Serilda
"Father," the words slipped from my mouth in shock as he stepped in the place that was occupied by Erik. We started to dance and I was thankful for my feet that kept on moving because my mind was reeling from the shock.
"I never thought that I would be ever alive to see this day," the words just kept on slipping. "I haven't even had a chance to have a father-daughter dance with you." I didn't know how to feel happy or shocked or be resentful. He had never been present, never given me attention for a second of the day and here he was dancing with me.
"I'm sorry for that," he apologized and it had been the first time for so long that I had to hear his voice since that fateful day I was forced to marry. He apologized and I wanted to pinch myself just to make sure this was happening or else it was my mind trying to indulge in a dream that never could have fulfilled.
"I ..I," he hesitated. "I just wanted to talk to you about the wedding,"
"What about it?"
"I don't want you to ruin it. This is important for Serena and she is important for me," he said in a strict tone and within second the whole shock and happiness that I had started to feel worn out. All I could feel now was anger. All he ever cared was about her. Everyone cared about her and I had no realization why. How come she was so goddamn important and I wasn't? What gave her the right to be this important? Was it because she was the first born or was it because I was unlovable? Why? Why? I wanted to cry out and ask but I controlled myself. It just made me realize again and again why I was right in doing everything I wanted to.
"And what about me? Was I ever important to you?" I asked haughtily.
"You are," he said with hesitance and my tears welled up with tears because I knew it was a lie.
"So nice of you to lie," I replied trying to blink away the angry tears away. "I know I'm not and never will be because let's get real. You won't even know how old I'm or even when my birthday was. All my life you have been absent in my life and my mother has only been there just to mold me into this perfect daughter that this society demands. Neither of you has cared about me for even an ounce. I would have been dead and you wouldn't have cared in the world about me. You would have just shown up with crocodile tears to make the world believe that you loved me. You are good for nothing father to me,"
"Stop this," he angrily said.
"Why should I?" I laughed out. "Give me one good reason that why I shouldn't ruin this wedding? You can't because you don't have any but you, mom, her and Erik have given me so many reasons to ruin this wedding, to make sure that this wedding would be the most enjoyable and rememberable event that this society has seen. It would be so exciting father and everyone will enjoy it so much that when this wedding will be over you won't be left with anything. However, if you give me one valid reason I would think about not ruining this. Can you give one, dearest father?" I asked angrily and was rewarded with silence with anger and fearful eyes.
"She is my daughter, and your sister," he said haughtily.
"I wish you would have remembered that I was too. I wish she would have remembered that. Even my mother hadn't remembered that. I was just a thing for you all to save your face when she had run away. I will leave you with nothing but a shame that you will have to hide your face from this pretty society that is so precious to you," I warned him with my voice a bit too loud to have gain attention to others but low enough that only he understood what I was saying.
"You ungrateful child!" he whisper-yelled angrily. "You are the one who made her---," he was interrupted.
"May I cut in?" interrupted Nathaniel with a smile on his face. My father composed his anger and smiled at him.
"I think I should have a chance to come to know my sister in law too," Nathaniel added.
"Sure," he replied smiling. "Don't ruin this," he angrily warned to me in my ear before turning away and walking to my mother who now stood in the crowd with her eyes set on me. I didn't pay any heed to his warning. He could go and burn to hell for I cared.
"You look angry," Nathaniel gained all my attention as his hand snaked around my waist and he entered in my personal space. Through the corner of my eyes, I saw Serena dancing with Erik and anger burned through my veins. It felt like she was getting the best of both the worlds. The worst part was my parents never stopped anything. There were pathetic people who had no right to be called parents.
"Anyone would have been if she had parents like I have," I replied with my eyes not meeting his because I didn't want him to see the tears in my eyes. I didn't want him to see me as weak.
"I can understand," he said making me look up to his eyes and I was lost. My body moved in sync with his in such a way that I think my body was meant for his.
"Can you really?" I heard myself ask.
"I can. I saw the heated conversation between you and your father. I could see how much hurt you were. It's hard to explain built I felt your pain, the sadness that lay deep inside of you. There was no way that I could keep my eyes off you. Why is that, Serilda?" he asked.
"I'm asking the same question," I replied and wrapped my hands around his neck and he didn't stop me and moved his hands to my waist. We both moved as we were the only one and only we existed.
"I'm doubting things, Serilda, and it's not a good thing," he whispered in a low voice that made my insides shiver.
"Why isn't it? When we doubt things, it tells us that there are better things or people available," we stared into each other's eyes and he smiled.
"I wish things were different. If only I hadn't made the mistake," his words filled me with concern opening up my mind with endless questions.
"What mis-," before I could say more I felt a hand on my arm. Snapped out of the lost world I looked around only to find that everyone had stopped dancing and were looking at us. Chyna stood by my side holding my arm with fury in her eyes directed towards his brother. Serena and Erik stood side by side with his hand in hers. There were tears in her eyes and furies in Erik's. There were questioning eyes looking at us and it was only then I realized how close we were, something as if we were lovers. My eyes turned to Nathaniel's and they grew from worried to shameful to emotionless. He turned around and walked away from there with his eyes down. I stood there alone with angry and questioning eyes my way as he left me alone.
Chyna tugged on my arm and took me away from everyone. She led me out of the hall to the lobby and didn't stop until we reached the beach. Pushing me in front of her we stood face to face.
"You need to leave," she angrily said.
"It's not what you think," I tried to explain.
"What is not as I think?" she yelled. "I saw you both kissing, Serilda!" her words had my eyes widened. Unable to meet her eyes I wrapped my hands around me feeling vulnerable. What had happened wasn't supposed to happen. I was trapping my own self in my plan. The game I was playing had become dangerous for me and my heart.
"You have nothing to say?" she angrily asked.
"It's between him and me," I answered. I was flabbergasted, didn't know what to say and speak.
"And I'm his sister so this makes me a part of it too," she replied. "You have got no right to play with my brother like this, Serilda. He doesn't deserve this and that too just because you are jealous of your sister,"
"I'm not jealous of her," I blurted out.
"Oh really," she said sarcastically. "You want to tell me that everything they say about you is shit. Oh, come on I'm not so naïve. Just because I talked with you nicely doesn't mean I'm nice enough to let you break my brother's heart and jeopardize his wedding," she stated clearly. "And I need no proof from you to explain that you aren't envious. You stole away your sister's boyfriend and married him. Everyone knows this and the worst fact was that you weren't damn ashamed of it. It is damn disgusting to think that you even had gone to the limits of hurting your sister by threatening her to run away on her wedding day just so you could marry him. I think you just can't see her be happy right. All you want is to steal away her happiness, her love her life but let me tell you I won't let this happen because this involves my brother and I'm so not letting him get hurt and I won't mind stooping to any level for that," she warned.
"I don't want to hurt, Nathaniel and I'm so not envious of my sister but I do resent here. I do hate her with my everything and if you had been in my place you would have too," my words didn't seem to have affected her at all.
"I'm quite sure that I wouldn't have done anything you would have because I wouldn't have dared to try to steal my sister's fiancé away. However, if I would have done that I still wouldn't have kiss my sister's new fiancée and danced with him like I was his goddamn lover like you did just now with my brother. Three years have passed and you are still not at rest? How could you even do this when you have already got what you wanted victory over your sister and a loving husband" she questioned me with her both hands tightly crushing around my arm.
"A loving husband and victory over my sister," I laughed out. "Really? Did I even get any of that? No, I couldn't because it was never what I had wanted from the beginning," I screamed out. "I don't know who it was to fill your ears against me but let me tell you that they all are goddamn lies that Serena has been spreading out for years,"
"You can stop lying. Serena left you alone after you broke her heart. You can stop pretending to be a victim because it ain't you but Serena is," she said with fury and turned away from me to walk back.
"If she was the victim then why did she fuck my husband on our honeymoon," my words put her steps to a halt.
"You and the world say that I threatened her then why I didn't I do so when she had an affair with Erik for more than a year?" She turned and looked at me with widened eyes. "Why the hell did she call Erik when I lied to you that day that Erik and I were going to renew our vows? If I was that dangerous then why didn't I hurt her when Erik raped me drunk thinking I was her and If I'm that vindictive then why didn't I kill her after I miscarried my child while she was away with my husband in his arms!" I screamed out my question willing her to give me an answer.
"Serena wouldn't have done that. She isn't like that. You're lying," she accused me.
"If I'm lying go and ask her where did she run away to when I threatened her and why was she on the same Island in the same hotel on the same floor where Erik and I were. She is a goddamn liar who has made me suffer for no reason. I was never in love with Erik because I never could be when I had fallen in love with his brother Aaron!" I yelled for her to hear loud and clear. She took a step back for every step I took towards her.
"I loved Aaron but I lost him because my parents forced me to marry Erik to save their face because my sister had run away. I'm the one who is the victim not her," I shouted angrily.
"When you are trying to get your answers from her, ask her why did she lie to everyone that I forced her to do so. Why didn't she leave Erik alone and kept on coming back for her? I will tell you. She lied to him, our parents and too many others that I was mad, sick and threatened her that if she didn't run away I would kill myself that too with a knife against my wrist. She lied to everyone and I was the one who had to face the world with humiliation. I was made to leave my life behind with my love all because of her. You know I had this small hope that maybe it ended there but no she kept on having an affair with my husband for a goddamn long year while I suffered others hatred and died every day inside," tears rolled down my eyes as I spoke angrily with my chest moving rapidly. Chyna stood there stunned with tears in her eyes.
"For three years I have suffered through hell. I have been made fun in this society. Erik actively fucks around and have affairs and I'm left alone to face the criticism. Everyone goddamn hates me beside one person and even he turned away from me because I wasn't ready to do what he wanted. He held me at my worst when I had no one. Erik even didn't even know what he did to me, never attended my call or even cared for me. For him, I could have been dead and he would have partied over my dead body to that extent I was hated all because of Serena. She pushed me into hell and live in heaven. My parents didn't care for me. I had no one until your brother came into my life or I came into his. He was the only person who understood me beside him, who saw behind the façade, who really saw me and my pain and believed in me. With each second, I spent with your brother I came closer to him and began us," I didn't lie to her about anything. I told her everything. I told her the truth.
"Do you still think I'm lying?" I asked her getting in her personal space. "Look in my eyes, look at my tears and say that I'm lying. Can you?"
"I don't know," she said turning her eyes away from me. "Even if I believe you that doesn't explain why are you using with my brother because I know you are,"
"I'm not using him, Chyna," I lied without even thinking. It came to me naturally. "I don't know why I can't explain but there is something between us that I can't give a name to but I have never had any intention of using him. All I wanted was to save him from Serena and her lies," Not using him was a lie but trying to save him wasn't and I wasn't ashamed of it. She didn't say anything but looked at me with confusion written all over her face.
"You still don't believe me," I wanted to laugh. I wasting my time. She would never believe me ever.
"If I do and promise to help you in achieving what you desire will you promise to stay with my brother forever, to save him, to love him and be with him until he asks you to leave," her words left me astounded in shock. I was wordless with my world turned upside down.
HELLO, another update as promised.
I would bring you another one soon enough too.
Got to work on it.
What is going in Chyna's mind?
What will Serilda do?
Will she make a friend or a foe? What would you do?
Hope you like it.
If Serilda has been unable to make one person understand how would she make everyone else believe.
See you later.