19 - two team -
—
"Taeyong, you don't have to help me, you know."
"I know. But, I want to. And, what kind of person would I be if I didn't?"
The lights were still out as I crouched down to untie my shoes, my fingers shaking as they weaved through the laces. The after effects of the cold were still lingering in me, sending light shivers through my body.
The good part of me was already scolding my decision to walk home, even if it was just a measly couple blocks. But, another part of me was still clinging stubbornly to my preliminary thoughts, preventing me from dwelling much in the latter.
Though as I was debating with myself, I immediately stopped when I noticed someone crouch down next to me.
Taeyong looked comically unbothered in the cold temperature, his plain dress shirt and suit jacket seeming like it was doing him enough justice to be comfortable. Meanwhile, there was me in a thick shirt and a hoodie yet still freezing.
"Cold?" He asked, raising a brow as I turned my attention to him.
I let out a sheepish laugh as I stood up, slipping off my shoes. "Nothing that can't be fixed,"
And for a moment, he stayed crouched down, a small smile turning up the corners of his lips. My heart beat heavily with gratitude for the nth time that day, and, contradictory to everything, I was suddenly very aware of how much his presence really meant to me.
There was no doubt I'd probably be upstairs sitting silently on my bed, maybe even crying if I really let myself have it if he weren't here. But he subconsciously reminded me that what I was thinking really wasn't that big of a deal and was completely fixable and easily confirmable.
So, I padded upstairs and tried to banish my worries, with Taeyong not far behind in quiet pursuit. I wasn't going to make much of this and just wait out the ridiculous feeling until morning. Maybe I'd even ask Aera about it when, if, she came back tonight.
But we were all almost 20, so I could at least expect one thing or another. So, with her and Yuta, and maybe even Jiseon and Mark, I knew I probably shouldn't count on them coming back tonight.
When I opened the door to my room, I immediately went to sit on the bed, the sheets looking awfully inviting after the long day. But, before I did, I noticed something laying on top of the mundane blankets; a single yellow flower.
My brows knitted in confusion as I walked over to it and picked it up. The colour was a bright and happy one, almost glowing in the contradicting atmosphere. I sat down on the bed with it in my hand, wondering who in the world left it here, and why in the world they would.
A deep part of me hoped that it had been Hyeokjae, but deeper down knew it was probably just Taeyong's attempt to tell me something. Though, strangely, I wasn't as disappointed as I thought I would be at that possibility.
I must have been staring at it a little too long, because soon after, Taeyong took a seat next to me. I just looked over and held the flower up. "This is yours, isn't it?"
He shook his head. "Not now, it's not. Do you know what that flower is?"
I shook my head dumbly, making him smile. His smile seemed to always lift my spirits on the occasion that I saw it.
"It's a tulip. The yellow kind, as you can probably tell." He paused to smile again, a more dorky one than the one moments before. "It symbolises cheery thoughts, so, put off whatever's making you like this, okay? I'll do everything I can to help you fix it,"
His words almost tore me apart.
"Taeyong," I started, making his brows sinch slightly as he waited. "I am I bothering you, depending on you like this?"
He gave me a look. "Dohyeong, it's completely okay for you to depend on me, it's what I'm here for,
I considered this.
"Is that what's bothering you?" He asked slowly, making me look back up.
I shook my head, not knowing how to say what I was thinking. But, as I did, his voice ran out in my head;
'I'll always be here for you, Dohyeong. You can tell me anything,'
"Well, Fine. Yeah, it is. Do you think Aera minds I'm dumping all of this on her? I just feel bad after all she did to try to get a conversation started earlier," I asked, making him raise a brow.
"She seems ecstatic to help you, actually. Besides, she's your best friend, she just wants you to be happy," he said.
His words did at least make sense, considering all of the encouraging words, reassuring smiles and pushes she'd done to get me here. And, it would make sense that she wouldn't do it if she didn't want to, but I still felt bad about making her the puppeteer behind a sort-of relationship that should have nothing but myself running it.
"If you're still not convinced," he began to say, as if hearing my thoughts, "Try to take more control over what's happening. If you think you're depending on people too much, just try to do some things yourself,"
I took in his words, and a blank feeling of reassurance swept over me, making me feel a little lighter.
"You know, I'd probably be up here crying my eyes out if you weren't here," I admitted, slightly embarrassed as he let out a laugh.
But my heart swelled as he laughed; it was almost nicer than his smile.
"Good thing I'm here, then,"
—
The next morning, I woke up around 9 in the morning, not feeling the least bit good. I felt unenergised and weirdly uncomfortable, even though I had slept fine all night.
But I pushed it down throughout the morning, until around noon, when I spotted Aera sitting at the kitchen table.
When I slipped into the seat next to her, she just gave me a nod, not really phased until I tapped her arm.
She took an earbud out and rose a brow. "What is it?"
"Can I ask you something?"
She clicked something on her phone and put it down, her brows furrowing. "Yeah, go ahead,"
"Do you mind helping me with Hyeokjae at all? I feel like you do a lot,"I asked, slipping in my doubts harmlessly.
She just looked more confused as she shook her head. "Uh, no? Why?"
I bit back a smile. "No reason,"
And after that, I was left feeling light again. The uncomfortable and odd feeling that had been there since I'd woken up dissipating into nothing. Taeyong made sure to tell me multiple times that I was ridiculous, for assuming things on a whim.
And, I'd told him multiple times that it was okay for me to have my doubts.
Around noon, I decided that I wanted to go out and get lunch. So, I went downstairs and asked anyone I came across if they wanted to join.
"No, sorry. I'm already going somewhere with Yuta,"
"Jiseon and I were going to stay in, sorry,"
They hadn't ended up coming home last night after all, the rest of the night spent at Hyeokjae's as I had assumed. And though I could expect it because of Aera and Yuta, Jiseon and Mark seemed oddly different after that, too.
I'm guessing my earlier suspicions were correct, considering how close they looked today. And, that sort of made me a little depressed, because, if I was right, it would mean that I'm still the only one not in a relationship.
But I didn't let this stop me, because as much as it pained me to admit, I couldn't come down here without going one place. I'd been going to this one restaurant at least once every time we were here since I turned 14, and I wasn't planning on messing that up now.
I walked onto the beach with a small bag of food about an hour later, a velvety pink bag over my shoulder and a billowy scarf around my neck. I'd left almost as soon as I confirmed no one else wanted to come with me, going to the restaurant and picking up a few things with the intent to eat on the beach. Now, I tucked my shoes in my bag and sat down on a blanket I'd laid out.
"It was a shame no one came with you," The angel said from beside me, making me look up as he sat down. His black suit jacket was a great contrast to the light blue blanket beneath him, making him stand out greatly.
I just smiled, shrugging. "It doesn't matter to me. It's nice to come to the beach alone,"
He just nodded, silently agreeing as he turned away.
He seemed oddly transfixed on the scene in front of him, with the pale sand and waves lapping at the shore. And, I couldn't help but stare for a moment, almost equally transfixed on him.
He didn't look any different than normal, no, he was still in his plain black suit and white oxford, his hair was still a deep red, and the halo still sat glowing atop his head.
But, with his hair moving slightly with the winds and the tranquil undertone of his eyes, he somehow looked different to me.
—
AN: yellow tulips also mean hopeless love ;)
school is getting out early today, and i'd just like to thank god-also, bitch?? can we just talk about simon says? johnny's shirt? regulate? i'm gonna cRy