I don't know if I love you.
I don't know what love is.
And I wish with all the air in my lungs
To be able to tell you
That undeniably I am so far in love with you
That when I drink
When I eat
When I exhale
I do it with your name on my lips
But I do not do those things
I do not fill every step with a mantra
I do not lie in the middle of the street
And think "it's okay. I love her"
Because whether or not I do
Is an answer I've yet to reach
Because what the fuck is love
What does it feel like
Perhaps scratches down bare backs if I could guess
What does it sound like
Sinful whispers of your name?
What does it taste like
Run and coke and cherry chapstick as all the other poems put it
Because it can't be so pure
But who am I
To wager what love is
When I am unsure of if I have ever experienced it
So no I cannot say I'm in love with you
Because I do not know
Whether this thing we have
Which is more than fistfuls of hair
And bruised necks
Can even be called something so demented by modernity
•••
A/N: everything's gone wrong