Song: Meet Me on the Battlefield by SVRCINA
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My memories were in shambles the moment I opened my eyes. It was like confusion and pain attacked me all at once, and my body seemed to groan in pain when I quickly sat up, finding myself in a hospital bed surrounded in a room painted light blue. To my left, there's a window that reveals the city below me.
I see Colton, who scrambles up from the place in his chair and quickly by my side. "Take it easy, there." He says, laying a gentle hand on my shoulder and pushing me back down. I cringe when I see IVs sticking out of my hands, yet I do what he says.
He looks tired, his dark brown hair is messy and sticking up from his running his hands through it constantly, I'm assuming. He's dressed in black sweat pants and a simple white shirt that reveals his scars and parts of his tattoos.
After I get over the initial shock of my surroundings, I feel slightly nauseated and drowsy. "What happened exactly?" I ask.
I remember what happened, I just needed some confirmation that is was real. That several masked men did in fact break into my apartment and did in fact hold me at gunpoint and beat me. I shudder when I remember the intense pain the moment the blades of their knives sunk deep into my flesh, scraping bone.
"You were attacked." Colton replies, his face emotionless.
Ah, so my memories were indeed legit. How unfortunate.
"These men are connected to you, aren't they, Colton?" I ask.
"Why do you think that?"
"I figured they have something to do with you because, well, when they were beating me senseless they said 'This will teach the bastard not to mess with us'." I reply.
Colton sighs deeply, running a hand through his hair for what must be the millionth time today. I feel scared. I won't tell him how I feel because I don't want to add more stress to him but....I can't help but feel scared.
These men - they were so dangerous, so strong. They were clothed in all black, even their faces were concealed besides their eyes. Between their eyes they both had a distinct, red tattoo in the shape of an upside down cross.
But I feel scared because what if this happens again? What if this happens again and I don't wake up like I did this time?
"Colton, will this happen again?" I ask. This time, I don't even try to hide the fear or worry on my face.
His eyes meet mine, they're full of emotions I struggle to identify. They're a dark blue and they seem to shimmer.
"Colton?"
"I don't know, Addison. I don't know. But what I do know is that I can't keep doing this. I can't keep putting you in harm's way because of my lifestyle." He says. As attached as I have become to Colton, I don't blame him for thinking that. But he would be something that would be hard for me to let go.
Hell, I don't want to let go of him. I know he's dangerous, but I refuse to be just another person who has turned his back on him.
"That's why I've.....I've decided to leave the gang behind," He adds, stunning me, "For the safety of us both."
This could be a step in the right direction for Colton. This could be the decision that brings him to the brink of redemption. This could ensure a brighter future for him.
And maybe he could finally find the compassion he so desperately needs.
Without thinking, I reach over and cup his hand with mine. He doesn't jerk away, instead, he seems to like it because his cheeks turned a faint shade of pink and he shyly turns his eyes to the floor.
It still surprises me that someone so tough at him can blush, and I know I've said this before, but I find it cute.
"Colton, listen. I know it may be hard to leave it all behind, but it will truly be for the best. Look at me." I say, feeling my inner motherly instincts creeping forth.
He slowly lifts his head, looking me in the eyes. This time, they look almost sad. Almost.
"I know you are hurting, Colton. I know people have done unspeakable things to you that have changed you. I know you believe that your gang helped you in many ways when you had nowhere to go. But they are going to drive you farther down the wrong path, and I fear that....I fear that eventually you'll venture so far down that treacherous road that you won't ever return. Your decision will be good for you, Colton. You have to understand that."
He slowly nods, and fists the blankets on the hospital bed with one hand. His gaze is intense, so intense I feel tempted to look away. He just looks so vulnerable at the moment that I'm captivated.
Then he shrinks away, the warmth of his hand leaving mine. "Get some rest, Addison. You need it, I can see it in your eyes."
I watch as he sinks back down into the chair across from me. He props his elbow up on the arms of the chair and rests his head in his open palm.
I didn't realize how tired I really was. Being drugged always makes me feel sleepy, and it's a feeling I don't really favor.
But I find myself listening to Colton's words and so I just that.
I get some rest under the protective gaze from Colton.
* * *
I dreamed of dark things. Evil things. Every time I closed my eyes I could see them. The way their knives glinted in the night. And the way they held me at gunpoint. Only, every time they would pull the trigger, I would hear the loud bang in my ears before jolting awake.
Colton was still sitting in the chair, flipping through a magazine he probably had no interest in when I woke, and he looked down at me with a worried expression from across the room.
"Just a nightmare." I say, brushing it off. I was used to nightmares, they were common in someone's life who has been traumatized to an extent.
Colton didn't make an effort to move, he just sat there, gazing at me with a questioning look.
"It's alright, I get those too," His sudden honest vulnerability surprised me, but what surprised me even more was when he got up and approached me, because his features looked almost....kind. Like a genuine kindness, not the forced way I've felt from him before. "I know you dreamed of your attackers."
My eyes widened at his words, and I quickly brushed away the pang of embarrassment when I realized I've must've murmured in my sleep.
"You look exhausted, Addison. Try to go back to sleep and rest assured that you are safe, and that I will not leave you." He says softly. His hand looked like it was about to reach out and touch mine, before he thought better of it and brought it back to his side.
When he noticed that I had saw that, he quickly scampered back to his place in the chair across from me.
I fell asleep hiding my smile, knowing that I wasn't the only one developing feelings.
And as I slept, I dreamed of something much different this time. For once, it wasn't a dark memory replaying in my head, but a bright one. A sense of belonging flooded me as I dreamed that someone was cradling my hand in their hand, gently running their thumb across my knuckles briefly.
What I didn't know was that it wasn't a dream.
It wasn't a dream at all.
* * *
Being discharged from the hospital felt like a relief. I wasn't exactly prepared for the hefty medical bill that would soon follow, but I have saved quite a bit of money, and I will continue to save until I can pay off my debts.
It's put a lot of stress on my shoulders, and the fact that I'm living in fear now makes it even worse. I don't know who those people were exactly, and I don't really want to find out.
Now that those criminals know my location, Colton has convinced me to move into an apartment closer to where he lives so he can keep a better eye out on things if anything fishy goes on.
He also has assured me that he will take care of the problem. He told me that with such deadly intent in his eyes that I had to resist the urge to flee.
Sometimes Colton scares me.
Sometimes I see my past in his eyes, and it scares me.
But then I see the way he desperately clings to change. I feel the promise of better days are the only thing that gets him through life, one step at a time.
I've noticed I've focused all my attention on Colton recently, in order to forget about my own past, my own struggles, and my own ordeals. It's just that it's so much easier to push those dark things away when there's someone else in my life worth focusing about.
Work helps me keep my mind off of things, too. Of course, I had to take a few weeks off of work to give myself some time to heal from the stabbing. When I informed Dagger, he was quick to pour out his worry, his need to protect.
He understood my time of absence at the little club, and has assured me to take all the time off I need. Despite my protests, he has decided to pay me, even when I haven't been to work in weeks.
I've learned to hold fast to the couple people close to me, because they're all I got, and I couldn't be more thankful for them, even if one of them happens to turn into an unpredictable, nearly emotionless predator from time to time.
They say hard times in life prepares you, that it makes you stronger and more ready to be prepared to easily catch whatever else the world may throw at you.
But I was certain that nothing could ever prepare me for what was still to come.
And as I fall asleep that night, curled up on a cheap mattress, I hear the whispering of a coming storm through my windows.
But this storm will not bring rain.
It will bring violence.