IT'S STATISTICALLY proven that you think less when your mind is at ease. Your body isn't tense, you begin to feel like you're floating in thin air and you feel like you're a thousand miles away from reality. You no longer stress about the things that go on in your everyday life, so you choose to let yourself go and think about now.
It felt like it was only seconds when the LSD kicked into my system and my body no longer felt the same. It was a good feeling. My fingers where numb, so if I was told to hold something, it would slip right through them, and my head felt light, as if it would just fall right off my neck from one touch.
Marcus still hid himself under the car, so we couldn't go nowhere, but I was paying that no mind as I took a pull from my fourth joint from today. My body was laid out in the backseats, my legs dangling out the car as my ears tune out from every conversation.
I was never one to talk a lot when high, as some tell me. If possible, I was the only one who knew they were high and didn't care. I guess that's just was drugs do- they make you care or they make you don't and they make you freak out or just go with the flow.
"I'm back bitches!" Billy yelled as he came up to us, which made me come back to reality. I sit up from the backseat and watch him come over with a wide grin, "I got a blow job from a girl for a pair of Steve Miller tickets. Oh, these hippies ain't half bad. I mean, it's not exactly free love, but love." He lets out a light laugh, but a frown soon forms, "Uh, now I feel kind of sad."
"Not now, man." Willie tells him, "We all tripping. But Marcus Marcus is tripping."
I slowly lay back down and close my eyes until Marcus was soon put inside the car and I had to move so everyone else could get in. However, I still chose to lay out on top of them as Marcus and Billy were back up front, Billy driving us the rest of the way. He didn't believe it was safe for a high person to be driving other high people, but what did it matter?
We soon drove into Las Vegas, and I could help but be amazed by it's colorful buildings and hotels that shined brighter than it ever could. It felt like we were going down an endless road and when I looked to my left a bit, I seen that Marcus was just as engulf into his surroundings like I was.
I watched his curls blow into the wind and the puff of smoke that escaped past his lips turn into thin air. A small smile resided on his face and I couldn't help but smile too. Despite his overuse of drugs, he was having fun, which meant he was happy. I continued to eye him until I feel my heart race like a cheetah when he turns back to look at me. He holds his boyish grin and holds out his cigarette which I slowly take from his grasp, our eyes locked on each other.
Though when the cigarette was in my grip, I clear my throat and put it to my lips, trying not to think of Marcus and how his lips were on the same cigarette only a few moments ago. I couldn't think of Marcus this way anymore, I had Lex in my life.
Well, did I really have him? Was he mine to have?
I push the thoughts away because the purpose was for me to let go and not think about the shit that keeps me up at night. Instead, I just continue to stare at the back of Marcus' head until we reached the hotel we were planning to stay at for the night.
We strolled through the casino and fucked around a bit until we decided to go to our room. We all pile inside and I go straight toward the window to look down at the streets below. People filled the streets and moved around as if the night could never end and I loved every bit of that.
I then look over my shoulder to see Saya cuddled up next to Marcus and a pang of jealousy hit me. I try and ignore it before Willie and Saya left for smokes while Maria went to the pool. I was now laying back on the bed as Marcus still sat at the edge of it, his eyes trained on the TV.
"Where'd everyone go?" Marcus asked for the second time.
"To the am/pm to get smokes and snacks and stuff." Billy answered this time, pacing the room in a quick manner which made my head spin, "Maria went to the pool."
"We told you that, like, six times, dude." I mumbled, but he didn't hear me.
"Are you mad at me?" Marcus wondered and Billy gave him a look.
"What? No, dude." Billy assures him, "Just nervous."
"Why?" I questioned.
"My dad's staying in the next room." He told us, "I'm going to set a device on his door. Let us know when he gets back, keeps it from locking."
I tune out as I watch Billy move around the room again until he leaves the room and Billy lights up a cigarette. I scoot up behind him and rest my head on his shoulder, "Marcus?"
"Hm?" He muffled as I move back a bit when I notice he was trying to lay down. He rested his head on my lap and stared up at me, his eyes bouncing around my face with excitement.
I raise my hand to mess with the curls that dangled on his forehead, "Marcus, I have something to tell you."
His reached up to my face and stroked my cheek, staring at me upside down, "What is it?"
His face stood relax and his took a long pull from his cigarette and exhaled, the cloud trapped in between us.
I let out a sigh and inhale his body odor of nicotine, "It's going to sound crazy-" I paused, "Actually it's going to sound unbelievably crazy and stupid, probably because I'm high as hell, but-"
A loud thud from the next room had Marcus shoot up from my lap and over toward the wall, cutting my words short. Though, for some reason, I was persistent, "Marcus," I call him, but he was so concentrated on what was on the other side of the wall, "Marcus."
Not even paying me any mind, he heads toward the door and opens it, but glanced back at me, "Stay here." Was all he said before he hesitantly disappeared outside. I now sat alone, and for once this whole day, I had something on my mind and it was Marcus.
After hooking up with Lex, I chose to push Marcus and my feelings for him in the back of my mind because it was obvious he didn't feel the same for me. I knew that we were better off as friends.
A louder thud brought me to reality and absentmindedly, I stood from the bed and out of the room to go next door. I swing the door open to see Marcus frozen on the couch, watch Billy cry over a dead man, who I assume was his father.
He was sobbing and whimpering out words, but I was too focused on the dead man in front of him. His blood furiously spread itself around his body, that laid limp as his son yelled at him.
I slowly back away from the room, the memories from my past coming back. All this blood, all of the destruction that the room was covered in- it was just too much for me.
I suddenly turn on my heels and walk back to the room, locking it behind me as I felt my heart racing by every millisecond. I hurry to the bathroom and lock it also before I got into the tub and sat in it, with my legs pressed against my chest. The effects of the drugs were now fucking me over and I could no longer stay calm. I was panicking and I didn't know what to do.
I tried to calm my breathing, but I couldn't. I was freaking out on another level and I don't think I could stop it. I turn on my side and I close my eyes, my hands shaking. It wasn't a panic attack, it couldn't have been.
I was burning up now. My body temperature felt like it was on a thousand so I stood up in the tub, stripped myself of my top and jeans before tossing it toward the sink and turning on the shower. I run my face under the water and think deeply. I don't know what got me more fucked up, the reminder of my dead family or the LSD. Maybe I'm just going crazy because now I'm thinking too much.
Remember how I said you either freak out or go with the flow? Well, I'm jumping from both every two minutes.
A sudden bang on the door startled me and had me quickly turn off the shower. I grab a towel, despite still being in my bra and panties, and wrap it around my small figure before unlocking the bathroom door to go toward the front door.
I freeze in steps as I hear frantic shouting, but I was able to tell it was Marcus, "Open the door! Let me in! Chester- he found me! I can't take it out here anymore, I can't! Please don't make me deal with this anymore. I can't take it anymore." I then go up to the door and open it, Marcus wasting no time before rushing in, and shutting the door quickly, "Brynn, it was him. His face was melted, but it was him."
"What are you talking about?" I asked him as he talked in coherently to me, so I grab his hand and pull him over to the bed. I go toward the bathroom and only put on my shirt as I spoke loudly, "I just had a brief meltdown, so you're gonna have to try and talk to me."
When I exit the bathroom, I see him staring down at his hands so I go over and kneel in front of him, my vision sort of blurry as I look at him, "Marcus, everything is okay. Just talk to me."
"Nothing's okay," He argued, "My soul is gone, and the Devil keeps following me-a window I left open."
"This world is a fucked up place, Marcus," I tell him, "We have enemies and people who will forever hate us-"
"I'm a bad person." He cut me off, "I'm a bad person. I had-" He repeated, but paused to look at me with his bloodshot eyes, "Brynn, I killed someone tonight."
I grab his hands and squeeze them, "No one is innocent. Everyone does bad- everyone is a bad person."
"But I-"
"Marcus, did you ever feel like you were brought to this world to do good in life?" I asked him as he continued to look down at me, "Did you, because I didn't. I had to wake up every morning to see my mother cooking me and my sister breakfast with a black eye and a bruised lip. She was in pain and I couldn't do anything to stop it, so I swore to never live a life like that- a life where I'm terrified of what's around the corner, but it turns out that I am what people terrify."
"You're one of the good ones, Brynn," He encourages, "You kill to protect others."
"You too," I mumbled, my eyes moving down toward his lips.
"You were going to tell me something earlier," He mentioned and I raise a brow, but remember what he was talking about.
I shake my head, "It was nothing. Just a spur of the moment kind of thing."
"Tell me." He insisted and I look into his eyes.
I then let out a soft sigh and look down at my bare thighs, "It's nothing big, I just wanted to say that I had a crush on you when you came to the school," I shrug.
"You had a crush?" He questioned.
"Yeah, it wasn't really a big deal since I got with Lex and you started to like Saya, but," I let out another sigh, "I don't know, maybe it's the drugs or something, but tonight... tonight, I just felt like I did in the start of knowing you."
He silently sat in front of me, but lifted my head by my chin so I would look at him. He puts his hands on either side of my face and slowly moves down to get closer to me. My breathing hitches once he was inches away from me, his lips ghosting over mine.
Should I stop this? He's my best friend- he's my only real friend since I came to King's. Could this kiss fuck up our friendship?
"I don't think we should.." I whispered, placing my hands on his wrist.
A small smirk appears on his face, "When in Vegas.."
"Isn't that a saying for Rome?" I wonder, a light chuckle escaping past my lips, "I think the actual saying is what happens in Vegas, stays in-"
Before I was able to finish the saying, I felt Marcus' soft lips hurriedly place themselves on mine. I stood frozen, but my body was starting to melt before locking my lips in sync with his. His hands stay on my face, but he pulls away briefly to smile at me and pull me up onto the bed.
It all happened so fast. He was laying down with me straddling his waist, my damp clothes sticking to me body. He then sits up a little to meet my eyes and smile again, "You're gorgeous."
I've never been this close with Marcus and it felt strange because the only other person I was like this with was Lex. Lex was my first kiss and my only kiss until Marcus came in and made me forget all of that.
Slowly, he grips onto the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head and at the edge of the bed. I bring my hands to his chest, my fingers dragging themselves across his collarbone, "I've never been laid on acid. You?"
"I've never been laid in general." He honestly tells me and my heart bursts.
"Me neither.." I mumbled.
He furrowed his brows, "I thought you and Lex-" I shake my head slowly and he suddenly gives me a tug at the waistline of my panties before we pull each other in for another kiss. It felt like it was needy, like I've wanted this and like he did as well.
I briefly pull away to pull off his shirt and kiss him again before he turns us over and he's on top. The drugs definitely were at its highest point right now along with a rush of adrenaline that kicked into my system. His hands intentionally roamed my body as he kissed me with hunger.
I began to reach for his belt, until the door bursts open to see Chico at the door. He glared at Marcus as we laid frozen on the bed, our hearts plummeting by the sight of him "Motherfucker."
He then pulls out his gun and shoots at us, but I was able to pull Marcus on the side of the bed, to avoid getting hit. I glance at Marcus with wide eyes, my body on top of his as we laid on the ground, my mind and body no longer at ease, "Marcus, what the fuck did you do?"