Today, a year ago
I wrote the words
I LOVE YOU
in a letter to you
And I meant them.
I made sure you knew
By giving you a ring
That I made.
And poured my heart and soul into
So that you could own them.
It was a promise ring.
I promised my heart to you.
You made us necklaces
That pieced together
To form a heart.
Because neither of us
Was complete
Without the other.
You also wrote me a letter.
And in it
Made me believe
That I was
Beautiful
And smart
And talented.
You also wrote
I LOVE YOU
After reading it
I knew that you
We're the person
I wanted to wake up to every morning
To kiss under an umbrella in the rain
To shamelessly hold hands with
To sing duets with
To give flowers to
To read poems to
To bake with
To cuddle under blankets with
To spend the rest of my life with.
I wanted to
Come home to you after school or work
To attend a graduation ceremony for
To go on road trips with
To buy a house with
To get a pet with
To raise a family with
To marry.
Today, a year ago
I promised you my heart.
Today, my heart aches for you.
I haven't seen you
For forever.
I haven't talked to you
For longer than that.
And to think,
We were sharing kisses
Today, a year ago.
We both hurt each other
And we both hated each other.
But the truth is
I wish I could hate you
But I also wish to fix everything
I also wish to apologise to you
To make up with you.
I wish I could hate you
But I can't.
I miss you.
I want to see your face again
Your eyes
Your smile
I want to hear your voice again
I want to hold your hand again
But I'm scared.
I let down my walls for you
But you only reminded me
Why I built them so high
In the first place.
I'm scared
But I still miss you.
Today, a year ago
I promised my heart to you
And you still have it.
I wonder
Do I still have yours?
Do you think about me?
Do you cry about me?
Have you ripped up all my letters?
Do you still have your necklace?
And the flowers I gave you?
Do you think about us?
And the WHAT IFS?
How we almost had it all?
Do you feel nostalgic when you see
Things you used to do with me?
Did you want to spend the rest of your life
With me?
Do you want to hate me?
Do you miss me too?
Because I miss you.
And I miss
Today, a year ago.
Because
Today, a year ago
You were mine.
And I was yours.
And I loved you.
I loved you
Today, a year ago.
A.N. yEEt