It's been four days since I came to Seattle. Dad's condition was stable yet he did not open his eyes. Doctors did say that there is nothing to fret and patient is responding positively, but I couldn't help but be concerned. Every day the torcher grew, my day started with taking care of dad and ended with sleeping near his bed.
I was tired, I didn't get proper sleep for the last days but my mind was not at peace and I refused to think anything other than dad. For the long term interest, doctors prescribed a lot of drugs and the bill was quite long.My mom was adamant on not taking money from Summer, that girl had been nothing but a blessing but she straight away refused to withdraw her Hand from helping us.
She religiously came to the hospital everyday and she is practically running Park Enterprises in dad's absence. She completely took care of all the monetary matters and I couldn't help but feel ashamed.
And for the first time I realised, how I was living in a bubble. A bubble which included my mom, dad and my friends. I didn't know the pain people took to earn money, I am so pampered I'm afraid I don't know the dirty tricks of the world , the horrors of this society, the actuality of life until I met Terence.
For these past few days, he left me alone. It's as if our engagement the whole facade never took place but I knew better than to believe that, especially when very channel, every paper discussed the infamous Billionaire's engagement. Every one around the world had so many theories about me. Some were gruesome while others were downright bluffing, regardless nothing was true.
Thankfully, there wasn't any picture of us together and the picture they had of me did not do justice in showing my face, my head was hung down and Mark was covering my body from the prying paparazzi.
I gently rub my arms, my muscles were sore. The weather was hostile and I was close to catching cold.
Mom and I didn't talk much, I had no clue what to say to her. I couldn't believe my ears when she said that my marriage to that man will be real for her. Well, it will never be for me. I cannot even think him as my husband. That intimacy, that authenticity..that love, I will never give it to him. He is the reason my dad is so stressed, I'm in this situation..I can never look at him differently.
I come out of my thoughts when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and come to face Sara and Abby.
My tiered eyes meet their serious ones and I gulp. I didn't know what to say to my friends, and now that I'm engaged to Terence. There is a lot I need to tell them...and I'm afraid things between us might get rocky..from now.
*********
I look around and take in my peaceful surroundings, the big tress and the chilled ,cold rays of the transparent sun and the silent breeze calmed my nerves. I nervously rub my hands together and look at two of my friends, who were lost in deep thoughts just like me. Unlike my previous notions they did not bombard me with questions.
They just understood the graveness of the situation. Silence became too heavy between us. All three of us were shocked because of the recent turn of events, no one of us could fathom what just happened. Our lives were completely disturbed. Sara and Abby cared for me. Despite knowing them only for the past two years, our bonding was unlike anyone else. I was so wrong about them, at the end of the day they are here with me, like my true friends unlike Elisa and Ray.
How strange things are right..my childhood friends, who knew everything about me, every note, every word weren't here with me. Aren't here when I needed them the most. Our relationship was just a phone call now. That's it. I often wonder how fragile bonds are, how sensitive human emotions are. Well, actions speak louder than words and I have got my answer. I guess I was the only one investing in our friendship and at the end of the day..I'm a loser.
I try to hide the hurt on my face.
"What's happening Nevaeh?" Abby's scared voice reaches me and I can't help but look at her in my complete vulnerability. She immediately launches herself onto me and I embrace her in a much needed hug. Sara soon enough joins and we three sit there in the hospitals garden and try to convey our unspoken words, emotions.
After what felt like forever we hold our hands together and sit on the wooden bench. Sara speaks up,
"I didn't know things will turn about this disastrous Nevaeh.I'm so sorry..I should have asked you..kept pestering you to tell me. I'm a bad friend—
"It isn't any of your fault dear, it's just a bad phase, give it time it will pass" my reply comes out instinctively, as if I was trying to assure myself.
"You are getting married, You are 20 and you are getting married..can this be anymore ridiculous." Sara grudgingly opines. I sigh.
"Dad's condition is not good, Park Enterprises is in loses, mom is on the verge of a mental break down and I'm getting married to the most disgusting human being ever! I don't know Sara..I'm afraid... this is all too much for me" I lean into her and Abby instantly catches my hand. She squeezes it in reassurance while Sara pats my head lovingly.
"I never in my wildest dreams thought that our lives will get intertwined with Mr.Terence Rodriguez. I hope he ain't anything like he is portrayed to be, I hope" Abby whispers. Her dark long hair shines under the sun.
I shake my head at her.
"He is unpredictable, I'm afraid he is exactly like how people view him. He is selfish" my eyes were lost in a deep haze, the way he walked, they way he talked...he was powerful and he knew it. He could ruin me and he did it..
"You will carry his name Nevaeh...someday you have to bear him children too!" I cringe at that aspect, it will happen over my dead body. My children will never call him dad. He will never father my children. No chance.
I look at Sara and her green eyes are highlighted behind her thick rimmed black spectacles.
"I will die before that happens" I say with determination.
"You will be his wife, if not you who will do that.." Abby states with an obvious note. I wish I could tell them that this will only be for an year. I will be his wife only for an year. Only.
"I need a temporary solution for all these problems guys" I look at both of them who seemed suspicious, their brains were put to use and they knew they are missing out something important. They are no fools.
They know me well enough, they know I don't go about doing what is right at the moment without thinking about it's implications, complications.
And they are right. I have thought a lot about it, and maybe just maybe getting married now is a safer option. Playing good is a better option. Of course all my dreams of getting married, all promising ..beautiful thoughts of a wedding, of cherished moments will all be crushed. In my dictionary I'm committing a sin, using marriage as a means for material gains. As a medium for a temporary closure, making it so commercial..making it a deal. Making things cheap. Degrading.
I feel Sara suddenly stiffen, she looks dead into my eyes.
"This more like a business transaction right..Money for a wife!" She shakes her head in disbelief while I bow my head down in shame.
"This should just be between us." Abby instantly catches my shoulders and turns me around to face her.
"You are marrying for money Nevaeh! What is wrong with you!" She spits those words right on my face. She is right, how can I be so desperate right! How can I be desperate when my father is lying in on death bed, when my mom is dying every day, when I'm sacrificing my morals, my beliefs—
How dare can I be desperate! A stray tear rolls down my cheek and I immediately wipe it off. They are not wrong, infact I'm a bloody gold digger for the rest of the world. This is a stain which will never leave me. Even when I'm done with this one year, I will still forever remain a women who married Mr.Terence Rodriguez for money.
You never know when world will start influencing you and you start accepting things.
Accepting things.
Will I start accepting that I'm a gold digger?
"Nevaeh! We are not done talking.." I had enough I look at them straight,
"You want to know what is wrong right! so listen and listen good because I'll not be repeating this pathetic story once again!"
And I tell them everything, everything that I have been through for the past one month. The meet, the bargain, the contract, Berlin..just everything.
They listen, listen to my every word, my every emotion! What I'm feeling!
What I have been through!
And both of them engulf me in tight bear hug. Their arms were strong and rigid not letting me go and for a second I was thankful of that fact. This felt really strange, yet it was oddly satisfying. We never showed our affection, it was always awkward for us when it came to showing how deeply we care for each other, but look at where we are now. We are practically smooching each other. I atlast had my friends with me, to support me..who will stand by my side now.
I was grateful for that fact
"No matter what Nevaeh you will share everything with us! No more secrets" I smile at Sara's words, she can be quite strict sometimes
"No more"
*******
We stand in front of the medical store, while I buy the medicines. Sara and Abby were busy munching on their chicken rolls. I refused to eat anything, I generally have my dinner with Summer and it was close to 7:00 now
Mom should be arriving from her work soon, it took a lot of urging from my side, asking her to get back to work. I wanted her to be occupied not dwell on things and go into a trance.
I pay the bill using the credit card Summer had given me, it held all the funds. After paying the bill, I grab the medicines and turn around to find a nervous looking Sara and a hesitant Abby.
They keep nudging each other and their expressions were rather shy..
"Spit it out" I walk towards them and fold my hands against my chest.
They gulp and look away, their half eaten chicken rolls were clutched tightly in their hands.
"We just wanted to know.." Sara meekly whispers.
I raise my brow at her
"Know what?" I look at Abby and she looked extremely uncomfortable.
"You know..how Mr.Rodriguez looks..are all those rumours true? Him looking so godly and all..?" Sara's voice trials away I have never seen her talk about topics like these..about 'men' and their looks
I try to hide my smile, despite being strong and stiff she still was a girl at the end of the day, she of course would be curious about 'men' and their looks.
"He is a good looking man." I silently whisper, almost like I didn't want to say that loud, it would mean that I was accepting that he looked great.
I clear my throat and look at them, they both were blushing now and their eyes twinkled with mirth.
"Oh, so the rumours are true.." they suggestively wiggle their eyebrows. I scoff at that.
"Oh trust me that's the only thing good about Terence—
"Oh so it it Terence now"
I look away, I'm sure my face was red and burning.
"Anyway, let's not talk about it"
"We have to talk about it! You are allowed to talk about your soon to be husband's godly looks, temporary though" I give her a stink eye
"He is a black stain in my life, everything about him disgusts me, which includes his looks."
"We Will see about that Nevaeh, will see about that.."
They sounded utterly confident while I take them to be delusional.
Oh yes, will see about that.
************
What do you think? Is Nevaeh impulsive or a thinker? Childish or mature?
Don't forget to vote and let me know about your thoughts.