Jisoo didn't know why but she felt like there's a lump on her throat, preventing her from talking properly. It must be the reason that she became speechless with what her bestfriend said. They were still staring at each other and it would've been a funny showdown of gazes if not for the still intense one Chaeyoung had.
"So you..." Jisoo cleared her throat and looked down. "You... I can't understand... is that... I mean--"
"No, I don't like her this time around. I'll be way too stupid to do that after what she did." Chaeyoung finished off for her but something else was bugging Jisoo.
'Chaeyoung... am I the one you like now?'
"I love you, unnie."
Jisoo blinked continuous with what she heard or seemed to have heard. "W-What? Huh?!"
"You were talking out loud so I figured you deserve an answer."
"Well I'm just..."
Chaeyoung smiled a bit and Jisoo could become deaf with the pounding of her heart. She wondered though what that could mean. She wiped the sweat that ran down her nape.
The brunette held onto her hand and pulled lightly on it as she led them to sit again. Jisoo was thankful or else she'd burn under the sun. They were silent once they were seated and Chaeyoung let out a small sigh.
"I always ask you for the truth but I haven't told you anything that happened before, right? So maybe I'll start from here and let you decide the rest."
'Truth?'
"When I first arrived here in the school, I was lost and confused. I had no one I know, I didn't know how things go around here. Believe me, students asking for your family name and social status was the normal greeting here instead of the hi and hello or what's your name and it's nice to meet you." Chaeyoung chuckled a bit and the other girl realized it was really nothing new. "I didn't have any friends and I went to the school clinic not because I'm sick but because I just want to phone my parents to ask them to fetch me."
"Then I saw her. That Jennie Kim they're all talking about for multiple reasons. Of course, I didn't know anything about her, let alone that it was her that time. And... she was really pretty, you know." She smiled and looked at Jisoo. "It's like seeing sleeping beauty and you don't know if you just want to wake her up and talk to her. Or if you want to keep staring at her for long hours. Does that happen to you?"
Jisoo was reluctant but she nodded. "Y-Yeah... sometimes."
"I doubt your sometimes, unnie. Be honest." She nudged her and smiled sideways. "You've been staring at her longer than waking her up in the morning, right? And let's not forget she's a heavy sleeper."
'Chaeyoung knows too much... She knows that much about Jennie?'
"More than I could admit." Jisoo sighed a bit and smiled shyly. "Her face is calm and so much different to the little daredevil face she makes when awake."
"She looks an angel. Heck, I thought it was an angel and the first person I thought of was you. Because I wanted to ask if you fell from the same part of the skies." Chaeyoung looked down that prevented her from seeing the blush on Jisoo's face. "Then she woke up... and I never thought that time that she's actually that little queen bee Jennie Kim. How could I when there's nothing like that death glare, killer smirk or sharp tongue that people use to describe her?"
"Instead, she was calling out for her mom. 'Umma... umma, why did you leave me?' I've never heard anyone who had been desperately longing for someone. Except one." Those words, the words Chaeyoung repeated from Jennie pricked Jisoo's heart. She knew too well how that one line could mean to a little girl. With the look of her bestfriend and a quick hold onto her hand, she knew Chaeyoung understood why she became unresponsive. "I'm not saying you two are the same. But at that time... I told myself that if ever I was to find a new friend, I hoped it was someone similar to you. And that... what she said hit too close."
"But... Jennie has her mom... and..." Jisoo spoke slowly.
The latter shrugged and let out a breath. "I never got to ask her. Of all the things, I've learned from Jennie... she's a very private person. So even if it seems like she's showing a secret part of her to you, you shouldn't let it get to your head that you're the only one who has the upperhand compared to those who stand by her side all this time."
Jisoo put on a confused expression. "I've never thought I have the upperhand--"
"Really? You want me to tell you what I think and see every time you and Mino clash words for the I-know-her-more-than-you-do stuff? Or when you try to show that loving care to her like Lisa who's whipped for her 24/7?" She wet her lips and with what Chaeyoung's saying. "Or what about when you always ask Bobby about her because you think you could trick him into giving you answers Jennie hesitates to tell you?"
Jisoo squinted her eyes because those just sound purely wrong to her ears. "Chaeyoung, I don't do that and it's not my intention--"
"But you do. You unconciously do, unnie. She's like a black hole pulling you into her so deep and before you know it, there's nothing but dark abyss for you." Chaeyoung shook her head and the older girl could see the slight look of pity in her eyes. "That's one of the effects Jennie has on people and when she gets tired of you, when she wants to get rid of you, when she as much as feel bored with your presence..."
"Let me guess... she'll push me away? Or would she--"
"She'll do worse. She'll make you think, make it believable that trying to befriend her was the worst decision in your life." She paused and the next words came in almost a whisper. "And maybe it really was. You'll end up with endless hurting."
"I won't."
"If you think you won't then stop it from getting any further. Don't give her that kind of attention, unnie. Sure, you like her and all but know the limit. You can't trust her easily. Please don't do that... I'm enough example."
"Did she..." She tried to speak clearly but the thought of Chaeyoung going through the same thing she had, set a bitter taste in her mouth. She wouldn't ever forgive anyone who hurt her bestfriend. But she doesn't understand why a part of her kept telling her it's a different case with Jennie. "What happened between the two of you?"
"I've became her friend. I thought I was her bestfriend. I thought I was everything good she ever had and deserve because she was vocal about it. Then, as fast as a snap, she was anything but that to me. Suddenly, I can see her for who she really is." She smiled sadly and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. "Her voice didn't sound like melody in my ears anymore. Her words weren't a ray of warmth. Everything she did wasn't supportive, only disappointing. So... I've had enough."
"You called it quits?"
"That would've happened if we were in a relationship." Chaeyoung chuckled at her own words.
Jisoo frowned at her. "I thought you said she made you heartbroken..."
"Are heartbreaks always caused by a romantic reason?"
"Oh... so you..." Chaeyoung raised an eyebrow. "I thought you became a couple."
'They weren't in a relationship then...'
Chaeyoung only smiled at her and stared out at the scene in front of them. There wasn't any more tension in the air. But it's like it was still awkward to get a word in.
"But, Chaeng..." Jisoo tried even with her voice being weak. If all of these came from other people, she wouldn't mind it one bit. But now it was coming from her bestfriend who talks as if she had really experienced it beforehand. Who talks like she's a primary source of information. "I don't think that'll happen... I don't like her in that way--"
"You sure about that?" She cut her off, making Jisoo scrunch her face more. "Because I know how you are, unnie. And I've never seen you care so much for someone. Even if compared with me."
"Chaeyoung, I care so much for you." Jisoo shook her head, her sincerity begging for the latter's eyes to believe her. "So that's not true. You're my bestfriend. You're like my sister. We're family."
"I know. But sometimes... someone does get in between even with families. And no, I don't blame you for it." Chaeyoung quickly said before Jisoo could say anything more to deny it. "I love you so much, unnie, and I don't want to see you get hurt. Because your heartbreaks could be mine too."
Jisoo pursed her lips and looked down. Suddenly, it felt harder to stare into those orbs. "But Chaeyoung-ah... what if she could really change? What if there's more to Jennie than what you see now?"
"Maybe I haven't given you enough reasons." The younger girl laughed bitterly and shook her head, it's clear that her mind was already made up. "You see those cheerleaders over there? There was a time I was part of them and I really thought we were all friends. But you don't pay your friends. It's not a simple give and take of things you get from each other. I, on the other hand, thought that was fine. But then I confronted them about it."
"So they... what? Unfriended you?"
"And pulled stunts that could really get anyone killed when you're part of the squad." She shook her head which deepened the frown on Jisoo's face. "I still stayed though because I love what I was doing. They're the worst plastic people you'll ever meet. They're all pretty and nice but the only one who I've shared my secrets was Jennie. Yeah, we were that close. Or so I thought." She added as she saw the question in Jisoo's eyes. "A lot of girls were already talking bad about me and a few students told me to be careful even with Jennie. Then I ended up with a broken ankle."
A sullen feeling hit Jisoo, making her gulp before asking. "Did she--"
"It was when we're doing a stunt. I don't want to point fingers but something went really wrong in doing something that was so easy. So I ask my friends about it." She rolled her eyes and the older girl could already tell where her bestfriend's going with the story. "They blamed me for getting the landing wrong and everything when they were the ones who didn't catch me. I tried to threaten them by saying I'll report them. Then they started pointing fingers until Jennie's name was brought up."
Jisoo turned her head so fast. "What?"
"It was a plan." Chaeyoung sighed, a heavy one that was like she carried the whole world on her back. "They told me they were payed for it. There was some intent, yes. But Jennie was the one who asked for it."
"That's impossible. Jennie wouldn't have--"
"You know..." Chaeyoung cut her off and threw her a sideways smile. "That's actually the exact same thing I told them."
Jisoo shook her head in disbelief. Chaeyoung should know better than believing those girls. "You should've asked her directly."
"I did. Like the way they told me to." She paused for a bit and Jisoo saw a tear escaped her eyes. "And just like they said... Jennie didn't deny a single word."
'No... god please no...'
"She was even more upfront about it. Said that she's been finding ways to get rid of me. To get me out of her life because even when she continuously push me away with her mean side, I come right back. She said she didn't want to see much of me that she was willing to concede to anything that will stop me from hanging around her. Because I was too much of a reminder, I was too much of that goody two shoes and she... doesn't want one bit of it."
"Maybe... she was forced--"
Chaeyoung scoffed loudly. "Jennie Kim being forced? Can someone actually have the authority for that? Even the principal would submit to her."
"I mean..." Jisoo wasn't actually confused. That wasn't the first time she became aware of Jennie pulling the strings or at least being the one to have a final say. "Maybe she had a reason..."
"See? This is why I want you to stop being so into her!" The brunette stood up in frustration. "You keep saying that maybe she has a reason but have you ever thought about yourself losing your own reason because you prioritize her?!"
"I haven't lost my reason, Chaeyoung-ah!"
"But you've become so attached to her, your feelings are blinding you from the truth!" She used her hand to gesture at Jisoo. "You weren't like this before! Too many proofs are enough to make you decide the right thing but you seem to be blocking all of those or just listening to them in one ear then forgetting it all at once. The right thing for you is to leave her side and stop chasing after something hopeless--"
"And the right thing for everyone is to help her!" Chaeyoung scoffed yet again that Jisoo feel like she was really defending Jennie. She calmed herself down before she does another outburst like Chaeyoung did. The girl already put a judgemental front for her. "She can be better. Everyone deserves a chance. And I've seen it... Jennie's not completely hopeless."
"Unbelievable." She crossed her arms and shook her head in dismay. "And now you're telling me you don't like her or have fucking feelings for her."
"Is everything always caused by a romantic reason?" Chaeyoung's brows meet as Jisoo repeated those words. Her own words. She smiled a bit and came closer to her. It doesn't seem like it could work its usual wonders on her bestfriend's face that quickly though. "Chaeyoung, I don't like her in that way."
"Yet you act less overprotective to me even when you just heard my story about her."
"I am protective over you."
"You not lashing out or trying to beat up the person who caused me pain is a new way of showing it." She answered with spite. "Actually, let me ask you. Are you still the best friend I know?"
Jisoo went up to hug her. The latter talking in distaste and malice was one thing she never expected yet she was still accepting it. The revelation was a heavy one to admit to anyone. The pain it left behind obviously marred the younger girl, causing her to act this way.
"I am. No one's changing me for worse. I know you love me and I still feel the same." She felt the latter wrapping her arms on her back. "I love you, Chaeyoung, and I'll thank you every day if I can for caring for me every chance you get."
They remained like that for a long time. It was like what other people see and think of them didn't matter. The hug both felt comfortable and safe that it did ail whatever inflict of pain they were grieving over.
Chaeyoung's muffled voice came from her shoulder. "I'm sorry. For surprising you and acting this way."
"It's okay." Jisoo smiled at her and caressed her hair.
"It's just... I don't want you to like her. You can't like her, unnie. You can go after anyone you want just not her." Chaeyoung pulled back from the hug. She took her hand and their gazes met as if sparks would flow from them any moment. "You're too good to be true and I don't think anyone deserves you but if needed... I'd rather you'd be with me than her."
~***~
"There's a Cream of Mushroom soup. Or if you prefer Pumpkin soup, there's also that." Ji Woo suggested to Jennie who was almost furrowing her eyebrows as the head maid kept giving more than 5 options per course. "But if you want, we can cook Nido soup--"
"Sounds nice. Though that would mean getting the saliva of that particular small bird in the mountains--"
"I'll ask to get the helicopter ready and get the essential ingredient needed."
"Ji Woo ahjumma..." Jennie called out to the older woman while Jisoo stood up and prevented her from going any further. As much as loyalty goes... the head maid wasn't kidding even if Jennie could be at any point.
"Cream of mushroom would be fine." Jisoo said after preventing a loud laugh escape from her.
"Ani, Jisoo-ssi. Jennie ahgassi wants that Nido soup so that's what we'll get for her--"
"Just go with the first option. That would be fine like Jisoo said." Jennie cut her off.
"No, ahgassi, if you really want that then we'll make the most delicious one--"
"Ji Woo..." Jennie held the bridge of her nose and smiled as if in pain. "The Cream of Mushroom would be fine. I want it. I crave it. So just serve it as fast as you can."
"Understood." The finality in her voice eased the younger girl's expression. "15 minutes, ahgassi."
"Make that 10."
"We'll serve it in 5."
Ji Woo bowed and scurried off towards the kitchen. Jisoo eyed Jennie who simply shrugged. The older girl took her seat in front of Jennie by then. They were playing scrabbles when the head maid came to ask what she wanted for dinner. Maybe it was because it was their job but Jisoo once again proved that even the staffs spoil Jennie too much.
"Unbelievable."
Jennie looked up from getting a replacement for her letters. "I wasn't serious when I said in 10 minutes."
"But she was."
"Yeah, she obviously was." She replied nonchantly. "Hey, I didn't ask for it. It's just a natural response from them."
"Not like you can't control it. But you could make their lives easier." Jisoo placed her letters on the board. She gave a huge smile as she counted the points. "Zelkova. That's 46 points since it's double word score."
"And?"
"Compared to cherry blossoms tree, Zelkova is the ornamental Japanese tree that I like more."
The two girls were playing scrabble with a twist. Every time they place a word, they both have to use it in a sentence and it should be a fact about theirselves. Additional points to a valid one given. She's tutoring Jennie and getting to know her more through the simple game. It was killing two birds with one stone. Though that also meant giving information about herself too.
"Because?"
"Because it prevented this disease from spreading before."
"Chill, baby girl. One subject at a time. Save your being a science geek for next time."
"That's plus 10 points. She smiled when Jennie rolled her eyes as if she dreaded this kind of answer. "And it's actually History--"
"Save it." Jisoo nipped her lips when Jennie cut her off. She watched as the latter used the tripple word score block and placed a letter Q on it. "Queasy. That's a total of 54 points."
"In one sentence?"
"I feel queasy after riding a roller coaster or any fast ride."
"Is that a fact?" Jisoo tallied their score and though they were neck to neck, now she wondered more than ever how Jennie seems to perfectly know how to win. Or that she knows too many words for a girl with a failing grade.
"Do you want to go to an amusement park with me and prove it?" Her eyes twinkled when she smiled at her.
"You flirt." Jisoo avoided her gaze and looked somewhere else. "Go study first before asking me on a date."
"I don't need to study, Jaesu." Jisoo nodded, acting like she believed her. Though when tutoring the younger girl, it allowed her to know how smart she really is. "I can ace all my exams and then take you with me to an amusement park afterwards."
"That's like every shoujo anime's beiginning of a love story." She looked up at the younger girl having a smug smile. "And I'm not falling for it. Severe. 17 points for the triple letter score for letter V."
"Oh! How about... 'Kim Jisoo is going into a severe cardiac attack when she thinks of being alone in one place with the hot, incredible and too good to be true Jennie Kim.'" Jisoo rolled her eyes again with what Jennie said. "That's why she'll deny the kids for another chance in Lotte."
The latter blinked at her example. "What do you mean?"
"Who said I was taking you to a date? I was thinking of bringing the kids from last time to an amusement so they can have fun and all again." Jennie smirked as Jisoo dropped her jaw. "You're the babysitter. Not me. So I need you to take care of them."
Jisoo warmed up to the thought of Jennie playing with Jong Seob and the others. She wondered if anyone also felt like that when they see Jennie around kids. She didn't want the latter to see her softening her gaze but maybe she did. Because Jennie's look was teasing and Jisoo felt like she needed to retort with a tease too.
"Just like you need me to take care of the big baby that you are?"
"In case you haven't notice... I'm using clutches." She eyed the walking instrument beside her. "I clearly need someone to take care of me."
Jisoo chuckled and shook her head. The smile on Jennie's face remained as it was her turn to place an answer. The older girl suddenly remembered she hasn't use the recent word she answered. "I still think you will severely hurt me."
All of Chaeyoung's words from the morning didn't leave her mind. She was just thinking how she can bring it up to Jennie. They just recently started acting like how they normally do. Fun and easygoing with their conversations. Asking her about a past seems like a wrong move.
Jisoo values Chaeyoung and feel for her but somehow a strong instict told her that confronting the younger girl would mean she doesn't trust her one bit. The opposite of what she's trying to make Jennie think. So all that leaves Jisoo is a nagging thought that what happened to her bestfriend could also happen to her.
"You're wrong." Jennie answered in a heartbeat and Jisoo doesn't like it. Doesn't like how her heart skipped a beat. "The word is severe, Jisoo. Not severely. Use the adjective and not the adverb. Your 10 points is voided."
"Oh. My bad. " She smiled but somehow it wasn't as wide as usual. 'Of course. What were you thinking? Now you lost points.' Jisoo laughed a bit and fiddled with the new letters she picked. "I could've used another 10. Gee. That hurts..."
'Babo, Jisoo. Babo!'
Jisoo became silent for awhile as Jennie took her time to place her next word. She put a letter Y beside a letter E already on the board. The word was done in an across direction and Jisoo just watched her.
"I will."
Jisoo looked up again yet Jennie wasn't looking at her. "Hmm?"
"I will hurt you. In the future, there's no doubt about that but..." Jennie finally finished the word on the board that made Jisoo read it upside down. Yearn. She then stared Jisoo straight in the eye, causing some tummy turning to the latter as she did. "I don't want to. I will never yearn to hurt you, Jisoo."
》》》》》》》
I was supposed to post this after the day I posted the previous one. But I was preoccupied for personal reasons... hope you understand. (:
Thank you for waiting and still reading. 🖤