"Mine's tastier!"
"Aniya! Mine is! We just burnt it earlier!"
"Jisoo noona! Hyung Jin is saying something about the burnt cookies!"
"Yah! I didn't say it like that! It's not her fault she's not good in baking it!"
Jisoo faked a hurtful expression towards the two boys comparing the cookies they've made. "Are you blaming me?!"
"Aniyo!"
"Don't believe him, noona. He was complaining earlier."
"Yah Jong Seob-ah! I told you I'm not blaming noona for burning the cookies because she's not good at baking or cooking!"
"I seriously don't know if that should comfort me or that's just pouring salt on the wound." Jisoo shook her head and made crying faces that the little girls around her giggled about.
The children in the orphanage were more than prepared and the place was already busting with Christmas decorations that there were just no need for her to give an input. Other than the presents for each person in the room that she already placed under the tree. There were a few added little children bobbing their heads to her arrival, about three of them, and she was glad she thought enough to buy extra presents for them. The colorful socks were hanging on the window sill instead of the inexistent fireplaces that Jisoo was sure she'd be filling up later when everyone's asleep. Or at least when the little ones aren't loud and too excited for Christmas.
The old woman, Sae Ra, and the other helper in the orphanage who knew her too well, welcomed her in big hugs that were too warm. Jisoo was indeed wearing new clothes, thick ones that actually kept her from gritting her teeth, and the others felt quite glad. She looked well taken care of and she quickly denied the idea of her buying the expensive clothes that were recently given to her.
Jennie has crossed her mind a lot, as if she hadn't been on Jisoo's mind more so than she could count, but she never saw the younger girl when she left the mansion. She couldn't even confront her about the very expensive and extravagant things given. Nor could Jisoo even personally say thank you for the other girl was gone before Jisoo left.
She sent some text message for Jennie that still wasn't replied to until after hours of arriving to the orphanage. When she kept being MIA, Jisoo was assured by Hyewon that the young mistress came back from somewhere she didn't dare to ask about and just locked herself to her room. She sent another message asking how she was and promptly thanking Jennie for all the thought and presents before going to sleep last night. Then Jisoo woke up with a simple 'You're welcome.' in the morning and nothing else that didn't exactly opened up for another conversation.
"Unnie, which do you think is better? A prince charming or a dark knight?"
Jisoo smiled at the little girl who was quickly warming up to her. Her name was Hara and she has chubby cheeks though she has a small frame. "That depends. Which one do you like?"
"Isn't the prince charming better for a princess?"
"Then what about the dark knight?" Jisoo asked Eun Ji who just offered her opinion. "Why would you think the other one's better?"
"Because the prince charming has a good face and really nice attitude. While the dark knight can be all brooding in the corner and shadows. It's scary and creepy."
"But isn't the dark knight always trying to protect the princess? Isn't that how fairy tales go? He saves the princess and then that's when the prince charming come along as if he did all the work with the saving."
'If students were these unrelenting in debates... it would've been a better discussion in class.'
"Unnie!"
"Jisoo unnie!"
"Neh?!" The children all laughed when they realized Jisoo was staring off in space. She chuckled and shook her head and continued drawing on the sketch pad that was in front of her. "You know... I really can't say anything about that."
"Why?"
"The princess needs one of them to survive, right? To be happy?"
"Yes! To have that happy ever after!"
"They say that in stories but remember this, girls..." She said with a squint of her eyes as she pointed at each one of them. "Sometimes we could rely on ourselves alone and believe in the girl that we are and the woman that we will be when we grow up. It's not always the boys who will do the saving, protecting and ruling, you know? See them?"
The girls who were sitting around her followed her line of sight and watched the boys doing stupid things. It was cute, of course, but Jisoo wouldn't want litte girls like them to rely on someone else in life. Especially on boys.
"Not so much like a prince charming or dark knight now, huh?" She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Don't say that I've said this but boys act more like kids when they grow up. Blehhh. Being independent and working your things out alone isn't so bad sometimes."
They giggled again and started stating things they probably never thought they would a few minutes ago. That's what keeps Jisoo fond of the children, they could change from one thing to another, think this idea through over that previous one and decide what they want for themselves without thinking so much of the consequences.
"But... Jisoo unnie, have you never seen someone and thought he's your prince charming or dark knight?" Hara with those chubby cheeks reminded her of another girl so she smiled widelt and thought about her question.
She nodded as she remembered a dimpled smiled and doe like eyes. "There was one."
"Eh?!"
"Jinja?!"
"Who?!!"
"Is he handsome? Tell us, unnie!"
"Is he a prince charming or a dark knight?!"
'Geez... is that all that matters to them?'
"Oh he's a prince charming alright." The others squealed and leaned in closer to hear what she'll say next. "But, you see, not all prince charming or good looking people or nice boys with cute smiles stay. They go and I'm not really one to wait around for them."
"Aww..."
"Tell us more about him, Jisoo unnie! Pleaseee?!"
The older girl laughed out loud and patted each of the little girls' heads. She didn't answer any more of those questions and instead led them to their shared rooms. It was getting late and just like how she was used to do before, she helped them up to their beds. Some routines before going to sleep and setting a lamp on just enough to illuminate the dark room. Outside the window, she could see the snow falling in such a calm way and if Jisoo could lean closer, she swore she could've seen a snowflake.
"What if he comes back and ask for your hand?" Hara asked in a soft whisper when Jisoo finished checking that the others were fast asleep after some bedtime stories.
"Then he can take my hand and shake it."
"Not even a kiss?"
Jisoo chuckled softly and brushed a stray strand from the little girl's face. "Sure. Maybe a kiss for old time's sake."
"On the hand only? What about the cheeks? Or your lips?"
"He can get a kiss or two on the cheeks, I guess." She leaned down and kissed Hara goodnight on the forehead. Then she pat her lips with the tips of her fingers. "But not on these lips. I've got this reserved for the person I like."
The little girl smiled and opened her mouth wide before she nodded for finally understanding. She's the first one that got to know that Jisoo likes someone else so the older girl made a shushing gesture. Hara giggled again before closing her eyes as Jisoo caressed her face for some comfort. Soon enough, all of them were asleep that there was only one more thing to take care of before she could rest for the night and wake up for the next day.
'Now... next are the boys, huh? May they agree to sleep already...'
~***~
"Jisoo?"
"Neh eommoni?"
Jisoo answered from her helping with preparation of utensils and plates for their Christmas feast. It's not much but wanting to give more since she has too much to spare, there are greater number of dishes and, of course, flavors of chicken she couldn't resist. There was an even bigger cake and some desserts she thought the kids would love to have just like how her eyes lightened up with the sight of them when she was younger.
"So how is it? Working in that place? You haven't been sharing to me what has been happening to you."
"Oh great. Just great, eommonim." She smiled because though it was tiring sometimes and difficult, the last ones that lingers in her memory was of Jennie's smiles and laughs before she left. "I mean, draining sometimes but I get enough rest and good time."
'Lots of good time.' She sarcastically said internally.
"So they've been treating you nicely?"
"Neh, eommonim."
'So nice lately that I wonder what's going on Jennie's mind...'
"Well would they mind if you stay here for a longer time?"
"Neh?"
"You didn't hear what I said? You seem to space off a lot now, Jisoo-ah."
Song Sae Ra is already an old woman but she could still notice every little change that happens with Jisoo. They had kept her in the orphanage and treated her as one of her own but there was always something special about Jisoo. She wouldn't say she has favorites but Jisoo is really the one closest to her heart and the woman missed her just as much, maybe even more than the children do.
"Sorry, eommonim. It's just..." Jisoo prevented herself for letting out a sigh or mentioning all about Jennie. Because she might go overboard and make the latter having too much information to comprehend. "Wait, you want me to stay here and not come back to them by tomorrow?"
"That's what I said if you were listening." She chuckled at the pout Jisoo showed her. Sometimes she could still see the little girl in the teenager one. "Maybe you could ask them a favor? Do they need you back immediately? At least stay until Friday?"
It was the 24th of December now and on a Tuesday afternoon which gives Jisoo another three days if that happens. She knows that Mrs. Kim was busy and granting her an extension for her leave won't be her priority right now. She could ask Jennie and hope that the younger girl would agree. Though she might have been missing that particular face, she also misses spending time with the people she was currently surrounded with.
"I'll ask. I'm going to contact at least Jennie right now."
"Ooh! Is that the little girl you're taking care of?"
Jisoo giggled as she spied her phone on the table, seeing messages from Chaeyoung and Lisa. "She's not exactly a little girl, eommonim. I mean, she's little but we're just one year apart."
"So you're taking care of someone who can already be considered as your friend?" She gasped and covered her mouth in that jokin manner. "And actually getting paid for it?!"
"Hey! She's not that easy to handle! Besides, she has the big birthday celebration coming up so we're meeting a bunch of people to prepare for it..."
She came on to explain that she was more like a personal assistant to Jennie more than a friend. Jisoo wasn't even sure if Jennie considers her as her friend until now. A laugh escaped her lips when she recalled a funny story that could indeed pass up as Jennie being a little girl in people's eyes.
"Yeah she's small but she could be terrible too. Though she's cute most of the time with those chubby cheeks. It might have been more obvious than Hara has. But her smile, eommoni, her smiles are just... and--"
"You love her."
"Eommoni!" The old woman laughed, ignored Jisoo's caught off guard and quickly flooding with red face. "That's not what I was gonna say next--"
"You sure sound like you would end up saying that any other way."
"I..." She cleared her throat and played with her phone. "I wasn't gonna say that."
"But you're not denying it too, Jisoo." The young girl opened her mouth to reply but closed it again when she saw Sae Ra's look. She could see through her and with all the babbling she had done with Jennie as its main topic, it wouldn't be too long for her to figure it out. "So... when are you bringing her so we can meet?"
"It's not like... we have that relationship or..." Sae Ra raised her eyebrows because the sure and confident Jisoo she knew was getting flustered. The last time she was close to being like this was over her first ever crush but even that wasn't to this extent. "She said she's spending it with her cousin tonight. Christmas Eve and their own huge feast they have back there."
"Did you ask her if she wants to spend it with you?"
"No, I... it didn't came up."
"But do you want to spend it with her?"
She saw the gentle smile on the older woman's face, gone all the teasing that she had earlier. "I wanted to but she could be happier there even without me. So I didn't insist."
"Oh Jisoo... why does that sound a ton too sad?"
She chuckled and shook her head. "It's funny actually, she was thinking she'd be unwelcomed here and you'd shut the door on her face."
"I only do that with people who hurt my children. Did she hurt you?" The latter squinted her eyes at her.
Jisoo wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to give Sae Ra a wrong impression about Jennie. Yes, Jennie has hurt but she already did the same to the younger girl too. She was sometimes hurting because of Jennie because of these feelings that had come into her realizations. Sae Ra didn't need to know all that but talking to the older woman was always a comfort.
"We did hurt each other a few times. But I like her though. If I'm hurting so much more than I would've thought..." She avoided the latter's gaze, not really ready to confess it all but the words felt like bursting from deep inside her. "I think it's because I like her too much and she doesn't know that. It's probably unrequited so it's not entirely her fault. I don't want her to be misunderstood by you."
Jisoo expected some advice or anything that the older woman would most likely say. But there was nothing of that sort. Instead, she was just given a pat on her back and a soft smile. That was all Jisoo needed and she was glad that Sae Ra just knows what to do with her.
"I still think you should've brought her. She would've enjoyed the pie." They shared a gaze before the woman went on her way back to the kitchen. "And speaking of pie..."
"Ahh... I told you there's already a cake! You shouldn't tire yourself in making that, eommoni!"
It's been a tradition to them that the old woman would make her very own recipe of pie, actually a tart but she calls it pie anyway, every Christmas Eve for everyone to enjoy. It could be tiring and with her age, Jisoo decided to buy a cake for dessert just to save her the hassle of it all. But the woman wanted to keep the tradition even when the children looked more excited about the cake.
"It's Christmas, Jisoo-ah, I do what I want. Jisoo. So you do what you want too." She replied with a chuckle before getting down to work.
Jisoo giggled to herself and checked her phone again. She saw messages from her friends, some greetings and questions about how is she doing. There was nothing coming from Jennie and before she started contacting the younger girl, she replied to Chaeyoung and Lisa first. When there was no instant replies coming from them, she sat herself and typed.
Hey. I was just wondering.
'No, that sounds too casual for a favor.'
Good afternoon. I texted to ask--
'Now that sounds plain formal and unfeeling...'
Hi Jennie
She sent the message and waited for a reply. When a full five minutes passed and there was none, she typed again.
Sorry to disturb you but can I talk to you?
I know you might be having the time of your life right now but I have something to ask...
Jisoo was about to send another one when a reply came. She thought she would have to wait for a longer time but Jennie sent her a message.
Jennie: what is it?
It's funny how her heart quickened its pace with just a simple reply and somehow she wanted to talk with her longer.
It's just... um...
Jennie: ?
Can I call instead?
Jennie: My voice isn't so good right now.
'Is that supposed to be a no?'
So I can't call..?
Jisoo held her breath when it took a longer time for Jennie to reply. When a notification appeared again, it was just a few seconds after her phone went dark.
Jennie: Up to you.
The black haired girl comteplated about it for awhile. When she decided to just get over it and maybe try convincing her so Jisoo could actually stay longer. She cleared her throat for as if she was the one whose voice doesn't sound so good.
She heard it ring and after the third one, Jennie picked up. Jisoo blurted out the first word she could think of. "Nyeongan!"
'What? What the hell, Kim Jisoo? She's not like the little kids you've been around with the whole day! Why did you say it to her?'
"Nyeongan?" Jennie said from the other end and she wasn't lying. Her voice didn't really sound like usual at all. "What's that?"
"It's just some... it's the kids and I was trying to be funny, making words and all. It's annyeong in backwards." She winced a bit for no reason or because Jennie could think she was being really weird right now.
There was a faint giggle and Jisoo almost smiled because of it. But something about it stopped her from doing it so freely. "How are... they doing?"
"Oh... you know. Just playing around and screaming for help when they feel like they lost from their games."
"And you're happy seeing that? Being there and all?"
"It's not that bad. Though one of them got his foot stuck and I had to come over so we could pull it out." She heard a sound that was supposed to be laugh but got cut off with a sharp inhale. "Are you okay? You sound unwell."
"I told you my voice isn't so good right now, Jisoo. What did you expect?" Jennie replied without the snarkiness and sounding more tired instead. "What did you want to ask?"
"Um... so I was thinking..."
"Hmm?"
"Can I stay here longer? If that's okay? I miss spending time with them and eommoni also asked if I could so... um..." Jisoo cleared her throat again and kind of hoped that Jennie would finish the sentence for her but the line remained silent. Almost as if Jennie hung up already. "Can I..."
"Are you happy there?"
The question was off, felt off for Jisoo when Jennie asked it again. She scrunched her face this time because of it. It didn't sound like the Jennie that once screamed at her that she didn't want to see her anymore. It sounded like the Jennie who said it was warm, even when she was drenched from head to toe, when Jisoo enveloped the weak girl in her arms.
Jennie sounded weak that when Jisoo was indeed happy this moment, she doesn't feel too good to say it to her. "Yeah. But I--"
"Then stay longer. Don't mind asking me or anyone. You should enjoy the holiday. Come back if you want to."
"But..." Jisoo trailed off because she can't think of what to say more. She still wants to talk with Jennie though.
"Is that all, Jisoo? I could really use some time alone now. So if there's nothing else, I'm hanging up."
"Yeah wait! I..." She exclaimed and she could imagine someone really cutting the phone line off. It was a weird thought but it felt like she stopped Jennie right at the second she was about to end the call. "Just..."
"What?"
"Merry Christmas, Jennie."
There was a long pause that she thought Jennie already hung up. "Yeah sure. You too."
Jisoo heard the beep that said the call was dropped already. There was a lot of things Jisoo wanted to ask like why would Jennie want some alone time. She saw the clock and there were only a few hours before it becomes December 25th. The dinner in the Kim mansion should be lively and grand. With Jennie's cousin around, she should be having the time of her life too. It was obvious that Jennie was in such a good mood when she found out he was spending it with her.
"Jisoo noona!!"
She was pulled out of her deep thoughts when the children called out at her. She put a smile on her face for now and it wasn't really that hard when she came over to see what they were all doing. It just wasn't enough to completely distract her for thinking so much about Jennie.
~***~
Kim Jisoo thought about it. Is it okay to leave before a such wonderful dinner? No, it wasn't. So she stayed, interacted and enjoyed the time for eating with the people she was currently with.
She thought about it again after they finished with cleaning up and were about to open presents. It's not good manners to just up and leave right? It wasn't an option too so she laughed whenever the children saw the presents they received and just convinced herself there's always tomorrow.
When she was about to head about to be bundled up in her sleepwear and comforting sheets, she texted Jennie another greeting that was left unreplied. She shouldn't fret so much but she thought about it again. Is it too late to go out and see someone in the middle of Christmas Eve when you should be staying in instead?
She must be going out of her mind.
Jisoo was repeating that in her head as she dashed from her place of comfort to a cold snowy night. She stopped by the shop that was of her favorite and bought one of their latest collection. Not thinking of keeping it to herself this time but actually gifting it and trying to think of the reason why she even thought it was a good idea to buy it right now. She wasn't even thinking clearly with all the fretting and rushing she was doing. She must somehow felt and knew it was what she should be doing.
It was almost midnight but she was lucky enough to catch a cab and direct it to where she's been thinking of going to since hours ago. She doesn't even understand why she was rushing, it's not like the girl she wants to meet will even go somewhere. But nevertheless, she kept assuring to herself that she wasn't too late.
With no one to blame other than herself... Jisoo put it on that Christmas spirit like it was indeed some weird voodoo that made people do things on instinct or impulse.
~***~
Jisoo arrived at the Kim Mansion and it was all the same. There were some lights on, but not the little and assorted colored ones that they took the time to arrange. The door was opened by Ji Woo who had a surprised expression on her face at the sight of her. Long coat and beanie on her head that still had traces of the snow she caught on earlier.
"Hi, unnie. I know it's late and you might be wondering why I'm here and all but I'm here anyway. I just want to see Jennie for a bit and..." The older woman was still staring as if figuring out if it was really Jisoo standing the doorstep. "Can I come in?"
"Of course." She shook her head a bit and let Jisoo enter. "Ahgassi is up in her room."
"Did you guys already eat dinner? What's up with the place..."
Jisoo didn't finish her inquiries when she just knew. She just knew with eye contact from Ji Woo. There was no Christmas spirit at all with them and even through the whole place.
They ended the small talk and Jisoo couldn't exactly take another second longer without seeing the younger girl. She went up her room, knocked but entered afterwards when there was no reply. The girl must be asleep because there were no light that welcomed her. Though there was a dim one from the above where Jennie must be at since she wasn't at her bed too.
Ignoring the fact that she hadn't really set a step on the extension of Jennie's room, Jisoo made her way up. Her eyes roamed on the different things that was unexpected to be there even when she can't make the most of it with the dim light. Then she focused on Jennie who remained quite still on the window sill, all curled up with her head against her knees.
She approached the younger girl and when she was close enough, she could hear some sniffling. It stopped her in her tracks and she blinked hard. Jennie's silhouette was visibly shaking.
"I told you I'm fine. I'm just not in the mood to eat. So leave me alone, Ji Woo." Jisoo was too stunned to reply. Jennie's voice wasn't just not good like she had stated hours ago. It sounded so broken and fragile. "Didn't you understand what I mean? I said--!"
Jennie looked up and came face to face with Jisoo. They stared at each other, sizing up each other's state. They were both dishevealed but Jennie wasn't so much in a good way. Her eyes were obviously swollen and she looked like she had been crying for hours.
She blinked away and faced the opposite side where the view was just plain white snow in front of the mansion. If she did the same just minutes ago, she would've been aware that about Jisoo rushing in to get into the mansion. But she didn't because she had her face buried into her own space and in the dark that she could manage.
"What did you come back now? I thought you said you'll stay there longer."
"I..." Jisoo wouldn't really say now her main reason why. So she was thankful to the wrapped present she was holding and moved to put it beside the girl on the space beside her. "I came to give your present."
"What's that?"
"Open it." Jennie, with squinted eyes, looked at her and she could mistake that for a glare. But instead it was simply appraising the object. "I mean that's the point of presents, right? Opening it to see for yourself."
Jennie let out a soft breath and glanced at Jisoo as if asking her if the present was really for her. Jisoo just smiled and watched as Jennie's hands reached for the present. She came to sit down at the space on the windowsill, not getting a comment from the younger girl. The pillows and blanket were on it, making it look like a makeshift bed. It suddenly felt like Jennie passed the time here, watching the outside world instead of staying in her queen sized bed downstairs.
"Are you sure you bought the right gift? Didn't you want this for yourself?" Jennie asked she finished unwrapping it in a way that astounded Jisoo. She was too careful as if she didn't want to rip it into shreds unlike how other people would do. Then she took it out of the box and held it, reminding Jisoo of the little kids holding their presents tight because they didn't expect to receive something that would be so valuable to them. "This is the snow globe you want, Jisoo."
"Yeah but I remember you being okay with cute and comfy." She blinked multiple times, trying to remember when she said that. Jisoo gestured to take the gift and Jennie's eyes went back and forth, her mouth opened and closed as if being indecisive before she finally reached it out for Jisoo to hold. The latter smiled and continued, "And it's cute and also comfy for you since if you shake it like this..."
Jisoo held it, holding Jennie's hands in the process, and shook it about five times. The snow globe started glowing, the snowflakes inside it making a cute hurricane around the little house. Jennie's eyes widened even more when they heard some soft and familiar humming. She checked to see if it came from Jisoo but the latter was only blushing a bit and smiling.
"You can record something here and it will play after you shake it. I tried it out earlier and there's this button here, if you want to change that because it'll keep repeating me humming that if you don't record another..."
Jisoo stared up at Jennie and her explanations were muddled up. The recording was still playing her voice, that one melody she hummed to Jennie when they were stuck in the cabin before. She saw a few tears on the brim of Jennie's eyes and gulped hard.
"Are you crying?"
"Of course not." Jennie denied quickly then rubbed her eyes, making Jisoo miss the feel of her skin under hers.
"You look like you are."
"Don't point that out, Jisoo." Jennie didn't glare at her. She only observed the snow inside the snow globe instead of the ones outside the window. "You idiot. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be having the time of your life with the kids?"
"Shouldn't you be too?" She replied in a small voice because this doesn't feel like something she should bring up. But she's been dying of curiosity since earlier when there was just no sign of any celebration. "You said your cousin will come..."
"He bailed."
Jisoo had no words after that. She feared that and this information just made her feel all the happiness she had earlier being drained. It didn't feel like Christmas at all anymore. Not when you're spending it alone and hopes of having the people you call family were crushed. If she was in Jennie's place, she would be a wreck too.
"Though he's not the first one to do that. It's just the first time that he broke his word with me." The younger girl laughed but the sniff that came afterwards made Jisoo ache to close the gap between them. She wants to give her a hug or a kiss or anything to make her feel better. Jennie looked too vulnerable in her eyes right now and she doesn't know if it melted or broke her heart.
"Jen--"
"Don't. Just don't." Her forefinger traced the outline of the snow globe, deep in thought. But Jisoo knew that even when Jennie was lost in her own world, it wasn't exactly a happy place. "I'm used to it. This is nothing."
It wasn't just nothing. It wasn't even something that people, girls like her age or anyone in the world should be used to. She doesn't know how many have feelings like this over what should be a joyous holiday but Jisoo doesn't want Jennie to be one of them.
"I'll spend it with you."
Jisoo said the words that she direly wish could give life back into those sorrowful eyes. She held Jennie's hand and smiled, hoping the latter would think it was genuine. That she really wants to spend it with her even right from the start.
She shook her head and took her hand away. "Don't be ridiculous, Jisoo. There are others worthy of your time instead of me."
Jennie stood up and sighed heavily. She paced a bit towards something on the desk, something that looked like a sketch in Jisoo's eyes. Though she was sure the other girl was just distracting herself from talking with her.
"Believe it or not... you are worthy of my time, Jennie." She stood up too and bit her bottom lip before saying something that would give away just how much she wants to see Jennie. "I wouldn't have rushed all the way here at past 11PM just to see you and spend time with you if I didn't think you're worth every second of every minute."
Jennie was fiddling with some thread when Jisoo came closer to her. "I don't need any pity. I don't want you to stay here because you pity me."
"I'm not here because I pity you. I'm here because I want to be here."
Jisoo took the thread from her and replaced it with her own hand to hold. She squeezed Jennie's hand and smiled. The side profile of the girl, that chubby cheek that she wanted to see earlier was up close to her.
"Why?" The latter finally turned to her and met her gaze. Her uncertain yet soft voice lingering in the small space between them.
"It kinda feels like I should be. Like weird voodoo... Christmas spirit and shit, you know."
Jennie stared at her for awhile before she started giggling with those words. Words that she had said before and Jisoo somehow learned to use the same way that she did before. When things just felt right without further explanations and when other questions complicating it shouldn't be asked.
Jisoo almost blurted out that the real reason why she was there by Jennie's side. She almost said that it was because of what she feels for her. That it's because she likes her. But she prevented herself because it's not the right time and she doesn't want to do it this way when Jennie looked in need for just some affection.
It felt nice to hear Jennie laughing after how fragile she looked earlier. The older girl reached for the sides of her face to wipe and caressed those tearstained cheeks. She cupped them afterwards, still missing the beauty she's been away from for only three days. Their eyes didn't stray away from each other and she could almost feel Jennie about to lean in to kiss her. But she didn't do that. Instead, Jennie just pecked the palm of her hand.
Jennie pulled away but the gap between them was just a few inches before their noses could touch. "Are you hungry?"
"No, I already ate." She brushed a strand of Jennie's hair and tucked it behind her ear. "You?"
"Just tired and sleepy."
"Oh..." Jisoo watched her shaking her head before the latter's figure looked like someone ready to fall in a deep sleep on the bed. She almost nodded but she thought that an empty stomach isn't good at all. "Jennie, I think you should at least eat something."
"I'm not in the mood."
"But--"
"Sleep with me."
Jennie said the words not in a commanding tone but rather in that requesting one. It wasn't a question either and Jisoo thought after a few moments that Jennie was pertaining to what they usually do. Sex, ofcourse. She pursed her lips for a bit before forcing a smile and nodding. If it's what Jennie wants and needs then--
"I don't mean sleep as in strip and have sex with me." Jennie spoke up just a little louder as if she realized too what Jisoo thought about. She started fiddling with her fingers again and the nervousness in her voice was enough to let the older girl know that Jennie might just be having a hard time trying to say what wants to get through to her. "I just mean... lie beside me and hold my hand until I drift off to sleep and we wake up in the morning together."
'We wake up in the morning? We? Together?'
Jisoo remembered Jennie's rule about her not staying overnight on her bed. She also remembered that she actually stayed over and woke up in the morning once only to find Jennie missing and not hearing anything else about the matter. That was three days ago but they didn't get a chance to talk about it. So her need to know if Jennie was really sure about this was greater than her want to sleep with the younger girl in that way.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." The small smile on Jennie's lips was enough to tug the corners of Jisoo's heart shaped ones. "I'd like to sleep with you again."
Jennie's fingers didn't fiddle with each other this time. Instead, she took Jisoo's hand and her thumb was forming circles on the back of it. When Jennie met her gaze, it was a miracle Jisoo got to hear the next words over the pounding of her heart which makes her deaf to everything else.
"You keep the nightmares away, Kim Jisoo."
》》》》》》》
Is there such a thing as sad fluff..?