"Grace. Can we talk?" He begged as he followed me. I slammed the door in his face and leaned on it, sinking to the ground.
"Grace, open the door." I heard through he wood.
I just wanted him to go away. I wanted to be left alone and I told him that too.
"I'm not going anywhere till you open this door." He stated.
Every time I told him to leave, he repeated his words.
I eventually caved in.
I opened the door and Roman stumbled in. He must have been leaning on it.
"Fine, talk. Say what you have to say and go." I said as I walked away.
"Grace. Thursday night,"
"Is none of my business, Roman." I interuppted him. "I know you said things were over between the two of you, but I didn't know you picked up where you left. That was a jerk move too by the way. Doing what you did to me on Monday, the whole time you have been with her!" I spat out. "Then she shows up through dinner!"
"That was a one off." He snapped at me. "I didn't know she would be there tonight."
I held my hands up defensively. "Whatever. Not my business. I don't care."
"It was a one off. She showed up like that." I watched as Roman rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Tell me what you're thinking, please?"
I froze. "Nothing." I stated a bit quickly.
"The last time you said nothing, I not only find out that you're pregnant, but with my child. So talk to me."
"It doesn't matter. Because what I was going to say would have made no difference!" I yelled at him.
"Try me."
I withdrew myself away from him.
"I didn't want to interrupt anything. Just leave me Roman. I don't know what this is. Obviously we can't be friends if we are constantly at each other all the time."
I saw the hurt in his face. It hurt me to say it. Roman nodded, slowly walking away.
After he left, I closed my bedroom door and I broke down again. Raw feelings over took me. I felt the same as I did two years ago and I didn't want to feel that again. I promised myself that I wouldn't let anyone make me feel like that again.
But it happened. Now I'm crying over someone that I didn't want but is all that I consume my thoughts with.
As the days ticked over, they turned to weeks. I barely saw Roman, which I was pleased about, some days and others it made me depressed.
Roman still bought dinner every night, but he didn't eat with me. He took his and went to his study. I don't know how many times I've stood outside that door, waiting for courage or something, but I always didn't knock and walk away.
I went from four months pregnant to five then six.
We still went to the doctors, we spoke civily to each other when necessary but that was it. It hurt me so much. I didn't want to distant myself, but I did. For myself.
I still had the media buzzing but not as frequent and I ignored them when I could.
Roman still buys me oranges and I didn't have the heart to tell him I actually hated oranges and I no longer craved them, so I constantly kept other people supplied with them.
I couldn't forgive him. Because if I forgave Roman, then I would open to him again. I couldn't have that. I couldn't do it. The only time I actually voluntarily see him is when I invite him to appointments, which he tends to religiously or when he gives me dinner.
The doctor visits are awkward, with me feeling uncomfortable and mentally kicking myself on why did I do it and Roman trying to talk me with me answering with three words or less.
He does try to talk to me, but I ignore him. I can't. Not personally. So my life consisted of working my butt off, avoiding the media and Roman.
🌸
I've hit 30 weeks.
That's 7 and half months.
That's me no longer picking things up off the floor. Me napping at my desk. Me forgetting where I've placed my items.
Me being very slack because I've yet to get items for this child.
I huffed out some air as I rubbed my stomach. It feels so tight. I feel like a whale.
I fanned myself with a paper plate while the fan blew at me.
It's July. It's winter and here I am in a singlet and elastic band skirt, fanning myself. My hair pinned off my neck.
"Mum, please, turn the AC on." I begged her.
Mum gave me a stern look. "No. It's like 13 degrees. I don't have the heater on and we are all cold." She drilled at me.
Everyone was wearing long pants or jeans and jumpers or sweaters. I grimaced.
"Move over." I heard Hope snap at me as she dragged a chair towards me. She was big as well. Hope is due this week but baby wasn't making any signs on coming.
Hope was hot and bothered as well. I could see the sweat beading off her.
"Oh god, I wish this kid would hurry. I've had enough of being this big. Plus Will is sick of the housework." Hope grumbled. "Even though it has been a nice break."
I smiled tightly at her. "Any day now." I told her as I readjusted myself. "This kid won't stop kicking me in the bloody ribs." I swore as I rubbed where it hurt.
"Well that's what happens when you sleep with someone." Mum smirked at us as she handed over two ice cold drinks. "Did you enjoy your day, sweetie." Mum asked us.
"Yes, thanks mum." We both answered. We both had adjoining baby showers, Hope leaving it till the last minute and she insisted I piggybacked on hers.
"Yeah. Will is loading the car now. I'll let Vinnie finish his nap though before we go." Hope smiled.
"Yeah, I'll take mine home, eventually." I added, I told my parents weeks ago that I was staying at Roman's.
"Grace, what are you doing with your stuff?" Will asked when he came back inside.
"Its in storage while I'm house hunting." I told him. Which was true. Just not to buy. I can't afford another bill like a mortgage. Not yet. "I looked at one a couple days ago. A cute little two bedroom house." Minimal yard though, but I wasn't concerned about that.
"Where abouts?" Hope asked me.
"That one was about twenty minutes drive away." I told them. I can't afford to stay in the city. Not with a baby. "Out west."
Mum pursed her lips together. Mum and Dad lived in the western suburbs but further west, mum didn't like.
"Now I know how you feel about that and in my defense, that house was forty dollars a week cheaper then a house in this neighbourhood. I looked at one last week, it was too far out of my price range." I defended.
"I know darling. I just worry." Mum said as she started to clean up.
I picked up another slice of cake that was next to me and dug my fork into it.
"So good." I mumbled.
"Shut up." Hope snapped.
"What, it ain't my problem you have to control your sugar intake." I growled back.
"Yeah, yeah." She whined at me. Hope couldn't have much sweets. She had to control her intake. Something I didn't didn't have to worry about. Plus Hope gained alot of weight. I didn't this time, except from my breasts to my hips. I look like I have the wrong arms and legs on my body.
After I finally got up with the help from Will, I eventually went home, well Roman's, accidently leaving most of my gifts at my parents.
I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of coke, pouring myself a glass with ice. My new craving for the month. I didn't care what it was as long as it had alot of sugar in it.
After that and having a cold shower, I washed my hair, placing it back up high on my head and scrubbed the makeup of my face.
This pregnancy hasn't been kind lately. I'm breaking out in acne, my skin is oily and my hair feels like it needs to be washed everyday.
I cranked the air conditioner on when I got home so after getting into a loose short dress, I was greeted by the cool air in the lounge room.
I've been sleeping on the couch, not being able to sleep in my room where I feel hot, even with my door open and the air con running. So I had a thin sheet folded over the back of the couch, a pillow and Jesse kept me company. I usually fall asleep with my laptop on work. I don't know if Roman knows but I don't think he does otherwise he would carry me to bed knowing him.
I've actually been lonely, but how does one come across admitting it loudly without the embarrassment and pity?
Hope and Will are expecting baby number 2 any day now. Macy is having a hard time with Trenton not sleeping and Leo being loud and destructive. Dean has been working full time, doing over time to help boost their savings and Sofie is four months pregnant.
It's contagious. Pregnancy, that is.
I sighed as I rubbed the cold glass against my face. It's so hot.
Maybe I should be the bigger person and talk to Roman.
🌸
Roman's POV
I tapped away on the laptop. Delivery in four days. I've pushed it back as far as I could but it needs to be done.
Everything I do is done for a reason. I no longer care how annoyed people get. I no longer care if it's unwanted.
I've kept my distance from Grace. It was what she asked in the end, so I honoured her decision, no matter how much I hate it.
I heard a knock on my study door. It was soft and quiet. Grace. Closing the laptop, I walked to the door, adjusting my jacket. It's so cold and Grace has the bloody air conditioner running. One of us is going to get sick soon.
I've been tough at work and keeping myself busy working. I've been keeping an eye on Grace's finances and noticed how her business is slowly improving and she finally caved in accepting my proposal a week ago. She has yet to come to the office and discuss what I want or need but for a while, they have been the same things.
My study is nice and warm and I know it's going to get cold as soon as I open the door.
"Grace?" I asked, slightly surprised to see her here, talking to me voluntarily. Grace turned around and faced me.
I saw the only thing she wore was a short dress and I dragged her inside the study out of the cold.
"Aren't you cold?" I asked her as she suddenly slumped, fanning her face.
"No, I'm so hot right now."
I raised an eyebrow as I saw her stomach. It's getting big now and I felt a sense of pride run through me. That's my child in there, no one else's. Mine.
"What's wrong?" I asked her. "Are you sick?"
"No."
"You will be dressed like that in this weather." I muttered, closing the door, trying to keep the hat in my study.
She fiddled around with the thermostat then looked at me. "Okay, so I haven't got anything. Like I do but I don't. I know you wanted to do shopping months ago, so I thought why not now?"
"So have you cooled down?" I inquired at her.
Grace folded her arms, well, I noticed she tried till she gave up and placed them on her hips.
She gave me a small eye roll and I smirked at her.
"What do you need?"
****
Yellow or green? I was absolutely frustrated. Grace has been standing in the same spot for twenty minutes now. All because she couldn't decide what colour for curtains. Curtains!
I didn't see why we needed half the stuff she had listed off, but she insisted.
I held her strawberry thickshake as she felt the fabric over again.
"What do you think?" She suddenly turned to me. "I think green is a nice soothing colour, like yellow, but I reckon it's a bit boyish. The yellow is alright, but what if it's a boy?"
"Does it matter?" I asked, rubbing the bridge of my nose.
"Of course it does. I want to have a soothing room for the baby." She frowned not looking at me.
"No, I mean, once the baby is born, you'll change it all anyway."
Grace paused in her movements. "Yeah, I guess so." She whispered, placing the curtains back. "I could just do white but oh!"
I sighed as her attention went else where.
I shuffled three feet forward. We had so far achieved two things. A cot which took an hour to pick between oak and pine and then a three back of blankets, which we both settled on white because of the gender. Now we are back at the gender colours again.
"I don't know. I'm too hungry to think." She mumbled out and I took that as my cue to get moving.
"Come on. We'll finish now and continue another day." I told her as I guided Grace to the exit. "How about something to eat?"
Grace nodded as we left the shop, our purchases already organised.
So I took her to a restaurant and we ate an early dinner. I watched as Grace ate mainly bread. She had a few bread rolls and ripped them to pieces, dunking them in to her soup. She didn't eat the soup though. Grace went through several glasses of soft drink and I felt myself at peace, even if we weren't on the best of terms.
I know she is hormonal and as always needed space so I gave her months which was anguish to me. My only comfort is watching her sleep on the couch, in her short shorts and singlets, a sheet wrapped around her legs and a fan blowing on her.
I didn't care what she ate or drank, as long as she is healthy, that was my main focus.
After dinner Grace insisted on a walk, complaining she felt bloated. I wonder why I thought to myself.
We walked through the main streets, some businesses still open. "I'm sorry about bothering you today." Grace finally said to me. "I was so bored."
"You're not bothering me." I told her truthfully. "How was today?"
I watched as her face changed from straight to a frown. "Okay, I guess. How did you know?" I saw how she rubbed at her arms and I took my jacket off. After hours of me complaining about her in nothing but a dress, she was finally starting to feel today's coolness.
"I was told about it and also invited, but I thought it would have been best to not go." I told her, wrapping her shoulders in my jacket.
"Thanks." She mumbled to me, holding it close to her.
"How have you been?"
Grace gave me a twisted smile. "Me or the baby?"
"You."
Grace sighed. "I'm tired all the time. I'm bored when I'm alone. I'm, I'm lonely." Her last words came out like a whisper. "I don't want to disturb my friends. Macy is having a horrible time with her two, Hope is well, ten of me, cranky and moody, and I've been keeping my distance from Dean."
I watched as Grace stared at the ground, a deep frown marred her beautiful face.
"I can keep you company if you want."
Grace slowly lifted her head and smiled. "I would like that."