"So how has your first week been?" my mom asks over the phone as I'm walking across campus.
"It was great, Mom. I just finished my last class of the week and am heading to the dorms now."
"That's great, honey. I remember my first week of college. I hated it. I missed my family, and my friends, and even my old teachers," she laughs into the phone. "I'm so glad you are having a much better experience."
"Oh thank God!" I practically shout. "I thought I was being weird. The truth is that it hasn't exactly been what I was expecting. My roommate is awful, she spends all her time on the phone crying to her boyfriend about how she misses him, I got lost on my way to basically all my classes and I'm pretty sure my Psychology professor decided she hated me within thirty seconds."
My mom laughs again. I'm glad someone can find the humor in it. "I'm sure it'll all work out, sweetie. The first few weeks are an adjustment period. I do wonder though how Ian and Nick are actually doing. They both told me they were fine, but they are a lot less forthcoming than you are to me. Have you talked to them?"
"I talked to Ian yesterday. He legitimately seems to be having the best time of his life. He's a freak."
"I'm glad, as much I'm not surprised. I don't actually like to see my children miserable. How about Nick?"
"Um...no, I haven't talked to him."
"That's too bad. I know what good friends you guys became this summer. You should call him."
I need a change of subject. "So any advice for me, Mom? On how to improve my experience?"
"What are your plans this weekend?"
"Derek wants me to go to a party with him tonight, but I don't know. I feel like eating a tub of ice cream and watching Ace Ventura."
"Honey, go to the party," she says sternly.
I can't help but laugh. "You know, Mom, you're probably the only parent I know that is actually encouraging their daughter to go to a college house party."
"I trust you, and you haven't let me down yet," she says. "Besides, you have been going to school with the same small group of kids since you were seven. It's time to spread your wings. I think you'll be surprised. Just be careful."
"I will, Mom. And I'll think about the party."
"That's great, honey. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Okay. Bye Mom. Love you."
"Love you too. Oh! And don't forget to call Nick. I spoke to him last week and he sounded...ill, or something, on the phone."
"Alright, Mom," I lie.
When I get to my room, I'm relieved to see that Kelly, my roommate, is already gone for the weekend. She told me she was going home to see her boyfriend, Jeremy—despite the fact that's it's a five hour drive and she's only been away for five days.
Although I've never seen or spoken to him, I feel like I know Jeremy better than Kelly. She's proceeded to tell me his favorite color, and TV show, and his dog's name, despite the fact that I don't give a shit.
I sit at my desk and look at the pictures I put up the day I moved in. They are mostly of my friends, and one of my mom and dad. There is one that stands out every time I sit here. It's of Ian, Nick and me at graduation. Ian is the middle of Nick and I with his arms thrown over our shoulders.
I remember taking this picture. Nick and I had just had our argument about me yelling at his mom. Taking a picture together was awkward, but we couldn't very well say no.
My mom gave a copy each to the three of us. I debated not putting it up, but when my mom was here helping me set up my room, I didn't want to upset her. I don't know why it's still up, though. Every time I see it, it reopens the wound that is trying desperately to heal.
The words Nick said to me the night of the storm were perfect. When I heard them, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think straight. It was the most romantic moment of my life.
So when he took them all back the next day, I felt a knife being shoved directly into my chest.
"Ohhh...who's that?" I hear from behind me.
It's Abby, one of the girls that lives down the hall. She's nice, but very bubbly, which I'm not in the mood for right now.
"No one," I say half-heartedly. Everyone on our floor leaves their doors open all the time, so people are constantly popping in and out of each other's rooms. I must have left mine open by habit. I wish I hadn't. I want to be alone.
Abby sits down on Kelly's desk chair. I guess she's staying. "Not a boyfriend?"
I roll my eyes. "Definitely not."
"Alright. Well they're both gorgeous, so I was just wondering."
"Eww, the one in the middle is my brother!" I laugh.
"Sorry. Won't happen again." She puts her hands up. "What are your plans tonight?"
I shrug and glance at my computer. "Probably just staying in."
"What?!? No way! It's your first Friday night as a college student!"
She has a point. "My friend, Derek, did mention this party..."
"You should go!"
I nod. "Yeah, I probably will actually. What are you doing?"
"I don't actually have any plans yet..." she smiles at me coyly.
I smile back. "Would you like to come with me?"
"Yes!" She answers quickly. "I was starting to panic. I don't know anyone here, and I don't think I've ever stayed in on a Friday night before."
I remember Nick saying the same thing about me once. Maybe Abby and I will get along, after all.
We meet Derek outside our building a few hours later. Abby had some wine coolers in her room, so we each had one of those while we got ready. I needed it to calm myself down.
I can't believe how nervous I am. I've been to dozens of parties in high school, but I think my mom is right, I was comfortable there because I knew every one. I'm not going to know anyone here...besides Derek, of course.
He's smoking a joint with his roommate when he sees Abby and I walking toward them. "Hey ladies! Almost done here."
"No problem," I say. "Derek, this is Abby. Abby, this is Derek." I don't actually know his roommate's name, and Derek still doesn't introduce him.
"What's up?" Derek asks, offering the joint to Abby. She surprises me by taking it and having a long drag before offering it to me. I shake my head. I'm not in the right mindset for weed tonight.
We start walking, following the boys, until we reach a huge house a few blocks away. There are people everywhere outside—swinging on the porch swing, playing beer pong on the front lawn, or smoking on the sidewalk.
"Let's go inside," Abby says, grabbing my hand.
I let her lead the way into the front door until we find the kitchen, which has a keg sitting on a large tub of ice. I'm honestly relieved. If I can get a few beers in, I may just chill the hell out.
I take my first sip and really look at some of the people around me for the first time. The girls are all gorgeous, and obviously put much more time into looking good for this party than the guys do. I'm starting to feel ridiculous in my jeans when I see a tall girl walk past in a dress that fits her like a glove and looks like it costs hundreds.
"That guy is seriously checking you out," Abby whispers in my ear. I look in the direction she is and see a guy leaning against the wall staring directly at me. He's kind of cute, with shaggy hair that is partially covering his eyes—not a look I've ever been particularly fond of. For Gods sakes, get a haircut!
I turn toward the keg and fill my cup again. "Compared to some of the girls here, I feel like I'm dressed for the snowy tundra. He's probably wondering when my expedition starts."
She laughs, "Yeah that's probably it."
Abby is dressed much more appropriate than I am for the evening in a white and yellow sundress which looks amazing on her brown skin. I'm realizing that I've never really thought much about my clothes before. I've always been more worried about what's comfortable than what is fashionable. I'm in need of a serious shopping trip, maybe Abby will go with me.
A girl with bright pink hair comes bouncy up to us, "Abby?!? Oh my God! I didn't know you were going to school here!"
"Missy! Holy shit!" Abby yells and wraps her arms around the petite girl in a hug. Then she turns to me. "Bailey, this is Missy. We went to high school together, but she graduated before me. And she's fucking awesome."
"Hi!" Missy says excitedly. I can see why Abby likes her so much. "I'm getting ready to start a game of beer pong, and we need one more. Either of you interested...?"
"I'll play!" Abby says without hesitation, but then looks at me awkwardly. "I mean...but I'm not going to leave you alone."
"Nonsense!" Missy interjects. "Come with us, Bailey. You can play the next round."
I smile gratefully. I have to admit I had a moment of panic at the thought of Abby leaving me. I haven't seen Derek since we arrived. "Sounds good! But I do have to go pee. How about I go do that and I'll meet you outside?"
They both nod and head towards the front door. I ask someone where the bathroom is and walk in the direction his finger is pointing, toward the back of the house. It's still relatively early in the night, so there's not much of a line, thankfully.
As I'm returning to the party, I see the shaggy haired guy waiting in the hallway. "Hi," I say politely while attempting to walk past him.
He steps in front of me, blocking my path. "I saw you looking at me earlier."
I take a step to the right, and he moves in the same direction. He takes a step to me, so he's towering over me. He's attempting to intimidate me, and I don't like it, at all. He runs his finger under the shoulder strap of my shirt, and I smack it away. "I'm afraid you were mistaken."
I step to the left, and he follows me again. "Please move," I say.
"What's going on here?" I hear a voice coming from the other side of the asshole.
When he turns around to look, I take the opportunity to grab his shoulders and ram my knee between his legs with as much force as I can. His mouth hangs open and his eyes bulge as he brings his hands to his crotch and falls to the ground. He's curled into a fetal position as the boy whose voice distracted him walks up to me.
"I thought maybe I'd need to intervene, but I guess you had it under control."
I look at him and smile, "My dad wanted me to go to some self defense classes over the summer. I guess they worked."
He laughs, "Well I'm glad."
He is has dirty blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, and a genuine smile. He's taller than me, but so are most people. He holds his hand out, "I'm Evan."