Chapter 30
Choices
Hayden's P.O.V*
I woke up next to Drake. His arm was tightly around me and my back pressed against his chest. I automatically sat up. I've just made a huge mistake. I've never cheated before. I've always been faithful. Last night I just couldn't help my attraction towards Drake.
I know I'm going to regret this. If Ashton or Fiona finds out, they'll hate us forever. I couldn't bear Ashton hating me again. The first time was hard enough, the second time would probably be worst.
"Hayden, what's wrong?" Drake asked me, breaking my thoughts. I looked at him and he had a concerned look on his face.
"We shouldn't have done what we did." I said. "I love Ashton, but I love you too. I just don't know who I should be with. I'm confused."
I got up and shivered a little when the cool air went straight through my underwear. I left Drake's room and went to my own. I closed my door and locked it, not wanting Drake to come in.
I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands. We can't let Ashton or Fiona find out about this. Fiona seems so in love with Drake, that it would be awful if she got upset with him.
"Hayden, let me in." Drake said from the other side of my door.
"Go away!" I replied.
"Hayden, don't regret what we did. Last night was amazing and you know it. We connected well and only two people in love can do that. Don't pull away from this, from me."
"What about Ashton and Fiona?"
"They'll understand. They know about our past. I love you Hayden."
I didn't say anything back. What we're doing is wrong. There are people who love us and I don't like hurting them.
I heard Brandon whining through the baby monitor. I know Drake would take care of him so I didn't move.
"Let's talk later." Drake said. I then heard his retreating footsteps.
I need someone to talk to and I wish more than ever that Darren was still here. I could've talked to Darren and he'd give me advice. I miss him so much.
I grabbed my cell from my nightstand and dialed Veronica. I feel she's the only one I can talk to right now.
"Hi Hayden. It's been forever since I've heard from you. How are you?" She answered.
"I'm loosing my mind. I need to talk to you. Can we meet up somewhere?"
"Sure. Can you come to my house?"
"Yeah. I'll be there in 30."
I showered and dressed, trying to avoid Drake. I then left to go to Veronica's. Hopefully she'll know what I should do.
I got to Veronica's house and parked in the driveway. I rushed up to the door and rang the doorbell. A short moment passed and then the door swung open revealing Veronica.
"You look stressed. What's going on?"
She let me in and we went to sit on the couch in the living room. I took a deep breath before talking.
"Last night I did something and now I don't know what to do."
"Well it must've been really bad if it has you this stressed."
"I slept with Drake." I blurted. "I don't know what I was thinking last night. He was just so sweet to me yesterday. I couldn't help myself."
"Well what does Drake think? Is he pulling away?"
"No. He thinks we should be together."
"That's great! He's stepping up. So what's the problem?"
"We're both already in relationships! I love Ashton and that's why I'm confused."
Is it possible to love two people at the same time? I don't want to hurt Drake or Ashton but I feel I should choose.
"This isn't just about you. You also have to think about Brandon. Who is best for the both of you? Always go with the one that treats you the best. I know Drake is my brother and I should be on his side, but my brother has made a lot of mistakes. Brandon is my nephew and I want him to be taken care of. So choose the best guy. That's all the advice I can give to you."
Choose the best guy? But that's so hard. Ashton treats me perfectly. He's the one guy that accepted that I had a baby by somebody else. He loves me unconditionally and I love him too. Drake, well Drake is Drake. He may be hard on the outside and acts tough, but he's soft on the inside. He was my first love and treated me like I was his world. He's the father of my child and I know he'll protect us no matter what. They're both amazing so who should I choose?
Drake's P.O.V*
I expected this day to be amazing after what happened last night, but I was wrong. Hayden is just upset. After last night, I realized that I want to be with Hayden. I want us to raise our son together, under the same roof. Fiona doesn't satisfy me like Hayden does. Hayden and I have always belonged together. I wish I realized it sooner.
I want to do better. I want to be a better person for her and Brandon. They mean the world to me and if I lose Hayden, I don't know what I'd do. But if she chooses Ashton over me, I'd have to let her go. Whatever makes her happy is important.
My cell rang and I looked to see it was Fiona. I hesitated before answering. She doesn't know anything about what happened between Hayden and me.
"Hey." I answered.
"Hi. I was wondering if you wanted to hang out today. I miss you."
"Uh, not today. I'm not really myself and I want to be alone." I partially lied. I want Hayden to be here with me.
"Oh, okay. Call me later?"
"Yeah."
I hung up and stuffed my phone in my pocket. I should break up with Fiona. It's not fair to her. But I'll hold off until Hayden makes her decision.
The front door opened and Hayden's mom walked in. She looked at me and then walked into the kitchen. Soon she came back with a bag in her hand. She looked at me again.
"Why don't you get a job and move out?" She asked me. "I don't like you living in my house."
"Oh well, get over it." I retorted.
"This is my house." She said.
"Too bad you don't live in it."
The front door opened again and Hayden walked in. She looked a lot more stressed than usual.
"Hi Hayden." I said, standing up. I took a step towards her and she held up her hand.
"Don't come near me." She simply said.
"I'm going to go before I get stuck in the middle of something." Cherry left and it got quiet.
"Hayden." I started, walking towards her. She began to walk away but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her to me.
I looked down into her big brown eyes, almost getting lost in them. I released her wrist and wrapped my arms around her waist. I leaned in to kiss her and she pulled away.
"Drake, I'm just..."
"I want you Hayden." I admitted. "I want to be with you. Don't you want to be with me?"
"I don't know. I need time to think things through."
"What is there to think about? You and I should be together. I love you and Brandon. I want us to be a family."
Hayden's P.O.V*
I never thought I'd hear him say that again. Before we broke up and I fell pregnant, Drake was willing to help me with Brandon. But ever since he got out of jail, we've had a weird relationship. He never seemed interested again.
"You really want us to be a family?"
"Of course I do. I'll get my GED and I'll get a job. I can support us."
This makes things even more complicated. Ashton talked about us getting married after we graduate and that shows how much he loves Brandon and me. But now Drake is ready to commit too?
My cell rang and I looked to see it was Ashton. I took a seep breath before answering.
"Hi Ashton." I answered.
"Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to come over today and hang out."
"Uh, sure. I'll be there soon."
I pulled away from Drake. I gave Brandon a kiss on the head before leaving. I quickly drove to Ashton's house.
Soon I pulled into his driveway and went to ring the doorbell. The door swung open and Ashton stood smiling at me.
"Hi." He greeted.
He pulled me into the house and met his lips with mine. Once again I didn't feel that spark that I used to. But I feel that spark when I kiss Drake. Does that mean I love Drake more?
"I've been thinking about you all day." He said when he finally pulled away.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I just couldn't wait to be with you."
"You're so sweet." I smiled up at him.
I heard nearing footsteps and looked to see Mr. Berkley come into the room from the kitchen. He was wiping his hands on a towel.
"Oh, hey Hayden." He greeted. "It's been a while since I've seen you. No Brandon today?"
"No. He's at home with his dad."
"Oh. So are you staying for dinner?"
"I don't know. I have to feed Drake and Brandon."
"Drake is old enough to feed himself." Ashton said. "I'm sure he's capable of feeding Brandon."
"Fine then I'll stay for dinner. Thanks."
We stayed in Ashton's room until dinner was waiting. Ashton sat on his bed while I sat on the small couch across the room.
"Why are you sitting all the way over there?" He asked me.
"Oh, I don't know. I just sat here."
"Come here."
I got up and walked over to him. He pulled me so I was sitting on his lap. I looked into his gorgeous blue-green eyes.
"You know I love you right?" He asked me.
"I love you too." I said truthfully. I love him, I really do, but I don't know if I want to be with him.
He met his lips with mine and I kissed him back. One of his hands rest on my cheek and the other rest on my thigh. I tangled my hand in his shaggy blonde hair. He shifted so I was on my back and he was on top of me. He never broke the kiss and I was beginning to run out of breath.
His hand traveled under my shirt and I moaned. He smiled against my lips. I pulled away and lifted his shirt over his head. He kissed me again and I ran my hands across his stomach, feeling a slight six pack.
This isn't wrong. I love him and he's my boyfriend. And maybe this can somehow help me with my decision.
"Sorry to interrupt." I jumped at Mr. Berkley's voice. I pulled away and looked sheepishly at him. "Dinner is ready."
We headed downstairs and I smelled something extremely good. I looked on the table and saw Lasagna.
"One of my favorites!" I exclaimed.
"Well then dig in." Mr. Berkley said.
We sat at the table and I began to fill my plate. I feel so comfortable sitting here with Ashton and his dad. Mr. Berkley is a very nice man and if Ashton and I don't make it, I know Mr. Berkley would still treat me the same as he does now.
"So, Hayden," Mr. Berkley started. "Brandon's father lives with you now?"
"Yeah. He couldn't pay rent on his apartment and I couldn't leave him on the street. Living with him isn't as bad as I thought it would be. He actually helps with Brandon and everything."
"That's great. At least he's stepping up and taking on his responsibilities."
"Well there was no doubt about it. He promised to help me from the moment I got pregnant. He's really a great father."
"I'm sure I could be a better one." Ashton muttered.
"You're lucky you don't have to be." I said. "Being a parent is no easy task, especially when you're in high school. You can still be a teenager. You have no idea how much I miss that life."
"She's right Ashton." Mr. Berkley concurred. "If you had a child, your baseball dream wouldn't be as easy to make come true."
"You're lucky you didn't make my mistake. Sometimes I wish I hadn't."
There was an awkward silence as we ate. Ashton should be glad he doesn't have to go through what I do. I'm always so worn out from school work and Brandon. Having Drake in the house has made it a little easier for me.
"When does baseball start?" I asked Ashton, changing the subject and breaking the silence.
"Spring." He answered. "I've already started training."
"Why so early?"
"Because I want to be the best. I can only get there with hard work. It's my dream to be a part of the major leagues."
"And with your effort, I believe you'll get there." I smiled at him.
I can already tell that he's a hard worker. His dream is a big one and I believe he'll reach it. I hope to see him in one of the major leagues some day. Whether I'm with him or not.
After a nice dinner with Ashton and his dad, I went home. Tomorrow I have school and I don't want to be out too late. I gave Ashton a kiss goodbye before leaving.
I got home and went inside to find the house dark. Drake and Brandon must already be asleep. It's strange for Drake to be asleep so early.
I slowly made my way upstairs, trying to be quiet so I wouldn't wake anyone. I got to my room and I almost screamed when someone grabbed my arm and yanked me towards them. The light flicked on and I realized it was Drake.
"What the hell?" I asked him. "You scared me."
He ignored me and wrapped his arms around me. He buried his face into my neck and kissed me there. Sparks shot through me and a chill ran up my spine.
"Drake, what are you doing?" I involuntarily moaned. He kissed up from my neck until his lips landed on mine. He kissed me slow and passionately. I began to heat up. His hands traveled down my body until they landed under my bum. He lift me up effortlessly and I wrapped my legs around him. I tangled my hands in his cropped brown hair and tugged a little. He moved until we fell on to my bed. I lift his shirt over his head and saw the familiar tattoo of my name going up his right side.
"I told you that I want you." He said, finally answering my question. "I love you Hayden Barnes and I'm not going to let you go without a fight. I'll show you every night just how much I love you." He pressed his lips to mine once more and the sparks flew.
I could've cried. I've gotten into something deep and I don't know how to get out of it. Two of the most important people in my life are fighting over me and I don't know who to choose. I'm afraid of hurting one of them and I don't think I could do that. There pain would be mine too. So who should I choose?
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There's the chapter! What did you think? This the most "romantic" scene that I've ever written. It felt a little strange, but i guess you can call it practice.
Anyway, who do you think she should choose? I think they're both on equal grounds. I feel a little sorry for hayden. :(
This chapter is dedicated to 'LifeGoesOn31' because she writes comments on every chapter and I always look forward to them (and everyone else's). But I also love her writing syle. I'm reading her book 'Bitter Kisses' and it's amazing. If you haven't read it, you definately should.
Please comment, vote, and/or fan. Thanks!! ;-)
P.S. There's only 1 or 2 more chapters left. Just so you know. :)