Jackie's POV:
The next few weeks pass quickly and without excitement. Most of what I see of Calum is at school between classes. He's seemed preoccupied with something. I don't know what. I haven't worked up the nerve to ask him.
But one day after work he brings up moving in together again. My breath gets short at the mention of the topic.
"So I talked with my parents - " he starts, pulling out of the driveway at my work.
"Uh-huh." I mumble, picking at my cuticles. When situations get uncomfortable or tense my hands suddenly seem to become the most interesting thing that ever existed on planet earth.
"They're trying to get me to move into the beach house." he adds.
"Trying?" I ask him with raised brows, "Like, as in you don't want to move there?" I scoff. It's Malibu, he'd be crazy not to.
"Yeah, trying. I don't want to live off of their money. I have my own. I don't want them having that kind of control over me." he says sternly.
"I don't think they intend to control you, Cal." I say quietly, still focusing on my hands.
"I guess I don't mean control... monitor, I don't want them monitoring me like that."
"What're you gonna be doing that they shouldn't know about?" I ask him with a giggle, looking at him sideways.
"I don't know." he sighs, "So, Jacqueline Madson, would you like to move to Malibu with me?" he rests his hand on my thigh, keeping his left one fixed on the steering wheel.
I want to hug him and kiss him and tell him yes, but I also want to jump out of this moving car. Point being - I really don't know how to feel about him asking me this. I haven't thought about what I would say when the topic was inevitably brought up again. But I should've thought about it.
I fixate on the tattoo on his inner forearm. The horseshoe. It can either represent luck or the inverse, depending on how you look at it. When his arm is at his side it's lucky. When he waves at you it's unlucky. Right now I choose to look at it as a sign of luck despite it laying horizontally, bordering the two ideas.
I don't know if I believe in luck. I don't know if I disbelieve in it either.
"Jackie?" Calum asks and I break my eyes from the ink marking his skin.
"Oh, um, well, - " I mutter stupidly.
"You don't have to. At all. I just thought - " he stops himself and shakes his head dramatically, "I don't know what I thought. I'm sorry."
I realize that my mouth's hanging open, words poised to fall but failing miserably.
We pull into his driveway and sit there, looking at one another.
"Yeah," I say quietly, fixing my eyes on his brown ones, "Yeah, let's do it."
"Really?" he asks, his eyes lightening ever so slightly.
I nod in response.
"But are you sure? I don't want to force you into anything." he says, grabbing my hand.
"YOLO, Cal." I laugh, remembering how Luke told me that when I wasn't sure about moving in with Ashton.
"I like you." he smiles, leaning in to kiss me.
"I'd hope so, you just asked me to move in with you." I laugh, touching my forehead to his.
"Yeah, I did. Then you said yes. Then I kissed you." he says, pressing his lips to mine gently.
"And so it went." I say with a smile when we pull away from one another.
"Alright, let's go tell them that I caved." he rolls his eyes.
I laugh again, "If you wanna get an apartment together instead, that's fine too."
"It's a nice house." he sighs, "And they genuinely want to help so I should let them." his eyes roll again and he shakes his head quickly.
"My oh my, how very noble of you, Mr. Hood." I say sarcastically with wide eyes, following him inside the house.
His parent's greet us in the living room as Calum sits on a recliner. I stand next to Calum's chair awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot. Calum wraps his long fingers around my wrist and pulls me down to sit on his lap. I hesitate, glancing over at his parents, both of whose attention is now fixed on me.
"Uh, I don't - " I start but he interrupts me.
"C'mon, you're fine." he says quietly, setting his jaw.
I sit on his lap and cross my arms uncomfortably. He laughs and grabs my wrist yet again, pulling it to drape across his shoulders. He turns his attention to his parents but my stare lingers on his face. On his jawline. His eyelashes. His eyes that hold so much that I've yet to discover.
I've changed since Calum. Before him my world was dark. Life was gray, colorless. Happiness seemed to be this mystical emotion that was spoken of but never actually felt. But now he's here and things don't seem so bad. I feel that mystical emotion now. I've changed in the best possible way. My only concern is how I'll change again if things don't work out between us. Would I go back to how I was? Would life be dull again? I cringe and my chest hollows at the thought.
"So you two'll be moving in together then?" his dad asks with furrowed brows and my attention snaps back to the present immediately.
"Uh, yeah?" Calum says like it's the most obvious thing.
"Well, I - " I start but Calum interrupts me.
"We'll get an apartment, if you'd prefer." he looks at his dad with raised brows.
"No, no, it's fine." his mom pipes up, shooting a look at her husband.
"Yeah, so when can we move in?" Calum asks his mom. He threads his arms around my waist and slips his thumbs through the side belt loop of my jeans. I feel his fingertips gently pressing into my skin through the denim. I'm incredibly uncomfortable about the level of affection being displayed in front of his parents right now. But he doesn't seem to mind and neither do his parents, so I try not to overthink it.
"Whenever you'd like." she smiles at him.
"Thank you." I tell them in a genuine effort at conveying graciousness.
"It's no problem, sweetheart." his mom smiles warmly.
"Okay, we'll leave you two to it, then." his mom claps Calum on the shoulder as they leave the room.
"Hey, roomie." Calum nuzzles into my neck.
"Hey, boyfriend." I giggle.
"God, I love hearing you say that." he says quietly.
"What 'hey'? It is a really good greeting." I joke and his chuckle vibrates against the crook of my neck. I feel his breaths fanning my skin. I feel my pulse quicken slightly. I just feel.
"They don't like me much, do they?" I ask him quietly.
"They do. They're just worried, that's all."
"About what?"
"Me fucking it up." he raises his eyebrows.
"Huh. Funny, I was worried about the same exact thing." I smirk at the fake scowl that is slowly overtaking his features.
Calum's POV:
"You do realize that we've barely known each other for three months, don't you?" she laughs lightly into my ear, wrapping her arms around my neck.
I do realize, and I don't care. It feels longer than three months, it feels like we've known each other our entire lives.
"Best three months of my life." I place a kiss her shoulder.
"Ditto." she whispers.
We just sit there, her on my lap. My arms snaked around her waist, clutching at the fabric of her t-shirt, fingers pressing lightly into her flesh, deeply inhaling her scent of vanilla. Her fingers fiddle with my hair and the seam of the collar on my flannel shirt.
I realize that this is one of those moments. The kind of moments that are fleeting and few and far between but by far the most beautiful and meaningful of them all. A moment of complete and total contentment and care for each other. This, right now, is one of those precious moments and I try my very best to absorb as much of it as possible.
After a while she speaks again, her face now buried in my neck "Maybe we'll be okay."
"Maybe." I answer and hope with every cell of my body that we will be.
I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder, earning a squeal from her. Her laugh is the single most beautiful sound in the entire world.
"Calum, what're you doing?" she asks between laughs.
"We must go pack!" I laugh with her, taking long strides down the hall with her in tow.
"Now?" she laughs even harder.
"Time is of the essence!" I tease, tossing her down on my bed as I move to the closet.
"You need boxes, you have too much stuff." she says, sitting up at the edge of the bed as she looks around my room.
"You're right. Let's go buy boxes." I say and hoist her onto my shoulder once again.
"Oh my God." she gasps with a giggle as the outside air infiltrates our lungs.
Jackie's POV:
Calum's in an exceptionally good mood today. I suspect the idea of living in Malibu might have something to do with it.
We pull into the parking lot of Lowes and he smiles over at me.
"What?" I ask him with a grin.
"I'm excited." he wiggles his eyebrows at me cheesily, "C'mon."
When we walk inside Calum gets a shopping cart and orders me to get inside.
"What? No, I'm not three years old, Cal." I laugh at him.
"Are you sure?" he laughs, lifting me up and putting me inside. I flail my arms and swat at him but go limp when I realize that I'm losing this juvenile battle.
"That's not fair. You're too strong for your own good." I cross my arms and pout as I sit down in the cart, facing forward. I must look like such a child. I don't care. Because even though I'm faking anger right now, I used to be angry. And I've learned that faking anger is a hell of a lot better than being angry.
"You know you love me." he laughs and my mouth goes dry, "So, uh, where're boxes?" he changes the subject immediately, clearing his throat.
"Uh, that way, I think." I choke out with wide eyes and a pointed index finger. He's pushing the cart so he can't see how pale my face must be right now. I'm glad for that.
Did he really just say that? Did he mean it? What if he did?
We find the aisle with boxes and Calum nudges my bent legs apart to rest the boxes between them.
"Do they really have to go there?" I ask, looking at the now flat and unassembled cardboard boxes that are propped between my knees. He doesn't answer me. He just winks. And my cheeks just flush. And I just feel happy. And just, just, just.
By the end of the night his material life is packed and ready for transport.
We lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, hands entwined. I hear his breaths, gentle and soft and filled with relaxation and I wonder if my breaths mirror his. I wonder if I mirror him in more ways than one. I wonder if I mirror his emotions, his ambitions, his lust, his goals, his wants, his desires, just him and everything that he needs and ever will need. I wonder if I'm enough. And I wonder if I'll ever have the confidence to stop wondering if I'm enough.
A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading! It means the world :)
Vote and comment, please! I'd greatly appreciate it.