"Mrs.Winston," a guard said, and I turned towards him.
"Yes?"
"A phone call for you."
I grab it from his hand, "Hello?"
A grunting sound made its appearance. "Mio cuore," Anthony sounds like he's in pain.
My chest squeezes tightly, and I tremble, hearing gunshots ringing in the background. "Anthony, what's wrong?"
"My wife, I don't think I am coming home today."
I squeeze on Clark's hand, causing him to whimper lightly. "W-What do you mean-"
"I'm sorry."
Blank.
A blanket of emotional darkness motioned around me, a black sea. A sea that stops moving and producing sounds; intact senses that somehow feel useless.
That's how I feel.
Anthony had been missing for fifteen days, three hours, twenty-eight minutes, and thirty...one...two...three...four.
When my parents passed the pain coursed in the back of my mind like a pulse, everlasting, no relief. Now, it pushes itself forward, demanding undivided attention. Each time I try to ignore it, a squeeze inside my heart appears. Every breath I take; gets more laborious than the last.
"Ann," I look up to see Lily. Steadily, she stalks towards me with the blanket wrapped over her shoulders. She places a hand on top of mine, "Let's go to sleep."
I look back at the scenery, dawn slowly approaching us. "He-" my hands wrapped tightly around one another, feeling the tension inside my chest. "He didn't come back last night, either."
Lily curl her arms around my head, bringing it towards her chest. I continue staring at the sunrise, a breathtaking scene. One I had witnessed for the past fifteen days. It never changes.
Settling myself at the dining table, the day continues motioning. Everyone pretends everything is okay. In reality, anything can collapse any second like a needle pinching against a balloon.
"When is Big Bwother coming home?" Clark asks as he drowns his pancakes in syrup.
"Yeah! I want to show him my awesome new sword skills! I'm like a knight!" Bruce stabs his fork in the air, pretending it is a sword.
"Oh! At school, we are doing a running competition and guess what? The teacher said I'm the fastest runner!" Berry puffs out his scrawny chest. "Ann-" he starts calling me by my nickname, attempting to be more of an adult. I would be lying if I said, I didn't miss it when Berry used to call me Big Sister. "When is Anthony coming home? I want him to watch me run!" he grins proudly.
"And I got a B on my math test!" Kevin yells, giving himself a high five. "I can't wait for Anthony to see it!" He squeals, wiggling in his seat "I hope he would buy me that gameb-" he slapped his hands over his mouth. "I-I mean, I hope he will be proud of me. Yes, that's it."
Lily smiles grimly, while her eyes waver towards me, "Good job, boys!" she cheers them on.
I force out a smile, "Good job...Anthony would be proud," I said, attempting to fight the tears.
"That's enough, everyone." I turn around to see Anthony's mother. She arrived two weeks ago when she heard of Anthony's absence, "Don't you boys have school?"
All of them gulps, before sparring towards their rooms to get ready for the day. She settles herself across from me and looks at Lily. She took that as her cue to leave. One by one, all of the maids and butlers left through the double doors. "How long are you going to continue sulking?"
My lips began to tremble as my hands clutched firmly against one another; eyes staring at the untouched food in front of me. "H-How can you d-do it, Laura?" I look upward. "He's your son."
Laura leans back, arms crossed across her chest as her slim leg wraps on top of the other. "He's missing, not dead."
Dead. "How do you know?"
"It's because he's my son that I know he is still alive." She sucks in her cheeks. "That...and they haven't sent home a casket with his body inside."
The tears began rolling down my cheeks, hearing her cruel, twisted words. I held a hand over my mouth to lower the sobs.
"Why are you crying?"
My chest tightened, and suddenly, it became harder to breathe. "B-Because of A-Anthony."
"Now, you're lying," she said calmly.
I look back up, "W-What?"
Laura leans inward, chin resting against her palm, "Have you been crying for my son, or are you crying for yourself?"
I was baffled by her question, "How can you ask me that?"
Laura leans in closer. "Then look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not afraid of the aftermath of Anthony's death."
My body only trembles against her dark gaze.
"You're crying and drowning yourself in self-pity for what? For Anthony? However, what do your actions do for him? Does it help him come home? No."
"I love Anthony."
Laura stands up, "You claim to love him, but I haven't seen you do a damn thing for my son this past month. All you've been doing is self-pitying your own situation."
I shake my head. "That's not true."
"Which part? The part where you're doing nothing to help the man you proclaim to love or the part where you're not sad over him rather yourself?"
"Mamma, that's enough. Sorella maggiore is going through a lot right now." Francesco steps inside the dining room.
"And what about everyone else? Anthony is your older brother! He is my son! Do you not think that I feel something? We all do! However, here is his so-called wife-" her voice became a taunting one "the woman who is supposed to walk with him through thick and thin is doing nothing, but self-pitying about her future."
I couldn't respond, because it's the truth. There is a part of me that's afraid of what will happen in the future without Anthony.
Laura shakes her head. "Quite the daughter-in-law my son brought home," she spits out, before stomping out the door.
My eyes close, feeling more water sliding down as my body continues trembling as the door slams shut. Francesco releases a deep breath before settling beside me. "Sorella maggiore, I apologize on Mamma's behalf. She is just stress-"
I shake my head, feeling the unbearable sensation only growing. "Your mamma is right. I am afraid of what will happen without Anthony."
"And that's a perfectly normal response," Francesco attempted to soothe me.
"You must think that you have one pathetic sorella maggiore," I said, seeing Francesco opening his mouth to respond. However, I stand up. "Ever since Anthony went missing I haven't done a single thing except wait for him in the front of the house." With the feeling of being absolutely pathetic.
Francesco's chair creaks as I bury my face in my hands. He grasps my shoulder, turning me around. Feeling his warm embracement, I held onto his shirt. "There are limitations for everyone," his words weren't meant to be cruel, I know that much. However, it was the most bitter word I've ever heard.
Is this it? This is my limitation.
Wrapping the blanket around my body, I stare out the window of the bedroom; waiting for the black car to appear. Waiting for my husband to come home.
And that's all I could do.
Wait.
A knock on the door made its appearance in the dense air. "Come in," I said, eyes never once wavering from the entrance.
"Angelica," Antonio's voice drifts into my ears.
Instantly, I stood up and rushed towards him - the blanket drifting onto the floor. I grasp his shirt, "Did you do it? Did you find Anthony?"
He didn't respond.
I look behind him to see Drew. I ran towards him with a slim smile. "Please, tell me Anthony is behind you."
His face seemingly aged in exhilaration this past month; wrinkles were scattering across his features as the bags rested like mountains. Drew closed his eyes and shook his head. "We...We couldn't locate him."
I dropped onto the floor, and immediately Drew held me. Antonio held me upward, "Go to sleep, Drew. I'll talk with Angelica."
"No. I should-"
"Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately?"
Drew chuckles, unamusingly. "I don't even remember the last time I showered," he attempts to joke.
"Just go. If you're trying to become a comedian, you need sleep," Antonio waved him off.
Drew look at me. "We will find him," he said, but I didn't respond. That line, that single line, I heard it far too many times. From him. From Francesco. From the guards. From everyone.
Antonio grasped my body and carried me to the bed. Gently, he laid me down as Drew sighed, leaving the room. I close my eyes, curling my body inward; an action somehow soothes me.
"Angelica. Do you truly love Anthony?" Antonio asks.
I nod my head, "I do." I respond, lips quivering once more. I don't understand, why people continually question my emotions for Anthony.
What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to help him when I have nothing to offer?
"I know someone," he said in a low tone.
My bruising eyes crack open, feeling the painful sensation from the constant tears, "You do?"
He nods.
I sat upward, feeling a little light-headed due to the lack of food consumption. Antonio held onto my shoulders, ensuring I wouldn't pass out on the bed. "Who? Who is it? Why aren't we speaking to that person right now?"
"She...She is debating whether or not she should get involved."
I held onto Antonio's shirt, grasping it tightly. "Please. Please, can you convince her to help...Please."
Antonio swallowed, "I will talk to her," he said, and I released a breath of air. "However, you should know that her involvement comes with a price."
"Anything. I'll do anything."
Antonio gave me a grim smile before pulling out a cell phone, one that I had never seen before. He stood up and closed the door, dismissing all the light shining from outside. I watch as he paces around the room. He stops, "Hey, it's me."
He licks his lips, "Yes, I know you don't want to get involved. Look-" he presses his hands against his forehead as his foot begins tapping on the hard floor. I tighten my hands against the blanket beneath me. "I'm certain he already knows. So, why won't you allow him to help?"
More unknowable muffles from the other side of the phone.
"He won't help because you don't want him to get involved. We all know that" Antonio's voice volume increases, but somehow it sails smoothly.
Suddenly, he laughed, but not in a carefree, playful way, "It doesn't concern you? You do know that if the Marazona's family falls. It means that the Esposito's family takes over, right? Guess what, Alice in fucking Wonderland, the Esposito's family, only has one heir."
He crosses his arms, grounding his teeth against one another. "And if the heir happened to not want to take over. I heard he has a bab-"
"Don't you bring my baby into this!" the woman's voice enrages, to the point that even I can hear it.
"You're making this situation harder than necessary," he hisses lowly. "I wouldn't have brought this up if you helped like I asked you to this past month. Why are you such a selfish bitch?"
More muffling voice.
Steadily, I stand up and walk towards Antonio, "C-Can I speak with her?" I whisper.
"Anthony's wife, Angelica, wants to talk to you," he said, throwing the phone at me. "Maybe, you can talk some sense into her."
I press my ear against the phone, "H-Hello?"
"I'm not getting involved," a sweet melody rang into my mind, "We are not getting involved in this situation."
"Please," I whispered, but she didn't respond. "I don't understand what's going on and why you're not helping. But, I'm begging you" I held the phone firmly with both hands, fearing it may drop any second. "Please, my husband needs your help. I'll do anything."
She exhales, "Put Antonio back on the phone."
I handed the phone over, and he brought it back to his ear. "We won't get him involved if you help," he nods. "You won't get exposed. Completely anonymous. I promise."
After some time, Antonio turns off the phone. "She said she would help, but-"
"But what?"
"But this stays between us."
I chuckle briefly, "What are you talking about? We should tell Drew, Francesco, and Anthony's m-"
He held his hands on my shoulders. "We cannot tell anyone about her."
"Why not?"
Antonio exhaled once more before licking his lips. "It isn't clear, but-" he pauses, pressing the tip of his nose.
"But what?"
Antonio swallow.
"But what Antonio?" My voice is a tad louder.
"I believe that someone gave out information about Anthony's whereabouts the night he got ambushed," his eyes drape into mine. "And that someone happened to be in this mansion...with us."
I laugh, waiting for him to tell me that it was one ole joke. However, soon, I realized he wasn't laughing along with me. The laughter twisted into a low cry, "You're telling me...someone in this mansion sold Anthony out?"
He nods, "We can't trust anyone."
I take a step back, not understanding why I'm laughing in such a situation. "I-I don't believe you." My eyes rest on him. "How can I trust you?"
Antonio licked his lips, "You can't. You can't trust anyone, Angelica," he said in a firm voice before taking a step towards him. The beating inside my chest enrages. I withdraw from the man in front of me. He pries towards me, eyes digging deeply into mine. "You cannot tell anyone about what we discuss. Understand? This is the best bet to get Anthony back."
Swallowing the dry saliva, I nod.
Antonio expels a breath. "I'll tell you the plan later." He scratches his head "Hopefully, she comes up with a good one" he mumbled underneath his breath before walking towards the door. He stops his pace and turns around. "Go to sleep. You're useless when you're tired."
I nod my head.
He points at the bed.
I follow his command and crawl into bed. Antonio sighs at my actions walks over and tucks me in. I didn't expect him to be so gentle, so comfortable. Using the tip of his fingers, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Good night," he smiles and stands up, walking out of the bedroom.
I turn to my side and stare out of the room, into the darkness. Going on a single elbow, I reach for the cabinets beside the bed, pulling on the handle, a low squeak roll into silence. I grabbed the teddy bear inside and held it close to my chest.
It feels safe.
I curl my legs up towards my chest, crunching it inside of me; an action that seems to force the small toy to become a part of me.
It feels like Anthony is beside me.
"Anthony. Please, be okay."
The days continued passing, and I couldn't reach Antonio. Settling myself on the bench, I lowered the phone when it went to voicemail once more. My head drops low, "What can I do?" I whisper to myself.
The phone rings.
I clear my throat and wipe the tears away, seeing an unknown caller. I slide my thumb across the screen, "Hello?"
"Angelica?" That familiar voice stings in my ear.
"You're-"
"Be careful what you say, there are many ears around you," she said.
I grip onto my shirt and look around, seeing the same bodyguards. Inhaling a sharp breath, I nod. "I understand."
"Hello, Angelica. If you recall, I am Antonio's friend. You may refer to me as N&A," she said.
I force myself to stay calm. "How can you help him?" I whisper, going straight for the answer.
She chuckles lowly, "A little how are you, won't hurt," she said. I hate it; how calm she sounds, "You want to help him?"
I nod, "Yes."
"Antonio told me you're willing to do anything."
"Yes, I'll do anything."
"I got a plan."
"What is it?"
"Before I tell you my plan. There is something you have to agree to do."
The beating inside my chest only increases as I feel the curious look running in my direction. What if what Antonio says is true, I can't trust anyone. "What?"
"You have to take over Anthony's seat and become the true Mrs.Maranzano."