Bella's P.O.V
I slam my head against the headrest of the seat and groan, not too loudly because Ella is in the back sleeping. My fists are gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles are turning white. I have so much anger and so much sadness rising inside me, I can burst. I want to cry, wail and punch the living shit out of him. How could he do this? We were best friends, I trusted him above anyone else... Why, Edward? Why?
* * * Hours Earlier * * *
Edward has been acting weird lately. I can't really can't put my finger on it. He's a little distant, hesitant, his smiles look forced. It's been days now and it worries because we were just in this blissful time of our relationship. It scares me, a lot. I've tried asking him, but every time I say his name and he looks at me, I shut my mouth and say nothing.
He's spending most of the time with Ella. He gets up to feed her from the bottle in the middle of the night, he changes her, bathes her, talks to her, tells her how much he loves her... I count with my fingers how many times have I bathed her the last five days and I count one. His kisses are tensed, like he's scared and we went from the can't keep our hands off each other to five miles apart in five days. It's silently killing me.
I walk in the living room, filled with purpose. I want to know what the hell is up his ass that makes him act so distant.
Just as I turn in the living room, I see him walking around with Ella in his arms. He doesn't pay much attention to me, maybe because he hasn't noticed me because his sole focus is one Ella. He's talking to her so softly, I can barely hear him... Barely, but I catch the main part.
"... When Mommy told me you were coming I was very happy, I thought my chest was gonna burst. You see, I have been in love with Mommy for years but I was afraid of putting myself out there in the fear of being rejected. But then Mommy said she had you in her tummy and it made me very happy. It made all my dreams come true. I love you, baby girl. I love you more than anything and I promise I will always be there for you, no matter what. I want to be your hero, I want you to be proud of me." He leans down and kisses her head. "I want to be the best father I can be for you."
His words scared me for some reason. I clear my throat, calling his attention. He looks at me surprised, but says nothing. Instead he gives me one of his forced smiles and continues walking around with Ella.
"Edward?"
He looks at me.
"What's wrong?" No answer. Nothing. "You've been... Distant. Odd. Is something wrong? Did something happen?"
Edward still says nothing. He sits down on the couch and nods to the open space beside him. I walk to him hesitantly and take a seat. He keeps his focus on our sleeping daughter in his arms and sighs.
"I... I've been debating on whether or not to tell you something that happened over a year ago..."
My heart stops. "Um... Okay? Is it something bad?"
Of course it is, Bella. If it wasn't he wouldn't be debating it.
He sighs again. "It's not terrible. It's not like I committed murder or anything."
"Then?"
He looks at me. "It's not fair."
"What isn't?"
"No, Bella. I'm saying what I did... It wasn't fair... To you."
Oh God, I think my heart stopped.
"What did you do, Edward?"
Edward looked down at our daughter and shook his head. He looked sad, very sad. "The morning after we woke up together, we both laughed it off and made a pact to never speak of it again. You left immediately, just so the girls wouldn't notice you were gone."
Okay, I remember that.
"When you left, I instantly looked on the floor in search of the evidence of last night... But I didn't find any..."
"Evidence...?"
He looks at me. "I really thought we did use protection, but after looking around the room and bedsheets... I found nothing. I knew I had to tell you... Warn you, because it was your choice whether or not you wanted a baby... But I didn't. I kept quiet. I watched you very closely in the time that followed but you never showed any signs of being pregnant so I thought it was one of those lucky times where you didn't get pregnant... I gave up on the thought, even forgot about it... Until you told me you were pregnant.
"I told Jasper... He's the only one that knows. He said I should be honest with you and I want to be-"
"You knew?" I blurt out. This shit is messing with my head. I scoot away from home, completely dumbfounded. "You... You knew there was a chance I could be pregnant? You knew we weren't safe?"
Edward nods, looking completely ashamed. "Yes..."
"And you didn't tell me?" I snapped, standing up. Anger starts rising inside me. I look at him angerly. "Edward... Do you have any idea what you did? This is my life, Edward! Don't you think I would have liked to know I had a choice if I wanted to be a mother or not! You made me this is was a malfunction! Not that we didn't even try to be safe to begin with!"
"Bella, I'm sorry-"
"Sorry, Edward? You're a year too late. Look at where we are!"
"So what?" He stood up with Ella in his arms. "You say you regret it? You're saying now that after everything we have gone through, after having Ella, if I would have told you back then you would have done something to prevent it? That's what you're telling me?"
"Don't turn this on me, you lied to me, Edward. I trusted you more than anything. I was supposed to know..." I can't. I literally can't... I need to get out of here, get some air... Something! "Give me my daughter."
Edward gave me a pained expression. "Bella..."
"I need air! Give me my daughter!"
Edward reluctantly hands Ella over to me. I grab my bag from the counter, ignoring him calling my name and walk out of the apartment. I make my way to my car with Ella, strapping her in her car seat and get in the driver's side... But I don't start the car. Where am I going to go?
* * * Present Time * * *
It was stupid, foolish act. It was stupid, stupid, stupid. No wonder it was nagging at him. When I open my eyes again, I notice the sky is darkening and I'm still in the parking lot. I wipe my tears away and search for my phone when I hear her. I look through the review mirror and see her happily babbling in her car seat, playing with her blanket and slobbering all over the place. My heart swells.
I get out of the car and walk over to her side. With the car door open, I lean in and with the dry part of her blanket, I clean her little slobber. She looks at me with her father's eyes, smiling and throwing her little arms away.
Knowing what you know now, would you have done it? Prevented this pregnancy?
Yes, if Edward would have told me back then that we were not only foolish, but stupid enough to not use protection, I would have taken a Plan B or anything to prevent a pregnancy. But looking down at her, looking back at the last year of my life... Ella reaches over for my necklace, the necklace Edward gave me on Christmas that holds three of our birthstones. A symbol of our family.
Now... Now I wouldn't want to go back in time to prevent because - up until now - I've been the happiest I've ever been. I never. I never thought I could be so happy with Edward, with our daughter. Knowing what I know now, I'm glad Edward never told me because I have her. I have the two of them.
A sob escapes me as I look down at my baby daughter. "Your parents are the stupidest people known on Earth. I really wish you luck in the future."
I take Ella's car seat out of the car and carry her back to the apartment. Edward is still where I left him before I stormed out of the apartment. He looks up, eyes bloodshot red, as I walk in and stands up. I leave Ella's car seat on the couch and step back as he walks to her and takes her out of the car seat. He rains her with kisses and cuddles her against his chest. He then looks at me and says, "I know you're mad at me, but please, don't take her from me."
"I would never," I whisper. I swallow hard, tears fighting their way out. "I wasn't... I wasn't entirely sure why would you do something like that... But as much as I try to be angry about it, I can't. I can't be angry at you because you gave me the greatest gift anyone could have. You gave me a real family and love... I was upset at first, yes, but then I look at her and realize I wouldn't want it any other way."
Edward sighs, relieved and takes my face in his free hand. I let out a small sob and wrap my arms around his waist and snuggle my face against Ella's small body.
"Next time give me a heads up before I find out I'm pregnant."
Edward chuckles. "I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon."
I pull away. "You don't."
Edward tilts his head to the side. "Ella is almost three months old and we've barely begun going out, you really want another baby?"
Oh, yeah. "Not really. I agree it's too soon to talk about another baby. Give me five years?"
Edward pulls away and shakes my hand. "I think we have a deal."
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~Joan0324