Radio Love // l.r.h

Chapter 8

August 2nd // 10:20 am

"So, um, I've lived in a small town all my life," I began. "And I've always had these big dreams that I knew could never happen."

"Like what?" Luke asked.

"Well, you know, it's what everybody wants to be. I've always wanted to be a celebrity. Like an actress or singer. But I can't be either of those."

"Why not?"

"Because one; I can't sing for shit. And two; I can't even think about auditioning for a role without being totally engulfed in anxiety," I explained.

"Oh it can't be that bad," Luke said.

"You don't even want to know," I shook my head. Should I tell him? What if he thinks I'm too high maintenance if I tell him?

"Trust me, Bea. I do." He looked at me straight in the eyes, serious.

Shit. Why does he have to do this to me? "It wasn't until the sixth grade when it really sank in, but whenever something unfortunate happened in my life or to someone I loved, I would get this harsh feeling that rushed through me. Whenever my sister did something mean to me or my dad would yell, i would go lock myself in the bathroom and sort of break down."

I was trying to be open. It took so much in me just to be open with my mom and tell her about my problem. When she wanted to take me to the doctor to get me medication, however, I lied and said it wasn't that serious.

"My whole family thought that when I would go to the bathroom I would just sit there and pout forever." I laughed a little, remembering when my family was all together. "Really what I was doing was trying to calm down because I knew I was overreacting. Like who cries over things like ordering food at a restaurant when you're in middle school?" I rolled my eyes, remembering how pathetic I was. Thank god I've learned how to cope with things like that at least a little bit better.

I tried to explain as much as I could to Luke without overwhelming him. He just sat there like his attentive little self and listened to every word I had to say. Why was he such a gentleman? Weren't rock stars supposed to be douchebags?

"What made your anxiety get way worse when you were thirteen?" Luke asked.

"Uh..." Oh shit. I'm going to have to tell him about my father. I swear if I cry I'm going to kill myself.

"It's okay, Bea. You can tell me." Luke lightly kicked my foot under the table.

I took a deep breath. "During the fall when we had already had our first snowfall of the year, my  dad and sister were going grocery shopping. The roads were really slippery but my dad was used to that so he thought they'd be fine. So they went shopping and everything was okay, but on there way back the roads had gotten even worse. And, uh, my dad hit black ice and completely lost control and they got hit by a huge semi that was coming from the opposite direction." I was looking at my empty plate now, trying not to think about my family.

You're okay, I thought to myself.

"Holy shit, Bea, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, no, it's fine. Really," I said, trying to reassure him.

"No, I shouldn't have brought it-"

"Luke. Stop. It's okay. Alright?" I interrupted.

"Okay."

"But the thing is, my friends don't even know about it. I haven't even told them. How bad of a friend can I be?" I shook my head again.

"It's okay. I get it," Luke was reassuring me now. "Sometimes I wear Cal's underwear without asking." Luke winked at me again, making me smile.

* * * * * *

Luke looked at his phone, probably checking the time. Him and I had finished our brunch a about an hour ago and just couldn't stop talking. We were both rambling on about random and pointless things at this point.

"We should get going if we want to make it to part two of our little adventure," Luke spoke.

As I got out of my chair I said, "Where to?"

"There's not really much to do here tourist wise so it took a lot of researching and Google searches, but," Luke explained.

"But," I repeated.

"I found an art museum that's just down the block from here."

"You like art?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes. Y'know, Bea there is more to me than meets the eye. I'm not just a douchey guitar player in a band."

"I know. I'm sorry," I apologized, quickly regretting my choice of words.

"I'm just messing with you, Bea. It's okay. I just thought you might think I was more intellectual if we went to an art museum," Luke laughed.

I pushed him lightly. "You are a douchey guitar player in a band," I joked.

"That hurt my sad little rocker heart," Luke made a fake crying face, making me laugh again.

Luke opened the door for me and rested his hand on the small of my back, lightly guiding me out.

"Have a nice day," our waitress waved.

The streets still weren't as busy as I thought they would be. There were only a few people walking on the sidewalks and looking inside the small shops. It was definitely a good thing. Luke probably knew that this place wasn't that busy and he could get away with taking a fan out without people snapping billions of pictures of us. Imagining all the hate I'd probably receive from some of the ruder fans made my palms sweaty.

Luke and I walked side by side on the pavement. As we walked our hands kept hitting against each other. "Sorry," I kept saying.

"Here." Luke took his right hand and laced it with my right. "Fixed it."

Looking down at our hands, a big grin spreads across my face. I could feel Luke's little ring he always wore on his pinky rubbing against my skin. That was the hundredth realization that day that this was actually happening to me. This was the stuff that didn't even happen in my dreams.

~~~

(Nov 2014) Chapter 8 YASSS!

It's about time, I know. I've been slacking off a lot but HEY FOUR CAME OUT TODAY AND GUESS WHO GOT THE DELUXE. Not me, my mom refused to take me to Walmart to get it lol. I almost cried wow I'm in too deep.

I hope you guys have a good evening ily and thanks for reading. I really appreciate it. x

(July 2015) These chapters are so short wowowow. But hey, I updated. I just want to say that this story isn't supposed to be about Bea Miller and Luke haha. It's totally ok for you guys to see Bea as her but I just want you to know that Lauren Talli is supposed to be Bea. I love you guys and thank you so much for readinggg. Please vote and feel free to comment on anything. xxx