That party was more than eventful, to say the least, and apparently I'm not the only one who thought so.
We were all at Sara's house, discussing the events of last night, over some breakfast.
After Max and Danny dropped all us girls off last night, we thought that we'd talk and all about the night. However, then we took our heels and make off and then realised that we were completely knackered from the night.
Some how we all managed to get our make up off, change out of our clothes and into pyjamas, which was a struggle in itself.
I don't even know how I did it, but I managed to brush my teeth before bed, which I consider to be some kind of miracle in all honesty.
Clearly, even tired, I'm still serious about my oral hygiene.
As soon as our heads hit the pillow, we all pretty much fell asleep straight away - or at least I know I didn't. It was lights out straight away.
The next morning, we thought it would better to grab some breakfast first and whilst doing that, we could talk about the party. I was definitely starving and was all for that idea.
After waking up, my mind was in a bit of a mess. I couldn't help but think about what almost happened at the party.
It didn't really hit me last night, but now that I've thought about it, and actually processed it all, I realise it could've been bad, or worse had I not been sober.
I was really thankful for Liam last night, for coming into the room and helping me. He definitely made sure that things didn't get worse and for that I'll always be thankfully.
Although, now that I think about it, I didn't really see Liam or Julie a lot during the start of the night, but I have an inkling that something happened between them.
***
"I'm serious, Rena. I would've kicked the living shit out of him." Sara said, very angrily.
I sighed as she said those words, again.
Of course I loved her for it, but she had said this for about the sixth time and in all honesty, I really hated thinking about it all.
"Can we not bring this up again, please? Besides, I punched him pretty good," I replied.
It had only happen last night and I still wasn't over it. I couldn't pretend it was nothing but then I also didn't know how to think about all either.
"Flo, I see you got yourself a nice hickey there?" Mel said, looking at her with a smirk.
I smiled at her appreciatively, happy that she had changed the topic of conversation - even if it wasn't very swift.
"No, I don't!? Fuck, I told him not to!" Flo quickly said in a panic, making us all laugh.
"Wow, okay, I was kidding. But clearly you did get some action," Mel clapped her hands excitedly.
Whilst we all laughed hysterically, Flo was glaring at Mel, no doubt plotting her murder in her mind.
"Shut up," Flo snapped at all of us, even though that just seemed to fuel our laughter even more.
She then sighed. "Max is a clingy drunk sometimes. I told the idiot I wanted to pee, and he says 'me too' and comes with me. I had to push him out the bathroom."
"It's not funny," Flo told us, when we didn't stop laughing. "He sat outside the door until I was done. I tripped over him, walking out."
"Drunk Max is hilarious," I commented, having seen his inebriated actions before.
"No, he isn't," Flo retorted.
She then buried her head in her hands. "Can we please talk about someone else?" Flo asked.
Before anyone else could say anything, she spoke up herself. "Oh, did you see Melissa Connors throwing a drink at Logan?"
"No, I didn't. But I did see Rena grinding on Holden," Sara says proudly.
Dammit.
My eyes widened considerably, when everyone's heads instantly snapped towards me.
"I was not grinding on him, it-...I was just dancing with him," I told the girls, trying to sound as innocent as I could.
It didn't work.
Okay, so I know I was grinding on him, but it was the song's fault, seriously. Everyone has those songs, that kind of bring out the slutty side of you, I have mine too.
"Oh, you were so grinding on him, and judging by Holden's face, I'm pretty sure he was enjoying it. A lot," Sara grinned.
Ugh, I hate her.
"Oh, God. How am I going to even be able to look at Holden now? This is so awkward," I groaned, covering my face with my hands.
Of course when it was happening, I was aware of my actions. I just forgot the next day and the days after that, I'll have to bare the consequences of those actions.
I hope he forgets about it. Or at least never brings it up ever.
Suddenly, I feel someone stroke my hair, "Oh my baby's growing up," Sara cooed.
I smacked her hand away, glaring at her, whilst she just look at me with that smug face of hers.
"Let's talk about something else now," I told them all.
I really couldn't hear anymore about my dancing with Holden. It's awkward and weird as it is, I don't need a replay in my mind.
"So, Julie, how was your night? Did you have fun?" Mel asked her.
She smiled. "It was good. I had fun."
"I barely saw you during the night, who were you with?" Flo questioned her.
"I was talking to Liam," she then answered shyly, her face had darkened to a deep shade of red at this point.
Well, that was expected.
"Oh really, and what did you guys talk about?" Flo asked her, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
I need new friends.
"We just got to know each other a little and danced a little," Julie responded, wringing her hands in her lap.
She clearly wasn't used to intrusive questions being asked. We could be a nosy bunch when we wanted to - I wasn't going to be in this situation, especially not where Liam was concerned.
"I see," Sara said, her tone hinting towards something.
I can't even be mad, she doesn't know. In fact no one knows about my feelings, I don't even think I know about them clearly.
Besides, I had made this choice to help them, and I had to see it through.
I had the mindset that maybe this would help me get over him. I just hoped it would work.
"Sara, leave the poor girl alone," Mel said and then pulled at her arm. "Come, I'm hungry, let's get some more food," she added, as we hadn't just eaten.
"Fine. Let's go," Sara replied, clearly not happy about having to get up again.
"I need food too," Flo said and got up from her seat too. She then looked towards Julie and I. "Are you guys coming?"
We both shook our heads at her question and Flo nodded, leaving the room.
As soon as the door closed, Julie placed her hand over mine.
"Rena, are you sure you're okay, after what happened with that guy?" She asked me.
Okay, I was not expecting her to ask that.
I actually had to take a moment to process what she asked me.
"I'm sorry, I know you don't want to talk about it. It's fine, forget I asked, I'm an idiot, let's talk about something else. Sorry," she rambled on.
"Julie, it's okay," I told her. "Also, what did we say about you always saying sorry?" I asked, playfully glaring at her.
She paused and then her eyes widened. "You said to stop," she replied in an apologetic tone. "But, um, are you okay?" She asked again.
I looked at her concerned face.
It was quite sweet how she was genuinely worried about me. I've only known this girl for a little amount of time and she's this concerned for me.
Again, I should hate her, be angry at her, envious of the fact that, the guy I love is interested in her.
But that's my problem, not hers. It's just something I have to deal with.
But I swear, in the next life, I better be rich or something, for doing what I'm doing.
I then realised I hadn't quite answered her question, and the longer I didn't, the more expression deepened into pure worry.
"Truthfully?" I asked and she nodded. "I don't know. In the moment, I was fighting against him. Not willing to be taken down so easily. Him even touching me, made my skin crawl. When I said I was fine at the party, I really was. But then after, thinking about it, it was scary."
"It's a horrible thing to do, drunk or not," Julie said.
"I agree. I'm just glad Liam was there to help me, before things got worse," I shudder at the thought of that guy touching me.
At this, Julie gave my hand a squeeze. "I'm glad you're okay," she said, with a heart-warming smile.
"Julie, can I ask you something?"
Screw it. I'm just gonna be straightforward.
"Yes?" She replied.
"What do you think of Liam?" I questioned her.
Seeing her face heat up, I kind of got my answer already. "I, um...I think...I don't know," she stuttered.
"If he asks you, will you go out with him?" I asked her.
Okay, so I'm being very direct right and intrusive, I know. But the way I figure it, the sooner this happens, the sooner my feelings stop, right?
"He, um, already did...at the party, he asked me if I'd go out with him," she said this so quietly, I almost didn't hear her.
Almost.
"He already asked?" I couldn't even hide the tone of surprise in my voice.
"Yeah," Julie responded.
"Oh wow. Okay. So, um, what did you say?" I asked her.
She shifted in her seat a little, playing with the hem of her pyjama top.
"I said maybe," Julie then said.
Before I could say anything in reply, she started talking again.
"I didn't know what to say," she then confessed. "At my old school, a guy like him wouldn't really notice me, let alone talk to me or ask me out. So when he did, I panicked and said maybe."
Julie then looked down, either feeling shy or maybe embarrassed, even though she had nothing to be embarrassed about.
"You know they're idiots for not noticing how pretty you are," I told her.
I mean, okay yeah, she's shy and quiet, but that's definitely not a flaw and I don't want her to think that it is.
"I'm not pretty," Julie shook her head. "No one at my old school thought so. You're kind to think otherwise but I know it's not true," she added.
When I saw her look down so dejectedly, I realised she needed a confidence boost more than a boyfriend.
"Okay, no. I'm not going to allow you do this," I said, which caused Julie to look up at me confused.
"You are beautiful, kind and caring. Anyone who doesn't think so is a moron, and that includes you," I told her and she looked at me as if I've just spoken in another language or just in gibberish. "Julie, you're wonderful, don't think otherwise."
"But-" She tried to intervene, but I wasn't having it.
"Not buts," I cut off her words. "If you weren't all those things and more, than I wouldn't be saying it. Even Liam sees it and he definitely is an idiot," I joked.
She then sighed. "He is so popular. He could have anyone, why does he want me?"
Wow, she really didn't think much of herself, did she? It genuinely seemed like she wanted an answer to this.
"Why would he not want you? Tell me, where is a better girl than you?" I asked her.
"What about you? You're even neighbours," Julie replied.
My eyes widened at this and I swear my heart stopped for a second.
Of course, I knew she didn't mean anything by her words and was probably just saying it in the moment, but damn.
I didn't really have a reply to this. What was I even meant to say to this?
Instead, I chose to ignore her question. You know, like a mature person.
"Julie, what is this really about?" I questioned her.
"I'm scared I'll get hurt," she replied meekly, looking down once again.
I look at her in confusion. "Hurt by who? Liam?"
Had she met Liam? And I mean the real Liam. If she'd seen him against a spider, then she wouldn't ever be worried about being hurt by him at all.
"Yes," She sighed. "Rena, look at him, he's good looking, he's popular, he could be with any girl," this she said confidently, great.
She then continued. "I'm a nobody. I always have been. I'm not the girl that turns heads when she walks in to the room. Rena, what if-...what if this is all prank? Or he realises I'm ordinary and leaves me. I'm scared," she finishes.
Her eyes looked a little raw and reddened, as if she wanted to cry and I couldn't help but feel bad for her.
"Oh, Julie." I called out sadly and scooted closer, taking her hand. "Look, I'm not really the 'pep talk' kind of person, but I'm going to give this a try and you're going to listen to me, without interrupting."
She nodded at my words and I smiled at her.
"I understand everything you said, I really do, trust me. I'm definitely not that girl that turns heads when she walks into a room either..." I began to say.
"No, you're-" Julie started to say something, which was mostly likely her disagreeing with what I said, but I shushed her.
"No interrupting," I reminded her and she nodded once again, closing her mouth.
Taking a deep breath, I began again. "I'm not that girl. Life isn't a bloody One Direction song, where you would turn heads when you walk through the door. And it doesn't matter, because eventually, one day, one head will turn your way and that will be enough, because the way they'll look at you, it'll be worth a lot more and than a hundred people looking your way."
"Liam seems to be already looking at you that way, and it's clear. You just need open your eyes and sure enough you'll see that too. Okay, yeah, Liam is good looking and popular, so what? I'll be the first to admit, I can be judgemental towards people like that, but I know that's wrong."
"I've known Liam since I was five. He's been my neighbour for that long, and we've gone to the same schools too," I give her hand a squeeze. "In all those years, he hasn't looked at a girl, like the way he looks at you."
I'm mostly breathless by the time I finish my weird 'Liam likes you' monologue.
Again, for doing this I deserve some kind of reward. Ideally in this life, because I'm impatient and I'd rather have it now, then wait for it in the next one.
"Really?" Julie looked at me, with a hopeful expression.
"Really, really. Trust me on that," I smiled back. "He's a good guy, someone you can trust. He has done things for me without me even realising it, at a time where I thought we had drifted apart. Things I would never even expect of him."
I give her hand a squeeze once more. "He won't hurt you. He's not that cruel to do all of this as a prank. He wouldn't..." my voice then trailed off.
"Wouldn't what?" Julie asked.
He wouldn't hurt you like he unintentionally hurt me, is that I was about to say.
"He just wouldn't," I sighed.
"I know you're scared of being hurt. It's a really shitty feeling to have your heartbroken, and it really does hurt like hell. But that isn't something that Liam would ever intentionally cause," I assured her. "In fact, I'm pretty sure, he would try anything to prevent hurting you."
I then placed my hands on her shoulders, making sure she was listening to me.
"You're not a nobody. You most definitely are a somebody. You are Juliet Morris, one of the most sweetest people I know. And I'm certain, to Liam, you are more than that," I gave her my best reassuring smile.
"I'm not going to predict the future. I don't know if you and Liam will end up together or for how long. But that doesn't mean you don't even try. Just give it a chance. Give him a chance. Whether it lasts a month, a year or forever," I told her and I felt a tug on my heart at that last word.
Forever.
"Don't hold back because you're afraid to get hurt," I told her.
By the end of it all, I felt like I was about to tear up, and so I looked away, my hands leaving her shoulders.
"Rena, have you had your heartbroken?" Julie asked.
My head snapped towards her instantly and I saw her face full of concern.
Shit. I didn't think I sounded so...hurt.
"What? Why?" I said, as I tried to brush off her concern, swallowing the lump in my throat, rapidly blinking away tears.
"No, it's just the way you talk. There seems to be some pain in your words, like you've gone through that kind of hurt and are speaking from experience," Julie then said.
I did not know she was that intuitive.
"I went through that pain. Yes," I told her honestly.
"What happened?" She asked, sounding shocked and worried.
"I held onto someone and ended up getting hurt," I admitted.
That's the bitter truth.
I was the one that held on, not him. Never him. He didn't know anything.
"I'm sorry," Julie said.
"Don't apologise, please," I told her.
She didn't even know what she was apologising for and I swear, I think it just made me feel worse that it was coming from her. Besides, it's not pity that I want.
I cleared my throat. "That's enough sappy talk for me," I laughed. "Just give him chance, Julie. He really isn't all that bad."
After a pause, I heard her reply. "Okay," she said in a small whisper.
"Okay?" I have to ask to confirm.
"Yes," she nodded. "After everything you said, I guess it's only fair I give him a chance and he's been nothing but kind to me," she smiled.
"Good. I'm glad, my speech had some effect," I joked.
Julie then looked at me, her green eyes looking bigger than before. "You'll be there, right? If I need you or things go bad?"
I put on my brave face. "Of course. Where else will I be? Remember I told you, I got you," I winked.
After my words, Julie pulled me into a tight hug. "Thank you, Rena. Despite whatever may happen, I'm glad I have you in my life."
I hugged her back. "Me too, Julie."
Sara's voice then pulled us back to reality and out of the sad sort of mood we found ourselves in.
"Bitches, I got you some food since you didn't come down," she said, and then sat down next to me. "So, what were you guys talking about?..."
He wasn't mine to give, but I still gave him away