"You're going to be alright," Prince Flynd promised as he led me to his father's office. "All you have to do is tell him what happened."
He had interlaced his hands with mine, and I wasn't sure if it was my state of vulnerability or depleted willpower but I let him. In all honesty, the softness of his fingers and the supportive warmth in his eyes was comforting.
It was hard to believe this was the same Flynd who had called my name "counter-intuitive" so many months ago.
"What if he doesn't believe me?" I asked, slowing my steps as we approached the King's room.
Flynd knocked on the door with his free hand. "Why wouldn't he?"
I frowned, but before I could answer, the door swung open. With a grim expression, King Renyld stepped aside so we could enter. "Come in, you two."
Flynd guided me to two chairs in front of a dark, mahogany desk. I sat down, brushing imaginary dust off my satin, red gown. I didn't like it very much but my best dress, the azure gown I wore so often, was the same one I'd been wearing when Sir Declan attacked me. And now, I couldn't even look at it without feeling my insides freeze and memories race through my head.
"We found Sir Declan in a spare bedroom," King Renyld said as he plopped into the seat at his desk. "They say he was holding his ear. It was bleeding."
I turned to Flynd who was smiling in encouragement, and tried to gather courage from his eyes that reflected nothing but a deep faith in me. "I bit him. To escape."
"You bit his ear? Why—"
"It was warranted," Flynd interjected. "He would have assaulted her."
King Renyld sighed. "Please calm down. I do intent to investigate the matter, I'm simply trying to gain context."
"He obviously was trying to hurt her. What more investigating do you need?"
"Sir Declan told some guards that it was consensual," The King said. "And then Ayan went crazy."
Anger bubbled in my throat, making it difficult for me to speak without screaming. "He's lying! Do you think I'm insane?"
How could he do this to me? Attack me and then act as if I asked for it. As if I wanted to be lied to, taken advantage of, and brutalized. As if I would cheat on my husband. As if I would cheat on Flynd for him.
"Both of you must ease down," King Renyld pleaded. "I believe you, but our laws grant a fair trial to everyone."
"That's a lie," Flynd snapped. "You and I both know you don't need to go through with a trial."
I stared at him in horror. "Flynd!"
"No, no, he's right," King Renyld muttered. "This is all far more complicated than I'd like."
With a weary face, the King began to explain that Sir Declan's family was fairly wealthy and despite their status as lesser nobility, they were well-respected and influential. If King Renyld convicted their pride and joy, Sir Declan, without a proper trial, the backlash could be enormous. Especially when the only witness was me: the Meretian princess who didn't belong in Arania anyway.
"But...if we have a trial," I tried to stop myself from grimacing. "What if-what if he's acquitted?"
The King shook his head. "I don't know—"
"That won't happen," Flynd interrupted. "I swear on my life that if Sir Declan is acquitted, I will kill him myself."
...
I was dreaming with my eyes open.
And I kept replaying the incident. From when I'd left the piano room to when I collapsed in front of Sir Lorcan. Every time the memory flashed through mind, it became more distorted and detached from reality.
I was covered in oil—oil that was streaking down my skin. And I couldn't breathe, I'd forgotten how to breathe. It was him. It was him.
"Ayan? Ayan?"
The voice sounded so crisp and clear amidst the oil. The one thing I could grab onto to pull me from suffocating in my own head.
Two hands gently touched my shoulders and shook me. "Ayan!"
It was the Prince. When had he come in?
I wasn't sure what to say as he sat beside me on the bed. But he could tell I wasn't distracted because he was speaking directly to me. "If you're wondering why I'm here, it's because I'm never leaving you alone. Ever."
"F-Flynd, you don't need to—"
"No."
He was still blaming himself for what happened. As if he was the idiot who had believed Sir Declan when he said there was another piano room. As if he had been the fool who had wandered away with a practical stranger.
"I'm tired," I whispered, turning over. "But I can't sleep."
Every time I close my eyes, I can feel it dripping down my skin.
"I'm here, Ayan. Sleep," He assured, laying down behind me. I felt my entire face warm when he wrapped an arm around my waist. It was a confusing feeling. One that reminded me of when we danced and he had trailed his fingers up and down my sides.
Damnit Flynd.
I tried. I truly did, but the harder I wanted to sleep, the less I was able to. I gave up, resolving to stare at my window until Flynd fell asleep. And then I could sit on my chair and try to learn how to breathe again.
But then, as if he had heard my thoughts, Flynd tightened his grip and leaned over my shoulder. "Don't think about it. Just relax."
So, I did. And soon enough, I felt my body begin to tire, and my eyes begin to droop. And then, blissful darkness.
...
My sleep was dreamless.
Flynd's arm was still fastened around my waist, but he was asleep. After I managed to peel his iron grip from my body, I went to my window to open the curtains. But when I opened them, the sky wasn't a melting blaze of golden afternoon.
It was black. Complete black.
I had slept for hours. And Flynd was still here.
I felt uncontrollable tears burst from me, and I collapsed to the floor, sobbing. What had he done to me? How had he destroyed me to the point that I'd slept for hours, just trying to escape his permanent scar on my memory?
"Ayan! What's wrong?" Flynd sprang from the bed, panic clear in his voice. "Are you alright?"
I nodded against my tears. "I'm fine. I...thank you for staying with me."
His face faltered. "Of...of course."
"Flynd, how often do you miss your mom?"
His eyes widened in confusion. "Pardon?"
"I'm sorry. That was rude but...I miss my parents. I was just wondering if it gets better."
"I miss her all the time," He admitted. "But it's become easier to cope with the pain. She died years ago."
"It's just..." I blinked back the tears pricking my eyes. "I miss her. Even though she sent me here. I miss her. I miss Father."
"I understand."
I groaned. "I'm such an idiot. What was I thinking? I was so naïve. So stupid."
"Please don't blame yourself."
"Don't act like I couldn't have prevented this!" I shrieked. "This is my fault!"
Flynd glared at me fiercely. "Ayan, stop it!"
"What?"
"Stop blaming yourself. If this isn't my fault, then it isn't yours either. Understand?"
I felt my eyes giving way to more tears. I couldn't do this anymore. All the crying and nightmares and screaming. How could he yell at me? When he knew what I was going through?
The Prince sighed and pulled my head into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."