I'm convinced my heart is going to explode.
It's beating that fast after I ring Jennie's doorbell.
I don't think it's healthy for it to be going this rapidly.
As the door opens, two thoughts send my already racing heart into overdrive.
What if Hanbin's home?
I might lose my nerve if he is.
Scratch that, I know I will.
The second thought, and the one that is more terrifying, is I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to say.
I probably should have decided that before I came over.
Well, I guess I can't be faulted for that, seeing as I only decided a few seconds ago to lay it all on the line.
But I should have stayed in the car and rehearsed the speech I'm going to give.
I could have edited and tweaked it to my hearts content.
Maybe I need to go back home and I'll return when I've gone through several drafts.
Yeah.
That's exactly what I think would be the right thing to do.
No, no, that's just my nerves talking.
My intentions haven't changed.
I'm going to get everything off my chest.
Everything.
That's the plan at least.
Hopefully I don't chicken out.
"Hey," Jennie says after she opens the door.
Yes!
No Hanbin!
Well, no Hanbin that I can see.
Jennie looks as apprehensive as I feel.
I step inside the entrance way and take a couple of deep, relaxing, soothing breaths that don't work at all.
I'm a wreck inside.
That doesn't mean I'm leaving but I wish I felt calmer.
"Hey," I reply as my eyes scan Jennie's place for Hanbin's unwelcome presence.
I don't see him anywhere.
We stay in the entrance way and my mind is still blank on how best to approach the subject of my feelings.
"Hanbin's playing basketball with your brother," Jennie informs me like she can read my thoughts.
I'm glad I didn't have to ask that question.
I nod my head as I cross my arms across my chest. "What are we doing?" I blurt out rather brusquely.
Sigh.
I don't want to start this conversation off by putting Jennie on the defensive.
"Never mind," I say quickly before Jennie can answer.
Jennie seems so on edge that I want to comfort her despite the uncertainty we're facing.
"About earlier, you know with the meeting this morning..." she starts.
I hold my hand up to stop her. "I didn't come here to discuss that."
I know it seems like I should hear her out and maybe I should.
But I've come to a realization while I've been wracking my brain for any ideas on where to begin what I'm sure will be an emotional ride.
As much as I wish that Jennie knows exactly what I'm feeling, that's not possible or fair for me to expect of her.
I've spent a lot of hours trying to figure out what she's thinking and perhaps she's been doing the same thing.
I can't expect more from her just because it would make it easier on me.
Despite the pain and hurt I've endured, all of Jennie's actions up until this point have been made blindly and without the truth being known to her.
Maybe she's just as confused as I am.
Maybe she's just as lost as I am.
Maybe she's just as scared as I am.
No matter how obvious my feelings might be to the world around us, maybe to Jennie they aren't.
I have my doubts.
It's only reasonable to think she has hers.
I've questioned her motives.
It's to be expected that she's questioned mine.
For all she knows, I'm not really interested in a relationship with her.
I know, I know, that doesn't seem likely but being in love, or feeling strongly for someone, can make your mind play tricks on you.
Your perspective can be skewered so you interpret events a certain way even if that's not what happened.
I am a perfect example of that theory.
What I'm about to do, should just be about her and me.
Not Hanbin.
Not her career.
Not Irene.
Not the mixed messages I perceive her to be sending.
Not anything but us.
Only us.
And right now, this needs to be about me, being honest with her.
One hundred percent honest about what I feel.
I'm terrified of what the outcome will be, but I'm more terrified of keeping my feelings to myself.
All the other stuff that's gotten in our way pales in comparison to how important this moment is.
"Ok," Jennie replies softly.
I can tell she's worried about what's going to come out of my mouth.
She can relax because I'm still stumped on how exactly I'm going to do this.
The fact that we've been plunged into silence makes it harder for me to come up with something good.
I'm about two seconds away from telling Jennie that I'm just a girl, standing in front of another girl, asking her to love me.
After a few uncomfortable minutes pass, I inhale sharply and begin. "Before I met you, I had given up on ever..."
I cut myself off before I sound any more like a cheesy movie with very predictable dialogue.
And then it hits me.
I get now why I've struggled so much to express myself properly.
It's time to stop thinking with my head.
And start speaking from my heart.
I clear my throat a few times and despite all my fears I am oddly confident. "When I first saw you talking to my dad, I have to admit, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen." Jennie blushes a bit and I try very hard not to get distracted by that sight. "I still do actually."
Jennie ducks her head down but I know I have to keep my concentration up because I want so badly to kiss her.
I contemplate showing Jennie how I feel instead of telling her, however, I am aware enough to know that would be a huge mistake.
"I felt such a strong attraction to you from that moment," I confess.
Jennie's eyes open wider but she remains quiet.
"But that doesn't even compare to how I feel now, after getting to know the amazing person that you are," I continue and I'm gaining confidence as I go. "I don't think you realize, Jennie, how nervous I was around you at first."
Her eyes are as warm as I've ever seen them.
"It seemed that no matter what I did or how I cool I wanted to act, I always ended up making a fool out of myself." Jennie goes to interrupt but there's no way I can let her, not when I'm on a roll. "But you never made me feel bad or did anything to fuel my embarrassment. What you did instead was allow me to laugh my clumsiness off or assure me that you didn't think less of me just because I fall." I pause a couple of beats. "A lot." I add with a shy smile that Jennie returns.
This isn't so tough.
I should have been truthful a lot sooner but what's done is done.
At least I'm taking this step now.
That should count for something.
"You embraced the side of me that I'm usually reluctant to show people." It's important that Jennie realize the exact impact she's made on my life. "And you allowed me to embrace that side of me as well." I didn't think that was even possible. "I shared with you a part of my past that nobody else knew and how you turned that around into one of the best nights of my life is simply remarkable."
I take a moment to compose myself because I'm getting emotional.
I'm not sad but the impact Jennie has had on me is beyond touching.
"You are remarkable, and the more I've gotten to know you, the more you continue to show me how good of a person you are." It takes a lot of effort to keep my eyes on Jennie's as I get closer to saying those words to her that I haven't said to anyone in years. "You make feel things that I didn't know I was capable of feeling."
I attempt to read Jennie but her expression has gone neutral.
I don't allow myself to get discouraged.
In fact, I am more determined than ever.
"I found in you someone I'm comfortable with and someone I can be myself around without fear of rejection or ridicule." My eyes well with up with tears. "I found in you a great friend that I can rely on completely."
My throat constricts but this next part is so important that I have to get it out.
I close my eyes briefly and once they're open, I stare directly into Jennie's. "And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you."
Wow.
I actually did it.
Wow.
This moment doesn't seem real.
But I know it is.
I don't even have a clue how to react to what I've just said.
Or how Jennie is going to either.
A few tears trickle down both our faces.
I do feel relieved that I admitted my feelings despite not knowing what's in Jennie's heart.
At least I got my part out.
I walk over to Jennie using my legs that I cannot feel.
I want to touch her.
I want to press my lips against hers.
I want to hear her say I love you back.
"I am in love with you, Jennie," I whisper as more tears fall. "I came here tonight to tell you that." My body quivers in anticipation. "And I also came here to find out if you feel the same way."
I fight the urge to look at the ground.
I fight the urge to grab Jennie and take her in my arms.
I fight the urge to say I love you, over and over again.
She knows where I stand.
I don't want to do any of those things until I know where she does.
The wait is killing me.
The longer she takes to respond, the more my confidence falters.
"I care so much about you, Jisoo," Jennie starts and her voice is thick with emotion.
I know what's coming.
And I'm certain I'm not going to like it.
"But only as a friend," she finishes with a lot of regret and sorrow.
Oh.
Well, there you go I guess.
She only sees me as a friend.
Wow.
I am floored.
Floored and shocked.
I didn't anticipate that from her.
At all.
I know I said I wasn't sure about her feelings but that was just a cover.
I truly thought she loved me back or at least thought of me as more than a friend.
But she doesn't
So.
Yeah.
That's about all I can do.
Right?
I can't force Jennie to have feelings for me.
I bet this is one of those learning experiences I'll look back on one day and be thankful for.
Not now though.
Because now I would rather be anywhere but here.
Seeing the pity in Jennie's eyes.
Friends it is.
It's not Jennie's fault that I fell in love with her.
So.
Yeah.
I haven't forgotten my promise to her and I will not be going back on my word.
But I'm not really sure what to do about this horrible, gut wrenching pain in my stomach.
That will fade with time.
Right?
So.
Yeah.
I'm going to leave.
I'm not running out of Jennie's life but I need not to be around her this second.
I need to just take some time and get over her.
Time heals all wounds.
Right?
"Ok," I mange to choke out through my heartbreak. "I should be heading home."
Jennie takes a step forward and I take one back. "I'm sorry..."
"No, no, that's fine," I lie and I'm almost blinded by the hot, salty tears pouring out of me. "I totally understand, I am fine and cool and..."
I give up trying to speak.
It's not use.
I don't have it in me to pretend this isn't devastating.
She's the one person who can't comfort me and yet she's the one person who I wish I could seek that comfort from.
I have my hand on the front door knob when I feel Jennie's hand on my shoulder. "Jisoo, wait..."
She spins me around and before I can react her lips are crashing down on mine.
Oh god!
My tears don't stop flowing.
It takes me a second to get over the shock of her kissing me before I respond.
Oh god!
Both her hands are cupping my face tenderly as I thread my fingers through her hair.
Our kisses are passionate and gentle.
Filled with...
No!
No!
No!
She's the one who said she wanted to be friends.
Nothing more.
This isn't right.
I try to push her away. "Jennie, stop..."
Her lips are pressed against mine, again.
Her perfect lips that are so incredibly soft.
They send of rush of emotions through out my body.
I want to feel relieved.
I want to feel happy.
I want to feel that she's telling with her actions that she loves me too.
But I don't feel any of those things.
Her tears also haven't stopped and I know what that means.
It means that she hasn't changed her mind.
Either she's not ready to admit what she's feeling or she's trying to force herself to feel something she doesn't.
And neither of those options is good enough for me.
I was willing to keep her in my life.
I was willing to not let my feelings interfere with my promise to her.
I was willing to not punish Jennie for something that wasn't her fault.
But I can't if she's going to keep doing this.
I run the risk of her confusing me or sending me conflicting signals like she is with these kisses.
She has to make a decision because it's not fair to me otherwise.
I can't expose my heart to anymore damage.
"Stop it," I say forcefully as I push Jennie away.
My stomach is clenching from what we just did but my resolve is strong.
My decision is made.
"You know what, I can't just be your friend, Jennie," I tell her and my body is screaming at me to keep contact with hers but I don't. "It has to be more than that or I'm out of your life."
I never intended to set any ultimatums tonight, but I feel I have to now.
Her face falls.
I'm sure mine does as well.
"And I need to figure out mine," I finish despite how much this is hurting me.
But I know that allowing myself to stay in this situation would hurt me more down the road.
I see how conflicted Jennie is while I wait a second time for an answer from her.
Her shoulders sag and her eyes leave mine.
She doesn't have to say a word.
Her silence speaks volumes.
Jennie's not choosing me.
That leaves me with only one course of action.
To open to the front to door and walk away from the girl I'm in love with.
And that's exactly what I do.
**
But only as a friend.
But only as a friend.
But only as a friend.
I can't get those five awful words out of my head.
I'm not surprised considering I drove from Jennie's right over to my thinking spot.
The same spot I took Jennie on our day-o-fun.
I probably should have chosen somewhere else to wallow but I don't want to go home just yet and I need some time to clear my thoughts.
Yeah, like that's likely to happen. There are so many conflicting emotions I'm going through but ultimately one sentence filters through them all.
One sentence I wish I never heard.
But only as a friend.
There is actually another reason why I'm avoiding my apartment.
You're going to think I'm crazy though.
Even I think I'm crazy for entertaining this reason.
Oh well, it's not like I have much to left to lose when I've already lost the girl of my dreams.
I came here because I have this wacky notion that when I get home, Jennie will be there waiting for me.
She'll pull me into her strong arms and tell me she made the biggest mistake of her life before she responds to my declaration with "I love you too."
And then the words "they lived happily ever after" will finally become true.
I'd love to say I don't believe in happy endings anymore.
I'd love to say that, but it's not true.
That's pretty screwed up, right?
I laid my heart out for Jennie and she told me in no uncertain terms that my feelings were not returned. So, why would such a preposterous scenario keep me from going home?
It's because she kissed me.
With a lot more passion than friends usually kiss each other.
If she hadn't, maybe my heart would already be on the mend.
Ok, ok, that's not realistic, but still, she shouldn't have kissed me.
Jennie gave me hope and hope is the last thing I need right now.
It would make things so much easier for me if I could be mad at her.
If my feelings of love could be turned around into feelings of anger.
But that's not going to happen any time soon because I just don't have it in me to angry with Jennie, even if she deserves it.
And she probably does.
I lean over the railing and gaze out at the city.
The city that is supposed to be a place where dreams come true.
Not for me though.
My dreams ended with those five words.
But only as a friend.
I have to accept that, despite the tiny seed of hope Jennie planted in my mind.
I've been crying on and off since I left Jennie's place, but for the most part I've been pretty composed. I haven't gone hysterical despite having every reason to.
Perhaps that will happen tomorrow.
Or the day after that.
Eventually, the break down that I'm trying to avoid will take place and I know there's nothing I can do to prevent that from coming to fruition.
I continue to look upon the beautiful scenery that used to calm my nerves, but now it doesn't.
There's no point staying here however.
I'm just delaying the inevitable.
I might as well go home, see that Jennie's not there and then figure out a way to get some sleep with such a heavy heart.
Life really blows at times.
I know I have a lot to be grateful for and there are many things worse than being rejected.
I totally get that.
I just wish this didn't have to hurt so damn bad.
I get back in the Jisoomobile and nearly lose it when I see my Minnie Mouse ears in the backseat. I force myself to drive without crying again and when I pull into my building the urge to bawl is gone.
For the most part.
I step out of the elevator once it's reached my floor, with my head hanging, and it's only when I hear someone clear their throat that I look up.
Jennie!
Oh my god!
She is here!
No!
I refuse to get my hopes up.
It's just going to crush me further when they're dashed.
Again.
We stare at each other while I try to figure out what exactly she's doing here.
The anger that I didn't feel before is slowly making its way into my mind the longer she doesn't say anything.
Hello!
She showed up at my home, she should do the talking first.
Jennie looks lost and for the first time since we met I have zero desire to help her or make her feel better.
Once I realize she isn't about to speak any time soon, I let out a grunt of frustration and walk passed her.
I'm more than a little peeved.
And still very much in love.
I unlock my apartment door while avoiding eye contact with Jennie. I push my front door open and as much as a huge part of me would love to leave Jennie standing outside I can't. I silently tell her to come in and she does.
We make our way over to the couch, the couch we once made out on but I can assure you there will be no kissing or groping on that couch tonight.
I'm done with her unless she's here to beg for my forgiveness.
I talk such a tough game that I'll one day back up with my actions.
Jennie remains stoic, so I guess it's up to me to start the dialogue.
Of course.
I turn to Jennie and I'm fairly sure I'm pouting. "So?" I question her with a shake of my head.
"So, I'm sorry," she replies quickly with that sultry, raspy voice of hers that I normally cannot resist.
Stay strong Jisoo, you cannot give in just because she apologizes.
"I'm sorry for the come here-go away trip I've been putting you through." She does seem sincere, that should count for something. Right? "And I'm sorry for kissing you tonight."
Damn right you should be!
Wait, I should hear her out.
I have no will power when it comes to Jennie.
"Ok," I tell her, even though it's not. I can't let this go. "Why would you do that?" I ask, because I need a real answer.
As much as I want to give in and just accept her apology, I have to know why she's been acting hot and cold.
Not to mention the very inappropriate kissing after she rejected me.
I can tell that whatever Jennie's about to say, isn't easy for her.
I wonder how long she's been waiting for me.
I wonder if she's been practicing this in her head.
I wonder if she's finally going to give me the answers I deserve.
Above all, even if it hurts, I want the truth from her.
Jennie appears very solemn as she prepares to get out whatever it is she came to say. "Because I want you..."
Whoa.
Wait.
What?
Yes!
"...And I don't want to hurt you," she finishes without smiling.
No!
See, mixed messages.
I want you, but I don't want to hurt you.
What does that mean?
Ugh.
I know, I'll actually do the unthinkable.
I'll ask her!
I consciously move away from Jennie to avoid getting sucked into the good feeling that being close to her brings out in me. "What does that mean?"
Yeah!
There you go!
Direct and to the point.
Jennie sighs as she fidgets with her fingers. "It means that even though my feelings for you aren't as simple as wanting to be friends, I can't be with you."
You know what?
Did she come over just to crush me further?
If that's true, why even tell me?
Huh?
God, I have no clue how to handle this.
No clue!
"Fine, thanks for sharing, you can leave now," I tell her as my frustration level grows.
I don't know what's harder to deal with, Jennie leading me to believe that she only cared for me as a friend, or Jennie having feelings for me but not being able to do anything about it.
Both options are horrible.
That, I know for sure.
"I understand you're upset," Jennie says and I scoff in indignation.
That is like the understatement of the century.
Jennie isn't done though, so I suppose I'll have to hear her out. "I just thought I owed you an explanation, and I hate how things were left between us."
"There is no us, Jennie ," I say bitterly.
What?
I'm allowed to be ticked off.
"I know," she replies so quietly, I'm completely disarmed. Damn it! "I wish there was a way but..."
"Why?" I snap before she gets out another word. "Why can't you be with me?"
I have to be forceful or I'm going to succumb to my feelings.
I can't afford to.
Jennie glances away but I continue to stare at her.
It actually feels sort of good to be this irked, it makes me forget my pain.
"Because I love Hanbin," Jennie explains, reluctantly, or so it would appear. "He's my boyfriend and I can't hurt him like that."
Boyfriend!
Boyfriend!
Boyfriend!
She said that.
She used those words.
And they've stopped me cold.
Not to mention the whole I love him part.
It was one thing to make assumptions, it was one thing to brush off Ethan's use of the word relationship but it's a whole other thing to hear that word come from Jennie's mouth.
Hanbin's her boyfriend.
She loves Hanbin.
I refuse to ask her if she's in love with him because I think the answer is pretty clear.
I was able to ignore my conscious because I believed, and so did other people, that they weren't a couple.
That's impossible to do after what she just told me.
He's her boyfriend and I should have respected that from the beginning.
But my own feelings got in the way of what I knew was right.
My own messed up belief that Jennie was my destiny allowed me to cross a line I never thought I would cross.
Whatever pain I'm suffering from now, I brought on myself by pursuing Jennie when she's with Hanbin.
I confused her and she loves him.
There's my truth.
There's my dose of reality that I can't hide from anymore.
I've become the person that crushed me in high school.
How fucking ironic.
I shouldn't be feeling this way about Jennie when she's with him.
Even if it doesn't seem fair and let me tell you it doesn't.
"He needs me now, with our record deals," Jennie further explains. "After everything, I can't just abandon him when he's so close to..."
"I understand," I whisper. I can't listen to or be around her any longer. "Thanks for coming back and I'm sorry if I caused any problems for you."
Do I think Jennie is staying with Hanbin now to help him further his own career?
Yes.
Does that make a difference?
No.
That's her decision to make and I refuse to come between them any more than I already have.
My days of interfering in their relationship are over.
Jennie frowns and I'm not sure why. "I'm sorry too and maybe if things were different and I wasn't with..."
Oh god!
Don't say it.
Please!
I give her a weak smile and cut her off. "Yeah, but they aren't."
Maybe five years from now, I'll be walking down the street and run into Jennie, the newly single Jennie and maybe we can give it a go then.
Not now.
The time just isn't right for us.
The stars are not aligned.
And we're not meant to be.
I say goodbye to Jennie with no promise of when or if we'll speak again and no touching either.
It's only once she's gone that I remember, I'm the one who's supposed to be representing her and that means seeing her and Hanbin together, all the time.
Oh great!
Yet another reason for me to feel even shittier.
I hope Hanbin realizes what a lucky man he is.
Because I sure do.
And there's nothing in this world I wouldn't give to be in his shoes.
I cry myself to sleep, the first of many nights I'm sure, as the fact that I'm not going to get the girl begins to sink in.
I woke up this morning feeling absolutely horrendous.
My eyes were heavy from all the tears I've shed and my body felt like it had gone twelve rounds in a boxing match that I lost.
I did lose, big time.
Jennie's gone and now I'm doing something I never thought I'd ever do to start the healing process.
No, I'm not at a bar drinking my sorrows away.
Although that thought did cross my mind.
After debating long and hard about what to do, I finally dragged my ass out of bed, got dressed and drove over to the office.
I know!
I couldn't believe it either.
I thought about calling Rosé or Bobby but the idea of having to explain why I'm no longer pursuing Jennie held zero appeal to me.
I will have to eventually but I'd rather bury myself in work to distract me from my troubles.
Besides, with my week off sick and my time spent on Operation Jensoo, I have so much to catch up on.
I ignored Jennie's file when I saw it on top of the pile in my inbox and got to work.
I worked for god knows how long with my office door closed after I put the picture of me and Jennie in my top drawer.
It proved to be too much because I kept starting at it and reveling in how amazing we looked together.
Damn, do we ever.
But I banished those thoughts because they aren't going to do me any good.
Yeah, I know I'm going through the denial stage but denial is helping me not have a complete melt down.
I continued working, despite not eating a thing all day, I just had no appetite.
It's only when four o'clock rolls around that I decide to pack it in.
I've been at the office for over six hours and I can't stay here any longer.
I send Rosé a text to let her know I'm on my way.
I hope she's ready to be the shoulder I need to cry on.
I asked her to get together without giving her any details about what went down with Jennie last night.
I knew she'd drag me away from work and I just wasn't ready then to talk.
I'm ready now.
I exit my office and I'm about to head to the elevator when I notice the light in Bobby's office has been left on.
I shake my head as I walk over to shut it off.
Just because I'm heartbroken, doesn't mean I'm going to allow energy to be wasted.
Rosé better have some ice cream in her freezer because...
My thought comes to a screeching halt when I open Bobby's office door.
"Oh my god," I squeal when I see what I just walked in on.
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Bobby is on his knees, uhm, servicing Hanbin.
"Jisoo, don't you knock?" Bobby shrieks while Hanbin turns away from me.
Ew!
Ew!
Ew!
My eyes!
My eyes!
My eyes!
"I am so sorry," I say as I slap my hand over my eyes.
I blindly walk backwards and shut the door quickly to avoid any further embarrassment.
I never, ever, ever, want to witness something as disturbing as that...
Whoa!
Wait!
What?
Did I just see Hanbin?
As in Jennie's Hanbin?
As in her boyfriend?
The same boyfriend that she loves.
The same boyfriend that she's staying with because she doesn't want to hurt him.
The same boyfriend that she's trying to be loyal to even though she has feelings for me.
That two timing asshole!
How dare he!
He's getting a record deal and some on the side without caring about Jennie's happiness.
That's so fucked up.
And apparently, he's also gay!
Oh my god!
Bobby!
How long has he known?
My head can only take so much information at once.
It's about to overload.
"Jisoo," I hear Hanbin say behind me and I completely lose it.
"You jerk!" I scream as I turn around. "How could you?"
Hanbin seems genuinely surprised by my outburst. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb with me, asshole!" I scream even louder and then I shove him backwards.
Damn, that felt so good.
"How could you do that to her?" I ask and I follow my question up with another shove.
I hope Hanbin's scared because he should be.
I have so much pent up rage in me that I would run if I were him.
"Jisoo, stop," Bobby shouts as he steps in front of Hanbin. "You don't know what you're talking about."
I knew the moniker Douche Boy was appropriate when I named Hanbin that.
All this time, pretending to be a nice guy, it was all a big cover for being a certified fucker.
Does he even realize what Jennie's scarified to stay with him?
Does he?
"Shut up, Bobby," I tell my brother as I grit my teeth. "This doesn't concern you."
"Yes, it does," Bobby replies with just as much fire in his eyes as I'm feeling in my gut.
Hanbin puts his hand on Bobby's shoulder. "Give us a minute, I'll be ok."
Oh no you won't!
My nostrils are flaring and my hands are clenched at my side.
After Bobby's gone I'm going to teach Hanbin a lesson he won't soon forget.
"Fine," Bobby huffs. Like he has any right! "I'm just on the other side of the door if you need me," he says to Hanbin before he goes back inside his office.
I will so deal with him later.
"Let me explain," Hanbin implores me once we're alone.
Ha!
Like that's a possibility now.
Despite the fact that Jennie chose to stay with Hanbin, I still want her to be happy.
And what I just saw means she's going to get her heart broken.
She loves him.
"Explain what?" I spit out with as much hate and disgust as I can muster. "Explain why you're cheating on Jennie, is that what you're going to explain?"
Oh man, he's going to be so sorry he ever strayed from such a magnificent creature like Jennie.
He doesn't deserve her.
Hanbin shakes his head but I don't give him the chance to defend himself.
Really, what could he possibly say?
"You're a real prince," I let out a haughty laugh as I step towards D.B. "You screw around on Jennie, all the while getting a sweet ass record deal that you don't even deserve."
Hanbin keeps shaking his head.
Oh snap!
Hold up.
I think I just figured the whole thing out!
Now it all makes sense.
Hanbin's not her boyfriend at all!
I jab Hanbin in the chest as my anger spills over. "You're forcing her to pretend to be your girlfriend to cover up the fact that you're gay. Aren't you?" How could I not see that? "I can't believe you're making Jennie be your beard."
I'm about to pop Hanbin one, when his response to my accusation sends me reeling.
"I'm not making Jennie be my beard," Hanbin sighs. "She's the one using me as hers."
________________
Were you even surprised?