Grace's POV
The sand under my feet helped me relax as I squeezed my toes, playing in the cool and moist sand.
I sat back against a large rock, the water metres away on low tide as I stared ahead.
I've been sitting here for the past three days now. I've been sitting here just thinking, contemplating my predicament. The hotel I booked into was nice and held a pool, but sitting here, shaded by my large sun hat was better.
I was away from everyone. Left to my own little world.
No one knows I'm here. Now I understand how people lose friends. I've been a slack friend to Macy and Dean.
And a horrible girlfriend. I know I'm being selfish. I know I've asked for a hell of a lot from Roman. My dad warned me about him asking for an inch and taking a mile, but it was I that has been doing exactly that to Roman.
I pleaded with him to give me a week, and he did. He gave me eight days actually and today is day nine.
I just haven't brought myself to return. Not yet. I'm not ready yet. I've been a coward, I can't even ring or message him, I'm too scared to.
The rock I was against belonged with the water as it held little shells attached to it. There was a nice size rock pool next to it, tiny reef fish swimming in it and I even saw a little crab shuffle across in front of me.
My white cheesecloth shirt was slightly too big, falling down a shoulder and exposing my skin to the sun.
I popped open the sunscreen and rubbed some more in to me. I didn't want to get burnt. I burn fairly easy.
I sighed as I tilted my head back, closing my eyes as I adjusted my sunglasses and hat. My knees were bent up slightly, the shirt exposing the bottom half of my thighs down to my toes.
I've thought long and hard about last week, about my founding. Roman was right when he was drunk, rambling. Drunk people tend to tell the truth. If I keep the baby, I will grow to resent Roman, even the child. If I give the child up to Roman, he would still fight for me, well, I think he will.
If I adopt the child out or terminate the pregnancy, I will lose Roman because I love him so much and he will hate me. Then I would probably grow resentful of myself.
I never thought I would fall in love with Roman the minute I met him. I did admit to myself that he was handsome, but that I also hated him for what he did to my family. Then that hate grew at first for our marriage.
But after our divorce, I started to see another side of Roman. A caring side. A side that I refused to admit that I fell in love with.
I pursed my lips together. I should call him. I have to. I turned my head to my little bag and pulled out my phone. I've been ignoring it all lately. I should ring him, I reminded myself.
But instead, I opened the message app and tapped on Romans name. We were on holidays and here I was, sitting isolated at a beach and he was probably stressing about me at home.
I tried to compose a message, but I didn't know what to say.
Hey
I'm staying at The Ocean Blue
Just trying to clear my head still
I miss you
But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to send it. I stared at the screen before dropping my phone on to my tote bag and sunk my head on to my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs.
I unknowingly was playing with the topaz ring Roman bought me weeks ago, my thoughts a mumbled mess.
When we were married, I did have a wedding ring, but I took it off the first chance I had. When I was at the small house we lived in, collecting my stuff before Roman dropped me off at home, I had moved it from my hiding spot to where he keeps his cufflinks. But he never said anything to me about it. Then four weeks ago, I saw it again. Roman had it and his wedding band on his house keys. I wanted to question him about it, but I felt it wasn't important, then I forgot about it till now.
I felt the topaz stud in the ring, not looking at it as I spun the ring on my finger, releasing another quiet sigh.
I do miss Roman and I haven't been sleeping properly this week, not falling asleep till well past 2 in the morning.
I'm feeling sick all through the mornings as well, not enough for me to vomit most days, but sometimes it's enough for me to make myself sick to get rid off the feeling.
I was riddled in guilt on how I've treated Roman, ashamed on how I acted. I know Roman doesn't ask for much from me, just that I behave, that I don't get in trouble. Not to go clubbing. Yet, as strange as it is, he barely demands or asks it now, because I don't want to do it anymore.
I felt a large shadow come over me and at first I thought it was the sun hiding behind a cloud.
But something told me to look up, to look at what is causing this shadow.
When I did, I saw someone, slightly crouching in front of me, waiting for me to register that they were there, a small smile on their handsome face.
I immediately pounced after I gasped from the small fright, wrapping my arms around him.
Roman copied my actions, even though I threw him off balance and he landed on his back with me on top of him.
"Hey princess." He gruffed out as I squeezed him. I felt the tears again, taking over my whole body, my hormones and emotions controlling me. I placed my head on his chest, gripping his shirt at where I could, inhaling him. He smelt like home. A bit more stronger than usual. Then I realised, Roman is my home, no matter where I was, as long as I am with him.
"I'm sorry." I sobbed out to him, my hat barely on my head.
Roman stiffened under me and I didn't want to let him go, but relanctantly, I did.
"I'm so sorry about how I acted, how I've been treating you. It wasn't fair on to you. I wasn't fair." I cried as I sat back. "You are right, as always. I'm an entitled brat." I didn't get to say anymore as Roman got up and helped me stand upright.
I had become a blabbering mess again and I didn't need Roman to tell me I've over thought it all.
Roman embraced me properly this time, pulling me to his chest as I held him, crying. He didn't say anything to me as I had my emotional meltdown, just supporting me, holding me to him. After several minutes of his chin on the top of my head, I pulled away and looked at him in his blue grey eyes.
Roman used a thumb to wipe the tears away on one of my cheeks and I took a deep breathe. Then I admitted something to myself.
I actually want this.
🌸
Roman had comforted me.
"It's okay, Grace. You're allowed to be scared. I'm scared too. It's a new experience for both of us."
"You are?" I asked in amazement as he pulled me to him again, kissing the top of my head.
"Yeah." He breathed out. We stayed like that, huddled to each other a bit longer.
"How did you know was here?" I murmured into his chest.
I felt his grip tighten on me. "I checked the credit card bill online." He replied bluntly.
I pulled away but before I could berate him, Roman continued.
"I gave you your week. When I didn't hear anything from you I checked. It's been nine days, princess and I don't know if you know but a week has seven days."
I heard the subtle playfulness in his voice and I gave him a small smile. He is after all correct.
"I was going to send you a message. I just didn't know what to say." I admitted to him.
"Just your location would have been fine. I've been searching for hours." Then Roman laughed, making me smile again. I watched how his face was less tensed as he looked down at me. God, I love him.
"Lets take a walk." Roman suggested as he offered me his hand. I picked up my phone and bag then took his hand.
"I noticed your phone is smashed." Roman said with no emotion.
Smashed is an understatement. It barely works. The screen has cracks all over it. There looks to be ink under the glass.
"I threw it." I mumbled at him.
I saw Roman shake his head but he didn't say anything else as we walked across the sand.
"Grace, I understand that your scared," Roman said after a while. "That's normal. I bet even your sister is scared."
I blinked at what he said. "But she was happy about the news."
"Yet she can also be scared." Roman told me. "Caring for a little baby that is so dependent on you...."
I didn't hear the rest as my breathing hitched. Roman must have seen my face because we had stopped walking and he was in front of me, holding my shoulders.
I looked back in to his eyes. "I can't do it." I whispered and I knew he was disappointed. "What if I forget about it? What if I drop it? What if I accidently kill it?" The tears started pouring out again as I sobbed.
Romans face softened as he held me.
"I am the youngest of my cousins, I never had a baby around me. I was the baby."
"Gracie, princess, sh." Roman tried to hush me in his arms.
"I can't have a baby, I'm still a child in many ways. A giant but legal child. Look at me! I'm carrying on like one again." I wailed in to his chest.
I felt Roman shake as he chuckled, his arms still around me.
When I calmed down again, I pulled away from him, wiping my face.
"All we can do is one day at a time." Roman told me, gripping my face in his hands.
"I don't want to lose you though." I remarked, trying not to cry again. "What if I resent you? What if..." My words were cut off as Roman placed his lips on to mine.
I melted like butter in his arms, kissing him back.
"One day at a time." Roman repeated when he stopped kissing me. I nodded slowly at him, lost in a trance under his gaze. Then he broke out a huge smile. "How about something to eat?"
*****
The little cafe we were sitting in was cute. It had a rustic beach theme to it and the food was great. I was still anxious and nervous about the whole situation but I tried to stay clear of all topics involving babies and children, including Hope. In a way, I could sense Roman doing the same thing.
We had finished our food and the waitress had come to collect our plates as I sipped on the water in front of me. I kept my eyes away from Roman, trying to think of anything to say. It felt awkward. The whole meal did.
I heard a phone buzz and Roman excused himself, taking the call, walking away from me and I sighed unintentionally in relief. I don't understand why it was awkward, it shouldn't feel that way. I felt more comfortable sleeping next to Roman the first time then I did now.
"Excuse me, Grace? Was that Mr Parker you were eating with? Are you two back together? Are the rumours true that the marriage was a sham? Did you really get divorced or was that a rumour as well?"
I looked startled at the woman in front of me.
"Excuse me?" I muttered out.
Her short black hair was tied back with the front ends loose as she looked irritated that I wasn't listening.
"Did Mr Parker have an affair? Did you? Did you really get married because there are no photos of proof. If so, did you really get divorced after a couple months? What caused you both to split?"
My jaw clenched as I gasped at her. "That is none of your business!" I snapped at her.
"Are you still employed at Roman Enterprises? Do you still do the socialite scene? If not, why not? Is Mr Parker controlling?"
I scraped the chair against the floor as I stood up. "I think you should leave. Leave me alone." I was down right furious now.
"Why are you avoiding the spotlight? Are you planning on remarrying? Is there a pregnancy yet? Is it Mr Parkers? Or is it a love child?"
That set me off. I felt my fist ball up and I threw my arm back, ready to punch her, not knowing or even caring who she was. But my hand was stopped short as I saw it being enveloped by a larger hand.
I was quickly pulled away and shoved outside of the cafe, Roman holding my arm and half dragging me down the street.
"What was that about?" Roman demanded.
I tightened my face up, pushing Roman's grip off me. "Nothing."
"You can't hit random people Grace!"
I stopped and pivoted to face him. "But you can?" I snapped at him.
Roman glared at me in a stony manner as I didn't back down from it. "That's a different matter altogether." He said in gritted teeth.
I gave out a very unlady like snort with one raised eyebrow before I turned back on my heel to walk away, leading Roman back to the room I was staying in at the hotel. We walked side by side while he tried to initiate the whole conversation again.
"Look, she was asking some very personal but untrue questions. Okay?" I finally snapped at him.
"But you know the truth so it doesn't really matter what they ask." I kept my back to Roman, walking ahead of me as he continued. "I told you and you knew when the media gets wind it will be a circus. They are curious, that's all. Just ignore them."
I felt his arm around me and I eventually nodded.
"It's not like you to react that way when you're in the spotlight." I heard Roman mumble as I went to the hotel door to let him in.
"I want to be left alone." I grumbled in return.
"That's hard for them. What would you expect. My company is on the news at least once a month over investments, I have a high stock market portfolio and you've had the light on you for years, princess."
My remark had more subtle text to it then what Roman was getting. But Roman being Roman probably just ignored me on that message or not, because his next sentence told me he knew what I meant.
Roman shut the door after e entering the hotel room and grabbed me, spinning me to him. "I'm not ever leaving you alone." He said darkly to me before placing his lips on mine.
🌸
Romans POV
Even though the topic of Grace's pregnancy was greatly avoided throughout the day, as soon as we were in the privacy of the hotel room, I had Grace against a wall, sucking on her neck and kissing her lips as she moaned into my mouth.
It has been a very long week without her nearby and I found myself completely bored, even doing work from home. We were both on holidays and still had a few days left and I didn't want to waste it anymore.
Grace was asleep next to me, her back bare from everything as I propped my head on to my hand and watched her sleep.
It was still early, her soft snores filled the room and I was grinning.
I missed this immensely. Listening to her snore. Touching her smooth skin and tracing the intricate designs of her tattoos. The way she sleeps it makes me smile every time.
Grace isn't very... graceful. She was on her stomach, the blanket barely covering her backside, one leg straight down the bed, the other crooked in to my legs. One of her hands was under her pillow and the other was off the side of the bed. I watched as her nose twitched, the corner of her lips also twitched as her mouth was partly open.
I spent all day a couple days ago on the computer, searching for adventurous but easy things for her to do, outside activities. I know she is an outside adventurer and yesterday we lazily walked a few kilometres up and down the beach.
Today, I wanted to take her some where, country. Away from the city. I didn't want to disturb her though. She looked so peaceful and angelic here, in bed, next to me and naked. My arm drapped over her.
I love her. I really do. I watched her face as her eyelids started to flutter. Her long lashes were moving and slowly her golden eyes came into view.
"Morning." I whispered, leaning forward, pecking her plump lips.
She let out a small moan and smile as her answer before she rolled over on to her back. "What time is it?" She murmured to me.
"I don't know." I answered as I watched her face contort.
Grace's eyes went wide. Her lips pouted and then a hand flew to her mouth as she kicked off the blankets and ran out off the room.
I sat up, watching her leave, her milky skin slightly pinkish red from the sun and her messy blonde hair flying around her as she slammed the door shut. "Grace?" I called out as I got out off bed. I picked up a pair of shorts from last night and put them on, hopping to the bathroom door.
What I heard through the wooden door was not pretty. Grace was hurling in to the toilet. Several minutes later, I heard the toilet flush and taps turning on, letting me know water was running.
I knocked on the door, calling for her. I couldn't get in to the bathroom, Grace had locked the door.
After several more minutes, the water stopped and Grace stepped out with a towel wrapped around her.
"Are you okay?" I asked her in my concern.
"I'm fine." She snapped as she went back in to the bedroom. She had a toothbrush hanging out off her mouth as she went through some clothes.
"Grace, talk to me." I said in a hopefully, undemanding way. I pouted my lips as I watched her disappear again. "Hurry up. We'll get some breakfast." I pushed at her.
"Uh, yeah." Grace called out from the bathroom.
"Some pancakes, bacon and eggs?" I asked her, waiting for a reply. I don't know exactly about her eating habits this past week, but I know she is gaining weight and Grace is not happy about it.
"Uh, no. No. I'll have a small fruit platter."
I sighed in frustration. Of course she would. She only had salad yesterday when we ate and that was a late lunch early dinner thing. And that was meatless as well. I don't know if she has been keeping up with her iron tablets but I'll take her to the doctors when we get back home, even if I have to drag her there.
*****
After her little spit about breakfast, we were in the car, a good hour later and we were nearly at our destination.
Grace had napped after yelling at me about making her eat her eggs and bacon, her mood had taken a foul turn.
The scenery was amazing. The green meadows and cows and very little traffic once I got off the highway.
Grace was snoring softly and snorted herself awake coughing while I suppressed a grin.
"Where are we?" She yawned as she rubbed her eyes.
"Nearly there." I said softly to her.
I could picture the frown on her face but kept my eyes on the road.
"Roman?" I could hear the hesitation in her voice.
"Yes princess?" I flicked at the indicator before turning the corner.
"I'm sorry."
It was a small squeak but I heard it. I quickly looked over at her as I saw Grace pick at her fingernails. I took her hand and placed it in mine, kissing the back off her hand.
"I know."
"No, I am sorry for earlier." I could hear the truth in her tone. "You said you didn't know how to handle my mood swings, but I'm the one throwing them. I don't mean to put you in the fire line for it, I don't mean to..."
I did? I blinked several times, staring ahead of me. "What did I say?" I asked cautiously.
"It doesn't matter." Grace said softly. "But you are right so I'm sorry. I know you just want to care for me, I know that you love me. I told you, I haven't done this before." She swirled her hand around pointing to us both.
The last five minute stretch of the drive was just basic chatter as Grace kept staring put the window. I pulled in to a small car park, enough for about five cars and we were the only ones here.
"So where are we?" Grace asked again when we stepped out off the car.
I took her hand and locked my BMW, leading Grace down a worn down dirt path.