when johnny woke the next morning, it wasn't actually morning anymore - it was going on for 2pm - though that wasn't exactly unusual.
he also had those pillow lines pressed into his cheek as a sign of a deep sleep, and was momentarily confused as to why he was sleeping on the couch and not in his own bed.
of course, that was all made clear to him when he stumbled into the kitchen and found a startled moon taeil clutching onto a huge nutella pot, a spoonful of it having just disappeared into his mouth.
"i was really hungry and i didn't want to wake you up!" taeil squeaked, before licking the last of the nutella from the spoon.
caught off guard by the situation in his kitchen, johnny's mouth hung open and his eyes were drawn to taeil's wet hair that was still insisting on dripping down into his ears.
"i took a shower," taeil hurriedly blurted out, trying his best to explain, "l-like you said i could..."
johnny pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, and rested his hands on his hips. he looked the shorter boy up and down, taking in the massive grey t-shirt he had on (the shoulders of which were soaked with the dripping shower water from taeil's hair) and his bare feet on the cold tiles.
taeil shivered and sniffed. "sorry i borrowed your clothes," he said under his breath.
johnny finally let that bubble of laughter escape and stopped pretending to be mad. he prised the nutella tub from taeil's strong grip and put the lid back on, shoving it back on its shelf in the fridge.
"you're gonna need another shower at this rate," he scoffed, eyeing up the chocolate spread smeared around taeil's mouth, which had also found its way to different parts of his face that shouldn't be possible to reach when eating nutella.
taeil shifted from foot to foot, feeling both hesitant and clueless. he didn't usually stay over in other people's apartments, and he wasn't sure what he was and wasn't supposed to do.
"come here, mucky," johnny instructed, wrinkling his nose at the state taeil had gotten himself into in his 2pm hunger.
taeil reluctantly did as he was told, and stood still whilst johnny wiped the chocolate off his face. "can we have breakfast now?" he asked.
johnny glanced up at the time and let out a hoot. "forget breakfast, we'd better have lunch before it's too late for that," he said. "i'll cook."
taeil raised an eyebrow. "oh yeah? what dishes can you cook?"
johnny's confidence faltered for a second before resurging with that mocking grin of his. "toast," he answered. "tell you what, i'll make us some toast while you go and put some clothes on."
taeil turned on his heel and rolled his eyes. "you say that like i'm naked," he drawled.
"well, i mean-"
"don't even start imagining that!"
johnny laughed and got started on the toast, somehow in an unnaturally good mood for waking up late. he laughed even harder when taeil returned wearing his clothes, which were half a dozen sizes too big and made him look like a deflated marshmallow.
"that's not what i meant!" johnny managed between erruptions of laughter, "try on your new clothes, you dimwit."
"oh," said taeil, looking a little put-out, "well maybe you should've been more specific then."
johnny finally managed to control himself and gestured into the living room. "all your stuff is in there," he said, "go try on ten's outfit or something, seeing as we both have no idea what he picked out."
"fine," taeil grumbled, and marched back out of the kitchen to get dressed again.
as johnny spread butter over the hot pile of toast, he couldn't help but let his imagination run wild at what ten's outfit would consist of. he knew it involved fishnets though, and that was enough to blow his mind without even seeing the outfit on taeil's body for real.
"uh... i'm pretty sure like ninety percent of this is from the women's section..."
taeil tiptoed hesitantly into the kitchen, feeling increasingly self-conscious the more johnny stared. ten's choice of clothing was nothing he would pick out for himself (not that he ever went shopping anyway) and he would never have imagined himself wearing it in a million years.
johnny nearly dropped the butter knife. his eyes went wide and his mouth fell open. "you... you look..."
"hopefully not god-awful?" taeil winced.
"...like such a twink!"
now, taeil wasn't entirely sure what that word meant. from the laugh of disbelief that escaped johnny's lips, looking like a twink seemed like a bad thing. but the look in his eyes told a different story.
ten's outfit consisted of many questionable items of clothing that seemed to want to cover as little of his body as possible. first were the jeans - skinny and high-waisted, yet with holes in them so big taeil could spread an entire palm over an exposed part of his upper thigh. (he might have had tiny hands, but the point still stood.)
then there were the fishnet tights under the jeans, which taeil only figured out how to wear by seeing ten wear them himself last night. and then, there was the top. not that you could really call it a top when it left half his midriff on view for the world to see. taeil believed the kids these days called it a crop top, and it was a baby pink cropped tank at that.
overall, taeil just felt very cold.
"ten really went all out, huh," johnny marvelled. it was like no matter how hard he looked at taeil, he couldn't quite take it in. he was channelling a different kind of energy to the usual grandma sweater energy he usually gave off.
babyboy energy.
johnny almost choked as the words stitched themselves into his brain and he started mentally adding things to the image in front of him: a pair of baby pink socks with frills around the ankles... a lace choker...
this wasn't fashion evaluating anymore. it was like johnny's hallway was the runway, and taeil was the model.
"does it look bad?" taeil piped up nervously, biting down on his lower lip.
"no!" johnny blurted. he composed himself and cleared his throat. "i mean, no, you look good... hot... yeah. do you not like it?"
taeil shifted from foot to foot, toes wriggling awkwardly at the ends of the fishnet tights. "it's nothing like what i usually wear," he mused, "but i don't hate it. i feel kind of..."
"badass?" johnny guessed.
taeil shrugged and looked down at his outfit again. "well, yeah, but in more of a..."
"...twinkish way?"
"shut up, i should probably get changed," taeil mumbled, hanging his head and turning to leave.
"hey, hey, come back here..." johnny caught taeil by the wrist and brought him back into the kitchen, where the warm aroma of buttery toast was rising. "look, you look insane in that outfit," he continued, "but for everyone else to notice, you've gotta know you look hot."
"what the fuck is your logic here?" taeil squinted at him, still tired from all the shopping and walking they did yesterday.
"think about it," johnny reasoned, "i know i'm hot, therefore everyone else knows i'm hot too! if i didn't think i was hot, i wouldn't be able to convince people that i am. make sense?"
"no-"
"so what you've gotta do," johnny pressed on, "is remember that confidence and power you had when you stood up on the bench at college and told all the shitheads to fucking pipe down about the video. remember that?"
taeil shuddered at the memory. "yeah, but-"
"and you've got to channel that energy into your-"
babyboy energy, johnny's brain interrupted himself.
"-into your outfit," johnny said, getting back onto his train of thought, "and walk around like you're sex on legs."
he didn't know where the last part came from. his thoughts were all jumbled together at the shock of seeing taeil come out in that outfit.
"sex on legs?" taeil rolled his eyes. he picked up a slice of toast and sank his teeth into it, munching to the sound of johnny's silence.
it was a very long pause.
"um, uh, yeah," johnny mumbled. "anyway, onto other important things like... jaehyun's halloween party! you're invited."
"i am?!"
johnny's grin returned and his eyes became mischievous again. "yeah, and you're inviting lee taeyong as your date."
taeil spat out a soggy lump of toast onto the tiles. "my what?!"
"your date," johnny said again, "you know, like a plus-one you take to events and stuff-"
"i know what a date is, johnny," taeil snapped. "what i mean is, there is no way in hell i'm asking him."
johnny gaped down at him. "what? why?"
"what do you mean - why? um, because i'll get a big fat rejection and i'll never be able to face society again so i'll have to go on the run and live the rest of my life in an underground bunker surviving on only baked beans and nothing else-"
"for god's sake, shut that pretty mouth of yours and listen," johnny sighed.
before taeil could say another word, johnny had lifted him up to sit on the kitchen counter so they were at a better matched eye-level. taeil stuffed the rest of his slice of toast in his mouth and waited for johnny to talk.
"right, you're gonna listen to every word i have to say 'cause i'm only gonna say this once," johnny told him, resting both palms on the counter and leaning in towards taeil, "and don't interrupt me until i'm finished. got it?"
taeil folded his arms but nodded.
"okay," johnny said, taking a breath. "you. are. hot."
"is that it?"
"i said not to interrupt!" johnny objected. "anyway, you might not believe you're hot, but suprisingly you are. you're gonna ask lee taeyong if he wants to go with you to the party, and he is going to say yes because he thinks you're a cool person. and then after you makeout or something at the party you'll start your wonderful relationship together and do all the couple-y things couples do and-"
"wait," taeil interrupted, a slow blush creeping onto his cheeks.
"i said not to-"
"what kind of couple-y things do you mean exactly...?"
johnny frowned, slightly taken aback by the question. "well, i mean... like go shopping together, and eat breakfast together, and hold hands just so everyone knows you're an item..."
taeil coughed and inhaled deeply. "yeah, uh, slight problem there. we'll never do any of those couple-y things because you know that part where i m-makeout with t-taeyong at the party? it's never gonna happen."
johnny blinked. "oh. are you ace or something? you should've told me sooner-"
"i'm not," taeil cut him off, starting to look and feel very embarrassed. "it's just i've never... neverkissedsomeonehaha."
"really?" johnny exclaimed, managing to catch the last part of taeil's sentence. "i mean, i suspected you're a virgin, but i thought you'd at least have had that gross middle school kiss at one of those sweaty school dances or something."
"yeah, no, that never- wait, you thought i was a virgin?"
"...yeah?" johnny looked at taeil in confusion. "it'll be really awkward if i just said that and i'm wrong now."
taeil was silent.
"okay, i'll take that as me being right," johnny muttered. "look, you don't have to worry about any of the couple-y stuff. what kind of coolness senpai would i be if i didn't prepare you for everything?"
taeil tilted his head to one side, not quite sure of what johnny meant. "did you just call yourself senpai?" was all he could muster instead of asking a more important question.
"yes i did. now, pretend i'm taeyong," johnny instructed.
"but you don't look anything like taeyong."
johnny let out a heavy sigh and tapped at his temple to emphasise his point. "that's why it's called pretending, smartass. now, imagine we're at jaehyun's halloween party. you're in the kitchen, and taeyong is coming in to get a drink. action!"
"um... hi," taeil said, trying not to catch the giggles as johnny left and re-entered, strutting back into the kitchen.
"um, hi. are you seriously starting a conversation with um hi!?" johnny stopped halfway into the kitchen and buried his face in his hands.
"it's not my fault!" taeil protested, swinging his legs from the countertop, "taeyong doesn't walk like that, you're doing it wrong."
"you have to use your imagination, sweetheart," johnny argued in a snarky tone. he was starting to get annoyed that taeil wouldn't just play along.
he was trying to help him, after all.
"i don't think this is going to work-" taeil confessed, starting to hop down from the counter, fishnet-clad feet landing on the cold floor.
"look, how do you expect to kiss him properly if you can't even start a conversation?" johnny snapped.
"we're having a conversation right now," taeil pointed out. it was irritating that he had to look up to meet johnny's eyes again now.
"yeah, and i'm sure this conversation will be really helpful when you're drunk and trying to makeout with lee taeyong."
"who says i'm getting drunk?"
johnny took a few steps closer to the short boy, trying to regain his fragmented temper. "it's okay to be nervous, moony," he said matter-of-factly, "i'm just trying to make sure that your first kiss with taeyong isn't a complete disaster."
taeil slowly felt himself being backed against the wall. he wasn't sure whether to feel angry or overwhelmed at johnny's words. "so, what - you're suggesting that i kiss you first?" he asked incredulously.
"well... yes," johnny answered, looking rather bemused, "did you only just get that?"
taeil felt his back hit the wall and he suddenly felt very small and helpless. what confused him even more was that he didn't entirely hate that feeling. he shook if off and objected, "i'm not having my first kiss with you!"
"that's kinda rude," johnny told him, affronted, "this mouth has a lot of experience, so you couldn't find a better person to practise on."
"it's still my first kiss," taeil argued.
"no it's not," johnny reasoned, pressing his palms into the wall either side of taeil's head, "it's a practise first kiss. that's different. you don't even have to imagine you're kissing me-"
"i won't have to, since i will be kissing you," taeil muttered shortly.
"you can just imagine i'm taeyong, okay? and if it goes bad, then your real first kiss will be guaranteed to be better than that." johnny paused and analysed the conflicted expression on taeil's face. "but, i mean... if you'd rather let your first kiss with taeyong be a sloppy gross mess then..."
"wait-" taeil struggled, torn between which option was the lesser of two evils.
kiss johnny? or risk grossing taeyong out forever?
"no, no, it's fine, i get it..." johnny removed his hands from the wall and stood up straight, raising them in defence, "i won't make you do anything you don't want to do..."
in a moment of frustration, taeil made the impossible decision. he grabbed a fistful of johnny's shirt and pulled him down to his level. and that's when moon taeil, without an inch of prior experience, crashed his lips against johnny seo's, and the entire universe imploded.
____________________
a/n:
finally