Sophia's POV
I left my apartment as soon as I knew the rest of the crowd would be coming back.
I just feel really detached. Like my mind and body are two different things.
What happened with Elliott was one thing it's just the way he reacted plus him leaving plus Matt getting into the hospital.
Maybe I'm going insane.
I've had a rough few weeks
Elliott almost dying twice was something else
Almost getting gang raped and murdered was great too
Elliott being all weird
And on top of that Matt is in the hospital.
Can my life get any better.
I talked with Elliott on the phone and he sounded nervous. I mean I hope he didn't think I would break up with him or anything...did he? I love him I really do it's just I've known him since I was 14 I mean it's been 10 years. Where are we going with this relationship?
I love him I really love him. But I'm scared he doesn't feel the same way back. Maybe he just doesn't want to be committed to me. I'm 24 and I want to know that soon I'll be settling down, and I can't believe I'm saying this but I want to settle down with Elliott.
Elliott is just...obtuse. I love that about him but he can be so sweet and loving one minute and then the next he can be so closed off and cold.
He's been the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He's taken care of me and loved me. He hasn't left my side even through the worst. That has to mean something. Right?
I parked on the street opposite of the hospital which was a bit unusual considering the fact that hospitals NEVER have parking like wtf?
I was told that Matt got moved to a room on the third floor so I went up.
When I knocked on his door and he didn't answer I just went in slowly.
He was sitting on his bed all banged up playing...TETRIS?!
"Matt"
He looked up and smiled
"Hey stranger sit down" I walked over to his bed side and sat down.
"What's up with you Soph? You look upset"
I nodded "that's because I am"
He frowned and said "what's wrong?"
I told him everything and he listened Intently and politely. He even gave some good advice.
At the end of our conversation he gave me a big speech and he was so confident In himself it was almost reassuring...in fact it was.
He said
"Listen honey, Elliott is the person that was there for you through everything. Did he ever leave you? No. Did he ever show signs of wanted to leave you? No. Will he ever leave you? Absolutely not. So what this knucklehead needs is just a little more time. Not everybody is just as confident as you and he might be doubting your love for him too. Give it some time something good will happen I know it. Elliott had something up his sleeve. And it's going to be great" he smiled and I ruffled his hair giving him a hug
"What are you doing for Christmas?" I asked him.
He shrugged "chill out in Boston. I'll probably party or something"
I narrowed my eyes at him "party?"
He smirked "yea party. Not everybody attracts rapists like you three"
I smacked his arm. "NOT FUNNY!"
He looked into my eyes and said "go to Elliott have a quickie" then he winked
I shook my head putting my hands on my face "EW!!!"
"What is there some special mood thing involved?" He Asked
"EW EW STOP!" I screamed while laughing
I stood up off his bed and gave him a hug.
"Thanks Matt"
He smiled and returned the hug. I left his room smiling. More importantly feeling a bit better.
As I was driving to Elliott's apartment it started to rain cats and dogs. It's was pouring....and I didn't have an umbrella. On top of that I couldn't find parking close enough to the entrance.
So I walked through the rain. By the time I came in and was already in the elevator I was soaking wet. Not a single thing on me was dry and my hair was drenched. I hate feeling wet especially like wet clothes on me..nuh uh!
I knocked on his door awkwardly and he opened it in two minutes and stared at me.
It must've been a sight, me soaking wet with my hair sticking to my face and my make up running. Very hot Sophia keep it up.
I awkwardly put my hand on my forearm and grimaced not knowing what to say.
Suddenly he took my hand and pulled me into his apartment closing the door behind him. He pushed me up into the wall with his body and put his arms above my head staring into my eyes.
Looking into his eyes was enough for me to fall for him again and again and again.
I could feel his warm breath on my skin and the heat radiating off his body made me tingle...everywhere.
I needed his warmth too, I was freezing and wet.
"You drive me insane sometimes" he whispered. Bringing his face closer to mine.
"I know" I whispered back.
Then he kissed me, this wasn't his usual quick "I'm a CS personality" type of his. There was a lot of emotion behind it.
He was angry and sad at the same time. There was lust and love in it too. And it was a little rough but gentle. He kissed me with such passion I forgot about everything and it was just us.
He pulled away and put his head Into the crook of my neck. I could feel his soft hair tickling me.
"I love you. You are one of the most important things to me." He whispered and kissed my collar bone.
"I love you Elliott" I whispered back. I could feel his hands slide up my back and underneath my shirt. He was so warm and it felt amazing.
He trailed his kisses up my neck to my jaw line and then stopped and stared at me. He gave me a butterfly kiss and then kissed my nose.
"Your so beautiful" he said to me while I could feel his warm hands slide up my back to the clasp of my bra. I wrapped my hands around his neck. And kissed him.
He was sad, nervous. I could feel it. He kissed me back and tried to let go of all the tension but he couldn't. I guess I'll do it for him.
I took off his glasses gently and set them on the kitchen counter. He's like two different people with his glasses on and off. He took my hand and led me to his room where he closed the door and we started to kiss again and again.
Elliott looked at my soggy clothes and then smiled and took off my skin tight,at this point, shirt.
He looked at me in just my bra and jeans and whispered "better, beautiful"
I kissed his neck and his lips, I missed him, I missed this. Not the sex itself, the passion the touching the intimacy.
I jumped on to him, wrapping my legs around his waist. He held on to my legs and continued to kiss me. I pulled away and stood back on the floor. I was breathing heavily now and Elliott looked delirious. I took bus hand in mine and pulled him closer to my level. He shrunk down a little and smiled at me.
I laughed a little and he started to smile even more. His award winning smile, he is gorgeous. His blue eyes were shining even more now. They were electric blue and beautiful. His chocolatey brown hair was so soft and messy. He even smelled good, he smelled like his cologne and books and coffee.
I sat down on his bed next to him and climbed into his lap after kicking off my jeans. I wasn't wearing anything special today. I was just wearing a black bra and black underwear.
I'm usually uncomfortable in my own body, but Elliott makes me feel pretty. He makes me feel confident.
But today I feel a little awkward, I don't think I am beautiful, I tried to cover my body with my arms when I realized I was just in a bra and underwear.
Elliott frowned and cocked his head. He took my arms away from my body and wrapped them around himself instead.
He leaned into my ear "don't hide"
I frowned and he kissed me neck "your beautiful, no matter what your beautiful to me. Don't hide from me"
I blushed and he smiled tracing his finger down my cheek. He cupped my face with his hand and I dropped my head a little letting my hair fall into my face.
He put the strand of hair behind my ear and then made me look at him. "What's wrong? Please Sophia tell me what's wrong. I love you and i can't stand to see you in pain. You are one of if not the most important thing there is to me in this life."
I closed my eyes and sat in his lap curling into a ball while he held my body.
"Elliott I felt like I was a second priority. I just felt like you...you didn't want to...commit to me as much I do."
I started to cry and it gave me a tremble. Elliott held me tighter and dropped his head. "I'm in love with you. You are my 1st priority. I think about you all the time because I want to be with you all the time. You keep me together, your my life line. If i didn't have you I'd be in jail. I owe everything To you. To be capable of loving someone like me, to be capable of accepting me and to be with me. Even when we weren't dating I had a crush on you. It was more than A crush actually,I just didn't know at the time. You make me feel things that no one else can. You are the most beautiful person in the world to me. When you hurt I hurt, especially when I am the reason you hurt. I try to do everything to make you stay with me, even if I have my doubts. But every single time you show that you will, I still keep doubting that you might actually have the same feelings towards me as I do to you. You make me want to be better and to do things for you, your presence makes me ten times happier. I don't know why you want to be with me, but all I know is that I'm grateful to god everyday because you are. I'm sorry if I haven't made you feel loved lately and I'm sorry because of the hospital incident. I really do love you please stay with me, and I'll commit." He said with a sad time of voice.
He looked so sad and broken. "Did you think I would break up with you?"
He dropped his head slightly and nodded. I took his hand and decided to tell him what I felt like "Elliott, your my boyfriend by name, but in reality your a part of me. That part I can never lose. I've loved you ever since I beat your butt at video games or when I saw the way you look when you did your math homework. You make me feel amazing and just the look in your eyes makes my heart melt. I've always wondered why you wanted a weirdo like me. I still do, but I try to stop dwelling on it, because I want you to love me for the real me, the only me that you know. You make me feel beautiful and confident, you make me feel perfect just the way I am, and I don't have to change myself for anybody. I don't only love you, I'm in love with you. There are many times when I've doubted your feelings for me, but every time you show that you love me. Please stay with me. I would never be able to do anything with knowing that I can't go back home to hug you or to hear your witty jokes. You truly are the man of my dreams"
I squeezed his hand and he looked at me and closed his eyes. "You're staying with me?" He asked carefully.
I snuggled into him "always. No matter what you do, even if you make me mad or sad I'll stay with you. Always"
He grimaced and it was so painful to see him hurting. I could feel it too, I guess that's what he means.
I know he has abandonment issues and he was close with his mom, this must be very hard for him.
I wrapped my arm around his waist and laid my head on his chest while crossing my legs in his lap.
He slowly opened his eyes and the strength he presents everyday marvels me.
He hugged me, putting his head in the crook of my neck, I could feel him shaking like a puppy. He's my my broken little puppy. My puppy.
"Shhh Elliott I'm not going to go anywhere. Even if I do I'll always come back to you. Calm down" he was still shaking and I decided to repeat the lines his mom used to tell him. "When you feel alone or sad, look up at the stars, they hold the answer to everything. The people closest to your heart will always have a place there. Every body's heart is like a star, you can see them but they are too far away to touch. Listen to your heart because it's always right even if it is on the left side"
I could feel him tighten his hold on me a little and I could feel him start to shake a little more. And then I could feel a wetness...oh no he was crying!
I put my hand on his head stroking his soft hair. This must me even harder for him. His mother and brother died a few days after today.
"Shhh baby shhh I love you don't cry baby don't cry" I said while stroking his hair. He stopped shaking but he was just staying still with his eyes screwed shut and his head resting in the crook of my neck.
"I love you Elliott. We are going to go through this together, because we were supposed to end up together. You trust me right?"
He slowly nodded
"Good. I won't ever leave you. I will be your girlfriend for the rest of your life if it makes you happy. As long as your happy I'll be happy." It hurt me to say that but it was true.
Elliott turned his head and kissed my neck. "I'm sorry" he whispered over and over.
I hugged him tighter and stroked his hair. It was so soft I actually wondered why it was like that.
"Do you want me to stay?" He nodded and said "all the time. I want to be with you all the time"
I nodded and kissed his cheek and he slowly lifted his head and he looked so broken.
"It's 4:00" he said.
"So?"
"You said your leaving at 5:00 to go home" he said
"Elliott I just told you like 5 minutes ago I'm not leaving you, especially today. I'm not leaving. I'll leave early tomorrow"
"Really?" He asked
I nodded "really"
He kissed my cheek and pressed his against mine. "Thank you." He whispered.
I nodded and pulled away looking at him. He was adorable, he really did look like a cute little puppy.
I kissed him putting my hands in his hair while his hands rested on the small of my back.
He's a good kisser, such a good kisser.
I'm not going to go into the details but we both ended up clothes-less and under his warm covers. It's a good thing I ended my period.
I was resting my head and hand on his chest and my other hand was in his hair.
He was trailing his fingers against my skin on my back. He was holding my hand with his other hand.
"Elliott?"
"Hmm?" He looked down at me.
"I love yoooouuu!" I kissed him while propping myself up on my arm.
I kissed him even more until we were both out of breath.
"That was quite a proclamation you made" he smiled sideways
I smiled an laughed. I love it when he's funny. I kissed his nose and laid back down.
"You're adorable." He said
I giggled "aren't I always?"
He sighed "ya yes you are"
He kissed my forehead pressing my body closed to his.
"You're so warm" I said as I snuggled into him. I took his warm hands into mine.
"I love it when your warm. You smell good too" I said
He smiled "thank you. I try."
"Keep it going"
He looked at me "for you I will. I'll do anything for you."
We ended our day with another make out session and a discussion over what converse colors go with everything because I'm getting tired of black and red.