29 - out of place -
—
Dohyeong's POV
"You're shivering."
I didn't say anything to him, just adjusting my head on his shoulder. He was right, I was quite cold, but on the other hand, he was quite warm. So, I didn't find myself to care much.
"I'm fine," I mumbled, listening to the soft sigh he let out.
"We can't both say that, Dohyeong," He said, the obvious attempt to lighten the conversation.
"You seem to have no trouble saying it," I pointed out, getting another soft laugh from him as I leaned back.
His arms came down from my sides and rested calmly on his lap as I fixed my dress, my own hands not acting so calm. I don't know what overcame me at that moment, but the interaction had more or less left my cheeks red from embarrassment.
He was staring at me with the same kind of emotion that I'd expected; no longer painful or straining, but with a sort of undone fire that I had expected from the exchange we'd just had.
"You teach me a lot more than I thought, you know," I said, finally getting the courage to look him in the eyes again. "You really do live up to your title,"
I could tell he was a little surprised. "Where's this coming from?"
I felt a little embarrassed as I looked away again, sheepishly rubbing the back of my neck. "It's- it's just everything you said just now. About telling people when something's wrong, about saying no to things you don't want to do. Thank you for being there to tell me things like that,"
He smiled. "Of course. That's what I'm here for,"
I replied with a small smile of my own, but as I was about to say something else, he slipped off his jacket and held it up to me.
"Wha-"
"I keep telling you, I'm here to help, so stop rejecting it. Try with all your might, but you're the one who comes first,"
"Yeah shouldn't have to be that way," I mumbled, looking away as I let him put the coat over my shoulders. I knew he heard me, but he didn't say anything.
I turned my head to him to argue with him again but seeing him in his plain oxford shirt as he stretched his arms had me at a loss for words. For some reason, I was really surprised. This was all having such a different effect on me ever since-
oh
Since Christmas.
I hid the side of face casually with my hand, pretending to fix the hair above my ear when I was really just hiding my flushed skin. It wasn't okay for me to start feeling this way, so I tried my best to just expel it while I could.
I wasn't even sure if I wanted to begin to have feelings for anyone else yet, anyway. Even though I understood Hyeokjae, it had still left my heart a little cracked. Besides, Taeyong wasn't the right one to take that out on.
"Hey, are you good?"
I brought my hand down a bit, enough to catch sight of his face as he spoke. One of his brows was ticked up slightly, and the look in his eyes gave me a sinking feeling of guilt.
why all of the sudden..?
"Yeah," I nodded quickly, going back to my hair to fix the actual mess I'd created. "I'm fine, just feeling a little weird all the sudden,"
It wasn't a lie, I was feeling a little weird. Aside from my heart pounding a mile a minute, ever since I'd taken a sip of the alcohol, my stomach had been a little weird.
Maybe I could just blame the weird feelings on that. That would make me feel a lot better and would make more sense.
I snuck another quick look at him. He wasn't looking at me anymore, his elbows resting on his legs as he stared ahead of us. I followed his sight to a group of people, one I didn't know, sitting around a table and laughing, drinks in hand.
I wonder why he's like that. But, I sensed that it might be a sensitive topic, so I never found the courage to ask.
My eyes trailed down to the cup sitting next to me, and the liquid sitting in it seems more daunting than it had a few minutes ago.
I picked it up and poured it out into the grass.
—
I went back into the party sometime later but was stopped almost as soon as I went in.
"Dohyeong, I've been looking everywhere for you! Where did you g-"
"I'm fine," I interrupted Aera's questioning. "I was just sitting outside, it's a little overwhelming in here is all."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, maybe you were right about just keeping this small. It's just- wait, Dohyeong, where did you get that jacket?"
She took a bit of the fabric laying on my shoulders in her hand, her brows furrowing. I began to answer casually, "Oh, it's-"
But I quickly stopped myself, my eyes flickering over to Taeyong, who looked just as surprised as I felt.
I couldn't even help it at that moment as I asked him, "Taeyong, why-"
Aera didn't say anything to me as I watched Taeyong's expression conflict. I knew she was probably confused, but I had told her about a guardian angel before, so I hoped that she could connect the dots on her own.
"I don't know," He sighed. "It shouldn't have been visible to anyone else."
I turned my attention back to Aera, who still seemed confused. "Dohyeong, what's going on?"
I didn't know how to reply to her, so I just slipped the jacket off my shoulders and handed it back to Taeyong.
I heard a small gasp as the jacket went from my hand to his, and Aera's lips were parted in surprise. I was a little lost as to her shocked expression, at least until she managed a few words out.
"The jacket- it's-" she stuttered, off her balance for the first time that I'd seen in a while.
"So it wasn't permanent," Taeyong assumed, putting it back on. "That's good, but that shouldn't have even happened in the first place."
"Do you think it means anything?" I asked him, making him pull his lips into a line.
"I don't know. Hopefully not," he admitted, not giving more than a small shrug. He seemed sincerely clueless.
"Dohyeong!" Aera hissed my name, obviously slightly irritated that I wasn't answering. "What's happening?"
I shook my head, not knowing how or even really wanting to try and explain. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."
She seemed genuinely disturbed by my answer. "What? Dohyeong, no- that jacket just disappeared, you're talking to what looks like air, and you tell me to just drop it?"
I took a peek down the hallway, making sure that no one had gotten curious and come down. We were still in the mudroom by the back of the house; which to be fair, was probably as private of a setting as we could go rather than upstairs. I just hoped that no one had heard what we were walking about, not that they would be able to make anything of it, anyway.
"For now, yes. Aera, it's not like you're the only one that's confused about this all. It's almost been a month, and I'm still trying to figure out everything myself."
Since there was still so much that I was unsure about, I didn't think I could answer her. I couldn't explain things to her if I didn't even know how to explain them to myself yet.
We were breaking the rules enough already, anyway.
"A month? A month since what?" She probed.
I just let out a sigh, shutting my eyes for a moment.
"You should tell her at least something," Taeyong said, coming a little closer and putting a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and turned my head to him, only confusing Aera more.
"It's not that I don't want to tell her anything, it's that I don't know how. I can't explain what's happening right now, and I don't want to create any more problems between you and whoever's above you." I said, watching his throat bob up and down before he looked away, dropping his hand.
"I guess we really do know nothing."
I pulled my lips into a line as I watched him. It really is a was a struggle, having him here and knowing that he was my guardian angel, but not knowing anything else. We didn't know why he was visible to me yet, he didn't have any idea what he was here for, and the position we were in relationship-wise was a little risky considering the traditional rules.
But then again, even the lines in our relationship were beginning to blur, so what could we really be sure of anymore?
"Aera," I trailed off, suddenly getting nervous because of her anxious expression. "I really do have a guardian angel, like I thought before. But I don't really know anything else about it, and that's all I feel confident enough in telling you,"
"But that doesn't make sense. If you have a guardian angel, you're not supposed to see them"
Even though I knew I couldn't answer her question, I was grateful that she was at least on her way to believing me. Not that she didn't have a reason not to anymore after what had just happened, though.
I just smiled, eyeing the ground as I nodded. "Yeah, I know. We're both still trying to figure everything out, too."
Her brows furrowed.
"You're both-? What? Does that mean you're able to talk to each other?"
"Like I said; I can't explain everything right now, okay?" I interrupted, stopping the words right in her throat. "Everything is just messed up. We're already breaking the rules by exchanging a brief greeting, so we don't even know how to go about anything else,"
"But it looks like you already are," She said, referring to the jacket that he'd lent me. I couldn't even hide the embarrassed tint on my cheeks at that point.
"It's- that's not what I meant," I said faintly, getting a small smile from her. "It's not like that. I mean, he's only my friend,"
"Whatever he is, I'm not even sure if I believe it yet. This is all just so weird, Dohyeong,"
I returned her smile as I watched her brows furrow. "I know, you don't have to believe it right now. But, please have faith in what I say sooner or later,"
She just let out a sheepish laugh. "Well, if you say it like that, I guess I really have no choice."
--
AN: this isn't the ending, but wouldn't it be so mean of me to have her be imagining Taeyong the whole time?
like her waking up from a dream and seeing an nct poster on her wall, then going to school with Aera and trying to forget what happened, even though it seemed so real. lolol how would y'all like it if become an angst writer instead of a fluff writer 👀