w i l l *
Kyler and I are walking towards campus when it gets brought up.
"So..." I begin, kind of nervously. "I might be talking to someone..."
Kyler turns to look at me. "Really? That's good!"
I nod, and silence falls around us.
"Are you going to tell me about her?" he asks a few moments later, breaking the silence.
"No, because it's not a she..." I say, trailing off.
"It's a he?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh." Is all he says. There's something in his voice; whether it's anger or jealousy, I can't tell.
After our class, we both have a break which we take in the library, a couple of buildings over. Kyler is still acting weird.
"Why are you acting like this?" I blurt. "Like you're angry at me or something..."
"Because I like you!" He blurts.
I stop walking. "You what?!"
"Nothing. Nevermind, I don't want to talk about it." He says finally and storms off.
"Kyler!" I shout after him, but he doesn't turn around--in fact, I think he starts to walk faster.
I get to the library about three minutes after he does, and go over to the table we sit at with our friends. They look up as I enter.
"Kyler?" I say gently.
"I said I don't want to talk about it, William," he says curtly as I sit down and pull my books out of my bag.
"You can't just say something like that and walk off!" I snap.
"Watch me!"
"Kyler, I just want to talk about it!"
"Well, I don't! So, that's tough."
"Kyler!"
He ignores me.
I slam my book, that I'd just opened, shut and throw it in my backpack.
"Fine. Whatever, Kyler." I snap, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and storming out of the library. I hear a sharp intake of breath from a few friends as I storm out of the library and let the door slam shut behind me. I walk to the building of my next class and sit outside on the bench to wait for my next class to start. I feel someone sit down beside me and look up from my phone.
"What was that about??" Asks Alyssa, one of my best friends, and Kyler's cousin.
"I told him about the guy that I might be talking to," I say. "And he said, 'I like you' and stormed off and now he doesn't want to talk about it."
"Oh. Oh. Well..."
"I have no clue what to do."
"Just give him time, Will. He'll come around, I promise."
"I-I like him too, though," I say, finally admitting the one thing I'd held inside of me since seventh grade.
She whips around. "What?"
I look at her and nod.
"Since when?" she asks softly.
"Since seventh grade,"
"That long? Why haven't you said anything?"
"I thought he wouldn't like me back."
"Will, I'm going to tell you something, and --please don't tell him I told you this, he's liked you since in ninth grade."
"Why didn't he say something then?!" I exclaim.
"The same reason you didn't. He was afraid he would get rejected."
"How do you even know this?"
"We're cousins, Will! We used to have sleepovers and we would see each other all the time. We told each other a lot of things."
"How long have you known?"
"Since tenth grade."
I sigh and bury my face in my hands. "It'll be okay, Will, I promise it will. Everything will work itself out." She says, putting a hand on my back and rubbing it a few times back and forth.
The bell rings and students come pouring out of the buildings. Alyssa and I file into the building and go into our next lecture hall, taking our normal seats. When the rest of our friends--and Kyler-- walk into the room and take their seats, Kyler deliberately takes the seat furthest down the row away from me.
When the class is over, I'm the first one from my row to stand up and leave the classroom, 'accidentally' bumping into Kyler. I feel the anger and hurt start to bubble up inside of me. I didn't think he would react this way, and now I don't know what to do. Do I try to make up with him, or do I continue to develop my relationship with the other guy and see where it goes? We have another free period on today's schedule, so I head towards the library again, this time picking a table far away from everyone else, and by myself. I look up when the chair across from me is pulled out. I look up and find myself looking at Alyssa. She sits down and looks at me.
"You look like you're going to cry," she says.
"Can't promise I won't," I say simply.
"Will, I promise it will be okay."
I look up as Kyler walks in and look back at Alyssa. "No, it won't," I say, grabbing my backpack and storming out of the library for the second time today, leaving Alyssa at the table by herself.
I walk towards the study hall and open the door, walking in and going to the table that's the most hidden from peering eyes. I pull the chair out and sit down, but I don't take anything out of my backpack. Instead, I stare down at the table, twiddling my thumbs and try to blink away the tears that are threatening to spill. Alyssa manages to find me again.
"Will, please come back." She says, not sitting down, but remaining standing. "He feels bad, he really does."
"He sure has a funny way of showing it." I snap.
This time she does sit down. "Listen, Will, give him some time. He'll come around," she says softly.
"I just don't know what to do...do I see where this goes between Kyler and I, or do I keep going with Michael? I don't want to hurt anyone, especially not Michael, but if I have a chance with Kyler, I want it!"
"I know you do, Will-"
"Don't you dare tell me to follow my heart."
"I wasn't! I'm going to tell you what I think you should do. Talk to Kyler. I know Kyler wants his chance with you, but if you feel like something would come from you and Michael continuing to talk, then do that." She gets up. "And let me know if you need anything," she says, offering me a small smile and walking out of the building. I look at my phone, scrolling through Michael and I's messages. What do I do? I've liked Kyler for so long, and the fact that I might actually have a chance...
My phone buzzes with a text.
Lys🐞❤️- Kai is heading back to your apartment
Lys🐞❤️- he said he didn't feel like going to his last class today
Me- okay thanks <3
Is the universe trying to tell me I should see what happens with Kyler and I? I think it is. I get up and walk out of the study hall, heading towards Kyler and I's apartment. As I walk through campus to get to our apartment building, I get more and more nervous, feeling my heart pound harder with each step I take. When I reach the point where I can see the apartment building in the distance, I take a deep breath and consider, briefly, turning around and forgetting all of this. But I continue on, walking towards the apartment building. Kyler should already be there because he was closer and he left before me. I open the main door to the apartment building, smiling at Henry, the doorman. Henry is a sweet old man, honestly. I consider taking the elevator but decide to take the stairs so I have more time to try and figure out what I'm going to say to him. I climb up the four flights of stairs and walk down the hallway towards our apartment. I dig in my pocket for my keys and pull them out, sticking them in the doorknob and turning them. The door opens and I walk in. I walk down the hall, past Kyler's closed bedroom door, and into my bedroom to put my backpack up. I breathe a deep breath before stepping out of my bedroom and going to Kyler's door to knock. My hands are shaking. My heart is pounding. I'm so nervous. It takes me a few seconds to gather up the courage to knock on the door, and just before I do knock, I walk away from the door and down the hallway to the living room. I pace the living room briefly. What do I say to him? What do I do? I should've thought about this before I came--oh wait, I did. I walk back down the hall and into my bedroom, checking my appearance in the mirror. I take in a deep breath and go to Kyler's door, knocking. I hear his chair roll backward and I hear him get out of the chair, walking towards the door. I take a big, deep breath just before he opens the door. When he opens the door, I stare at him briefly before stepping forward and pressing my lips against his. I cup his face in my hands and hope that I did the right thing. Maybe I didn't, but at least I did it. He pulls away and looks at me.
"What about...what's his face?" he asks.
"I didn't say we were talking, Kai, I said we might be talking," I say softly, looking at his face, and into his deep blue eyes. "I don't want him, Kai. I want you. I've wanted you since seventh grade."
His features soften as he looks at me. He leans his head against mine and closes his eyes briefly, before opening them again and looking up at me.
"I've liked you since ninth grade," he says softly. "I never thought I'd...yeah,"
"I didn't either, Kai."
He pulls my face to his, pressing his lips against mine again softly. I step closer to him, pulling his body against mine and holding him tight against me. Kyler starts moving backward and stops when we reach the bed. He breaks the kiss, only briefly, to sit down on the bed and pull me down on top of him. He cups my face in his hands as my arms wrap around his body softly. He moves a hand down to my shoulder and back to my neck.
I look at the clock on my nightstand as I'm doing some homework and find it to read 11:01 PM. I hear Kyler come and stand in my doorway. I look up at him, smiling.
"Hi," I say softly.
"Hi," he replies, smiling shyly.
"What's up?"
He blushes slightly.
I push my books away and get off the bed, going to stand in front of him. He looks up at me as I come close, smiling. I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him lightly. He wraps his arms around me and squeezes back, laying his head on my chest, and pulling back a few seconds later. He looks at me again.
"I just wanted to say goodnight," he says softly with a smile spreading across his lips.
"Well...goodnight," I reply softly, smiling back at him and pressing my lips to his. "Come lay with me," I add, a hint of whining in my voice. He hugs me again gently, laying his head on my chest again.
"Okay," he says simply, his voice a little muffled. He pulls away and goes into his room, reappearing a few minutes later with pajamas on, his phone, and his phone charger. He walks in my room and sits down on my bed and watches as I put my books away and turn my TV on, grabbing pajamas and going to the bathroom to change. I come back a few minutes later and find that Kyler hasn't moved. I sit down on my side of the bed and pull him back against me. He turns around and crawls into the bed beside me, weaseling his way into my arms. I look at him and press my lips against his.
I get to the library before Kyler does and sit down with our friends that are already there. Alyssa looks up as Kyler walks into the library and sits down beside me. She doesn't say anything, and neither does anyone else. When our free period is over, Kyler and I have different classes. We walk out of the library with our friends and Kyler turns to me before he walks off with some of our friends that are in the same class he's in. He presses his lips against mine gently, pulling away quickly and leaning against me. I wrap my arms around him gently and look at him. It's as if we're alone; as if our friends aren't there.
"I don't wanna go," he whines.
"It's okay, we have the next class together," I say softly.
"I don't wanna leave you,"
"It's just an hour,"
"I know..."
I laugh and kiss him again. He hugs me again and pulls away and starts walking towards his next class.
"Study hard!" I call after him.
He turns around and smiles. "You too!!"
I smile and turn around to find my Alyssa standing there.
"So, I take it last night went well..." she says with a huge smile on her face.
I can't help but smile too. "Yeah,"
"You two are cute,"
"Thank you,"
Alyssa and I are walking towards our next class--she has a different class but it's in the same building-- when someone comes running behind me. I turn around and see Kyler smiling brightly.
"How was your class?" I ask him.
He shrugs. "It was okay, I guess."
I beam at him and lean in and press my lips against his. He wraps his arms around my waist as he kisses me back. We pull back a few seconds later and he grabs my hand, lacing his fingers through mine as a few of our friends join up with us after coming from their various classes. They look at Kyler and I and smile. We walk in the building and we split up, heading to our different classes, Kyler and I staying together and going to the back of the room and taking our seats. He smiles at me again and I smile back, squeezing his hand before I let go so I can my books out of my backpack.
12/14/19