Harry didn't sleep a wink and it had nothing to do with the fact that the chair he was given to sleep in was the most uncomfortable chair he'd ever been in. Anytime Elena stirred or made the slightest noise Harry was up out of the chair in a shot making sure she was alright. And he was obsessed with the sound of her heart monitor and the baby's. If they deviated from their rhythm at all he had a mini heart attack.
Shockingly enough, he felt no resentment towards Elena for the fact that she fell asleep and stayed comfortably asleep. She needed it.
When the sun finally lit up the room the next morning Harry was relieved they had all made it through the night without incident. He heard Elena start to stir and he quickly pulled himself out of his mini depression. He wiped his hand over his face and smiled when her eyes opened to focus on him,
"Morning." He greeted, "Are you hungry?"
Elena shook her head,
"No. Water would be nice though."
Harry reached over to grab the water glass he'd poured earlier and hand it to her. He watched while she drank. The color had returned to her face and the tension in her body was gone. Whatever had happened to cause her pains was apparently over. Harry felt like a complete idiot. Whether or not he'd caused it he didn't know, but no doctor would ever be able to convince him otherwise. The entire time he'd been awake had been spent monitoring Elena but also beating himself up.
Elena finished drinking. She set the glass down,
"What time is it?"
"Almost nine. Dr. Daniels just got in. She came in earlier. She was gonna get settled and then get back down here as soon as she could."
Elena was still a little off kilter from the ordeal, but mostly because as if someone had flipped a switch she and Harry seemed to let go of their issues. She wasn't naive enough to believe that was the end of the problem, but at least they were being civil to each other.
Harry cleared his throat,
"Len I-"
"Well look who's awake?" Dr. Daniels voice broke into the room.
Harry quickly clapped his mouth shut as he turned towards her. She smiled at Elena,
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm alright today. A little tired."
Dr. Daniels nodded,
"I don't doubt it." She took a breath, glancing between them before she turned to close the door.
Harry and Elena looked between each other and then back at her.
Dr. Daniels turned back to them,
"Elena, your stress levels have been..." She looked at Harry and then back at Elena, "You have been very stressed out. And stress is not conducive to a problem free pregnancy." She looked at Harry again, "Limiting your stress is very very important."
Elena nodded,
"I know. I just...I will limit my stress I promise."
"We discussed that continuing to stay active was important. Continuing to play soccer is important to you and I understand that, but that makes it even more imperative that you limit other stress factors." She glanced between Harry and Elena again, "Am I understood?"
They both nodded.
A warm smile spread over the doctor's face,
"You have been discharged then. I'll see you at your next appointment."
Harry turned to look at Elena. He quirked his eyebrows,
"Um..." He gestured to the bathroom, "Go ahead and change in the bathroom. I'll wait out here."
---------------------
Harry walked out into the hallway. The room was like a pressure cooker. He just needed a minute to breath. The room was stifling. He felt hot and sweaty and like he was about to burst out of his skin.
He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt light headed. Maybe he was coming down with something. Spending the night in the hospital probably wasn't the best idea.
He took a deep breath as he finally decided to take a small walk to calm himself down. He turned towards the elevators, pressing the down button. He braced his hands against the wall and dropped his head. That's when he heard his name,
"Harry?"
He lifted his head to see Randy and Niall walking out of the elevator right next to the one where he'd been standing. They both walked towards him,
"Everythin' alright?" Niall asked.
"Are you leaving?" Randy asked at the same time.
Harry's attempt to get a breath was gone. He stared back at them for a moment before he snapped back into his body,
"Yeah. I mean no." He closed his eyes to gather himself before opening them again, "Everything is fine." He said as he looked at Niall, "And no, I'm not leaving. I mean...I was just going to get some fresh air. Elena is changing so we can leave."
Niall and Randy's faces registered the same confusion he felt. Niall raised one eyebrow,
"So...y-you're not fightin'?"
Harry shook his head,
"No. We're not. Dr. Daniels said she needed to limit stress."
Niall snorted,
"So you leavin' town?" The smile disappeared on his face when he saw Harry's lack of amusement, "Too soon."
Randy shook her head at Niall,
"I-is she...going home with you?"
Harry shook his head instantly, a little shocked by the reaction,
"No."
"Why not?" Randy asked.
"Because we aren't...we can't..." Harry stopped, "She's not coming home with me."
Niall narrowed his eyes at Harry,
"So you're still pissed at her."
Harry's defenses shot up,
"Yes Niall. It's not something you get over in one night."
"Well it could be if ya weren't bein' a prick." Niall pointed out.
Harry opened his mouth to start yelling when Randy interrupted,
"Niall, why don't you go see how Elena is doing?" Niall looked down at her for a split second before shrugging and walking towards Elena's room. Randy waited until he was out of earshot before she took Harry's arm and directed him to a quiet corner, "Harry, what is going on?"
Harry shrugged,
"I don't know. I feel...guilty. We were arguing when this happened. Just screaming venom at each other. And she started having issues. And she was in danger. And I feel like I'm going to throw up." Harry said as he put his hands on his knees while he bent over.
Randy watched him come apart at the seams. She put her hand on his back,
"Deep breaths."
It was clear, at least to Randy, that Harry was deep in a crisis. He had finally realized the consequences of behavior and probably started to realize the pain he'd been trying to ignore. She rubbed his back,
"Maybe it's time for you to sit down and talk to her." Harry didn't answer. He just blinked. She continued on with her prodding, "Maybe it's time for you forgive-"
Harry shot up suddenly,
"I can't do that."
Randy frowned,
"Why? Harry it's been enough time. Holding onto this is starting to affect your health."
"Randy...you are the one person who hasn't given me shit about this. Don't start giving me shit now."
Randy raised her eyebrows,
"Giving you shit? Harry it's gotten out of hand now. You're holding onto this for what reason? You're going to regret it."
Harry was about to answer when he stopped. He shook his head,
"Forget it." He said softly as he turned and walked back to Elena's room.
Niall walked past him, shooting Harry a dirty look as he approached Randy. Niall shook his head,
"Let's get outta here." He said as he pushed the button for the elevator.
---------------------
Elena and Harry were silent as silent could be on their way back to Andrea's apartment. It felt odd, the two of them in a car together again but not heading to the same house. Harry didn't even think that had happened when they were starting out, much less still in love.
Thankfully, Andrea wasn't home when they got into the apartment. She left a note saying she was out getting groceries and she'd be back later. Elena figured she just didn't want to be around when Harry was there. Which was fair. Andrea wasn't his biggest fan at the moment.
Elena spent the car ride home holding in tears. She couldn't help but feel all of this was wrong. The way they'd been treating each other, the entire thing, it was all wrong.
And she didn't want to participate in the anger any longer. She just wanted peace and quiet for the remainder of her pregnancy.
Harry set down her coat on the chair. He could feel something was off, though that didn't mean a whole lot. "Something" had been off for quite a while.
Still, he was uneasy and it wasn't due to the obvious.
Elena was staring down at the floor. She seemed to be working something out.
Harry took a breath,
"Do you need anything?" He asked softly.
Elena shook her head but didn't speak. She turned to look at him and that's when Harry could see her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Given the mood he'd been in concerning her pain lately, it shouldn't have mattered to him. But it did. Seeing Elena in pain was never something Harry had been able to stand. And that hadn't changed.
She quickly looked down, embarrassed by the fact that she was so emotional. She didn't want him to know he still had such an effect on her feelings. But he did.
"Um. I know we haven't really been on the same page lately. And I know that's my fault." She started, "I understand your anger."
Harry stayed quiet, though his body felt like he was about to crawl out of his skin.
Elena's voice shook,
"I am so intensely sorry for everything. I wish I had the words to tell you how-" She stopped abruptly due to the onslaught of tears urging to come out of her eyes. Her breath hitched, "But I'm not going to keep up with this game we have going. To see who can hurt the other the most. I don't want us to end up hating each other when he finally gets here."
Harry felt his hands start to shake. What was this? He knew what it was. She was letting him go. He took a step towards her though she continued talking,
"So I'm gonna...bow out."
Harry stopped, his breath catching in his throat as he nervously licked his lips,
"What does that mean?" He asked softly, "Bow out? What are you saying?"
Elena finally lifted her eyes to his,
"I'm saying that...I can't anymore."
"Can't? Elena...what does-"
"I'm l-" She stopped, "Letting you go. Us go."
The words hit Harry right in the sweet spot of his gut. He felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of him. Sure, they hadn't really been the healthiest relationship lately, but letting each other go? Harry couldn't fathom it. In all of his anger, he'd never entertained the idea that they were truly over. Though, to be honest, Harry hadn't entertained very much since the day Elena had walked out of his house. He'd been stuck in the same moment the entire time.
He cleared his throat, his eyes squinting to keep the tears away. He felt disconnected from his body.
"Elena...I-"
"Friends." Elena interrupted, "I think we were friends anyway, right?" Harry nodded.
He wanted to scream out. He wanted to say something. He wanted to ask her not to do this. Give him time. Let him work it out. But his mouth wouldn't work.
Elena sniffed, her shoulders shrugging gently,
"I don't wanna hurt you any more than I already have."
Harry finally gave a slight nod of his head.
Elena stared back at him. Saying the words had been so much harder than she expected. She'd spent the last 24 hours trying to figure out how to let him go, knowing full well it's what he needed. And just the thought tore her heart out. But she'd done the adult thing. She'd gotten through it.
It hurt like hell.
She smiled weakly,
"So..."
Harry opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Again all he could do was give a slight nod of his head. Dr. Daniels face and voice rang through his mind. Elena didn't need stress. It could make her pregnancy rough.
Elena cleared her throat,
"Dr. Daniels wants us at an appointment next week. Just to make sure everything is going well. I figure we can find out the sex then, since we didn't get to last time. Then we can....tell..." Elena let her sentence trail off.
Harry felt like there was no air in his lungs. But he nodded again,
"Alright." He said it so softly he wasn't sure if she'd heard him. But she had.
He backed up towards the door, their eyes never breaking from each others even as his hand missed the doorknob and then grabbed it again.
Elena watched him open the door. He blinked once, turned his head and walked out. She closed her eyes, listening to the door click shut after he'd gone.
Harry kept his hand on the doorknob. His body warred with itself over opening it again. When his hand finally dropped to his side, he took a breath.
---------------------
Andrea spent the night sitting with Elena on the couch while she cried like something had broken inside of her. The tears would subside for a bit, but then come raging in like a tidal wave moments later. Andrea guessed whenever Elena had been reminded of something to do with Harry.
Andrea was scared that Elena might get so stressed she would need another visit to the hospital. But it didn't look like that was going to happen tonight.
Tonight, Elena just needed to cry everything out. Would it be the last time she cried? Probably not. But she'd let go of arguably the most important person in her life and there was going to be some intense emotions.
So Andrea stayed quiet and held her hand because it's all she could do to help.
---------------------
It took Elena a week to get up enough strength to move from her bed. The night she'd let go of Harry had hardly been the last time she'd cried by a long shot. But Elena wasn't a girl who lived in misery and pain.
She still had goals to reach. And it was time she got back to achieving them.
So despite the heaviness in her heart, she got up and she forced some breakfast down her throat and she put on her sweats and she drove to practice.
Her trainer mentioned how tight her muscles were. And her teammates mentioned her baby bump. Her coaches were thrilled her footwork was still strong though her stamina had taken a hit. Elena was shocked that was all that had taken a hit considering her feet felt like cement weights.
Still, it felt good to be productive and to get out on the field with her teammates again. There was an upcoming game and Elena needed to be ready.
Andrea jogged into the locker room after practice. She plopped down next to Elena with a wide smile pasted on her face,
"How ya feelin', Ben? Looked pretty good out there."
Elena shrugged as she pulled her shin guards off,
"Alright. Can't run as fast..."
Andrea laughed,
"Course not...you're carryin' a load."
Elena looked down at her baby bump which seemed to grow more and more with each passing day,
"He's a little mover today too."
Andrea's eyes lit up,
"Can you feel him?"
"Not right now."
Andrea frowned,
"Of course not while I'm here..." Andrea's smile faded as she looked up at her friend. She knew Elena was struggling, but Andrea tried to keep up a happy facade anyway. She figured it might be contagious, "Wanna go grab some lunch with the girls? Everyone is looking to go grab some burgers."
Elena shook her head as she tossed her muddy cleat into her locker,
"I'm gonna go get a sandwich and head home. I'm tired and I think I should rest. Got that appointment tomorrow anyway."
Andrea again tried her best to smile,
"Oh right. The sex. Hoping for a boy? Or a little girl? Ugh...you'd be so cute with either one."
Elena couldn't help but smile. The thought of having a little boy or a little girl chasing after her with a soccer ball that was almost as big as they were was emotional for her. She didn't realize she'd wanted it as badly as she did.
---------------------
Randy was again, running late. Later than usual which wasn't out of the ordinary but still enough to give her such bad anxiety she almost couldn't breath. She figured stopping to grab some lunch for her co-workers which was just a clever cover for actually bringing food for her boss. At least then he might not give her shit for being so late.
She anxiously stood in line, shifting from foot to foot as she looked up at the clock on the wall. She could've sworn the seconds were going by quicker than usual. When she finally made it to the counter she spit out her order at the cashier and handed over her money. Thankfully the place wasn't too busy so her order should be ready momentarily.
She took a seat at one of the tables and pulled her phone out. Halfway through a game of Candy Crush she thought she heard her name. She didn't bother to look up, clearly she was hearing things. There was no way anyone knew her here.
But then she heard it again.
Randy looked up then. She studied the nearly empty sandwich shop before her eyes fell on a figure in front of her. A figure she knew.
Elena.
Randy felt her heart land in her feet. In her haste to shove her phone away, she missed her purse pocket sending her phone flipping to the floor.
"Shit." She swore.
Elena quickly knelt down to pick it up,
"Here."
"No!" Randy yelled, sheepishly glancing around at the confused faces of the employees. She cleared her throat, "You shouldn't be bending down."
Elena couldn't help but giggle,
"Well if that was true then I'd be in real trouble considering there's no way to shave your legs without bending down."
Randy nodded,
"Right."
She felt so stupid she decided staying quiet was probably the best way to handle things. She knew what had happened between Harry and Elena. When Harry had arrived at home after that night, he was distraught. Niall used the word though Randy suspected he wanted to use something far worse when he'd told Randy what happened, but Niall didn't want to scare her. Niall said Harry had barely said two words since. He walked around the house like someone who had lost everything.
Niall and Randy both figured he kind of had.
Elena felt the awkward silence, knowing full well that Randy probably knew what had happened after the hospital. She gestured to the menu,
"Is this place good?"
Randy shrugged,
"It's m-my first time here."
"Oh." She glanced back at the cashier, "I'll just take The Bricklayer." She said after she read the menu.
Randy watched as Elena paid. She wasn't expecting Elena to sit at the table with her, but that's exactly what she did.
Elena's eyes met Randy's in a calm stare that wasn't meant to be intimidating in the least even though it was for Randy.
Elena took a breath,
"I assume you know..."
Randy didn't want to volunteer anything, so she kept quiet.
Elena continued,
"It's better this way."
"How so?" Randy asked before she could stop herself.
Elena blinked,
"We were spending a lot of time hurting each other. I don't wanna hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him. And when the baby is born, we are going to have to do this together. It's up to him and I to raise this kid. We can't do that if we're at each other's throats."
Randy raised her eyebrows. Niall and Harry had both described Elena as a woman at genius levels when it came to the sport she loved as well as the people she loved. She was level headed and honest in a way that other people weren't. Niall once said that Elena's honesty wasn't upsetting. Elena just didn't know how to be dishonest to those she loved.
Randy figured that's probably why Harry had such a hard time with her lying to him.
"What's that face?" Elena asked, sending Randy crashing back into her body.
"What?" Randy asked as she jumped.
"You made a face. Like what I said shocked you."
Randy shook her head immediately,
"No. You're right. I mean...that's a really mature way of handling things."
Elena shrugged,
"Guess I should start being mature eventually. I am gonna be a mother." She met Randy's eyes, "I mean...now he's free and clear...for you anyway, right?"
Randy stared back at Elena. Had Harry told her they weren't dating. Something told her he had but Elena just didn't believe him.
Randy shook her head,
"Elena, we..." She stopped, realizing she had to say this just right so Elena might at least believe her.
Randy chewed on her thumbnail for a moment before she finally spoke,
"Harry will never be free and clear." She finally said.
"What do you mean?" Elena asked softly after a moment.
"Don't you know? You have to know." Randy answered in a voice just a s soft as Elena's, "Elena, he's in love with you. I don't think he will ever move on from that. Ever." When Elena didn't respond she continued, "He was never looking to me as a replacement for you. I think...he just needed someone around who didn't know anything about you and him. He just needed someone..." Randy slowed, "Not to tell him he was wrong."
Elena closed her mouth, her eyes diverting to the table as she nodded.
Randy wanted to reach out and squeeze her hand. It kind of seemed like she needed it even if it was from the woman Elena thought had replaced her.
Randy sighed instead,
"I always like to think when I fell in love it would be like that. The all-consuming kind. Where living without them is unfathomable and the pain is almost as intense as the love. The kind of love that never reaches a level of comfort because it's always a raging inferno. I think that when people burn for each other...it makes all the emotions they feel as intense as the love."
Elena watched as Randy spoke. She could see why it was Harry had latched onto her. Randy was innocent in a way Elena wasn't. Randy was the hope Elena had lost.
When Randy realized Elena was staring at her, she instantly felt stupid,
"Sorry...I should just-"
"Take care of him." Elena interrupted just as the man behind the counter called out her name for her sandwich order. Elena ignored him, keeping her eyes glued to Randy's, "He deserves that." Elena finished.
Randy watched as Elena pushed back from the table, reached out to take her sandwich and then walked to the door. Elena turned back to look at Randy, lifting her hand in a half wave. Elena gave Randy a half smile.
And then she was gone.