Cassius held me like I was going to disappear at any moment. He kissed me slowly and softly and with all the pent up emotions we'd both been feeling for the past months. I didn't even notice he was crying until I tasted the salty drops on my lips and I couldn't hold back the wave of crushing sadness that washed over me too.
"Cassius," I whispered, but he kissed me again, "oh my god it's you."
A quiet sob escaped from my lungs as I squeezed him tightly. He kissed my eyelids and my cheeks and the top of my head and a warmth filled up in my chest. Half of my soul was gone and in a second he was back.
"Alabaster, I'm sorry," he murmured, "I'm so sorry."
"I love you, I love you," I whispered as my lip wobbled and I held onto his shoulders.
"I love you," he replied as more tears rolled down his face, we slid to the floor slowly and kissed again. I thought I wouldn't be able to face him. I thought I'd be able to ignore all these feelings. But I was wrong and I couldn't suppress them no matter how hard I tried, because I loved him.
When we'd mostly stopped crying and kissing I rested my forehead against his shoulder as he ran his palm down my back. I missed this feeling, his fingers dancing down the curve of my spine. His warm palm running over my shoulder blades.
"Cassius..." I started, but didn't know what to say, "Cassius are you okay? H-have you been okay?"
He was silent for a heartbeat and I felt his hand tremble slightly.
"No. Not without you," he whispered with tensely. I ran my fingers through his hair to calm the thundering in my chest.
"I-I-" I couldn't bite it out, not when he was already so broken, "I'm so sorry- I had to- I-I had to..." I felt a tear drip down my cheek slowly, "I needed energy, and until w-wished that you were there. But- but-" I couldn't help it and started to sob again. Cassius stiffened under me and cupped the back of my head and rocked me gently.
"I understand. I know, I wouldn't be angry with you for that, I know," he cooed in my ear and kissed my temple, "I'm sorry I didn't find you soon enough."
"B-but," I squeezed him tighter, "I wanted it too. I couldn't- it was so hard."
Cassius swallowed and nodded slowly.
"I get it. I know you found h-him. If you... wanted to go back... I wouldn't stop you," he bit out and it felt as though a knife had pierced my heart.
"No! No please, I don't ever want to go back!" I begged and clung onto Cassius pitifully, "I don't want to see him."
He didn't say anything else, and continued to rock me gently until I felt my eyelids grow heavy. The excitement was wearing off and I was so tired.
"Alabaster?" He whispered tentatively in my ear and pulled me back to look me in the eye, "will you go back with me? Will you... Will you be my mate again? My-my equal?"
I paused and then threw myself back into his arms.
"Do you even have to ask?" I could almost laugh if I wasn't crying, "of course, take me back. Take me back, Cassius. I want- I want to go home."
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We touched down in our room and I was surprised to see that nothing had changed. Even my dirty clothes from the day I'd been taken were still in the same place. All the same I loved the smell and the sight of being somewhere familiar again.
Then I thought about it a little more and looked around. It... concerned me.
"Cassius... have you even been in here since I left?" I asked and placed a gentle hand on his chest. He almost looked ashamed when he answered.
"No, I couldn't be in here. All I thought of was you," he whispered and his voice cracked slightly.
"Has anyone been in here?" I whispered as he led me towards the bed.
"No. It was off limits," he looked away and kicked off his shoes.
I waited a moment.
"Okay, okay," I said quietly and took off my pants, "we'll sleep here tonight, but tomorrow we're cleaning, how does that sound?"
He nodded slowly and dragged his pants off his legs while I slid under the covers. A heaviness settled in my chest, so many memories. So many feelings. Cassius threw the blankets over us as I pressed up against his chest and threw a leg over his hip. He curled an arm around my waist and pressed his lips to the top of my head.
"I love you, Cassius," I whispered into the silence and traced the curves of his throat.
"I love you too, Alabaster."
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When my eyes cracked open I immediately felt exhausted. It was as if I hadn't even slept at all, but at least I knew Cassius was here. His arms and warmth still engulfed me and I was so grateful for that.
He was still asleep and even now he looked so tired. So drained. I frowned and slid my fingers through his hair and down his back.
I heard the door crack open and peeked towards it, Cassius opened his eyes by from the sudden noise.
"Cassius? Are you... in here? I can't believe it, I thought you'd just lock this place up until-" I saw Torryn stop and stare at us in disbelief.
"A-alabaster? What- what are you doing here?" He gasped and almost fell over himself scrambling to the side of the bed, "when did you get here?"
"Last night," I croaked, my voice was still from having just woke up, Cassius had yet to speak but he watched Torryn's every movement as if he were about to take me away and never give me back. I sat up with a yawn, but his arms still remained firm around my waist.
"How- how are you?" He still seemed surprised and rocked back on his heels.
"Not so great," I replied honestly and let out a short yelp when Cassius rolled me onto the other side of the bed and away from Torryn.
"Go away Torryn, nobody likes you," he grumbled and I smiled down at my mate.
"What? That's not fair! I just wanted to talk to him!" Torryn gasped and threw his hands up, "we need to have an announcement, this is big."
"No, not right now," Cassius said and pulled me down the the mattress, "unless you want to watch us fuck I suggest you scram."
Torryn didn't need any more convincing and dashed out of there. The prince rolled over top of me and propped himself up on his elbows.
"Are you hungry?" He asked and pushed my hair away from my face, I smiled and hooked my arms around his neck.
"I've missed you," I whispered and kissed the tip of his nose.
"Is that a yes or a no?" He inquired as I ran my fingers through his hair.
"That's a yes once you take a shower," I retorted and arched a brow.
"Oh fine," he groaned and rolled off the bed, "but only if you join me."
"Of course," I said and took his hand as he led me to the bathroom.
As he was fixing the nozzles I threw off my shirt and boxers. When the water was suitable he turned back to me but stopped short and scanned me up and down.
He looked as if he was going to say something but his eyes halted on my mark. In confusion I looked down and saw that bruises and cuts still covered it. I gasped and turned away from him. How could I forget about that? I thought it would've healed by now!
"Did he do that?" Cassius whispered, his voice eerily calm.
"Cassius-"
"Did he do that?" The prince repeated and took a step forward.
"I- yes, yeah he did," I without and felt my lower lip tremble. Cassius noticed and immediately an expression of regret flew across his face.
"I'm sorry, Alabaster," he said and hugged me close, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
"It's okay, I'm here now," I shrugged, but felt my throat tighten painfully.
"You don't always have to be okay, you know," he whispered and stepped out of his boxers, "I'll be here for you."
I bit my lip and nodded as he removed his shirt and helped me into the shower before him. I sighed when the warm water pelted my back. Cassius ran his fingers through his hair and slathered soap over a loofah.
He ran it over my back slowly and concisely. I wrapped my arms around myself and subconsciously ran the pads of my fingers over the scar on my abdomen. I chewed on my lip nervously, how would I tell him about that? How would I tell him that I lost our baby?
"Are these scratches?" He whispered and ran his fingers down my spine.
"Probably," I shrugged as he sucked in a slow breath and ran his lips over the spot.
"What happened to you, Alabaster?" He whispered mostly to himself and ran his palms down my shoulder blades. I stayed quiet as he washed me gently and kissed all the scratches and bruises. It made me feel so much lighter, like all the dirt on my soul was swirling down the drain.
By the time Cassius was drying me off, I felt tired again, but I was determined to stay awake. We needed to talk.
The prince led me back to the bed and we sat on the edge, neither of us spoke for a moment.
"Alabaster, I need to know," he finally breathed and slid his hand over mine, "did he hurt you?"
I felt my throat tighten painfully as I nodded. Cassius clenched his jaw.
"Was it because of me? Was it because I marked you?" My mate whispered and I hesitated this time.
"I don't... I don't know," I mumbled and looked down, unable to face him.
"Alabaster, is this..." He trailed off and ran his fingers over the scar on my abdomen, "is this what I think it is?"
My lip trembled and tears formed in the corners of my eyes.
"Yes," I choked and wiped at a drop that rolled down my cheek, "it was yours. It was yours, Cassius, and I was too scared to tell you."
Cassius wrapped his arms around me tightly and rocked me gently.
"We can try. We can try again, I promise," he said stiffly and kissed the top of my head, "I'm so sorry this happened to you."
I sobbed into his chest and wanted to scream and shout and throw things. But I was so tired, I was so... defeated.
"I'll never stop loving you, Alabaster," the prince whispered in my ear.
He had no idea how much I needed to hear that.
Omg I was reading the old Lux chapters and it made me so sad.
Also, I couldn't remember if Alabaster told Cassius about the baby. So yeah... this is how it is. If you guys remember then tell me because I have no fucking clue.