** Warning: this chapter mentions themes such as abuse and death, though it's not overly graphic. None of these themes are condoned or glorified by me. If you are sensitive to these topics, please read with caution. **
⊰ T W E N T Y ⊱
SOMETHING IN THE AIR
"I killed people. A lot of them."
His words rung in my ears, filling me with dread. I knew he must've done something to be guilty enough for the curse, but the last thing I expected was for him to be a full-blown killer.
There has to be an explanation.
"H-how many? Why?" My voice was barely above a whisper.
I could see Jimin looking at me, but the darkness of the room made it impossible to read him. Do I even want to know the answer?
"Why are you suddenly so curious about my past? Out of all the things you've asked me, this is one you never really brought up before," he commented, avoiding my questions.
I swallowed. "I can't explain it. It just became the only thing I could think about, so I couldn't resist asking you."
"I see," he said, closing his eyes. I waited, hoping he wouldn't avoid answering like he did so often before. "If I tell you, it's only fair that you tell me your story, too." His eyes opened, capturing mine.
"Okay."
Despite how much I didn't want to talk about my past, I agreed to his terms. I wanted to learn more about Jimin, to get a glimpse of the person he was before the curse changed him. If he would share this part of himself with me, then I would share a part of me with him, too.
"I guess I'll start by telling you that I was an orphan." He turned onto his back so he was no longer facing me. He stared at the ceiling and sighed. "I don't remember who my parents are or what happened to them. All I remember is growing up in this dirty orphanage that had terrible people running it. I never knew anything different, so I thought the way they treated us was normal. A slap across the cheek for not answering them correctly. A punch or kick to the gut for pissing them off. Two days with no food for breaking a rule. I found a new bruise on my body almost every day... I had to learn to tune out the sound of kids crying in the beds next to me every night."
"How did they get away with that? Wouldn't someone looking to adopt see what was going on and report it?" I cut in, unable to wrap my head around something so terrible going on without consequences.
"It was rare for any families to come looking for a child to take home, since nobody in the area could afford another mouth to feed. And if they did, the staff would just show them a few of the kids that didn't have any visible signs of abuse," Jimin answered. I stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.
"One day, a boy a little older than me named Jack joined the orphanage. He helped me realize that what was happening wasn't normal. He had lived with his parents up until the age of fourteen, and he knew that we were being abused. The more he helped me understand what was happening, the more my anger grew. I had always known something was off, but I never grasped how bad it was until then. I was one of the oldest kids there, and I felt like it was my responsibility to do something to help them.
"I talked to Jack about how I was feeling, and he eventually agreed to help me come up with a plan. He told me what we needed to do to stop them. I did everything he asked me to, I trusted him. But I underestimated how much damage the fire would cause." He paused, and I could see him squeeze his eyes shut as if he was trying to get an image out of his head. "He told me it would just be a distraction so we could help get all the kids out of there, but it was more than that. While I was trying to lead the kids out of the building, I saw Jack locking doors. He had stolen a key and he was trapping the adults in their rooms while they were still sleeping. I asked what he was doing, and he told me he was repeating what he'd done to his parents." His voice was strained, as if the memory of that night was digging its filthy black claws into his neck. "He'd planned for the fire to kill them all along, and he used me to do it."
I was ready to respond, to try to comfort him, but he wasn't finished.
"I could have saved them, I could have unlocked the door and given them a chance to escape, but I didn't. I knew they would die, and I chose to leave them there. All thirteen of them. They may have mistreated me, but I let them die. I'm worse than they ever were," his voice cracked, and my chest ached. It was the most feeling I'd ever seen from him, and I hated that all of it was guilt, regret, pain.
"Jimin," I sat up, reaching out to him. He glanced over, but before I could touch him, he was getting out of the bed.
"Don't," he said firmly before walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him.
I shoved the blankets off of me and followed after him. After closing the door behind me, I looked to the right to find him retreating down the hallway.
I knew I couldn't shout after him and risk waking someone up, so I jogged to catch up to him. As I got close, my hand reached out to grab his shoulder. He stopped in his tracks. I went to stand in front of him, meeting his haunted eyes.
I wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault. That he was tricked by Jack. That they were terrible people and they had it coming. But I knew none of those things were entirely true, and I knew they weren't going to help him feel any better. Jimin didn't care about any of that. He only cared that he had played a part in killing people. So instead of saying any of that, I stepped forward and hugged him tightly.
He let out a shaky breath near my ear, then I felt his body melt into mine as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me further into to him. His naked skin was hot against mine, yet our physical proximity wasn't what made me feel so near to him. It was the invisible and undeniable connection between us that made me feel such a bond, and it continued to grow stronger the more we let each other in. Deep down I knew that no matter how terrified I was, no matter how nervous it made me, there would be no stopping it.
"You've paid for your mistakes with this curse. Now you deserve to be free and start over," I whispered, my eyes closed. I heard him sigh gently, almost in relief.
"Katherine."
I pulled away from the hug so I could look into his eyes. He took the opportunity to bring his hands up to either side of my face. He started threading his fingers through the hair at the nape of my neck, his thumbs caressing the spot below my ears. My eyes fluttered from the bliss that washed over me, and I could hardly focus on what he said next.
"What is it about you?" he mumbled quietly, his head tilting to the side as he drank in every detail of my face. Instead of feeling self-conscious under his gaze, I forgot about myself completely and all thoughts were of him.
Lightning flashed outside the window and lit up Jimin's face for a second, reminding me of the raging weather that was going on outside. The wildness of the storm mirrored the flurry of emotions in my heart, yet it contrasted against the warmth Jimin was giving me in the same moment.
"What do you mean?" I asked softly, not wanting to break whatever was between us.
"I can't figure out what it is about you that makes me feel this way." His whispered words sent a shudder down my spine. Jimin leaned forward until our foreheads met. His breath spread across my face and all I could do was stare at his plump, parted lips. I wanted him to kiss me. I needed him to kiss me.
"How do I make you feel?" I looked at him, breathless. His eyes fell to my own lips, and I could feel my body temperature rising, my heart racing at the anticipation of his kiss.
But it never came.
Jimin closed his eyes then slowly pulled away, breaking apart the magnets that held us together. He dropped his hands away from me, leaving ice in their absence.
"Thanks for comforting me," he muttered the words, strain is his voice. Then he walked past and disappeared around the corner that led to the stairs. What just happened?
I wanted to follow him, but I knew he needed to be alone for a while. Plus, the stubborn part of me was embarrassed that he chose not to kiss me. With that in mind, I forced myself to return to our room, where I got in bed and tried to get some sleep.
Needless to say, I didn't get any. My thoughts were filled with images of a burning building, of fragile children running out of it, with no adults in sight. I could see a younger, weaker version of Jimin, relieved to have saved the kids, yet weighed down by the shadow of guilt that hung over him like a black cloud.
My heart stung as I thought about Jimin growing up in such a horrible environment, watching his friends be so mistreated while also getting abused himself. I imagined how terrible he must've felt, getting tricked by a friend, then making the decision to let people die. All while he was a young boy.
About an hour passed before I heard the door opening. I shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I couldn't face him yet, not after our almost-kiss. I still didn't know what to think about that. The way he held me and the look he gave me led me to believe that he wanted to kiss me, but he didn't. So what stopped him? Was he not interested in me romantically? He did tell me earlier that night that he cared about me, but maybe it was only platonic.
He kept me second guessing all the time, and it was going to drive me crazy some day. I never knew for sure if my feelings were real, or if his were either, if he even did feel for me that way.
I listened as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. I could hear his feet as he walked over to his bed, then the rustling of the sheets as he got under them. Even with my eyes shut, I could still sense the tension between us, making it difficult to keep my breathing calm.
"Goodnight, kitten." His voice surprised me. How does he know I'm awake?
"How'd you know?" I asked quietly, turning on my side to face him. He didn't look at me, just stared at the ceiling with his arm draped across his forehead.
"I still have the ability to hear really well. You're breathing too fast to be sleeping."
"I can't sleep, not after what you told me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to bother you that much. I shouldn't have even told you." Regret saturated his tone.
I shook my head. "I wanted to know. And you don't have to be sorry. I just feel bad that you—"
"It's okay," he cut in before sighing. "Let's just go to sleep."
"...Okay."
* * *
Morning eventually came after what felt like an eternity. I'd drifted off a few minutes here and there, but otherwise I was stuck listening to the rain until the first rays of daylight seeped through the window. I was the first to get up, moving toward the glass to see how many clouds remained in the sky. It was still overcast, but there was only a light drizzle. We could leave without a problem, but the storm could return if we didn't move fast.
"Guys, wake up. We should get going."
The typical groaning occurred before any of them responded.
"How's the weather?" Yoongi asked groggily, squinting at me. His hair was messy and I chuckled at the sight.
"It's pretty calm right now. Which is why we should hurry up and leave, in case the storm comes back." He nodded at my explanation, then threw the blankets off of him, but also off of Jimin.
"Hey!" Jimin yelled out in annoyance. He roughly grabbed the blankets and yanked them back all the way over his head. I snickered.
"Jimin, get up." I walked over to his side of the bed and tugged on the blanket. He lowered it just enough to reveal his eyes and nose.
"No." Then he pulled it up over him again. I whacked the side of his head and he grunted. "Fine, I'm up."
Satisfied, I made my way to Taehyung. I gently shook his shoulder, and his eyes slowly opened. He sat up, running a hand through his hair.
"Morning Kat." He smiled lightly.
I smiled back. "Good morning. We're headed out soon, alright?"
He nodded.
"Why do you wake him up so gently? Why did I get hit in the head?" Jimin complained, crossing his arms at me. My eyes drifted to his bare chest, then to his biceps. I quickly looked back up, hoping he didn't notice where my attention had been.
"No reason." I shrugged, playing innocent. He narrowed his eyes at me, but his lips tilted up in a smirk.
I was relieved things weren't as tense as they'd been last night. So much had happened between us in that short time, and I was still unsure what to think about any of it. What the hell was in the air last night?
The four of us quickly woke up the rest of the pirates, and soon, we were back on the ship and headed to the next destination. We followed Jimin's lead, though he hadn't mentioned who was next. It didn't really matter to me, as long as we got there swiftly. Yoongi had been sending me looks all day, and I was afraid to talk to him. After what happened with Jimin, I felt even more conflicted than I had before, and I dreaded admitting that to him.
The sun was just beginning to set when I made my way to the bow of the ship. A figure stood leaning against the railing, and I joined them.
"Are you happy now that you got to visit that restaurant?" I asked, looking at the profile of Jin's face. A small smile crossed his lips as he continued to stare out at the water.
"It was great. I didn't really go for myself though," he said, glancing at me.
My brows pulled together. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I was excited to go there, but the main reason was for you guys. I feel bad that I can't really make decent food for all of you. We get stuck with such bland meals on the ship, so I really wanted you guys to enjoy a nice meal for once," he explained.
I grinned. "Aww, Jin! That's really sweet of you. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about it earlier. I really did enjoy it, and it means a lot that you actually were thinking of us. Thank you." I wrapped my arms around his waist, giving him a side hug. He brought his arm around my shoulder.
"You don't need to thank me," he chirped happily, clearly satisfied that I'd thanked him. I smiled, appreciating how sweet he was. I'd always admired how caring of a person he was when it came to our little family.
"Speaking of which, I should probably go prepare dinner," he said. I nodded and let go, watching him walk away.
Then my eyes suddenly found Yoongi's, seeing that he was making his way towards me.
Shoot, shoot, shoot. What do I do? Hide? No, there's nowhere to hide and he already sees me. Think, Katherine, think. I can run, but then he'd either chase after me or catch me. I turned around, leaning over the edge and peering at the water below. Abandon ship. Abandon ship or abandon hope.
But before I could carry out my master plan of escape, he had already reached me.
"Kat."
Shit.
• • •
Author's Note:
Hope you all enjoyed this one! Sorry for a longer wait than usual, I just had a busy week. And I may have dropped my phone while riding a roller coaster, so that was a whole thing. I had to go a week with no phone, which was fine except that it made it harder to write. But I finally got it done! *victory dance*
What are your thoughts on Jimin's past?
What did you think of the moment between Jimin and Kat?
What do you want Kat to say to Yoongi when they talk in the next chapter?
And what the hell was in the air that night? ;D
Don't forget to vote, if you want to show me that you're enjoying this story! It really means a lot to me and it encourages me to keep writing (:
Love you all <3
March 28, 2019