August 1st // 10:52 pm
By the time 5sos finished their last song countless tears had ran down my cheeks and my voice had practically vanished.
I still couldn't believe that they were real. Those tickets were practically impossible to win, but this is a whole new level of imponderable luck. Nothing there could've been real. It had to have been a figment of my imagination.
"Thank you guys so much for coming out to see us tonight. We love you and thanks for all the support!" Ashton kindly said into his mic.
Calum, Luke, Ashton, and Michael all walk up to the edge of the stage and did a group bow. They were all smiling and giggly.
The band waved goodbye and quickly walked off the stage.
Now I get to go backstage, I thought. At the time I thought making a mental to-do list would help me be less frantic. Believe me when I tell you I was so wrong. All I have to do is walk out of The Pit and find Chuck.
I turned away from the stage to try and exit The Pit. So many girls were trying to leave at once it would've taken me at least fifteen minutes to move past just ¼ of the crowd. There were girls in cropped tops and high-waisted jeans elbowing girls in black skinny jeans and Chuck Taylors. Looking at it now, it's kind of like a metaphor for how two totally different groups of people can come together. Even if it is only for a couple of hours.
Someone tapped on my shoulder, making me turn back toward the stage; it was the bodyguard that escorted me onstage just an hour or so ago.
"Bea, Chuck is waiting for you backstage. C'mon, I'll take you," the guard explained. He unlatched the barricade and began guiding me to Chuck's location.
When we reached him, Chuck spoke; "Hey, Bea." He walked up and hugged me tighter than expected. "How was the concert?"
"It was just..." I hesitated a moment. How could I describe it without being too over the top and cheesy. "It was just... wow," I answered. "Thank you so much, Chuck. Seriously."
Chuck laughed a little. "Of course. Now, are you ready to meet the guys?"
Probably not, I thought. Lying, I answered, "I think so."
"Their dressing room is right down there," Chuck pointed down the hall.
As I walked to their room a few people from the radio station with cameras silently followed me. I didn't really mind them, having that moment captured on video was actually something I hoped would happen anyways.
Chuck was behind me when I reached the door. "Go on. Open it. Actually, you should probably knock first."
With shaky hands, I lightly knocked on the door. I was so nervous. Finally I'd be able to meet the four boys who've helped me through so much. Finally I'd be able to actually hug Luke in real life. Dreaming about him really wasn't cutting it anymore.
"Come in," A thick Australian accent spoke. Ashton.
I put my hand on the knob but couldn't turn it. I just stood there. Frozen.
"Oh my god, just move." Chuck nudged me out of the way and opened the door himself. "Hi, boys," he said loudly.
They were all standing there at the door.
"Hi, um..." Michael didn't know Chuck's name.
"Chuck Wess. I'm from the radio station that Bea won the tickets from," Chuck explained.
"Bea?" Luke's head peered out the door. Did his face really light up just by hearing my name?
"She's right here." Chuck grabbed my arm and yanked me in front of the door.
Then there I was, looking right at Luke.
"She's gonna spend some time with you guys, if that's okay." Chuck said it more like a statement not a question. I wish my social skills were like that. "It was part of the contest."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course," Michael answered with a smile.
Chuck pushed me into the room, knowing I was still frozen, and then shut the door behind him. He was gone and I was now alone with the boys. I was surprised, expecting there to be at least one security guard in the room to make sure I didn't assault or violate the band.
Okay, Bea. Now is the time you need to stay calm and collected. You can't act like the creepy stalker fan that you truly are, you have to normal. Normal, normal, normal. Just this one time be normal.
"Hello, Bea," Luke said with awkward confidence (if that's even possible).All I could say was "lu-", incapable of finding the k and e.
"Luke," He giggled. "I'm Luke. Obviously."
I smiled awkwardly, blushing and slightly shaking from adrenaline. "Obviously," I repeated, rolling my eyes.
Calum stepped in front of Luke, blocking him like a barrier. "Hey, Bea. You were so good tonight." He lifted his arms, asking for a hug like a puppy begs for a treat. I didn't say no.
Wrapping my arms tightly around Calum's waist, he did the same. It felt awesome. His skin was warm and I could feel his strength. He subtly squeezed me and at that moment I realized how long it had been since my last real hug. It seemed like it'd been years.
Michael pulled Calum away like a child, making me laugh. "My turn," he said.
The hug was just as good as Calum's.
When Michael released me from his grasp Luke thought it was his turn, but Ashton moved into his way and hugged me extra tight.
"I can't breathe," I muttered.
Ashton laughed and my heart skipped a beat.
"C'mon now," Luke said impatiently. Ashton let go of me and moved out of the way for Luke. "Hello," he greeted again.
Instantly I was teary-eyed. This was it. This was what I've been waiting for for over two years now. I stopped thinking and just hugged Luke. He hugged me right back. Despite how cheesy it sounds, our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. I hope he was as happy as I was, but I don't think that's possible.
Luke propped his chin on the top of my head and I rested my cheek on his black shirt. I breathed in through my nose and learned that he smelt like a mixture of expensive cologne and a hint of beer. Even his scent made my brain tingle.
"Alright, you two," Michael interrupted. It took Luke a second to realize that his eyes were closed and they'd been hugging for a long time.
When I looked at Luke again he was looking at me, staring. Did I have a massive zit on my face? Did my hair look stupid? Was I just completely mesmerizing? That last thought made me almost laugh out loud.
"You can pick a song off the playlist if you want, Bea," Ashton said, pointing to an iPhone plugged into the wall.
I walked over and pushed the home button on the bottom of the phone, turning it on. The lockscreen was a grainy picture of Calum with John Feldmann and Kellin Quinn in the studio. Calum looked so happy and cuddly in an oversized jumper and beanie.
"Oh, my password is 0-1-2-5," Calum called out.
Okay, yep, just tell me your password. That's cool. That's chill, I thought. I don't even tell my mom my own password.
I typed in the password and quickly skimmed through his artists and chose one at random. Paramore. Then I put the band on shuffle and locked his phone again. Crushcrushcrush began to play.
"You like Paramore?" Ashton asked.
"Yeah, like a lot. Hayley Williams is so talented. My friend actually looks kind of like her..." I answered. I could get very passionate about my music taste.
"Hayley is so cool. What other music do you listen to?" Ash questioned.
"Um... My listen to anything, really. My taste varies from hard metal to broadway showtunes."
"Broadway showtunes?"
Oh my god, Bea. Really? Broadway showtunes? Why are you so lame! I thought to myself, full of embarrassment.
"Sounds interesting," Luke assured, sending me a wink.
I let out a sigh of relief.
* * * * * *
"Oh my god, you psycho!" Luke's voice was muffled from under Michael.
We'd all been talking about music for about fifteen minutes until Mikey decided to tackle Luke.
Ashton quickly jumped on top of Michael and Calum did the same to Ash, creating the Leaning Tower of 5sos. Luke let out a groan. They all started laughing at themselves.
"Bea, will you take a picture of us?" Calum asked.
"Yeah, sure," I answered, grabbing his phone. I snapped a few photos quickly than plugged the phone back in.
"C'mon, Bea," Luke said, hinting for me to jump on the pile of boys.
"Okay..." I agreed hesitantly. Now how should I approach this? Should I leap right on or carefully hop up? I decided I'll just jump up like a normal person. With my back against Calum's back, we all laid there on the floor. I could feel Calum's heavy breaths as his chest went up and down.
Oh god, I'm probably crushing him, I thought. No, Bea, you are hot and petite. You are fine, I argued with myself.
"Please get off of me, guys, I'm dying," Luke practically begged.
I hopped off of them instantly like one of those popper things you get for winning five tickets at an arcade.
The guys got off of each other one by one, laughing as they did.
"Assholes," Luke muttered. "Except for you, Bea. You're cool." He winked again.
My face began to hurt from all of the smiling I had done that day.
As we all talked, Luke sat next to me on the couch. Every once in a while Luke would knock his knee against mine. Every time he did I'd look at him and we'd giggle like schoolgirls at eachother.
There was suddenly a knock at the door.
It's time to go already? I thought.
Chuck was at the door with the bodyguard that had escorted me around all afternoon. "Alright, Bea. It's time to head out."
The second I got up, Luke sprung up, too. He hugged me unexpectedly. "Bye, Bea," he whispered in my ear right before letting me go.
"Bye, Bea," the rest of the band said as I waved goodbye.
The door was shut behind me and then it was over. My dream had come to an end. Now it was time for reality. Boring, depressing, empty, reality.
I had waited outside of the dressing room for a minute, needing to take a moment for myself. Chuck quickly got ahead of me and disappeared behind a corner. I was alone once again.
Suddenly, as I tried to find my way to the front entrance, a hand pulled at my wrist and I was forced into a tiny janitor's closet. Instinctively, I was about to scream for help a light turned on in the closet and Luke's eyes were looking right into mine and he had his finger over his lips, telling me to be silent.
"Bea, this might seem weird but-""It's actually extremely weird," I interrupted. We both laughed.
"But," he continued. "I'm really not supposed to do this and it's totally against the rules but can I have your number? I really like you, Bea. And I really wanna see you again."
"Seriously?" No. Fucking. Way.
"Seriously," Luke sounded so genuine. I hoped I could believe him.
I smiled once again. "Yes. Yes you can have my number. It's, uh..."
"Here," Luke handed me his unlocked phone with the new contact set up all ready.
As I put in my number, Luke bounced up and down on his heels.
Once I handed Luke his phone he was on it and typing something. My phone vibrated in my bag a second later. I grabbed it and check my notifications. The new message was just a winky face emoji. I looked up at Luke, slightly confused.
"I texted you so you have my number, too," Luke stated.
"So you're actually going to text me?" I said, only half joking. "You're not gonna be like every other guy and take my number than never talk to me again?"
I thought about what I said for a second.
"Wait, that sounded really mean," I said, full of apology. I thought I'd blown it right then and there.
"No, I know what you mean. It's okay," Luke said. Was it really okay though? I'd just acted like a total bitch right in front of him.
My phone vibrated again. It was a text from Jenn. "Uh, I think I have to go."
"Alright. But, Bea," Luke looked at me with his baby blue eyes. "I really, really wanna see you again. Soon."
"You're cute." In the spur of the moment, I booped his nose and dashed out of the closet.
~~~
(September 2014) GUYS. I'm so sorry I haven't updated since forever ago but here it is. Chapter 4.
I couldn't update at all last week because I had to go up to my grandparents'. It sucked most of the time, I'm not gonna lie. But, I'm so happy to be writing again and I hope you like this chapter.
It's almost 1,900 words omg. x
(June 2015) Helloooo! Thank you guys sooo much for over 1,000 reads wowowwow! I say this every time I update, but I am sorry I take years and years to update. I love you and I hope you enjoy this chapter even though it stills makes me cringe.