G E N E S I S
"Serena come here!" I yell at my dog. I decided to take her for a walk this morning before I end up fighting my brother. It's actually a pretty cold day. My phone starts ringing and I answer without looking who is it. "Hello."
"I didn't even know you had a dog." I hear Kyle's voice.
"How do you know?" I ask confused while looking all around me trying to see where he is. Once I spot him I smile and cut the call while walking towards him. "What are you doing here?" I say as I sit beside him on the bench.
"My morning routine." He shrugs. "You?"
"Not trying to whoop my brother's ass," I reply sighing. "Serena!" I call my dog again before she actually goes missing.
"Why did you call her like that?" He questions me while petting her.
"My mum called her like that because of her favorite tennis player," I explain and he laughs.
"Serena Williams?"
"Yeah," I reply joining his laugh. "Anyways I'm glad that you're here," I admit.
"Yes? Why is that?" He frowns.
"I don't like being alone." I express. "I'm not good on my own. My head gets so loud. And shit doesn't make... Nothing syncs up. I start thinking about my thinking, and getting lost in the details of nothing." I sigh. "Nothing can pull me out of it." I finish.
"I feel like you're always trying to hide inside walls, like if you are scared to face life." He declares. "And you know what?" He asks and I deny in response. "Sometimes I do think it would be easier for me to put up walls and hide, but in the end, I think it's better to feel everything."
"Well, it's easier for you, coming for a popular guy it's always easy to talk about this kind of stuff. But not for me, I've spent my whole life inside those walls and it's not like I can change tomorrow." I reply and he nods.
"That I am popular doesn't mean that I am having a good time." He mentions. "And please, don't ever try to judge me, you don't know I've been through."
"I know you have been through things Kyle, we all have, but at different levels," I say. "What I mean is that like for example if something happens to you everyone at school will have your back," I respond.
"That doesn't mean everyone cares Genesis. Those people even pretend to care so they can be around you to use you for their own sake." He explains and suspire.
"Then, let go of people who bring you down and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you," I remark getting up. "It is nice talking to you but I need to head home," I say.
"Let me walk with you." He lays out while getting up too and I nod. "Why do you never want to finish our conversations?"
"Because we always talk about the same and I feel like we never get anywhere with this kind of topic."
"Then just stop being sad. " He remarks. "People are really mean, but we're so much meaner to ourselves." He smiles while placing his arm around me.
"You got a point there," I admit and he chuckles.
The rest of the walk was just talking about trivial things. Once we arrived I let him go inside with me, at this moment, I couldn't care less about Grayson's opinion. "Need help?" He asks while pointing at the food I'm taking out of the fridge.
"No, actually I'm making vegan hamburgers but if you want I can make you meat ones," I explain.
"No, it's good, I'll have the vegans but let me help you." He says and since I'm tired to fight I just nod.
"Fine, wash the vegetables annoying," I reply and he chuckles.
"It's nice to let someone help you."
"Does that have a double meaning?" I ask confused.
"Yes." He shrugs and before I could say anything his phone starts ringing. "Gotta take this." He says walking away.
After a few minutes, I hear footsteps coming in and I turn around thinking it's Kyle but for my surprise it's Devin. "The fuck?" I ask.
"I'm happy to see you too." He sarcastically says. "What are you cooking?"
"Nothing that you're going to eat," I respond harshly.
"Still mad I see." He mumbles.
I drop the food and face him. "Is that I just never got the part where you are more friends with my brother than me?" I mention. "Care to explain."
"What, did you just realize that we haven't been friends for a while?" He rhetorically asks. "I don't know shit about you, you don't tell me shit, you don't know shit about me, because you just don't care."
"Oh please don't you try to tell me what I care or who I care for," I reply as our tones get loud.
"Clearly not about me." He mutters.
"Don't you dare to say that when I'm always the one running after you, calling and messaging you trying to know what are you doing or how are you doing!" I spat. "You have zero feelings!"
"Oh, I'm sorry that I have a life! Not everything revolves around you, Genesis." He yells and that hurt me.
"You know what, fuck you," I reply with tears filling my eyes. I notice at the door a really skeptical Kyle and Grayson with both eyes open. "Do you want to popcorn?" I spat while passing through them to go to my room.
"Genesis!" I hear Devin's voice behind me.
"Fuck off here I said," I reply not even looking at him.
"I'm sorry." He says before I slam the door on his face. "You, especially and only you, knows there is nothing I hate more than pushing you away with my fucked up attitude!" He keeps yelling but there is no way that I'm going to forgive him, I might do later but I'll never forget.
I hear a conversation going on at my door and some steps walking away followed by a soft knock. "It's Kyle, can I go in?" He questions me.
I think about it but he had nothing to do with the whole drama queen I and Devin are. I slowly get up and unlock the door, I throw myself on the bed again not wanting him to see me cry. I feel his weight taking a seat on the bed.
"I'm not gonna ask you if you're okay because I know you are not but if you want t talk about it I'm all ears." He lays out and I sigh getting up.
"I think I just lost my best friend," I state and he hugs me. I cry on his shirt while he rubs my back.
"You are going to be fine, eventually." He mumbles.
"I don't think so," I reply sobbing.
"Letting go, even if it hurts, doesn't mean you have to let go of everything. You just have to let go of the person and your feelings for them, but the memories will always be there whether it's good or bad. Because every time you remember those memories, it will always put a smile into your heart. And be glad that once in your life this person made you happy and put colors into your life even if it was just for a while." He explains and I nod.
"Things had to be said," I say.
"I agree, but not in that way." He replies.
"There is no other way with a scorpio." I try to joke and he chuckles softly.
"Do you like the whole zodiac thing?" He asks with a curious tone.
"I do," I admit.
"They always say that girls crazy about signs are the craziest ones." He jokes.
"Yeah." I agree. "On the bed!" I wink and he almost chokes. It's amazing how he can change my whole mood in minutes. "Wait, has Grayson spoken to you?" I ask remembering my brother's existence.
"I ignored him, to be honest, I'll probably walk downstairs and he whoops my ass." He replies and I chuckle.
"Nah he won't, he owns me," I say getting up from the bed.
"You should talk to him." He speaks and I frown.
"Grayson?" I ask confused.
"No, Devin." He responds while getting up too. "Do you want me to brig him?" He questions me once he is standing in front of me.
"I don't know," I reply while looking down at my hands as I play with them nervously.
"You're gonna be fine." He replies lifting my head up. "Alright?" I nod. He kisses my head and leaves my room.
A few minutes later I see Devin's figure leaned on the door's frame. "What are you thinking?" He mutters softly.
"I'm just wishing you would tell me you're sorry and you know you made a big mistake," I confess.
"I'm sorry, I swear I am Genesis." He sighs. "You damn well know that I say bad things when I get mad, things that I shouldn't."
"I know," I admit. "How did we let us get here?" I say looking at his eyes. "You're supposed to save me from me."
"I failed you." He acknowledges.
"With all that has happened, I think that we both know the way that the story ends," I mention.
"So this is all?" He questions me disappointed.
"I'm sorry, I'm tired of feeling used and all you put me through." I express.
"I can change. I say I'm sorry." He sighs getting annoyed. "If a small miss-understanding can ruin our friendship, it wasn't real, to begin with." He replies and I laugh sarcastically.
"You've got to be kidding me!"
"I said I was sorry and willing to change, what is it that you want?" He spats.
"I hate how you act like I'm asking for so much when all I want is for you to show you care about me," I say back.
"I'm gonna change Genesis, just tell me where I went so wrong! Help me out cause I'm kinda lost here!" He explains.
"Please Devin, just drop it. I'd like you to leave." I utter. He nods confused and walks away from my room. I follow him downstairs where Grayson and Kyle are looking at each other awkwardly. "I want you to leave my house, Devin." I insist and he looks at me skeptically.
I escort him to the door, open it and look at him. "I know you want to tell me something before I go, spit it."
"To answer to your question. I knew we had a beautiful friendship when I realized I would move mountains for you and I knew it was unreciprocated when I found out you wouldn't even move the curtains to look at me." I confess referring to the proximity of his house to mine.
"I don't think that was our issue." He replies. "I think, we both moved on from each other's, you got yourself new friends and a boyfriend and I did the same."
"Only that you decided to hurt me, I didn't do that to you." I fight.
"I was in love with you Genesis, I had no other way but to push you away before I hurt myself in here!" He yells and I froze. "But, it's all good, I hope you're happy loving someone else even though you barely love yourself." He lays out before walking away from my house, and maybe my life.