"Thank you, Los Angeles!" I yell into the microphone after I finish my last song of the night.
Well, almost my last song.
There's still my encore to perform.
The crowd cheers wildly for me and the noise is deafening.
It's such a rush.
I feel like I'm flying.
The energy being emitted from each and every one of my fans is incredible.
I don't think I'll ever get sick of this feeling.
The house lights come up and the crowd goes even crazier.
I think that might have been my best show to date.
About fifteen minutes into my performance I spotted the Kims, Rosé and Hanbin out of the corner of my eye. They were standing at the side of the stage with Jisoo and seeing them allowed me to relax.
I guess I did overact when I found out that they were going to be late.
Maybe I am spending too much time with Jisoo because that type of freak out over nothing is sort of her thing, not mine.
It's not an insult but there more than a few times when she's gotten upset only to find out later that all her fussing was for nothing.
And my gut is now telling me that's exactly what I just did.
Oh well, at least nobody has any clue how much I was panicking.
I wave to the audience as I walk off the stage.
I barely have a minute to gulp down some water and get my acoustic guitar from Jisoo, let alone say hi to anyone.
I smile at the big group of family and friends that have come to personally cheer me on but that's the only greeting they get from me.
"You kicked ass, Jen," Jisoo gushes before she hands me a towel.
I wipe my face as I flash her a big smile. "Was there ever any doubt?"
Jisoo doesn't seem to catch on that, yes, I had huge doubts.
I don't blame her though.
I can be quite good at covering up what I'm really thinking.
It's not something I'm proud of but it does come in handy for moments like this one.
"You can't fool me," Jisoo replies with a grin of her own. "You thought they weren't coming at all."
What?
She can tell I was thinking that?
Uh oh.
I might not be as slick as I thought I was.
"You're crazy, but I love you anyway," I tell Jisoo to play off the fact that she knows me so well.
"Sure, sure, whatever you say," she smirks.
Damn.
Jisoo is getting way too cocky for my liking.
Wait.
Why am I complaining about this new attitude?
It makes her even hotter.
Which is not an easy task considering Jisoo is by far the sexiest woman alive in my books.
Ok, I can't afford to get distracted when I'm almost done my show.
I kiss Jisoo to avoid discussing the matter any longer. "I'll be back in a few," I pledge before I head back out to the arena.
The crowd hasn't stopped clapping the whole time I've been backstage.
They deserve the encore I'm about to give them.
I look back at Jisoo one more time because I can, and when I do, I catch her frantically talking to someone I don't recognize.
That's weird.
What's going on?
I don't have time to find out though because my presence is being requested elsewhere.
As I walk back out to entertain the crowd my focus is on what could possibly be making Jisoo so unnerved.
I'm completely clueless.
Instead of dwelling on a mystery I cannot solve, I face my audience.
"How is everybody doing tonight?" I ask as I take a seat on the stool that was just placed in front of the microphone that's sitting in the middle of the stage.
I get a rousing standing ovation and I haven't even played a single note yet.
Not to sound brass, but I have the entire arena eating out of the palm of my hand.
"I thought I'd slow things down a bit," I explain as I make some adjustments on my guitar. "Are you guys up for a few more songs?"
You bet your sweet ass they are!
I look back at my band to make sure they're ready and when I see they are, I give Johnny the signal to start.
I glance over at the side of the stage to see if Jisoo has resolved whatever problem just came up but she's not there.
Things are getting weirder.
She never misses my encore.
Ever.
My gut is changing its mind again and my Spidey Sense is tingling.
I hear Johnny count off but when we go to play no sound comes out.
Shit!
There must be a problem with the amps.
I keep my cool however as I casually look over at George.
He shrugs his shoulders at me before he tries to figure out why they suddenly stopped working.
Nothing like this has ever happened.
Fuck!
I mean really!
We've played almost a hundred shows and it figures that some piece of equipment would go down at our last one.
Fuck!
Where the hell is Jisoo?
George makes some kind of hand gesture to me and I think he's telling me to stall for time.
I take a deep breath as I turn back to the masses of people that are now growing impatient. "Sorry folks, it seems like we're experiencing a minor technical issue that should be fixed very quickly."
I hope.
Fuck!
What am I supposed to do?
Thankfully the microphones are still working so at least I can communicate with the crowd.
"Is anybody here from out of town?" I ask to alleviate the brewing tension in the air.
Success!
I get a huge roar of laughter in response to my question.
"Hello everyone."
I whip my head around when I hear Jisoo's amplified voice.
Why does she have a microphone in her hand?
Why is she heading my way?
And what in the world is going through that head of hers?
She's smiling at me like she knows something that I don't.
"It looks like it'll a bit longer until everything is up and running again," Jisoo tells the crowd and me. Her announcement is met with a chorus of boos that she doesn't seem fazed by. "I know, I know, I want to hear Jennie play too but we have to patient."
The boos change to titters of laughter but I'm still on edge.
Something isn't right.
I can feel it in my bones.
One of the stagehands runs out to place another stool next to mine.
What the fuck?
"A lot of you know me as Jennie's manager and girlfriend," Jisoo starts as she takes a seat on the aforementioned stool. "But what you might not know is that I also can belt out a song if I do say so myself."
Uhm.
What?
Has Jisoo gone mad?
"What are you doing?" I ask my acting funny girlfriend and I'm careful to cover my microphone to avoid the whole audience hearing me.
Jisoo pats my knee but she doesn't answer my question.
"What I thought we could do to pass the time while we wait for our amazing crew to get everything working again is have Jennie and me sing a duet for you guys," Jisoo says.
Ok.
It's official.
Jisoo has lost her ever loving mind.
"A cappella of course," she clarifies.
Yeah.
I'm starting to get worried about her.
"What do you think?" she asks the audience.
I'm guessing by the strong reaction Jisoo gets, they love her idea.
I, on the other hand, do not.
I try to get Jisoo's attention without causing a scene but she keeps her eyes straight ahead.
"A lot of you may not know this, but today is the anniversary of the first time Jennie and I met." The crowd responds by awing and my blood pressure keeps rising. "And on that night Jennie and I were supposed to sing a duet but she got a little shy."
Hell to the nizzo!
I am not singing that song, with Jisoo, in front of my fans.
No way!
No how!
Jisoo glances over at me and then she flashes me a sly grin. "It seems like she's a little shy tonight as well." It's taking a lot of effort on my part not to drag Jisoo off stage to find out what she is up to. "Maybe Jennie could use some encouragement to sing with me."
Twenty thousand people jump to their feet but I will not be swayed.
I give Jisoo an incredibly dirty look so she'll get the hint that I'm not budging.
This is absurd.
Absolutely absurd!
She even tries pouting.
How sneaky of her.
I'm like a rock though.
I should probably find George but I can't take my eyes off Jisoo.
She has me infuriated and intrigued all at the same time.
"Ok, ok, you win," Jisoo relents.
Damn right I do.
Jisoo takes my guitar from lap before I can stop her and now I'm back to being pissed.
She better not try and play something because I have this thing about other people playing my guitars.
I make no exceptions to that rule.
Not even for Jisoo.
She hands the guitar off to a guy and then she links her fingers with mine.
What the fuck?
I am about to explode with anger.
This night is getting more and more out of control.
Argh!
Jisoo looks down at her watch and then back at me. She lets out a shaky breath and suddenly she appears a lot more nervous than she did a second ago. "This time a year ago almost to the minute I asked you question that I never got the answer to."
Huh?
What is she talking about?
A year ago almost to the minute?
That night Jisoo got really drunk.
I, on the other hand, got quite the eyeful of Jisoo.
She never asked me...
Oh!
My!
God!
Jisoo stands up as my jaw drops. "And I think it is time I ask you again."
No way!
No fucking way!
She wouldn't...
She couldn't...
"Except this time I'm completely sober." Jisoo drops her microphone to her side as she leans towards me. "I'm wearing more clothes."
I'd laugh if I wasn't in shock.
"And I hope tonight you say yes," she finishes and I gasp.
The audience does too.
I'm not paying attention to them though.
There's only one person who has that, and her eyes are boring into me.
"I gave you a lot of reasons that night about why I think I would make a good wife." Jisoo's voice and body are trembling.
I'm shaking too because I was so not expecting this.
Not one bit.
"And even though I don't bring you breakfast in bed every morning I think I've proven the other reasons to you time and time again." She has. "As you have done for me."
Jisoo drops the microphone a second time and what she's about to say next is only for my ears.
"Hopefully I've also proven to be the animal in the sack that I boasted about being." Her eyes are twinkling and I chuckle softly.
"You really have," I whisper in awe.
I can't believe her.
I can't believe she's doing this all for me.
Being this bold.
Being this brave.
Showing everyone in attendance tonight, our family, our friends and me what is in her heart.
"The next day, after you left my apartment," she says into the microphone "I told myself I was going on a journey, one that hopefully would lead me to a future with you, and it did."
Oh god!
My throat is tightening up and tears spring to my eyes.
Jisoo looks just as emotional as I'm feeling.
"But what meeting you has given me, is the knowledge and security that whatever journeys may lie ahead, I won't have to go on them alone." Jisoo clutches my hand as her tears start flowing. "Because you'll be by my side every step of the way."
I will.
Every step.
"And whichever road you choose to follow, Jen, I'll be by your side as well," Jisoo pledges, and I know it's one she won't break because she's already done that.
My tears start falling and it doesn't bother me that we're in a public setting.
I only see Jisoo.
I'm only listening to her words.
Right now, and in most cases, she's all that matters to me.
"The day you walked into my dad's office was a day that changed my life." Jisoo is struggling to keep her composure but she does by using the strength she possesses that I admire her for. "It was a day I brazenly announced to my brother and my best friend that I had met the girl I was going to marry."
She did?
Whoa.
I never knew that.
"And it also was a day that I found the one my soul loves." She is speaking so eloquently and I'm so proud of her. "I love you with all my heart, Jen, and I can say with confidence that will never change."
I feel exactly the same way.
Exactly!
I can't imagine living one second of the rest of my life not being madly in love with Jisoo.
It's just not possible.
"I don't know what life has in store for us, but I do know that we put a lot of time and effort into making our relationship work. I can't promise that we won't face problems, I can't promise that things will always be as good as they are today, but what I can promise you is that I will not run from any problems that come up and I will stay and fight for us if that's what is needed," Jisoo continues with a renewed sense of determination.
I hope one day I can be half the person Jisoo is.
I'm not putting myself down.
I'm simply admiring the amazing person that I'm in love with.
And the best part is, she's in love with me too.
"I don't need to ask if you'll make the same promises to me because I know in my heart that you already have." Jisoo removes her hand from mine and keeps talking before I can question her on why she did that. "I love you, Jen, so much, and I want to spend the rest of my days and nights with you."
Oh my god!
Here it comes!
You'd think a part of me would care that she's going to pop the question when I had planned to do the same thing.
But I don't.
Not one little bit.
All I care about is making things official and it looks like I'm about to get that chance.
I never dreamed when I met Jisoo that we'd end up here.
I hoped we would.
I wanted us to.
But I never allowed myself to dream of this because it seemed so unattainable at the time.
And now my once unimaginable dream is about to become reality.
Oh my god!
I don't think I'm breathing.
I feel warm.
I feel tingly.
I feel nervous.
I feel excited.
I feel thrilled.
I feel over the moon.
I feel special.
I feel cherished.
And most of all, I feel loved.
So very loved by the woman who has made so many of my dreams come true.
Not a day goes by that I don't thank whoever was responsible for sending Jisoo to me.
She rescued me from myself and from the many lies I was living.
She made me see the potential I had not only to be a good person but also to be a person who can be there for others.
She took away so much of the pain I was feeling and replaced it with a peace I still can't believe is real.
She showed me that standing up for what you believe in can make a difference.
She allowed me to make mistakes because I'm not perfect and she doesn't expect me to be.
She let me in to every part of her and that made me want to let her in to every part of me, even though it was not an easy thing to do.
I existed before I met Jisoo, but now I live.
I love.
And I don't take our time together for granted.
Not one second of it.
I nearly lost her once and I will do everything I possibly can to never let that happen again.
Jisoo knows that, she trusts me and I trust her completely.
With my thoughts.
With my feelings.
And with my heart.
Jisoo has given me so much and I'm not sure if she'll ever understand how deeply she has affected and changed my life.
But I will spend the next seventy or eighty years explaining it to her until she knows exactly what she's done.
She is my angel.
My love.
My best friend.
My biggest cheerleader.
My conscience.
My everything.
Not in the way that means I'm nothing without her but in the way that she is what I first think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep.
I never knew a love like ours existed.
That I could care and love for somebody so deeply.
It's out there.
It's possible.
And when you're ready and they're ready, you'll find each other like Jisoo and I did.
Jisoo gets down on one knee and I'm at a complete loss for words.
I hope I remember at least one though.
One that will seal our future together.
The arena is so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Jisoo puts her hand in her pocket and when she pulls it out she's holding an incredibly beautiful ring.
Not as beautiful as the woman holding it though.
It's a platinum band, encrusted with diamonds all around and it's shining so brightly I'm almost blinded by it.
I give her my left hand.
She has the ring by my finger.
You know which one.
Our eyes lock.
Our shared tears fall faster.
And our hearts beat as one.
"Jennie Kim, will you marry me?" Jisoo asks as the crowd, our family, our friends and the world fades away.
All that's left is the two of us.
Jisoo and me.
Me and Jisoo.
It feels like we're the only two people that exist.
And for this moment I think we are.
Just like it should be.
"Yes!" I somehow get out as I become overwhelmed with happiness, joy and love. "Yes! Of course I'll marry you!"
Was there ever any doubt?
I didn't think so.
Jisoo lets out a half sob-half laugh as she slides the ring on my finger.
We drop our microphones on the floor as we move to embrace each other.
In a haze of tears and joy I find Jisoo's lips.
We kiss to seal our commitment to each other.
We kiss to join our bodies and our hearts.
Officially.
Because that truly happened many months ago in her apartment.
I am going to marry Jisoo.
I will be her wife and she will be mine.
And nothing is going break the bond we share.
Not now.
Not ever.
As long as we both shall live.
__________________
SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!
next chap is gonna be the last chapter + epilogues and we're going back to jisoo's pov