A/N Greetings my friends! I know I said I'd have this chapter for you last week, but sometimes things don't work out the way you planned. Anyway, thanks for all your reviews and I hope you enjoy.
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When they reached the family room Gibbs handed Tim off to Sarah. Signaling to the building blocks tucked away in the corner he said, "No reason why you can't play with Tim while we chat." Sarah smiled, crouched down to place Tim on the floor and reached for the blocks. Gibbs stoked the fire, adding a few more logs before gingerly sinking down on the floor. "I'm never going to be able to get up from here," he groaned, "still a little sore from sledding yesterday."
Sarah laughed, "There's plenty of us to hoist you up if you need help." She popped the lid on the container of blocks, pouring them out on the floor. "Here you go, lil' bro." Timmy bounced up and down excitedly as the blocks tumbled out in front of him. Immediately picking up a few of them he began stacking one on top of the other. Sarah watched intently and commented, "I'm impressed; he's got good hand-eye coordination for a one year old."
"That's my boy." Gibbs stacked a few blocks on top of Timmy's creation and continued, "I never got a chance to thank you for believing in me and convincing Maggie that I was the right person to raise Tim."
Swallowing past the lump in her throat the younger woman nodded, "It doesn't take a genius to realize that you're the perfect person to raise him. He deserves to know what it feels like to have someone who loves him no matter what, supports his dreams and protects him when he needs it the most."
Gibbs glanced over at Timmy, "He's a special kid; I've known that since the first day we met. I'll always be here for him and you too if you'd like." Confused, Sarah raised her head to make eye contact with the older man, "What do you mean?"
"I know it must have been difficult for you to lose your father and essentially older brother all at the same time. I just want you to know that if you ever need anything you can come to me."
Sarah blinked back tears as the realization that she'd never see her father again sank in. After the Admiral's death she'd jumped right back into school and work, which left her no time to grieve. Now all of Gibbs' paternal sentiments were opening up old wounds she had worked hard to push past. "I'm sorry," she sniffled, "It's been tough losing two of the most important men in my life and dealing with my mother. This hasn't been an easy year for me." Gibbs scooted closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "No need to apologize kiddo. I know from experience how hard it is to lose the people you love the most. The good news is that your brother is still here and you two will always have a special bond."
Wiping the tears from her eyes Sarah suddenly appeared embarrassed, pulling away from Gibbs' embrace. Bowing her head she muttered, "Sorry, it's supposed to be a happy time and I'm ruining it by crying."
"Hey now," the older man growled, using his finger to tilt her chin. He smiled when she made eye contact with him. "Don't ever be ashamed for expressing how you feel. If there's anything I've learned or at least I'm trying to learn is that it's not good to bottle up all your emotions. I meant what I said earlier, if you ever want to talk or just hang out with Timmy you're always welcome here."
"Thanks, Gibbs." Their conversation was interrupted when the tower of blocks came crashing to the ground.
"Ta Da!" Timmy bellowed, extending his little arms up above his head. Sarah and Gibbs howled with laughter, "Leave it to Timmy to help lighten the mood."
As the little guy went back to stacking blocks, Sarah grabbed a few of her own and started creating her own tower. "Thanks again for inviting me tonight, Gibbs. After all that's happened, plus dealing with my mom, this is the perfect distraction." Unbeknownst to Sarah, she had given Gibbs the perfect segue into his questions regarding Maggie. Clearing his throat he asked, "How is your mom doing?"
The younger woman shrugged her shoulders, "She has good and bad days. After we went back to Texas she started attending Alcoholics Anonymous again and is currently working with a sponsor to help her remain sober. Living with alcohol addiction is an uphill battle; however she's working really hard to move forward rather than back."
"That's good news. I'm happy to hear that she's taking it seriously and wish her the best."
"She knows it's the only way she'll ever be able to spend time with Tim."
Gibbs nodded, "She's right, I can't have people who are drunk and belligerent around my son."
"Believe me," She paused and rubbed Timmy's back, "I don't want anyone like that around my brother either. I'll keep tabs on her and let you know if anything changes."
"I appreciate that."
Ducky cleared his throat as he popped his head into the family room from the kitchen. "Sorry to interrupt. Jethro, all the dishes have been washed and the leftovers stored; what's next on the itinerary?"
"I think we're done, Duck." Nevertheless he looked over at Sarah to confirm his suspicions. The younger woman nodded, "Yep, I'd say we are."
"Fantastic!" Ducky walked further into the family room and continued, "Sarah, my dear, would you like a hot beverage? Perhaps coffee, tea or hot cocoa?"
While Sarah pondered her decision Ducky gestured toward Tim. "What about my grandson?" Gibbs shrugged his shoulders, "I don't see why he can't have warm cocoa. I'd like to take some photos before I give him anything else to drink though. He's probably going to need a diaper change shortly too."
"I'll do it." Tony chimed in from the kitchen. The smell suddenly hit Sarah's nostrils, causing her to wave her hand in front of her face. Smiling deviously, she chuckled, "Oh, I definitely think this a job for Tony!"
"Toey!" Tim shrieked as he started crawling in the younger man's direction. "Hey kiddo," Tony cooed, crouching down to his level. Gathering Tim in his arms he stood, "Let's go get that wet diaper changed, huh?" Suddenly he caught a whiff of a very dirty diaper. "Oh god!" He held Tim at arms length, practically gagging at the overwhelming smell. "I've never changed a messy diaper before, Boss."
Gibbs was enjoying watching Tony squirm as he slowly got to his feet, "There's a first time for everything, DiNozzo."
"No, no, no I can't do it. What if it gets on my hands?"
"Ah geez, that's why they make soap. It's all part of being a parent."
Sarah watched incredulously, "You're telling me that you have no problem dealing with dead bodies on a daily basis, but you're afraid of a little baby poop?"
Tony stumbled over his words, "Well, I, uh...yes! I don't think I could make it through without losing my dinner."
The older man approached the pair, extending his arms out toward Timmy. "Hand him over, DiNozzo. I don't need him getting a rash, while you decide whether or not your stomach can handle it."
"Toey!" Tim screeched reaching his arms out in desperation as Gibbs pulled him close to his chest. "Wan Toey!" He continued wailing as the older man headed toward the stairs. "Shh buddy, Tony will still be here when we get back." Tony hated the fact that his buddy was upset because he refused to change a dirty diaper. He knew he'd never hear the end of it from Abby and Ziva if he didn't at least try so he called out to Gibbs, "Hang on a moment, Boss." Gibbs stopped halfway up the stairs and turned around, "What is it, DiNozzo?"
Tony ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but I'd like to give it a try. Let me change Timmy."
"You sure?" Gibbs asked, gently bouncing the toddler in his arms.
"Yeah, I'm sure." He met him halfway up the stairs, "I don't want to upset my best bud." Gibbs handed Tim over to Tony, patting the youngster on the back he muttered, "You be good for your uncle." He paused as he practically pushed Tony up the stairs, "Breath through your mouth, DiNozzo." When there was laughter from the crowd congregated at the bottom of the stairs, Tony mocked them and huffed, "You all laugh now just wait until it's your turn."
Gibbs chuckled, grabbing a mug of piping hot coffee from the tray Abby was holding, "I deal with it every day, DiNozzo. Sometimes multiples times a day so I don't want to hear any complaining."
The others took their beverage of choice into the family room, gathering near the roaring fire. "I love your Christmas tree, Gibbs. All the ornaments Tim made makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside."
"Thanks, Sarah, he really enjoyed making them. He made a few at daycare and the rest we made here together. He is quite the budding artist for a one year old."
"I saw some of his artwork on the refrigerator and I have to agree with Leroy. My grandson will be the next Picasso."
"It's all about what makes him happy, dad. I can guide and support him; however he has to be passionate about the career he chooses. I'd prefer it not to be NCIS, but I know how much closure..." He paused, motioned to the rest of the team and continued, "How much closure we've all brought families over the years and personal feelings aside it would be wrong of me to keep him from achieving that feeling again. If that's what he really wanted."
"That's very admirable of you Jethro, but the boy has another sixteen years before he needs to start thinking about possible careers. How about we just enjoy his first Christmas together...hmm?"
"Good idea, Duck."
Ziva grabbed her camera and started taking photos while they were waiting for Tony and Timmy to return from upstairs. She took several candid shots then moved on to the Christmas tree and mantle where three new stockings hung. Each one was handcrafted with intricate details that were timeless.
"Your neighbor did a great job making the stockings, Gibbs."
Everyone's attention turned toward the fireplace as they admired the three stockings. Gibbs had even gone as far as getting Jet the dog his own stocking and had already filled it with treats to be enjoyed on Christmas morning. "Yes she did, Ziva. Timmy was thrilled when he saw the finished project and I have to say I really enjoy seeing 'Dad' sewn on mine."
Suddenly there was a loud groan emanating from upstairs, followed quickly by coughing and a bout of dry heaving. The others looked at each other and laughed, visualizing Tony's discomfort while he changed Tim's diaper. "I told you to breathe through your nose, DiNozzo!" Gibbs bellowed from his comfortable seat on the couch.
"Do you think one of us should go up there and help him?"
Gibbs bit back a smile as he shook his head, "Nah Zeever he'll be fine."
"What's the plan for the rest of the evening, son?"
"I want to get some group photos." He paused, "Which reminds me..." he turned to Abby, "I want to get some pictures of Timmy with Jet, could you run upstairs to my room and get him?"
"Sure, do you think he'll need to go outside too?"
"Probably, just let him out in the back. It doesn't take him long when it's twenty degrees outside." Abby excitedly got to her feet, her pigtails bouncing with every step she took. "I'll be right back."
As the Goth began her climb upstairs Gibbs glanced at his watch, "It'll take awhile for Tim to open presents so we should start those while he's still in a good mood. I know Ducky had planned on reading Twas the Night Before Christmas and I figured we could enjoy the wonderful pies that Sarah made while we listen. I'm hoping that Tim will make it through the night with minimal fussing, but we'll have to see. We went to the mall this morning and the poor kid was asleep when we got there, but when I was transferring him from the car to the stroller a gust of wind woke him up. He was fine while we were shopping; however the moment he didn't get his way he started crying."
Sarah chuckled, "One of the many temper tantrums that await you, Gibbs."
"I suppose, although it was the stares from the other shoppers that got me. It's like they had never heard a baby cry before. I will say that for the most part Timmy has been a model child and now he's starting to test his boundaries. The only thing I can do is take it one day at a time."
Ducky reached over to pat Gibbs' hand, "They tend to do that as they get older. You're a mighty fine father, Jethro, please don't ever forget that."
Gibbs opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted when Jet came zooming downstairs followed closely by Abby, Tony and Timmy. Abby followed the canine to the back door while the two boys appeared in the family room. "Dada!" Tim squealed, holding his arms out in Gibbs' direction.
"Hey kiddo what happened to your hat?"
"Casualty of war, Boss."
A chorus of laughter erupted throughout the family room. Gibbs rolled his eyes as he took Tim from Tony, "Do I even want to know, DiNozzo?"
Tony made a face, "Uh probably not. He took his hat off when I laid him down, he was swinging it around and it's possible it might have gotten dirty."
"Uh huh and where's the hat now?"
"I wiped it off the best I could, but I certainly couldn't put it back on Timmy."
"Ya think?"
"It's soaking in the sink of the guest bathroom." He shuddered, "Speaking of which I need to go wash my hands."
"Yes, please go do that for all our benefits." Gibbs ran his fingers through Tim's hair trying to make it look presentable for pictures. The youngster squirmed in his lap, ready to get down on the floor to play again. "Hold on a minute, kiddo, daddy needs to make sure you look handsome for our pictures." Jet came bounding in from the kitchen, immediately heading toward Tim to give him happy kisses. The toddler giggled uncontrollably as Jet licked and slobbered all over his face. Ducky groaned, "I know these two are best buddies, but it gives me the creeps when that dog's tongue is all over my grandson's face. Do you know how much bacteria lives inside a dog's mouth?"
Jack chuckled, "A little dog slobber never hurt anyone."
Tony had overheard the conversation from the kitchen and stopped to grab the package of baby wipes from the dining room. "Never fear..."He paused, handing the wipes over to Ducky, "Uncle Tony is here." Tim fussed and attempted to push Ducky's hand away as the older man tried to clean his face of dog drool. Gibbs knew they didn't have much time until Tim began flagging and cleared his throat, "I think we need to get pictures now. Zeever since you've become quite the photographer, I was wondering if you'd mind taking some group shots?"
"I would be happy to, Gibbs."
After multiple rounds of group photos Tim had had enough. Gibbs couldn't blame the poor baby, between the camera flashes and being passed around like a football it was all becoming too much for him. Hell, even Gibbs was ready to be done and move on to the fun stuff. Once they'd taken the last group photo Gibbs grabbed the bottle of chocolate milk and handed it to the little guy as a treat for being such a trooper. Tim gurgled happily as he stuck the nipple of the bottle into his mouth. Ziva, the last person to be holding him in the photos plopped down on the couch, adjusting him so he was comfortable in her arms. She watched him suck contently before leaning down to kiss the top of his forehead. When she looked up she noticed the others were watching her intently.
"What?"
Ducky squeezed the back of her neck gently, "Nothing at all, dear. I think we all melt a bit inside when we see your maternal instincts kick in."
Ziva looked lovingly at Tim, brushing the tiny curls off his face, "I miss him." Pausing she glanced at the others and continued, "Surely I cannot be the only one who feels someone is missing from our celebration tonight."
Sarah swallowed past the lump in her throat and shook her head, "You're not, Ziva. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about Tim. I miss him terribly too. I will say that being around baby Tim and all of you wonderful people has helped though."
The others bowed their heads solemnly, realizing they'd been so caught up in the hype of baby Tim's first Christmas that they'd failed to acknowledge adult Tim's absence. Gibbs ran his fingers through his hair and huffed, "We all miss him, Ziva. If I could go back in time to stop all this from happening I wouldn't hesitate." He paused and looked around the room before adding, "I'm sure there isn't a day that goes by that any of us don't think about adult Tim. Unfortunately his life took a different path than expected and now it's my job to make sure it's a fulfilling one."
"Just because Timothy is a baby now doesn't mean we're not allowed to share all the wonderful memories we had with him when he was an adult."
"Ducky's right." Tony sighed, "Boy oh boy did Probie and I have some fun times together."
Ziva scoffed, soothingly rubbing her thumb over Tim's cheek. "Too bad your version of fun included teasing him every chance you got."
Tony slumped down in the chair and ran his fingers through his hair, "You're right, I wasn't always the best teammate or friend that I could have been. As much as I tried to resist he would say or do something that would make it hard for me to keep my mouth shut." Trembling he turned toward Sarah and continued, "Even though I wasn't always nice to your brother I still considered him to be my best friend. He was my Probie - always will be."
Abby leaned over to rest her head against Tony's shoulder, "We all have regrets when it comes to how we treated Tim and unfortunately we have to live with it now."
There was a moment of silence except for the crackling embers from the fire until Sarah spoke softly, "When Tim and I talked on the phone most of our conversations revolved around the crazy pranks you would pull on each other. Although most of the time they were aimed at him. However, the most amazing part is that no matter how many times he felt disrespected, he never muttered a single bad word about any of you. He knew that you loved..." She paused, "love him and he loves you too. I know he'd appreciate your honesty; perhaps in the future you'll stop to think how your actions might affect someone."
Gibbs took a deep breath as a surge of sadness mixed with anger took over his entire body. He knew of the teasing that had happened amongst his team and done nothing to stop it. Tim's pain was just as much his fault as it was the others. Staring at his sweet, innocent little baby, he wondered what he had done right in his life that allowed Tim to love him unconditionally. Hell, it wasn't until Tim's regression that he even tried to be a father figure to the poor kid.
Noticing his son was deep in thought; obviously upset about their current conversation Jack tried to lighten the mood. "Looks like Tim's almost done with his bottle. How about we open presents next?"
Ziva sat Tim up in her lap, pulling the nipple of the bottle out of his mouth. "I think that is an excellent idea, Jack." Gibbs shook his head as if to clear it and smirked, "I figured we would do the McGees' gifts tonight and tomorrow afternoon we'll do the rest of the team's. However, there are some gifts from Timmy that I'd like you all to open tonight."
Tony grinned, rubbing his hands together in excitement, "Let's get to it, Boss."
"Geez DiNozzo! I'm not sure who is more excited about opening gifts you or Timmy."
The younger man shrugged his shoulder and responded, "I can't help it. Every year around the holidays I feel like a kid again."
"Just around the holidays?" Gibbs mumbled as he stood to retrieve a trash bag from the kitchen. Ducky and Jack had heard what Gibbs said and repeated it to the rest of the group. They all laughed, knowing that in many ways toddler Tim was far more mature than Tony. When he returned from the kitchen Gibbs scooped Tim out of Ziva's lap, carrying him over to sit near the Christmas tree. Ziva took the opportunity to grab her camera, ready for Tim's first experience at opening gifts.
"I think Timmy should open one of my gifts first." Sarah declared, finding her gift underneath the Christmas tree and setting it down in front of the toddler.
Timmy's eyes lit up as a package almost as big as him was placed on the floor in front of him. Unsure of what to do he poked it a few times until his continual jabbing tore a hole in the paper. The youngster sat confused, looking at the others until Gibbs reached over to rip a bigger hole in the paper. "Tear it all off buddy." Tim looked skeptically at his daddy, still not fully understanding what it was he was supposed to be doing. Finally Sarah reached over and tore a huge hole in the wrapping paper exposing the train set she'd bought the little guy.
"Wow Timmy look what your sister bought you!" Gibbs helped him remove the rest of the wrapping paper so that he could fully see the train set. "That looks like so much fun, kiddo."
Sarah smiled, "I wasn't sure if he had one or not, but this set is more for his age group. As you can see the train and tracks are bigger, making them less of a choking hazard."
Gibbs patted her on the shoulder, "It's perfect. Timmy doesn't have a train set and I know he'll enjoy it. Won't you bud..." The older man was interrupted by a loud belly laugh emanating from his son. Tim appeared to be much more interested in the wrapping paper rather than the train, throwing pieces in the air and giggling hysterically as they floated to the ground. The toddler's laugh was infectious and before they knew it everyone was joining in. Once everyone had eventually caught their breaths Gibbs reached for a pile of gifts that were similar in shapes and sizes. Glancing at the name tags he passed each gift out to their rightful owner. "I wanted all of you to open these at the same time. They're from Timmy." A chorus of ooh's and ahh's filled the family room as Gibbs took Ziva's camera and started snapping pictures. They all glanced at each other before tearing into the wrapping paper at the same time.
"Oh my god! This is so precious!" Abby squealed, ripping the rest of the wrapping paper away so she could admire Tim's painting. "Look! It even has an "A" in the middle!" She continued babbling as the others shared their own gifts.
Gibbs looked around the room, happy to see that everyone had a smile on their face. "I hope everyone likes them. It took Timmy and me a few weeks to do all of them, but we enjoyed working on them together. Obviously I painted everyone's first initial, but Timmy covered the rest of the canvas. Then we took them and had them framed."
"I already know where I'm hanging mine, Boss."
The older man nodded, "I had a feeling I'd be seeing a bunch of them at work. That's good; they will brighten up the office."
"This is such a wonderful gift from my grandson, Jethro."
"Mine too!" Jackson chimed in, blown away by the fact that even though they'd had a terrible fight his son had still thought to include him.
"We also made paintings for your mom and Penny, Sarah. I got Maggie's address off the adoption papers and shipped them earlier this week." Sarah smiled, leaning in for a quick hug, "Thanks Gibbs! I know they'll really enjoy them."
Gibbs nodded, gathering Timmy in his arms and squeezing him tightly, "The paintings were a success, kiddo!"
Timmy opened a few more gifts including an MIT onesie from Sarah, books from Penny and clothes from Maggie. Gibbs had also created a photo album for each of the McGees with various pictures that had been taken over the last few months. Sarah wiped the tears from her eyes as she skimmed through the album, vowing not to be away from her brother for too long again.
Once all the gifts had been opened Sarah and Abby dished out pie while Ducky got ready for a new family tradition. While the older man was recovering he'd mentioned to Gibbs that he wanted to read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" to all the "kids" on Christmas Eve. He'd had a special connection with the poem when he was growing up and thought it would be a perfect tradition to start with baby Timmy. Gathered around the roaring fire with a slice of pie and hot beverage of their choice they waited with anticipation for Ducky to begin. Timmy was fighting to stay awake as he burrowed into Gibbs' chest, but the younger man motioned for him to commence anyway.
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there"
Ducky continued through the poem, his voice so soothing that Tim didn't even make it through the second verse before his head was lolling to one side. The others were captivated by Ducky's expressions and the inflection in his voice. It was obvious he'd been practicing for this moment his entire life. To say they were saddened when he reached the final verse was an understatement.
"He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"
Everyone clapped softly as Ducky closed the book and sat back in the chair. Gesturing toward a sleeping Tim he sighed, "The poor lad never stood a chance."
Gibbs shook his head, "No, he didn't. Although I have to say that I caught myself nodding off a few times too, Duck. I'm sure he'd love it if you would read it to him tomorrow."
The older man cleared his throat and stood up, "That I can most certainly do, Jethro. In the meantime it's getting late and I think it's time we all get some rest, hmm?"
The others agreed, carrying their plates and mugs into the kitchen. Gibbs assured them that he'd do the dishes in the morning before Timmy woke up. After several rounds of goodbyes and expressions of gratitude the house was quiet for the first time since that morning. Smiling as Tim let out a small snuffle, Gibbs sank into one of the overstuffed chairs, taking a moment to enjoy the peace and remember what he was truly grateful for this Christmas - being a father again.
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"Twas the Night Before Christmas is a poem first published anonymously in 1823, and later attributed to Clemente Clarke Moore, who acknowledged authorship in 1837