you stepped into your apartment, muted music greeting you as you put your things down. looking around the room, your roommate calum wasn't around so you were assuming he was in his room. you sighed deeply, kicking your heels off before throwing your left overs in the fridge from dinner.
what felt like the millionth time, you had just came back from a pretty shitty date. the guy was totally not what you expected compared to the string of messages you shared with him on tinder but at this point, you shouldn't have even been surprised at how crappy of men are on the app.
as you walked down the little hallway that went to the bedrooms and bathroom, the song became clearer. it was a called tidal waves by some group called chase atlantic. calum had told you a while back it was his favorite song to listen too. he had even gone to see them live with a couple of his friends. he invited you but you weren't able to go because of work.
you frowned a little, stopping at his door that was cracked open a little. he was stretched out across his bed, his face barred in a pillow. he was simping. calum had a girlfriend a while back, they were together for quite some time but about three weeks ago they broke up. some days he was okay, but others like today, he really was in his feelings and music was the only thing that helped him.
a sigh leaving your lips, you continued to walk down the hallway to the bathroom, wiping off your makeup before hopping in the shower. the whole time you were in there, he had that song on repeat. this was bad.
once you stepped out with fresh pajamas on and wet hair, you thought about checking up on him; asking if he's okay. or at least try to make everything feel a little normal by just talking to him to get his mind off things. you heard shuffling, your eyes going wide as you continued to walk down the hall to your room. however just as you did, calum stepped out cutting you off.
"shit, sorry. i didn't hear you came home." he breathed, placing his hand on his chest as he caught his breath.
"yeah i've been home for a bit." you chuckled, placing some of your wet hair behind your ear, giving him a small smile. "there's leftovers in the fridge if you want them. i'm assuming you havent had dinner yet."
calum nodded, leaning against his door frame now, fingers running through his curls. "thanks. well, goodnight." he gave you a smile but it wasn't one of his genuine ones. as you wanted to your room, calum headed to the kitchen, grabbing a beer and chips before going back into his, lowering the music a bit.
throwing your clothes into the dirty hamper, you sighed. deep down, you've had a crush or some type of feelings for the maori boy. he had an interesting taste in music, he was really good looking, sweet and can be really funny. he was probably the perfect boyfriend.
staring to feel your sadness start to surface, you grabbed your laptop, putting on netflix to watch the third season of stranger things.
-
it was noon time the next day, you were doing some school work, typing away on your laptop as there was a soft knock on your door. "its open."
as you finished typing up the sentence you were working on, your door opened, revealing the curly haired boy from across the little hallway. "hey" you smiled a little, closing your laptop and sitting it on your end table.
"hi" he replied, sitting on your bed. he was working as he almost always had on: black shirt with some jeans. the only different was that he had a beanie on his head. "i miss talking to you."
"cal, we literally live together." you laughed, grabbing a pillow to hug to your chest. he rolled his chocolate colored eyes.
"you know what i mean," he sighed, running his hands along his face before letting his chin rest in his palm. "i feel like i've just distanced myself from everyone. i miss our conversations like on whose the best character on bobs burgers."
"you know my answer will forever be louise." you chuckled. calum just shook his head, smiling. this time it was genuine.
"anyways," he sighed again, changing the subject. "did you have a date last night?"
you nodded, your cheeks going a little pink. "yeah but it was shit. honestly, it made the top five. a sold number two. the guy was a jerk and to be honest i think he just wanted to fuck." you frowned. "finding love sucks."
"i second that. but that really sucks." he frowned too, reaching over and lightly holding your hand in his, squeezing it gently.
silence fell between the two of you, making you panic but calum was fine, eyes watching his thumb run across your skin. he looked sad and now you felt bad for him because he was probably thinking about her.
"do you need a hug, cal?" you asked quietly, his eyes moving up to yours. he was processing what you had asked for a second before nodding. climbing off your bed, you walked around, sitting yourself on his lap before wrapping your arms around him. his face was pressed against your tshirt, his body feeling warm and really comfy.
"i'm gonna die alone." he mumbled.
pulling his face away from your chest, you grabbed his cheeks, shaking your head. "no you aren't. you know how many girls would kill to have you? just be patient. getting over her will take some time."
you couldn't tell if it was your mind playing tricks on you but you swear, his cheeks just got extra rosy. calum just nodded gently before going back to hugging you.
"thank you."
"for what?" you chuckled, your fingers playing with this hair that peaked out from under his beanie.
"for telling me what i needed." he answered. after, he pressed the most gentle kiss on your neck before pulling his head again. you felt your heart melt for him. you genuinely wanted to cry because calum didn't deserve any of what he felt. he deserved all the happiness the world had to offered and here he was, upset and genuinely believing he won't find love again.
you were still holding his face, looking at the little details on his face, like the three little moles that he had on one side of his cheek, or his plump pink lips. you didn't realize what you were doing till you felt yourself kissing him. coming back to reality, you pushed yourself away from him.
"fuck, i'm sorry calum. i didn't mean to-" you couldn't even finish what you were saying as you got off him, barring your face in your hands, feeling like the most stupidest person. he didn't say anything. this was it. you officially ruined your friendship with the boy because you let your feelings get too caught up in your head.
when you opened your eyes, he had the cutest little smile on your face. "it's okay." he giggled a little. "i can't lie to myself and say i didn't enjoy that."
you felt your face flush red as he stood up from your bed. as he was heading to the door, he stepped in front of you, kissing your cheek. "don't worry. it'll be our secret."