last chapter :) but i've already started writing book two! hehe enjoy x
"I love you Mar."
I didn't say it back. I didn't love him. As we made sweet love and I lay in his arms those soft words travel repeatedly through my head. He loved me. He's in love with me and no one else. Why? He rubbed small circles on my back as we lay in bed and I wonder how did I get here.
"Baby..." Ash says softly. "Yes?" I reply turning to him. He places he hands right on my back and I place my arms above his head. We laid in stillness just looking at each other's eyes. His deep hazel eyes made me lose my sanity. Maybe I do love him.
He massaged up and down slowly and looked away like he was in deep thought. "No pressure baby." He said to me quietly. He was reassuring the fact that I said I wasn't in love with him.
Was I in love with him? Ashton was my first everything. When I laid my eyes on him for the first time he was just some douche bag kid who sat behind me in math. And then he noticed me. He saw something in me. The first time we made contact my heart and skin boiled with excitement. I couldn't control my feelings. My heart continued to beat out my chest when his fingers trailed down my arm.
His soft touch sent shivers from head to toe. And I couldn't deny I had a strong feelings for him. Looking at Ashton made me smile. The messy hair he had that tickled my face a little bit made each kiss memorable. "What baby?" Ashton whispered as I looked into his eyes. "Nothing." I smiled as I kiss his lips slightly.
"I'm happy." He whispered and my heart dropped into a million shattered pieces of glass. I looked at him in a whole knew light. He was happy because of me.
"I'm happy with you Ash." As the words left my mouth I didn't know that our happiness would be short lived.
~
Weeks go by and me and Ashton couldn't be any better. I think we spent every waking moment with each other.
Ash 'Baby': come over now (12:45am)
Me: I can't... Tomorrow? (12:47am)
Ash 'Baby': no we need to talk. (12:53am)
Me: about? Can you call me or something . Idk. (12:54am)
Ash 'Baby': no (12:55am)
Me: are you breaking up with me? just fucking do it now ashton. (1:07am)
Ash 'Baby': I'm coming over now (1:10am)
Ashton was scaring me. He never texted me like this. He seemed really upset about something. I took a quick shower and shaved really fast. I stepped out and let the cold air hit my body on impact. "Hello?" I called out when I here my door open. "Hey it's me." I hear Ash reply. "Okay." I say wrapping the towel around me.
I step out of the bathroom and walk into my dimly lit room. I see Ashton sitting on my bed and something seems unsettling. I sit next to him and put my hands in my lap. "Hey what's wrong?" I ask turning to him while putting my wet hair in a bun. "Why does something have to be wrong, Mar?" He replies bitterly.
"Ashton. I can't." I say my throat closing up as a hard lump forms. "Can't what Mar? I can't either. I don't know if I can do this." He says looking away. "Do what?" I spit at him while standing up. "Be with someone who doesn't love me." He says standing up infront of me. "Ash.." I whine, stepping closer to him. "Don't Mar. This already hurts bad enough." He says putting his hand up and stepping back.
"No... Ashton. I do. You don't understand. I'm scared and I do..." I ramble while grabbing his hand. "No you don't. You haven't even said it. You do?? Yeah no you don't." He says trying to pull away from me.
"Stop.." I says putting my arms around his neck. We stare into each other's eyes. "Ashton please.." I say kissing him. He kisses me back and takes a deep breath. "I'm going to miss this." He says pulling away from me.
"Miss this?! ASHTON! What? No!! Please! Don't! I... I.. I'm in love with you don't leave me." I beg and plead. "Don't. Tell. Me. You are in love with me Mar..." He says slowly looking at the wall. "No.. Ashton please." I keep pleading but I can see he's made up his mind.
"I love you." He says walking toward my door. I grab his arm with both of my hands and pull him towards me. "I love you too." I say before kissing him. "It's okay Mar, bye." He says before leaving my house.
And I had to remember how my life would be without Ashton.
~
I rolled out of bed feeling like shit. Me and Ashton were done and I just wanted to wallow in my sorrows. Although, I had to go to school. I didn't want to see him. I was scared. I take a deep breath as I walk onto the school grounds. There were 2000 students going here, hopefully I wouldnt see him... Wait I have math with him. Crap.
“What happened?” Calum asked me as I showed up to school in tears. “It’s a long story” I say walking past him. “Hey, I have the time. Get dinner with me tonight.” He says to me and grabs my arm lightly. “No.” I grab my arm from him and continue to walk down the hall and I feel his eyes on my back.
The rest of the day was shitty. I tried to avoid Ashton at all costs. Everytime I saw messy hair nearby I looked away and walked in the other direction. Even if it wasn't him.
Unknown : Hey, its cal. (2:55pm)
Me : hi (2:57pm)
Calum : Can I take you to dinner? Just as friends, just to talk. (3:10pm)
Me : yeah, pick me up at 7 I guesss… (3:45pm)
I figured why not just let Calum take me out. I have nothing to lose. He was a nice guy and it wasn’t going to hurt. What the fuck am I going to wear though. This was no date. Why was I even worried. I felt a tad bit awkward honestly. I didn't even bother giving a fuck, I did as much homework as I could and layed in bed on tumblr until the time rolled around.
Calum : on my way (6:57pm)
Me : Okay :) (6:58pm)
“Hi.” I say to Calum as I step outside. I saw his car pull up into my driveway. He got here really fast. He must not live too far. “Hello.” He replies pulling me into a hug. “Where are we going?” I say as I strap in my seatbelt.
“Umm.. I actually don’t know, I wanted to ask you.” He said to me while pulling out of my driveway. “I don’t know, anything is fine.” I reply to him. We drove in silence until we reached a grocery store. “What are you getting?” I ask quietly. “Umm.. I’ll be back, do you like turkey, chicken or ham?” He asked me before closing the door. “Umm, surprise me!” I call out as he walks into the store.
I sat waiting in the car for Calum. I had no idea what he was going to be getting. He came back to the car in 20 minutes or so with his hands full. “What is all that?” I ask him. “Do you need help?” I offer a hand for a bag of groceries. “Umm, no thanks babe. I got it.” He says winking to me which made me melt a little bit. “Okay.” I smile and walk into the car.
Calum climbs in the car and starts the car up. I look over at him and give him a confused glance. “So what are we going to be doing?” I question with an eyebrow raise. “You’ll see.” He says to me, keeping his eyes on the road.
~
Ten minutes later we pulled up to an empty soccer field. “We’re having a picnic?!” I say cheerfully. “We are.” He says stepping out of the car. “Why on a soccer field.” I say grabbing the beer and not the water which made me chuckle to myself. “Because it one of my most favorite places on earth, I love soccer.”
“Calum… This is really sweet. Thank you.” I say kissing him on the cheek and I could see him immediately blush at my contact. “Of course.” He says wrapping his arms around my waist.
I pull away and giggles a bit before I grabs a few more things. “Lets sit by the goal.” I suggests and he takes my hand we walk towards the goal. Calum got a blanket and laid it out, we both sat down and we began to eat in silence. I lean my head on his shoulder softly. “Why are you doing this?” I ask and look up at him.
Calum doesn’t even respond he just leans in. I tilt my head forward to meet his lips. “Again.” I whisper and he places another light kiss on my lips. “More.” I say turning towards him. He grabs my legs so that they were thrown across of his legs. He leans in and kisses my cheek and he leaves his face there. “I’ve been waiting to do this for awhile now.” He whispers to me. “Me too.” And then I found my lips on Calums.
I move my arms to take of Calum’s shirt and he looks surprised. He lifts his arms in response and he lifts my shirt up after. He kisses me deeply and lays me down. He sucks on my neck, my shoulders, my cleavage and my stomach. I’m pretty sure he left hickies all around my body. He was marking me as his.”Calum…” I whispered and looked at him with seductive eyes. I began to palm him lightly.
Calum slid his pants off immediately to feel more of my hands against him. “Oh god.” He says throwing his neck back. I climb on top of him and suck his neck. I assumed dominance as soon as I got the chance. “Yes baby. Do whatever you want to me.” He urges and I slide his boxers down. I began to pump up and down his length. I hear soft gasps leave Calum’s mouth. “Fuck.” He says while stopping me. He climbed on top of me immediately.
He slid my skirt and my panties down in one swift move. “Its all about you babe.” He said putting his briefs back on. He dives his head inbetween my legs. He licks up and down my thigh, teasing the fuck out of me. I squeeze my eyes shut knowing that he was about to make contact with my sweet spot. “Look at me.” He commands.
When I finally open my eyes, I look down at him and he licks my slit quickly. “Oh! Cal… I…” I moan when he continues his actions. “Shhh baby.” He says while he sucks on my clit. He runs his tongue in circles against me. “Yes…” I say putting my hands through his hair. I grind my hips up to meet up with his sweet tongue. He licks me quicker and faster until I was out of breath.
I felt my orgasm coming. I was cumming. My chest was rising up and down rapidly and I was grabbing the blanket with my fists. “Calum…” I whisper when I find my release…
~
“Hey” I say to this familiar face. “Hey love. How have you been?” He says stepping closer to me. “I don’t know… I miss you.” I reply honestly. Its been three months since me and Ashton ended things and I decided to invite him over for dinner. Although I wasn’t hungry. “Shall we?” He says stepping inside. “We shall.” I reply when we walk upstairs.
We both sit down on the edge of the bed pretty much dwindling with our fingers. “How could you?” I finally speak up. “I’m sorry.” He says quietly. “You didn’t believe me when I said I was in love with you.” I say my voice cracking a bit. “Was?” He says sounding down. “No.” I reply simply.
“No what?” He says. “Ashton, I love you. And I don’t know if I will ever stop loving you.” I say honestly and my tearducts get super weak. “Why are you scared to love?” Ashton says and I look up and he is so close to my face that I can feel his eyes piercing my soul. “Because I don’t want to be hurt. Whats funny is that the first person I fell in love with is the first to hurt me.” I say chuckling while dry sobs fill my mouth.
“Me too.” He says and kisses me lightly. I breathe in when he lips touch mine. His soft lips linger against my lips, my skin, my neck. I intake Ashton’s scent and let my mind relive those very moments we used to share a few months ago. I missed him, I miss this.
I missed us.
“Lets start all over baby.” Ashton said silently.
“I will start all over as many times as we need to Ashton.” I kissed his lips once more.
“I taught you so much baby. I’ll teach you how to love.”
The End : Book 1 (Ashton Irwin – Teaching Her)