chapter thirty-three: the departure
UNEDITED—
KANG Y/N
As soon as I woke up, I knew that something was wrong. Actually not just something, in a way everything seemed wrong.
It started with the disappearance of baekhyun and after that, a whole number of things started going wrong.
At first, I was sure that he had just gone somewhere, where I didn't know but I deeply believed that he was fine.
Sadly, as time went by and the warmth that we had been graced with was disappearing, so was my hope.
Then I was almost sure that he was
gone and that we would see his name in the sky. I didn't want that, so instead of believing it, I tried to search harder.
My life may not have been the easiest but all in all, it had been good.
And I rarely lost people I would consider my friends but at the moment I wasn't so sure.
Life was not good and I had probably just lost a person I considered a friend.
Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok for some reason decided to aid me in my search but it wasn't really the same for them.
They didn't care about baekhyun and they might have even been happy about his death.
Nevertheless, tears wouldn't fall and I asked myself why that was.
Maybe it was because nothing had been confirmed yet and there was still hope.
We had not heard a canon, after all, maybe Baekhyun was alive and well.
Alive and well. This was unlikely because who really was well in the arena.
The other three boys insisted we find the rest of their group, I didn't want to.
But Hoseok was the only one who noticed that, why else would he sling me over his shoulder without any explanation whatsoever.
It was odd for I presumed the so-called sunshine to actually be the coldest out of the six of them, yet here he was, acting not so cold.
"We need to find them," Jimin kept saying that over and over again but in my mind, I knew that he wasn't referring to baekhyun.
Of course, it was all just about Yoongi, Seokjin, and Taehyung for these boys.
Just like it was all about Baekhyun, my only friend in the arena, for me.
My head was spinning slightly because of my many thoughts, it hurt quite a bit.
There were now presumably 12 or 13 tributes left in the arena, depending on if there had been a cannon shot in the hours of the early morning.
The female careers, the lovers Lisa and Jennie, Taeyong, possibly baekhyun, me and the six boys.
Maybe it was late for me to realize but I was sure that the capital would start cutting down on tributes again soon.
It was the first day of the second week and still, so many of us were still alive.
Nevertheless, I wasn't so sure what the audience in the capital thought of these games, were they entertained?
Tributes seemed to die every other day and with the six boys, there was also always a lot of excitement and brutality.
And it also helped that also almost everyone in these games was very attractive, the capital ladies usually liked that.
Apparently watching some attractive people fighting for their life was something desirable for them.
Jimin and Jungkook were the ones handling all of the boys' stuff while Hoseok got away with just carrying me.
The two of them were walking slightly in front of us, Jungkook guided by Jimin who obviously didn't wasn't him to speak with me.
They were probably afraid that I would attack him again, which was pretty understandable.
Jungkook was at fault for a lot of things in my opinion even though it wasn't really the case.
Even though it was sort of wrong, Jungkook was someone who received most of my anger.
Why? Maybe because I cared about him more than I wanted to admit, he was my secret friend after all.
Hoseok was looking at me with an odd look in his eyes, it was bordering judgmental and disgusted.
Maybe my thinking face wasn't that attractive, actually, there was no maybe. My thinking face was pretty terrible.
"You're such a kid," Hoseok muttered while tightening his grip, causing me to squirm a bit.
"No wonder Jimin said you're not funny." I quipped back, allowing a grin to grace my features for the first time that day.
Something about Hoseok's attitude was refreshing. "He's probably dead, you know that right?"
I wasn't prepared to talk about baekhyun again, no, I wanted to forget him. At least until tonight.
"We're still searching." I gestured to Jimin and Jungkook who were also keeping a keen eye out.
"We're searching for someone who already escaped the arena," Hoseok muttered dryly.
Instead of answering, I made eye contact. My will to answer verbally was decreasing, maybe the look in my eyes would tell him.
Tell him that you're weak. Just like you've always been and always will be.
Because you couldn't save anyone and now everyone will die because of you.
"Don't look at me like that. Or anyone, especially anyone else. Don't look at anyone with that look." Hoseok rushed out, completely stopping in his tracks.
Unsure of what exactly he meant, I nodded my head in slight confusion.
There was a brief flash of concern, warmth, and maybe even affection in his eyes as he ruffled my hair.
And then he dropped me onto the floor. So much for finally becoming friends.
We continued to search for baekhyun while trying to make it to the rendezvous point that the boys had agreed on beforehand.
There we would hopefully meet up with Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi.
But what would happen from there was a mystery to me. Either I would remain the unofficial member of this odd alliance or my face would appear in the sky on the next day.
Honestly, neither of these options sounded very attractive.