My phone buzzes loudly on my nightstand as someone calls me to wake me up. Only two people come to mind as to who would call me, and honestly, I feel like it would actually be for the best for me to talk to them, even if only one of them knows what's going on.
Picking up my phone, I look at the screen through squinted eyes and see Brock's name. I answer the call and roll onto my back before I put the phone to my ear. "Hello?"
"Did you just wake up?"
"It's been a long night."
"I know, and that's what worries me. I don't want you to try to lock yourself away. You need to get out of your apartment for a little bit."
"I was going to see Jon later tonight. He has class today."
"I still don't want you to mope around in your room."
"Brock-"
"I already spoke to Ze. He said he needed to do something, and he offered to take you with him."
I groan and roll over, pushing myself up, so that I could sit on the edge of my bed. "I'm not a kid, you know. I don't need you to make play dates for me and my friends."
"I know, but I don't want you to sit around, thinking about what had happened to you last night. As hard as it is, you need to push that to the back of your mind. That's something I've noticed you have a huge problem with. So, go out and do something. Anything to take your mind off of what James did."
I sigh and stay silent for a bit, trying to get as much of my mind and my energy together. Then, I stand up and ask, "When was Ze leaving?"
I hear some light mutters in the background, and after a few seconds, Brock comes back and says, "He says he'll be over in an hour."
"Alright... Thank you." I then hang up and drop my phone back on my nightstand before I walk over to my bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I walk.
Turning on the water, I turn away from the shower to give it some time to warm up, and I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are still bloodshot from crying most of the night. I feel like I look paler than normal, which makes me wonder if I'm still in shock from what happened.
All he did was grab my face... Am I overreacting? I mean, he didn't pin me down, point his gun at me, or force me to do anything. He just... Grabbed my face...
Letting out a heavy sigh, I shake my head. "I'm so fucking stupid. Just because he could have done anything, doesn't mean he was going to do anything or that he would. I freaked myself out. I scared myself, and overreacted to him flirting with me."
I turn back to the shower and step in, feeling the hot water pour onto me. And I just stand under that water for a good minute before I start actually cleaning myself.
Once I was done, I turned off the water, dried myself off, and walked back to my bedroom, picking out clothes to wear for the day and just throwing it on. Then, I walked into my living room and just laid on the couch, staring up to the ceiling.
I was overreacting... I am overreacting. Overthinking everything. Freaking myself out. I have no proof that James would have done anything, and he had the chance to do whatever he wanted... I'm just overreacting to nothing.
"Don't think that."
I gasp and sit up a little too fast, making me light headed. However, when I lay back down, I instantly start looking around my apartment.
I know that voice.
"Never think like that. You were only trying to keep yourself safe, which you did. No matter what, no one, man or woman, can put their hands on you without your permission. So don't think you were overreacting. You did nothing wrong."
No way... Mom?
Wanting to make sure I didn't pass out, I pinch my arm to see if it hurt, which it does. Meaning I'm not dreaming.
"Am I drunk or high or what the fuck," I whisper into the empty room.
Seconds after the words leave my lips, I hear a sudden knock at the door, scaring me and causing me to fall off of the couch. With a little groan, I pick myself up and walk into my bedroom, grabbing my wallet, keys, and phone before I walk over to the door.
After shoving my phone and wallet into my pockets, I open the door, seeing Ze standing in front of me with a little smile on his face. "Hey, buddy; how you feeling?"
"I've been better," I say, a little smile forming on my face.
After locking my door, I follow Ze to his car in the parking lot, jump in, and look out the window while he starts the drive. He and I stay silent for a bit; however, he eventually breaks it.
"So, what happened last night?"
"What did Brock tell you?"
"Okay, uh, he told me that you got pulled over last night and the officer that did it knew who you were and scared you in a way. He didn't go into detail about it though."
I sigh and keep my eyes on the window. "Well, there's a cop that goes to the club a lot. He's normally one of my regulars. And when he gets drunk, he normally took things too far and he would try to grab me. Normally I would smack his hands away, cut him off, and move on. Nothing serious.
Well, last night, I wasn't really paying attention and I was speeding. He pulled me over, gave me a warning, and then... Then he got weird, and he made me really uncontrollable."
"What do you mean? What happened?"
I take a deep breath before saying, "He reached into my car and put his hand under my chin and ran his finger on my cheek. And, he kept calling me a good boy, and offered to make sure I got home safely."
"He what?!"
"I don't know. I mean, he didn't do anything else to me. Maybe I was just overreacting."
"No, Evan, you weren't."
I look over to Ze and quickly notice his face is scrunched up in anger, and his hands are turning white with how tightly he's gripping the steering wheel. "Did you say he could touch you like that?"
"No."
"Then he shouldn't have touched you. Face, shoulder, whatever. At the club, that's one thing. But if he was on the job and he pulled you over, he would have no reason to touch you unless he needed to search you or arrest you. End of story.
As for offering to make sure you got home safely, I'm calling bullshit. Not after he touched you like that."
I blink and stare at him in shock.
"What was the name of the bastard?"
"Uh, Officer James Nova."
"James Nova... I'm going to talk to Mike about this bastard tonight."
"Steven, you don't need to. I'm fin-"
"Evan," he stops me, looking over to me through the corner of his eye. The look in his eye is different but familiar. It's the same look he had in his eyes when I had my panic attack at the club. "What he did was wrong, stupid, and an abuse of his power. He knew you would be afraid of him because of his job, and he was hoping you would be dumb enough to let your guard down. Whatever he had planned for you was not good."
I stare at Ze in shock for a good minute, not saying a word. Not even knowing what to say. Finally, after a bit, I ask, "What's going to happen to him?"
"I don't know. Hopefully, he'll be fired, but I can't promise anything. It's going to be a case of, wait and see."
Slowly, I pull myself away from the trance Ze's gaze had caught me in and I turn back to the window I had been looking out of. After a few seconds of silence, I finally ask something I'm surprised I didn't ask sooner.
"Hey, where are we going?"
I hear Ze chuckle a bit before he says, "Well, Christmas is coming up soon, and before I started with the club, I ordered a little something for Mike. I just got a call today saying that it came in."
"What did you get him? A gun?"
He laughs, "What? You think just because he's a cop, he is obsessed with guns? Nah, he's a big fucking nerd. He loves Fallout more than he loves me, so I got him a little Bluetooth Pip-Boy."
I laugh and look down to my lap. "You know, I haven't celebrated Christmas in years."
"Really?"
I nod. "When I was ten, my dad lost his job, and we had to give up Christmas in order to pay off the house. After that, we never celebrated it again. When I came to the club, no one really celebrated it. Instead, everyone that stays will meet up at the club and have dinner."
"Sounds kind of boring, no offense."
I continue to look down at my lap for a few more minutes before I turn and look up to Ze. "Jon said he wanted to do something for Christmas with me. But, honestly-"
"You have no idea what you're doing," he finishes and laughs. "Well, I would love to help you, but honestly, I can only tell you two things that should help you when shopping. Number one, make it personal. Christmas shopping is not just finding the most trendy thing on the market and giving it to whoever. I mean, unless that's what they're into.
Anyways, take what I am doing now as an example. Since I know Mike is a Fallout fanboy, when I heard about this Fallout thing, I ordered it for him, because I know he will love it.
So when you go shopping for Jon, focus on what you know he likes, and look for something that you think he will like. Or, you can go for a more personal thing. Last year, Mike bought us promise rings, saying he wasn't ready to marry me, but that he knew he would one day."
"Awe," I say, accidentally out loud, causing Ze's face to turn red.
"A-anyways. The next thing to keep in mind is how much you spend on it. You don't want to drop a shit ton on what you buy him, but you do want to spend some money on it."
"Alright..."
"You still don't know what to do, do you?"
"No!" I cover my face with my hands and groan loudly.
He laughs at me again before I feel the car stop. Pulling my hands away, I look out the window and see that we're now in a parking lot. "Well, while we're here, we'll look around and see what we can find. I'm sure there's something here that he'll like."
I nod and jump out of the car with him before we start walking towards the mall. As we continued to talk, I really start to feel more relaxed and start pushing everything to the back of my mind. Before we even walk into the mall, I actually feel like I'm myself again. Even for just a second.
After walking around for a bit, we get to the store that Ze placed his order with. When we see the large crowd in the store, however, we agree to split up. He then goes into the store, pushing and shoving, and I swear at one point punching, while I walk two feet to the left and sit down on a bench.
Letting out a soft sigh, I start looking around at the shops around me, trying to get some sort of idea of what I can get for Jon. Something personal?... What could I get him? What do I know about him?
I'm suddenly ripped out of my thoughts however when I hear a loud gasp from behind me, scaring the shit out of me, and causing me to jump off of the bench. Spinning around, I look to see what had happened, however, I'm more shocked to see someone that was looking the opposite way of me.
"Luke?"
Jon's friend spins around and I see his eyes widen for a moment when he sees me. "Evan? What are you doing here?"
"I'm shopping with a friend; what are you doing here?"
"Uh, I was meeting a friend. They're just, uh, running late." He walks around the bench and stops right in front of me. "It's weird seeing you without Jon putting his hands all over you."
I shrug and cross my arms. "When he has class, it's not really a choice."
He laughs, "You got a point there. Well, who are you with?"
"A co-worker and friend of mine named Steven, or Ze." I then point towards the crowded store with my thumb before I say, "He's fighting his way in there. He ordered something for his boyfriend and it came in today."
"Well now if that isn't love, I don't know what is."
I laugh and look down, thinking for a second before an idea hits me. "Hey, do you mind helping me out a little bit. While I'm here, I was looking for something I could get for Jon, but I'm not too sure what I should get. You're his best friend, so, you would know what he would like, right?"
"Yes I would, but, you've been saying no to what he would really like," he tells me with a wink.
I instantly feel my face heat up as I throw my head back. "You telling me that I'm dating a boring son of a bitch, who's only hobby is having sex?"
Luke laughs at my comments before he says, "Nah. He also likes video games, horror movies, and teddy bears."
"Teddy bears?"
"Yeah, I don't know either. He just really likes them." We suddenly hear his phone start to ring in his pocket, which he pulls out right away and holds it to his ear. "Hey, are you here yet?... Alright, I'll be there in a few."
He then hangs up his phone and turns back to me. "My friend just got here, so I need to go. But, good luck with your shopping. Hope you find something."
I then wave and watch as he starts walking towards one of the many entrances to the mall, leaving me where he found me. Keeping what he told me in mind, I pull out my phone and sit back down on the bench, scrolling through several different sites, taking a look at the weird things that people are selling. However, on one page I stop and stare at the images in front of me.
I suddenly know what I can get him for Christmas!
"Hey, watch it!" My head snaps up in time to see Ze holding a bag close to his chest as he tries to pull his lower body out from the crowd. After I quickly put my phone in my pocket and run over to help Ze, so we can go to where I need to go.
**
Taking a deep breath, I knock a couple of times on the door and take a step back. My heart beats heavily in my chest as I start to think about what I can actually say. However, before I can actually decide, the door opens, and in front of me is a very tired looking Brock.
"Evan? I thought you were going to spend the day with Jonathan?"
"I am; he actually gets out of class in a few minutes, so I'm going to start heading over right after he gets out... Why did you push for me to hang out with Ze today?"
"Because you needed someone to spend some time with, and I didn't want you to sit around doing nothing but feeling like shit all day."
"But why didn't you want to spend time with me? Even back when Ohm left and Bryce died, you didn't offer to come over. You pushed for me to hang out with Smitty. Why? Why do you do that?"
He leans against the doorframe and starts rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I know that you don't really like me all that much, and I know that we aren't really that close. You trust me enough to call me when you need the help, and I will never take advantage of that. However, I know I'm not really your friend. And, I'm okay with that. All I care about however is making sure that you get out of here."
"Get out of here? But didn't you-"
He quickly looks away from me before letting out a disappointed sigh. "Didn't you say you wanted out? If you want to leave, I'm not going to stop you. I just think it's a waste now, and I'll just hope I don't see you struggling again." He then looks back at me and says, "Also doesn't change the fact that I don't want to see you in pain or any trouble. It's bad enough that you could be stuck here, the last thing I want is for you to feel, well, like you're being swallowed alive. Because once you feel like that... I don't want to think about that."
He and I stay silent for a bit after he said that. Honestly, I truly don't know what to say back to this. However, what I do know, is that I need to hug him. So that's what I do. I walk right up to him and I hug him, tightly. When I feel him start to hug me back, I then whisper out, "Thank you. Thank you for everything... Thank you for being there for me... I'm sorry I was such an ass before."
"Evan, you-"
"Don't say I wasn't, because I was." I then pull away and look up to him. "You have always been nice to me and have been trying to help me out so much without dragging me back to my parents. And in return, I might as well have slammed the door in your face... I'm really sorry for how I acted before. And thank you, for not giving up on me."
He smiles down at me before he gives me a little kiss on the forehead before pulling me in for another tight hug. After a little bit, we let go of each other and I end up having to leave. Jon was calling to let me know he was out of class, and right now, I need my boyfriend more than ever.
Well, maybe not that much. But I definitely wouldn't mind having him around right now for a little more support.