It was no secret that Tom was in New York to begin filming for another role he snagged in a heartbeat. No matter where he went, what stores he would go to, places he ate, the paparazzi were on his tail and giving him no sense of privacy. His candid pictures were posted on every inch of social media for you to see which left a bittersweet taste in your mouth.
Yours and Tom's relationship blossomed before his exposure went viral overnight. Yeah, Tom was another face in the Marvel franchise, but his acting skills in every film landed him any audition he wanted in Hollywood. When Tom became occupied with his job he loved so much, you slowly became hazy to his acknowledgment. Instead of date nights on Wednesdays, it was line-reading with Harrison all week then researching his roles every weekend.
After weeks of Tom cancelling important plans, being flakey and overall belittling your presence, you were tired of not being treated the way you should. Sometimes you reminisce back to that night, remembering the huge argument that took place in the kitchen, the pacing along the hardwood floors in the livingroom and your voices yelling so loud the neighbors in your apartment heard through the thick walls. Tears streamed over your hand that covered your mouth, watching Tom slam the door so harsh that it was jammed.
A couple of knocks on your new door made you snap out of the past you were in. You clear your throat and walk over, opening it to reveal your friend, Kelsey. Her arm leaned against the door frame with a pearly white smile greeting you. Before she could say anything, her smile faded when looking at your outfit that consisted of a pair of grey, baggy sweatpants that were tied at the waist and a vintage, black Rolling Stones shirt that hung off your shoulder.
"Why aren't you dressed?" She asked, shrugging her shoulders.
"I don't really feel like going anymore." You shrug back and then tucking your hair behind your ear, looking down at your feet. She grinned at your nervous tick, she knew you were lying.
"Give me a better reason." Kelsey chuckled, flipping her blonde hair behind her shoulder as you let her in.
Your lips move to the side and your tongue wet them at how dry they were getting when trying to tell her the truth.
"Tom's back and- I don't think I could risk it." You shake your head as you sit on the barstool by your kitchen island.
"Girl, there are over eight million people in this city and you're only two of them. Don't stress it." She joked but you didn't take it as one, feeling the fear rumble within your heart.
She sighed, "Okay, maybe, we could keep a low profile. Maybe that pizza place you like on the corner of forty-first. A slice for two-fifty." Kelsey bribed you.
You could already smell the freshly-grated cheese and strong aroma of garlic, oregano, and roasted tomatoes that seemed to be comfort food to you for the past year of living in the city. Even though you and Tom went on multiple dates here, it erased from your mind with good memories that you and your friends made there.
"Alright." You sweetly agree and she returns a smile at you giving in.
After putting on a winter-appropriate outfit with a cute pair of boots, you and Kelsey made your way to the first floor of your apartment then taking a cab a few blocks down. When you stepped out onto the busy sidewalk, the cold air felt like it was piercing into your face. You both quickly took cover into the pizza place, the heat defrosting you from the outside in.
You smiled as your two hands created friction to warm up your hands faster. The owner of the small but popular business knew your friendly face too well.
"Hey girls. I just made some fresh pies." He chuckled while slicing into them behind the counter.
"Thanks, Mr. Valdez." You and Kelsey thanked in unison. The two of you peeled off your heavy jackets before settling into your usual booth.
Only a few tables away, there sat the two british best friends who were eagerly waiting for their mozzarella sticks and fresh calzone. They were practically mouth watered at the image with the added rumbling in their stomachs from working on set all day. Tom licked his lips and his brown eyes catching the red, neon glowing sign at the front window. His mind drifted off as Harrison ranted on about something until the focus wasn't the light, but you walking through that door.
Tom knew this was your favorite place but he wasn't expecting you at all. When he initially sat down, a boat full of past memories of the two of you displayed vividly in his mind. From your first date till he was casted constantly in movies by Hollywood's best directors. There was a sudden drop in his heart, thinking back to that door slam. Tom stood outside the slammed door and contemplated stepping back in the apartment with tears streaming down his jaw. He turned toward the door, hearing your faint sobs from behind the varnished wood then a sudden groan proceeding with a few objects hitting the ground.
"Tom." Harrison stated and Tom blinked a few times.
"Hmm." Tom hummed, raising his eyebrows at Harrison.
"You look sick." Harrison joked before taking a sip of his water.
Tom's eyes went back to you standing by the door, those orbs becoming soft and his heart practically melting inside his chest. The glow of the neon sign reflected against the glass, giving you an appearance of an angel coming from heaven. He could compare you to a lost angel. It only made him realize more that you used to be his girl and he didn't know how he could let that go.
After hearing you two thank the owner, Tom watched you sit down with Kelsey and he couldn't keep his eyes off of you. The way you ran your fingers through your hair or how warm your smile was from feet away. He couldn't help but gaze at you, his heart skipping every other beat.
When you glanced away from Kelsey, your eyes were going to travel across the room till they met with those sweet, brown eyes for the first time in a few months. The air in both your lungs were taken away and at that single second of reconnection, it was as if the two of you became breathless.
His hair wasn't gelled, seeing the true curl to his dark-brown locks. There was that expression again, a look that you would always ask "Why are you making that face?" and proceed to chuckle. It's not that his eyes were sad, in fact, they were so sweet and glossy. It was the kind of look that made him forget time existed. The same look that made him feel like there had never been anyone more beautiful to him than you. The shadow that casted from the dim-lighting revealed the past break in his nose, remembering how you traced the imperfect bone at the start between his eyes and to end against his soft lips.
You both took a small gasp, almost forgetting how to breathe. As Tom looked down at the table, you looked to the wall of personal pictures Mr. Valdez took over the years with people who stumbled into his small pizza place.
Harrison and Kelsey didn't take note from both your reactions, thinking you were both on edge with knowing either of you could run into each other. Weirdly enough, they were wrong about how many people were in this city and the chances of meeting were slim to none. You wish Kelsey wasn't and Tom wished the same to Harrison.
"Hey Kelsey, I'm not feeling pizza actually." You quickly excuse yourself, feeling a heat roast the apples of your cheeks.
"What? But, I thought-"
"We can go back to my apartment. It's fine. I'm sorry, I'm just too- paranoid." You lied, living your paranoia as you sat there.
"Okay. Okay. Geez." Kelsey humored your behavior and accepted it.
"Fine, since you want to freeze your ass off again. And you're paying for the cab." She pointed at you and you nodded quickly before getting out of there, not even saying goodbye to Mr. Valdez.
Tom's heart came before his mind, already standing up in an effort to stop you but once the bell above the door jingled, he swallowed that pride really fast. Harrison glanced up at him standing there, furrowing his eyebrows at his best friend.
Tom sealed his lips, "I was just going to get some napkins." A crack in his voice between his lie.
After that brief encounter, a few days had passed but the look on each of your faces didn't leave your minds. Both of you contemplating to call the other, maybe even a simple text. The thoughts distracted your busy-enough minds most of the days and Tom gave in first, he couldn't take it anymore.
When Tom was finished filming after another day of back-to-back shooting, he quickly proceeded to his trailer and locked the door behind him. As he slipped the phone from the pocket of his jeans, Tom went to your number before he could hesitate again.
A deep inhale through his nose and long exhale released from his lips.
He pressed the phone lightly against his ear, beginning to pace the small square of feet he had. Tom thought off the top of his head what he wanted to say and the anticipation made his palms sweat.
The call was a few rings in and all you did was stare at your phone. Your hand grabbed it, lifting it closer to your face and your thumb hovering between the two options, accept or end. Your brows furrowed when trying to make a decision till you pressed that green button.
"Hello?" You asked.
Tom hadn't heard your voice clearly in months, but he remembered how it was sweet and smooth as honey.
"Hey." He cleared his throat, all of his thoughts leaving right out his ear.
Both of you felt the awkward tension, wondering who was next to say something to fill the silence. As Tom started to pace again, you were going the same in your small apartment and feeling the cool, floorboard beneath your feet. You had your nail between your teeth, trying not to add too much pressure for breakage.
"I saw you- a few nights ago." He lifts up his arm, patting it against his side as he shrugged his shoulders. He wondered if he sounded creepy saying so, almost wanting to reword himself to not make this any more awkward than it was.
"Yeah.. I thought I saw you too." You say, looking out your window at the traffic.
"Um-" Tom looked down at his feet, his other hand digging into his back-pocket.
"Maybe you could- we could.." He cleans up the way he worded what he would say this time.
Your right eyebrow arched with a slightly-closed lip smile painted on your face. Tom tilted his head back, letting out a deep breath before coming out with it.
"We could have dinner at my place, tomorrow? I know, it's been a while but I just want to talk." Tom stated then sealing his thin lips, his nerves tingling throughout his body as if he got shock from static. The body heat producing from his nervousness warmed him up a bit as he waited for an answer.
How could that question not make you tense. With the way your relationship ended, you weren't sure if this reunion was Tom's way of reconciliation or if it was written off as loneliness and longing for something familiar in his hectic life. You weren't ready to give yourself to him again but you were willing to give him a chance, seeing if he was a man of his word.
"What time?" You simply ask and Tom's eyebrows raised, shocked you accepted.
"Seven, if that's okay. I can send someone to pick you up." His smile showed and that fear fading away.
"Sounds perfect."
The grins on your faces stayed after hanging up, almost like you were dating again and none of that fighting happened in-between but, it did and you both had to be cautious and couldn't assume things had changed. You place your phone on the kitchen counter then scratching the back of your neck an wondering if you made the right choice. Tom wondered the same, not knowing if he was burning himself with the same flame.
The next twenty-four hours had you both on edge for the amount of things that could happen.
Your expectations fighting your realities.
You started the morning with spilling your coffee all over the kitchen island, seeing your important papers paint in your dark roast. Halfway to work, you realizing you had your shirt on backwards along with phasing in and out between meetings and your bosses wondering why you were off your game.
Tom's nerves were no better and caused him to be a mess on set, all-day. He was stuttering over his words, getting frustrated about lines he memorized for weeks that seemed to go in one ear and out the other and tripping over wires to cameras. Harrison kept asking him if he was okay, but all Tom could respond was "I'm fine, I'm fine."
That's what you did to each other, acting like fools from falling so hard.
Once it got to the time of your date, you were standing in front of the mirror next to the door. You didn't want to wear anything too comfy but also not like you were attending a ballroom party. So, you went with your little black dress with sleeves that ended mid-wrist. The fabric cut above the knee, slightly fanning out and a small, black belt hugging your waist. You looked like doll with your diamond studs and natural hair, not that you wanted to give into Tom's liking of it.
A few knocks at the door had your attention. You took a deep breath before opening it to Tom's driver who happened to be Harrison. The blonde boy with blue eyes grinned, looking you at you from head to toe.
"Nice seeing you again." He smirked then chewed his mint gum.
"I can say the same." You grinned, the two of you embrace an overdue hug.
The car ride wasn't as awkward as you thought it'd be. Harrison caught you up to date about all the things him and Tom had been doing since the last time you spoke. It made you smile at how successful Tom had gotten since then but you do wish you could have experienced it with him even if it took away from your relationship.
When you got to the luxurious apartment complex, you gleamed at the glamour through your window. Even though Harrison calm you down somewhat, that shock electrified your body again.
"Tom's downstairs." Harrison said and you look at him one last time.
"Thanks." You tell him.
You entered through the revolving door and saw the slightly-empty lobby. The ceiling was lined in long, luminous lights that reflected so clearly on the white granite floors. You saw the receptionist give you a warm smile before turning your head to see a boy standing by the wall, waiting patiently till your eyes connected.
It was like time had stopped again, the air getting sucked out of the room and leaving both of you speechless. Watching you is all he could do and there was no hiding it with that glassy look in his eyes. A quick hand running through your hair and the smell of your sweet perfume consumed him the closer you got, he was falling harder by the second.
"You look amazing." Is all he could say.
You blush in response, "You grew out your hair." You noticed and he chuckled, watching his curls fall against his forehead when he looked at the floor then back at you.
"I cooked dinner. It's all set up.. upstairs." He told you, the both of you walking by the other.
You couldn't keep your eyes off each other. Even the small talk in the elevator wasn't as awkward as you fear it would be, asking him about his brothers, family and dog. He curiously asked what you had been doing, answering with your exciting, new internship in the big city you dreamed to be apart of since you were little. Tom was happy for you, remembering how much you spoke about it even though you thought he wasn't listening at the time.
The door you were lead to had a white finish and gold numbers below the high-centered knocker. Tom pushed in his key, unlatching the lock in one turn and opening the door for you to enter. You walk into a luxurious setting with a fireplace going and a view that looked over the big, bright city.
"You can leave your coat on the couch." He tells you, placing his keys on the small table by the door.
You grin at him before walking over to the brown suede couch, folding your coat and laying it against the top. You slowly turn around as your eyes wandered, exploring what the apartment had to offer. You had never been in a place that was so deluxe and grande. The pop of a cork surprised you, getting you to turn to Tom who was holding a bottle of red wine. As you made your way toward him, you noticed the familiar label on the side of the bottle.
"You did not get my favorite." You chuckle, tilting your head at his gesture.
"Oh, yes I did." He smiled and poured the maroon colored liquid into the traditional wine glass.
You pick up the glass closest to you, lifting the rim right below your nose and inhaling the fruity and earthy aroma. You closed your eyes as your lips pressed between the rim and sipped the sweet liquid slowly. Tom watched you, making him smirk around his glass and smiled when pulling it away from his lips.
In that moment, you had all of Tom's attention and you weren't even trying. You hummed to yourself at the delicious taste leaving a trail down your throat. As you pull away the clean glass from your lips, the dark lipstick you decided on prints a stain to mark that it was yours.
"Thank you." You giggled.
Tom grinned, "Anything for you."
With no conversation coming to mind, you two were left in awkward silence. Your eyes wandered around the room curiously as Tom chewed on his inner cheek when he tried to say anything, finding this incredibly ironic. Working as a well-trained actor, improv came to him naturally but, in this moment, trying to say a single word wasn't even at the tip of his tongue.
You finally asked, "So why are you in New York?"
Tom froze, "Um— I was offered this huge role here and I decided to take it.. and yeah. It's going to be amazing."
He mentally hit himself upside the head, he really couldn't have made up a better alibi.
"Oh." You pouted your lips a bit.
"..I heard you turned down a movie with Martin Scorsese for a role you were, he quoted, born to play. But, you told them you couldn't because you said you got the New York gig even before you knew you got the part." Your eyes connect with Tom's look of raised eyebrows and slightly widening his eyes.
"Harrison told me on the way here.." You confess and Tom could only chuckle.
"And.. I came here for you.. too." He admitted.
Heat rose on your cheeks as his did too, smiling at one another once everything was out in the open.
"Really? With how you broke my door, sure didn't expect that." You say, deciding to head toward the couch, taking your glass of red with you.
Tom watched you walk away and his face started to burn from the embarrassment he felt from remembering that moment he regretted more than anything.
You weren't expecting an apology, just an explanation. As you settled into the soft and comfortable cushion, Tom started walking over while thinking of all the words he wanted to say. He knew this was his chance to lay everything on the line, maybe even able to gain your trust enough that you could redeem your buried relationship.
He sat on the other side of the couch because he didn't want to invade your space. Tom rubbed his sweaty palms against his jeans and looked into your eyes, trying his best to keep his gaze.
"I wish I could take back that night. I really do." He told.
"I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at myself and I was so caught up and busy with work that I couldn't even see you weren't happy with me or our relationship anymore."
You thought this news would be relieving but all it did was make you feel bad for what you thought Tom's intentions were all this time from one fight.
"I'm sorry.." You state and Tom furrowed his eyebrows, thinking he was the only one who had to apologize.
"I should have been honest with you.. and told you how I felt instead of leaving it till the last minute." You admit your own guilt.
Both of your eyes were still locked to one another's and your feelings for him that had been buried inside your heart began to release throughout your body. You leaned forward, placing your wine glass on the coffee table and coming back to see Tom's eyes were still locked to you. You purposely moved closer to him as you sat up, slowly feeling more comfortable with him the more you opened up.
Tom placed his hand on your knee, his thumb brushing against your bare, soft skin. Your eyes watch his gesture but your heart fluttered as he continued to stroke his thumb before saying a word. Even though you felt like you were falling apart right there, he was really the one wrapped around your finger.
"We both made mistakes." Tom filled the silence.
You nodded in response.
"And my mistake was walking out that door, walking away from you and everything we had."
This is all you wanted to hear yet you couldn't even look him in his eyes as they became glassy again.
"Do you ever wonder- if we'd still be together if I hadn't walked out?" He asked.
You giggled a bit, "Well.. you did walk out and it did happen so, I can't imagine it any other way."
Tom's lips moved slightly to the side, looking away from you and toward the floor. You shifted your position on the couch, being able to face him while your arm laid against the top of the couch. You crossed your legs with Tom, now, resting his hand at your thigh.
"But, before that and when we were together, I imagined so much for us." You assured.
Tom looked back at you, his jaw clenched yet he was hand was still grazing the top of your thigh.
"That we were going to move to London so we could be closer to your family and leave the hectic city. You know my parents would be furious, but I could care less as long as I'm with you. We'd get married, have three beautiful kids, all would have your charm and my brains." You joked and Tom chuckled, not feeling so crazy for thinking the same thing.
"And we'd live in a house with a big backyard and a lot of trees and squirrels. And- just spend the rest of our lives together." You grin at the thought and tilted your head.
"Maybe, you had to walk out that door to make me realize how much I would really miss you.. And how much I loved you despite us falling apart as it was." You couldn't help but admit and Tom gulped, feeling his heart pump rapidly in his chest.
"I still love you.." Tom replied.
You became frozen in that moment, hearing those words hit you like a tidal wave. Your mouth gaped slightly from being surprised and trying say something. You two held eye contact for a few seconds until Tom slowly leaned toward you, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against yours. You didn't hesitate to back out, closing your eyes as well while your lips attached for those few seconds.
Tom pulled away and your gazes fixed while your lips were tingling. Your eyebrows crinkled before you placed both your hands below each of his ears. As your thumb caressed his pink cheek, you were hungry for another kiss and took your chances. Luckily, Tom craved you just as much, maybe even more.
As your lips met once more, the kiss was soft and tender. You opened your mouth slightly, teasing his tongue to let it slipped through. Tom bit your bottom lip gently before taking the hint and pressed his sweet tongue against yours. You felt so comforted and safe, not wanting this delightful feeling to fade.
You wanted to be so close till there was no such thing as space between you. The familiar taste of your tongues were almost addicting, motivating you to keep kissing. While your breaths were heavy, Tom pulled away so he could catch his own.
"Do you want to move this to the bedroom?" He asked and ran his fingers through his now, mess of curls.
There was that silence again.
You could end it right there and walk out the door or stay and reignite an old flame, even if it burned you enough to scar.
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