Next update's going to take a little while - Exam week's next week
"Wait... So why don't I remember any of this?" Mordecai finally said after what felt like hours of him being silent. I spent the last hour or so explaining to him just what happened during the period of time he was corrupted. About Fresh, about the Quartet, about everything. I don't know how I was supposed to explain his presence to the orphanage staff in the morning, about why there was a guy who obviously still had both parents inside the building after hours. But oh well - as long as he's out of here by 7 AM, he snuck in through a window that I opened and we were talking in a corner where I knew that we would be undisturbed. I sniffed and wiped a tear away.
'You don't remember anything from when you're corrupted when you're purified again.' I remembered Fresh's words. 'Even if he gave you free will - You still won't remember a thing.'
"O...kay..." Mordecai's eyebrows furrowed as he tried to comprehend everything.
"Mordecai?"
'Yeah?'
"This may sound extremely creepy and weird but... I've never been happier to see that your hair's purple and skin's dark brown."
Out of context, that sentence would've sounded extremely wrong. But Mordecai, knowing that when he was Corrupted his skin and hair were pink, just smiled.
"So... let me just get this straight one final time - I got turned into a zombie, I-"
'You got Corrupted.'
"I got Corrupted, turned into a zombie, then you smashed a mug against this 'Fresh' guy's head, I got free will, and shit happened, you two kissed, Tetra and the others killed him and now you're depressed."
'...Yeah. That's about the gist of it...'
"Okay. Okay." Mordecai stared out the nearby window. "If I didn't know you any better, I would say that you were probably making all this up."
'I'm not.'
"I know. You got a phone, you got a necklace, et cetera, but I'm still... Wow. Girl, what is your life? You have pictures?"
'Actually... I do...' I muttered as I took out my phone and showed him a couple pictures of not only Fresh, but Barracuda and even pictures of Mordecai himself that he never remembered being in. He was quite surprised to see his skin such a light colour of pink when it was naturally so dark.
"Oh shit he's hot."
'Exactly my thoughts.'
"Girl, I'm jealous, damn, and he's got a nice ass as well!"
'I know right!' I actually smiled for the first time in what felt like forever. Mordecai never fails me in that aspect.
But our conversation was soon interrupted by the sound of footsteps and we both instantly went silent. We were prepared to see a middle aged woman walking in and yelling at us, but relaxed when we realised that it was just Lumina. In the moonlight, I almost mistook her for Trinity. I recalled that her and Tetra's hair grew in length when they... well, transformed, I guess, but Lumina's hair had gone back to her normal shade of bright yellow and either the hair lost itself naturally or she cut it herself. She looked tired and might've been crying. She stopped mid-step upon seeing Mordecai and I sitting there. I swallowed. She was one of the people who mercilessly killed him. It took everything within me to calm myself down and not cave her face in. I almost saw red despite the peaceful white light flooding in through the window.
"...What're you doing here?" She asked, crossing her arms.
'What're you doing here?'
"Couldn't sleep." She sighed. "This is like, the only place in the damn place where I can get some privacy without being stuck in a freezing cold bathroom that smells like piss."
'Oh. Okay.'
Silence.
"(Y/N), lemme just ask you something - why exactly did you start... dating... that Dickwad?"
'Excuse me, Dickwad? Fresh?'
"He's a Fresh Dickwad?"
"No, that's actually his name!"
"Fresh?"
'Well... Not his real name but what he asked me to call him.'
She nodded. "Okay. Anyways, answer the question."
'He was nice... And he took care of me, he's one of the few people to ever treat me so kindly-'
Lumina snorted and started laughing. I blinked. What was so funny to her? The damn guy is DEAD and she's laughing!
"Nice... Took care of you... Ah man, that's hilarious..."
'What?' Mordecai turned his body towards her. 'What did he ever do to you?'
Her expression darkened and her smile dropped. Fear?
"Let's just say... I won't be eating meat for a while..." She shuddered as she hugged her elbows close. I could see a flash of mixed emotion in her eyes. It was a mixture of hatred and fear. What did he do to her? "Especially not raw..."
Silence.
"How's your arm?" She asked. It was the first time she'd seen me since I had locked myself up in my room, so I guess it was only appropriate to ask.
I lifted up my left sleeve and exposed my arm. She nodded.
"The colour's less pink than the last time I saw it." She examined the colour. Ever since the thorns of the rose had sunk themselves deeply into my palm, and subsequently, for some reason I couldn't explain, Corrupt my left arm, it has been dyed the same colour as Fresh's skin. She was right - the colour was less angry, it was very slowly returning back to its natural shade of (S/C), and thankfully it didn't hurt anymore, but occasionally it would flare up. I still don't understand how the thorns of a dead rose could be so sharp. And the weirdest part is - if I touch the ring Trinity gave me with my right hand, nothing will happen, I won't feel any pain, but if I touch it with my semi-corrupted Left arm, it will burn.
'Yeah... I guess...'
"How're you getting on with finals?" She asked, changing the subject. Seemed like the only appropriate question given that our end-of-year exams were approaching rapidly. So was summer. I was going to be graduating soon, this is honestly scary, not to mention that I'll be moving out of the Orphanage as soon as I do so.
Lumina and Tetra both have somewhere to go to because Quin, their older brother having graduated already, managed to get an apartment. Since the four of them were the people who "saved" Paradise, they were given a handsome reward, half of which they spent buying a house that they were all planning on moving into. And besides, since the three of them will be moving in there - that means that Pi, who still technically has a year left before he's supposed to graduate, moves out of the Orphanage early to live with his siblings. And meanwhile I won't have anywhere to go to. I'll have a little bit of financial support when I move out, but that's only a little. I'll be all alone, in the outside world, not having any idea how to live. It's scary.
"I'm... well..." I tried to answer her question. I'm honestly doing horribly. After I lost Fresh, all I could find the energy to do was to lie in bed and stare at the wall, unblinking, unmoving as the hours passed by. Nobody questioned why, they just assumed that something bad happened to me during the "dark days", which they called it. Kinda ironic considering those days were the happiest days of my life. I was screwed for exams, honestly, but I couldn't find the ability to care. "Doing... great."
She didn't buy it. She just looked at me skeptically as she raised an eyebrow. But she didn't question anything.
"Well. I'll be going back now." She sighed. "Mordecai, remember to GTFO before 7."
'What time is it now?
"Quarter to six." She looked out the window. "The sun's coming up soon."
As the genesis of the new day approached, the amber ribbons of dawn crept across the sky. The sky was glowing a dim light blue with warm orange undertones. It was Dawn. Mordecai nodded.
"You can... go now, Mordecai." I sighed. "I think I'm gonna have a few more hours of sleep. Thanks for listening to me ramble."
'It's my pleasure, call me if you need anything, okay?'
"Okay."
As he was walking over to the window he came in from, he suddenly stopped.
"By the way, (Y/N), do you know the ruins of Fresh's tower?"
'Yeah? Did something happen?' Please tell me no.
"Well, after Tetra and the others destroyed the place, nobody really dared to go in there. Hell, even I don't, get a bad feeling. The guy responsible for the Dark Days did live there, and people say they get bad feelings around that place. Like, I dunno, his ghost is there or some shit. There's this fence surrounding the place, I went there yesterday. I found a hole in the fence, there's no guards, so I just thought that maybe if you go there, like, where he lived, laughed, cried, drank, bla bla bla, you'll have some closure."
'...Alright.' I was kind of sad to hear that the once magnificent tower was in ruins, but I was glad that because nobody dared to go in, nothing would be really disturbed. Maybe I'll find a few belongings of his. 'Thanks, Mordecai.'
"No problem. Well, see ya!" He waved before disappearing out of a window and journeying back home.
My old home is in ruins. At least there wouldn't be any people vandalising the place. Last thing I want are idiots spray painting tormenting and hate-filled messages on its crumbling walls. It was a Saturday, and finals were in two weeks. I couldn't find the energy to care. As I laid there in my bed, I started to consider going over to the ruins of the tower later today. Maybe. Just maybe. But right now it felt like the weights of grief shackled onto my limbs weren't gonna lift anytime soon. It was like whatever was left inside me had died away alongside Fresh. After a whole entire night of no sleep, I finally decided to try and get some. Which was surprisingly easy. It was like talking to Mordecai about what happened lifted a weight off my chest and allowed me to function again. But only just a little.
Seven hours later, I woke up. It was a cloudy day outside, looking like it might rain any minute now. Only one of my roommates were still in the room with me, reading a book in her little corner. Soon enough after lying around, wallowing in my grief, I decided to get up and get changed. Upon seeing this - her eyebrows raised.
"Well." She examined me. "This is the first time I've seen you out of that bed in weeks."
'I know.' I muttered.
"Got somewhere to be?"
'In a way. I think I'll go take a walk.'
"Okay." She waved to me and I was off. She never asked me what was wrong, but she never looked down on me for anything either.
Because summer was approaching, I decided to dress light, just a simple pair of shorts and a T-shirt I felt comfortable in. I also bought a flannel in case I got cold, but for the time being I just tied it around my waist. I thought that it might rain later on, so I bought an umbrella just in case. Maybe Mordecai was right. I probably will get some closure if I go to the ruins. It took me a while to get there, I just let my mind wander.
He wasn't wrong, the entire place was fenced off. Gigantic, the six foot tall fences thankfully weren't electrified, but they still loomed over me like a prison wall. The ruins on the other side were still coloured pink, but was duller than I remembered. It looked like a pathetic, destroyed gingerbread house. Because of the sheer size of the tower, its ruins were like mountains, and honestly it was more like a landfill. The colours, which were once the grandest, brightest, liveliest pink I've ever seen, were faded into an ugly greyish tone. It started to rain, the soft pitter-pattering of the raindrops forming a gloomy symphony as it fell to the earth. The umbrella I bought managed to shield me from the coldness from the mourning clouds up above. It was like the very sun itself was mourning the loss of Fresh - which might actually be the case considering who the god of the son was. I just stared up at the fence.
Mordecai told me he got a really bad feeling when he came here. So did countless other people.
But on the other hand, when I stared at the ruins, I just felt... Drawn to it.
Like something was calling me.
I felt warm, at ease, I felt fluffy feelings inside my stomach when I was near it. Hell, so much that I might as well be seeing Fresh himself on the other side, smiling, alive and happy.
Like a moth drawn to a light, my hand touched the cold metal links surrounding the tower, wrapping themselves around the smooth metal.
Mordecai said there was a hole here. After searching around a bit, umbrella raised and protecting me from the rain, I found a hole in the fence.
It was barely large enough for me to fit through. If someone like Mordecai were to try and squeeze through - he would barely make it, and that's it he doesn't get scratches all over from the shards of iron. Me, on the other hand, I just lowered my umbrella and inched through on my elbows. I got a little bit dirty, but I didn't care. I raised my umbrella again, but before I did so I put my flannel on. The ruins of the tower solemnly laid on the ground, like an earthquake had gone through. Some large fragments towered over me, on the verge of toppling over, while other smaller ones caked the parameters, lying like fallen soldiers. Mountains and mountains of rubble were piled upon the plains. There could be bodies hidden under there, golden chests, ancient relics, all the sort, and you wouldn't even know it. Droplets of tears fell from the sky, staining the ugly colour of the rubble ever so slightly. The pitter pattering of the raindrops on my umbrella calmed me.
This was my old home.
The rubble was like a landfill, and from here I could almost see the nearby town where I came.
As I was staring into the distance, lost in my thought, my heart almost skipped a beat when I felt something warm and soft brush against my leg. I whipped around, prepared to defend myself if necessary, but I lowered my guard upon seeing that it was a kitten. A kitten that I recognised.
"...Dumpling?" I asked, kneeling down. She still recognised me? I scratched behind her ears and she purred. Her bright green eyes stared up at me with joy hidden in them. She was still happy to see me? She didn't have a collar, either she was a stray or a pet of a really laid-back owner. Maybe she missed Fresh and that's why she's here.
But soon enough, she leapt away. I wanted to follow her, but as she ran across the rubble, I noticed something odd.
Underneath a dull piece of concrete, I saw a flash of something bright pink.
It sparked my curiosity enough that I got down from my little ledge and went to investigate. It was only when I got down when I realised how dangerous this place was - I almost fell and cracked my head open. As delicately as possible without hurting my hands, I pried away several bits of debris about the size of my arm. I saw a bright flash of pink that was completely out-of-place in this duller pink wasteland... Maybe it's something of ours. I know how dodgy I must look if someone were to look at me right now, it's raining, and I'm prying away at the ruins of the tower that belonged to an evil demon king. The pieces were all heavy, and having spent the past two weeks practically in a coma, not getting out of bed, I felt myself having to use muscles I never even knew I had (or wanted for that matter) in order to lift all the rubble up. I know I should be calling quits, just giving up seeing how heavy and difficult the task was, but... I don't know, something was drawing me to whatever was underneath there. Like I just saw a pile of shining jewels buried there.
I lifted up the final piece...
...
...
...
It's... a bouquet... of bright pink roses...
Slightly squashed, scattered messily, but still... alive.
I could feel my heart start to bang its fists against the cage that was my ribcage. The thundering that was my pulse wouldn't get out of my ears. For a moment, everything spun as I tried to breathe as deeply as possible. My hands felt cold, but the moment I started to run my fingers against the silky petals, it felt like it was returning warmth back to them.
I swear... I swear by every fibre of my being that rose that sunk deeply into the flesh of my palm was dead.
Was it though...? I mean... The petals were dead but the thorns were still sharp... Maybe it's just a rose thing, or maybe I'm just looking too much into things.
...So why are these roses alive?
"I said that these roses won't wilt. The only time they will die is when I do. So if you're feeling nervous, and you're worried for my safety, just look at the rose in your hair. If it's alive, then I'm alive and kicking"
If these roses were alive, then that means that Fresh is as well. But...
That rose definitely was dead. He's gone. These are just some random roses in the tower that were for decoration.
Yeah, but these stems are coal-black. That's something that belongs to Fresh's roses and Fresh's roses only.
Genetic mutation. You saw the state he was in! There's no way he's alive after that!
He survived having a hole blasted through him. Sure, the whole reason he lived through that is by two personalities amalgamating into one, but still!
Even if he is alive, how do explain the dead rose?
Took a while to come back to life? I don't know? I don't think it's my place to dwell in this kind of unworldly magic sort of thing.
You heard what Trinity said! Even if he did come back to life, he's not the same! He's probably a monster, a savage, he probably doesn't even recognise you! This sort of stuff always happens in stories, you do realise that, right? Think about this!
I'm going to find him anyway.
If you die, it's your own fault. You're gonna die.
Ignoring the voice in my head, I picked all the roses up. Looking at the bright colour sent such a strong wave of Nostalgia through me that I couldn't help but smile.
For the first time in weeks, I felt hope.
It was warm. It felt like a sunrise had showered my frozen cold heart in warm light and was thawing it slowly.
The warmth felt nice.
But as the information slowly started to truly sink in - I just started to realise to myself what exactly this meant. Just like a slow-moving poison - the epiphany sank slowly into my bloodstream. Dumpling stared up at me, with an innate joy swimming deep inside them. Like she knew what the Pink Roses meant.
I knew. She knew. I knew that she knew. She knew that I knew.
Fresh was possibly still breathing
My eyes widened and shot over to where I recalled him spending his final moments with me. Erratically and desperately, I tried to rack my brain of memories from our final moments together - which was kinda hard considering that not only was it more than two weeks ago, but also that I had spent those two weeks in-between then and now just... well, dead. Clearing. Near a cave. A 15 minute or so walk from the tower. In that general direction.
Glee. The warm feeling of glee that was in my heart felt like gulping down a mug of hot, sweet tea. It warmed me up inside.
Pink roses.
Living Pink roses.
Along with the joy bubbling inside my stomach, I also felt a hint of anxiety bubbling with it. The cocktail in my stomach the two completely different emotions formed was disgusting.
What if this is just a red herring? What if these really are normal roses? What if this is all a lie and he's actually dead? If Fresh really was alive, would he even recognise me? Would he be a man-eating monster? What would the Quartet think? Would they try to kill him again? What if he attacks me on sight? What if he's a vegetable now? What if-
Dumpling nuzzled against my leg. Her presence was always calming for me. Slowly, the anxiety started to calm itself down. She's like an anchor.
You know what, there's only really one way to be sure, isn't there?
If he's turned into a cannibalistic savage, then so be it. At this point I don't see much purpose in life, let him kill me. Those weeks I spent with him were the most alive I've ever felt, so if he's alive and well, I would have a chance at feeling happy again.
I don't know how the gods above will react to him being alive, if he even is, I don't know if Trinity would try and kill him again, but you know what?
There's only really one way to be sure, isn't there?
So I take a rose with me and carefully hop down from the rubble. It is so easy for me to crack my head open on one of those rocks it's not even funny. After crawling through the fence, I look at the forest nearby which I recall Fresh spending his final moments. Dumpling, apparently scared of the sea of green, stayed behind.
Maybe it's not over