What does it feel like to be surrounded by nothing?
And I'm not talking about not having friends or not having a place to live. I'm talking about literal nothingness. How would one cope with that? What's it like, knowing that there's so much out there for someone to experience, and having actually experienced those things for the majority of your life, and then have all of that taken away in a split second?
Violet knows.
Violet Adlon has been blind for a year now. She was always afraid that she'd be alone or forgotten, but now all there is around her is loneliness, literally. Nothing is worse than your worst fear becoming reality, especially if it's an infinite amount of times worse than you could've ever imagined.
What surrounds her isn't just darkness and loneliness, it's complete nothingness. There's no black and there's no white, there's just... nothing. How does one person just simply not see anything? How is there just 'nothingness'?
People that still have their eyesight can actually somewhat replicate this experience. For example, force one of your eyes shut and use your other eye to focus on something. What does the closed eye see? Nothing.
When Violet went blind, she first described the experience as 'being lost in a dark cave.' There was darkness, but not nothingness. Now, a year later, she doesn't even see the darkness. She's just stuck inside her own head.
Because of her disability, Violet has many struggles in her life. At first, she had to go to many hospitals, doctors and therapists. But she couldn't. Her parents didn't have insurance and also didn't have to money to afford any treatment. And it's also not like they really cared at all.
Violet's birth had already been an unlucky accident to begin with, which led to her parents, especially her dad, to disregard her and actually treat her as an accident. A piece of trash. A burden on their lives.
Her dad's neglect is what led to her 'becoming' this way. Right after she became blind, her parents, her dad once again a lot more than her mom, started ignoring her more and more. Her father started drinking even more than he already did, and her mother was breaking under all the stress that was put on her.
The fact that they'd never lived a luxurious life didn't help either. They lived in an old trailer somewhere in West Virginia. The ghetto was filled with mostly white people who failed in their lives. None of the residents ever graduated, there are pregnant teenagers roaming the streets and kids around eight years old that were already hooked on cigarettes, et cetera. All the people that weren't from the trailer park, avoided it at all costs. There had been plenty of shootings, and that there were plenty of meth labs wasn't exactly a secret, either. Even before she went blind, Violet didn't really have contact with anyone inside the trailer park. While her parents might be extremely trashy, she didn't want to be a part of it. But of course, she was still under eighteen, and was forced to live in those shitty conditions.
Violet's trailer was one of the more expensive ones, though. It was slightly bigger than the average residence in the park and it had been maintained a lot better than most. It was something that Violet's grandfather used to love doing. Every six months, he'd give the trailer and the pavement in front of it a good power wash and would do a bit of gardening. But he stopped doing that once he passed away, which was around the same time that Violet joined the unseeing.
While Violet likes to imagine that the trailer still looks good and well maintained, she highly doubts that it is. Every night, she can smell her dad smoking nasty-ass cigarettes on the front porch and she hears the clattering of beer bottles being broken against their small pavement. She could also hear her dad curse violently every time he tripped over an item lying on the floor, since the house became completely trashed after her accident. Nobody in the household seemed to give the slightest shit about anything anymore. There was no light and hope in their trailer. Just neglect, hate and abuse.
But there is one thing that could still cheer Violet up during these tough times. She has a service dog to help her out. While her dad might genuinely despise her, her mother does really care for her, even if she's bad at showing it. She never planned on having a kid and she had no clue how to take care of one. The amount of stress that that put on her makes her a lot worse of a parent than she means to be. But Violet obviously doesn't really know that. At least her mom cares a lot more for her than her father. But to be fair, that's not a high bar to surpass. Anyway, her mom had worked worked a lot of overtime, and after a few months of doing so she was finally able to buy Violet the service dog. Rosie is her name.
Rosie goes everywhere with Violet. Even if the blonde has to use the restroom, Rosie is always with her, lying curled up at her feet, and Violet absolutely adores it. If anything happened to Rosie, she wouldn't know how she would cope. It's the only thing that keeps her going during these times. She can't imagine anything, or anyone, ever loving and caring for her so much as Rosie does.
She loves to snuggle up to her dog and pet her all day long. She loves to listen to the dog bark and snore. And as weird as it seems, she loves to smell her dog, simply to have more things to remember her by. Even thought she'd only had Rosie for two months now, it felt like she'd been right by her side throughout her entire life. But just like always, whenever things are starting to look up, all goes wrong.
Her dad is an absolute nutcase. He's obsessed with Italian mafia, especially the code of Omerta, and he became over more obsessed with it after the accident.
Whoever appeals to the law against a fellow man is either a fool or a coward. Whoever cannot take care of themselves without that law is both.
Her dad swore that if she ever mentioned to anyone what he'd done or talked back to him, she'd immediately regret it. For nights on end, he'd repeated those two phrases when she was lying in bed. He forced her to listen to it, even if she broke down.
Her dad is the stereotypical abusive father. He acts tough, but in fact he's afraid. He's afraid that his daughter will rat him out to the police. He knows that if a daughter calls from that trailer park, saying that her dad hit her, they'd immediately believe her. He couldn't let that happen, so he forced her to say that she hit her head when she was 'being incredibly stupid and was playing on the roof of their trailer.'
Violet didn't dare to ever cross his boundaries. He'd made clear what would happen if she did, and it wasn't pleasant, to say the least.
But around week ago, her dad had one of his signature drunken breakdowns, where he just runs around the trailer and breaks everything in his path. Emma, Violet's mother, doesn't even try to do anything about it anymore, because if she does, she'll be the next thing in his path that he breaks. Literally.
Violet had a rough day that day. Not because something particular happened, but because the reality that she was permanently blind started to slowly sink in. And that's fucking rough.
And not just that, but she never in her life felt loved before. No one was there to help or or take care of her, except for Rosie now.
Because Violet has basically been neglected by everyone in her life, except sometimes her mother, especially now that she's blind, she tends to break down whenever someone lashes out on her. Most of the time when she's lashed out on, it's because of something that wasn't even her fault, which is something she has bad experiences with.
Going blind wasn't her fault either, and there was nothing she could've done about it. And that fucking breaks her every damn time.
Nonetheless, one day she was just done with her dad's bullshit. She fought back.
<<<
"What the fuck did you just say, bitch?" her dad growls as Violet hears him inching closer to her.
"I said, SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm so fed up with your bullshit!"
"That's good! We were planning on kicking you out of the house anyway. And seeing as you're so 'done with my bullshit', I'm sure you won't mind," her dad immediately retorts.
Violet immediately feels her heart beating in her throat. "W...W-What?"
"That's what I thought. Not so tough now, are we? But the damage has been done, missy. Me and your mom have been contacting a boarding school for troubled youth. We're fucking tired of you and your fucking blindness. We don't need OR want you here."
Violet froze up. Were her parents really kicking her out of the place she'd called home for her entire life now? While it had never felt like home, her dad informing her of this felt like a stab between the ribs.
Violet starts shaking her head in despair. "You're lying."
Her dad starts laughing like a maniac.
"Really, kid? I'd do fucking anything to get rid of you."
>>>
Violet had gone up to her room and cried. She cried like a baby, and longer than she even thought was humanly possible. Since her other senses strengthened after she went blind, she could feel each and every single tear drop individually rolling down her cheeks. How could a blind person possibly function in a totally new environment, let alone one where troubled youth are the only people she'd have as company?
She was clueless. But at least, she'd have Rosie to help her thought all of this.
***
Clementine Marsh stands in front of Ericson's after having spent the summer break with her parents. It's still a week until school starts, so it's just her and a few teachers on the school grounds for now. She'd arrived early because she always likes to get settled in for some time before school actually starts, and she likes the peace and quiet that the empty school grounds provide, even though she absolutely despises the school itself. But the other kids weren't actually as bad as you'd think. Yes, they may be labeled as 'troubled youth', but most of the kids ended up here because of a one time mistake. Anyway, the kids were actually really nice for the most part.
There's her best friend Louis, who she'd immediately bonded with the first day they met. The both of them just have a certain way with words and they immediately clicked because of that. But most importantly, both of them are very dedicated musicians.
Louis is a funny guy, tall and very outgoing and dramatic in his speech. He's got a dark toned skin and dreads, which Clementine would occasionally cut off in his sleep and put inside his breakfast the next day.
Louis was never nearly as amused as she was.
And then there is Sophie. She, together with Louis, is one of Clementine's closest friends. She has straight red hair that's so long that it almost reaches her butt, which looked extremely majestic and beautiful. She'd have it up in a ridiculously large bun most of the time though, she only really let it freely flow whenever school was over and they were sitting in the courtyard. The PE teacher had pushed her so many times to have it cut shorter, but she always refused. She liked her long hair. Furthermore, she has a bunch of freckles that almost cover the entirety of both of her cheeks and she has piercing, glacial blue eyes that sparkled with joy at all times. Except when she was around, or being pushed around, by her twin sister Minerva.
Minerva is a class A bitch. Clementine would, as she once said, do anything to see someone rip out her tongue, cut off her arm with said tongue, and then beat her to death with that arm. Clementine isn't necessarily known for being very nice, but she doesn't care, because she knows that she's in fact a very nice person. The only reason people think she's an asshole, is because all they only pay attention to her when she's being one. She hates it when people are being dickheads, so she makes sure to shut anyone down that's being one. She never uses physical violence though, she always verbally attacks people.
For example, one time the teacher refused to change her grade on a test when he'd made a mistake while correcting it. She had walked up to his desk, spit in his coffee, told him that he's as useful as a screen door on a submarine and that she'd dance on his grave whenever he died, even if he was buried at sea. She got a week in detention, but it was definitely worth it. He even changed her grade, so she considered it a win in her book.
As Clementine enters the grounds of her favorite hellhole, she takes a good look around. The school and courtyard still looked the same as they did last year. The walls surrounding the school were covered in graffiti and were slowly starting to fall apart. The vines and ivy on the walls were intertwining themselves with the many holes that had formed over the years. Whether those holes were formed because of the corrosion of the stone, or because Mitch blew them into it, didn't matter; the wildlife would always find its way. Some of the bigger cracks in the walls would sometimes be inhabited by birds to use as a nesting ground. At the end of the breeding season, it wasn't uncommon that there would be small hatchlings joyfully stepping across the yard.
In the center of the courtyard stood a tall, rusted metal pole with an Ericson's flag. It stood atop an old fountain, which was surrounded by wooden benches that had slowly started to mold over the past years. The fountain was completely clear of pennies, seeing as all the money that was throw into it was immediately fished out by other kids. The bench that faces towards the old, worn-down admin building is where Clementine and her friends usually hang out during the breaks and after school, if they weren't in the music room, that is.
Clementine and Louis both play the piano, and they'd take turns entertaining the kids that would come and listen to them perform every Saturday night. While Louis was more of a natural when it came to performing, Clementine had better technical abilities. It created a nice contrast, and the kids that always came to watch never got bored. Whenever Louis was performing an easier piece and pulling a bunch of theatrics and acting all idiosyncratic, the small audience was usually cheering and laughing. But whenever Clementine performed, everyone was dead-silent. Clementine, as far as technique was concerned, was an absolutely prodigy. She could play the most difficult pieces with ease.
One time while she was in the midst of a difficult piece, a kid started cheering and it distracted her, causing her to miss a few notes. Because she's a perfectionist, she'd snapped at the kid and called him a 'cock-sucking fructose badger.' Nobody had any idea what the fuck that meant, but no one ever said a word during her performances again.
Clementine now walks across the courtyard and sits down on the bench that she's all too familiar with. Even though she doesn't necessarily like being at the school, it does kind of feel good to be back. She looks at the dormitories to her right. The building was absolutely trashed because of the boys were always breaking shit. Mainly Mitch, though. He'd somehow always find a way to sneak in chemicals to make his own explosives and he'd 'test' them in the rooms of the people that he disliked. Clementine always thought that that was fucking hilarious, but sadly Mr. Ericson didn't.
Ever since the third time Mitch had pulled that stunt, the principal had made a bunch of new rules regarding the children's behavior in the dorms. Guess what? No one really cared about anything he had to say. People just continued doing what they were doing before, and the school just ended up giving up. Because of that, the second floor of the dorms is now an absolutely shithole, seeing as that's where the boys stay. The girl's floor was still quite neat, especially compared to the one above it.
As Clementine is busy brooding, she amusedly looks at a chair that had somehow made its way on top of the roof. It hadn't been there when she left to go home a few weeks earlier, so someone must've stayed behind and decided it'd be hilarious to put a chair on the roof.
And that it was.
Just like the school's walls, the dormitories were also completely covered in vines, and in some places, they were growing into the building. Some of the brown, smudgy windows in the main hallway of the second floor had been shattered when Mitch detonated one of his many bombs, and the ivy saw that as a perfect opportunity to find themselves a new, warm home. The boys thought that the vines creeping along the inside walls looked sick as hell, so they never removed them.
Clementine gets off the bench and walks towards the dorm building, planning to place all of her stuff back in her room. While she hadn't taken most of the things that were in there back home, she did take things like her laptop, PS4, and some of her books with her. She walks into her room and she's immediately hit with the familiar smell of said room. When she first arrived here, she'd tried her absolute best to make it feel as homely as possible. She put band posters all over the walls and put a bunch of plants everywhere, just like she had in her room at home.
She also has an electric piano, which she uses to practice on whenever the music room is occupied, or whenever she doesn't want people watching her all the time. But she doesn't just play the piano, she's a guitarist as well. She'd forgotten to take her guitars with her when she went home this break, so she immediately smiles once she spots her Mick Thomson signature guitar, as well as her Fender Telecaster hanging on the wall from wall-mounted stands, that she had been allowed to install after bitching to the school's council about it for days on end. When she had knocked on their door for the sixth day in a row, they finally gave in.
So now she has a room that she's decorated the exact way that she wants it, but the best part of her room was something else. She didn't have to share it with anyone. Because of her probationary report that's filled with countless cases of verbal assault on other students, they let her have her own room.
Definitely worth it, hehe.
At the start of every year, Clementine was always excited for all the new kids that'd be arriving. She always loved to hear the stories of why people got sent to Ericson's. Some stories were absolutely hilarious, while others were really sad. The one she remembers best was that of a kid whose hamster fell into a bowl of water. The hamster was cold and wet, and the girl was scared it'd get sick, so she wanted to warm it back up. She microwaved it.
Apparently her mom wasn't too amused about that.
Clementine wonders if any interesting students would be joining the school this year... Surely there has to be someone, right?
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed our first chapter of our new story. We've spent a lot of time focusing on this and already have more in the works as we speak! This was a longer chapter than I thought but we'll try to shrink them down in the future. We love you all and thanks for all of your support! -TG/Rijk16