Kabanata 26
I was quiet the whole time we're inside Marcus' room. I was just staring mindlessly at the white walls. My mind's too occupied. I'm thinking about Brandon. I'm thinking about how I can escape the life my mom's throwing on me.
Buo na ang pasya ko. I won't really marry Marcus. Not now that I'm in love with someone else. I will fight by hook or by crook to stop what my mom has for me and my future.
"Miranda."
Napakurap ako nang marinig ang pagtawag sa aking pangalan. I saw mom and she looked unhappy while staring at me.
"Bakit po, mommy?"
"Come here." Aniya at itinuro ang pwesto malapit kay Marcus. "Faster."
Lumapit ako, walang kangiti-ngiti sa labi. I had a glimpse of Marcus. He too looked so unhappy. In fact, he looked angry.
"You two talk. Lalabas muna kami ng daddy mo." Anang mommy at hinila na agad si daddy na hindi na nakapalag.
"Who's he, Mandy?"
I looked at Marcus. My brows creased when I saw his angry face.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb on me, Mandy. Who's that fucking guy?!"
I was too shocked at his outburst. He looked like he's ready to beat me up. Nakaigting ang kaniyang panga at naniningkit ang mga mata habang nakatingin sa akin.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Marcus."
"Is he the reason why you won't marry me?" He growled at me. He tried to sit up but a series of grunts escaped from his mouth. He looked hurt. Oh, he really is. Hindi pa naman tuluyang magaling ang kaniyang mga sugat. May maliliit pang pasa sa kaniyang mukha.
"You're talking nonsense, Marcus." I muttered in inaudible voice.
Tumayo ako, handa ng umalis nang bigla akong matigilan dahil sa kaniyang sinabi.
"What did you just say?"
"The guy in that resto, he's the reason why I almost died, Mandy. Now tell me, hindi mo pa ba siya kilala?"
Si Brandon? Paanong siya?
"You're joking, right?"
"He will pay for what he did, Mandy." Galit na galit niyang saad. Napakurap ako, hindi makapaniwala sa kaniyang sinabi.
"Hindi niya yun magagawa. Quit talking nonsense, Marcus."
His side lips quirked up. "How sure are you? Kilala mo ba talaga siya?"
I was immobilize for a second.
Brandon? I just know that he's into drugs. And he had a lot of women too. Pero ang pumatay? Can he do it? But what about my former professor? What happened to him? Brandon's men took him that night and then he went missing until now. Is he really capable of killing someone?
"He's a bad man, Mandy." Aniya na pumutol sa paglalakbay ng aking isipan. "Your mom won't like him for you. He'll go to jail and and I'll make sure that he won't ever escape."
I stepped back, my heart hurt thinking that Brandon can kill someone. And I'm hurting more knowing that my mom won't ever like him. Hindi ko na alam. My mind's in total chaos.
"You'll marry me, Mandy. I'll make sure of that."
Umiling ako. Isang bahaw na ngiti ang kumawala sa aking labi. "I'd rather marry Brandon than you, Marcus."
"You will fucking marry me!"
Napaatras ako. "I won't!"
He went livid. Kinalas niya ang mga nakakabit na suwero sa kaniyang katawan na ikinataranta ko. Dali-dali akong tumakbo palabas, pawis na pawis at hindi pinansin ang galit na galit niyang pagtawag sa aking pangalan.
I hissed out loud as pain hit my lower abdomen.
"Damn it!" Iilang mura ang pinakawalan ko habang tinatakbo ang daan patungo sa aking sasakyan. Pabagsak na isinara ko iyon at dali-daling pinasibad paalis. I can't just die. Iiyak panigurado ang batang yun.
I swerved when I heard another gunshot from my behind. Dalawang itim na kotse ang nakasunod at pinapaulanan ng bala ang aking sasakyan.
"P*tang-ina!"
Binilisan ko lalo ang pagmamaneho. Hindi na ininda ang panibagong kirot na naramdaman. Gago din kasi ako. Bakit ba sumugod-sugod akong mag-isa? That asshole won't ever just forgive me. Sana pala kinidnap ko nalang si Katarina para walang asungot na bigla nalang sumusulpot.
Binuksan ko ang bintana ng sasakyan. I fired back. Sumagitsit ang gulong ng isang sasakyan at tumama sa isang puno. I grinned as I drived faster. The other car sped faster. Binangga niya ang likod ng sasakyan na ikinainit ng ulo ko. I wanna kill so bad. Hindi ko lang magawa dahil nangako na akong hindi na papatay.
I raised my middle finger and fired back again. Tinamaan ulit ang gulong na ikinasadsad ng sasakyan. The pain in my lower abdomen intensified but I didn't stop driving. Nakarating ako sa hide-out bandang alas-onse na ng gabi. Halos gumapang na ako pababa ng sasakyan nang salubungin ako ng aking mga tauhan.
"Boss!"
Halos pumikit na ako nang maramdaman ko ang pag-angat ko sa ere. I can hear some familiar voices. Rob's angry and worried voice tops it all.
"Save me, Rob. My little girl's going to cry if I die." Nagawa ko pang sabihin bago pa ako mawalan ng kamalayan.
I was crying non-stop for how many hours already. Yakap-yakap ko ang sarili habang kagat-kagat ang pang-ibabang labi. Mom got angry with me again after leaving Marcus in the hospital. She locked me up again in my room. I haven't eaten my lunch and dinner and my stomach's already hurting. Dad wasn't even here. I heard he went overseas after the visit in the hospital.
Pumihit pabukas ang seradura ng pinto. I wiped away my tears and waited for the door to burst open. Iniluwan nun si Ines na may dalang tray ng pagkain.
"Kumain ka na, Miranda."
Napahikbi na ako. Bumaba ako ng kama at niyakap si Ines. "Thank you." Paulit-ulit ang pasasalamat ko sa kaniya. I'm really starving. Kanina pa. If not for her ay baka mamatay na ako sa gutom.
I ate hurriedly. Halos lunukin ko na iyon sa takot na baka mahuli kami ni mommy. Mom is a strict disciplinarian. Kahit noon pa ay ganito na siya dumisiplina sa akin. She will starve me to death hanggang sa mangangako akong hindi ko na uulitin ang ginawa ko.
"Dahan-dahan lang, Miranda. Wala dito ang mommy mo."
Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Ines. "Where's mom?"
"May pinuntahan. Bukas pa yun uuwi."
Napakurap ako at napaisip.
"Help me escape, Ines." Saad ko, seryoso ang buong mukha. "Please?"
Umiling ang matanda at itinuro ang palibot ng aking kwarto. "Maraming nakabantay sa labas, Miranda. Hindi ka makakatakas."
Binitawan ko ang kutsara at tinidor na hawak-hawak. I drink the water in one gulp. If she can't help me, I need to find a way to escape. Time flies so fast. Mahigit isang buwan nalang at magtatapos na ako. My engagement to Marcus is already out in the open.
"Kung may plano ka, huwag mo ng ituloy, Miranda. Mas lalong magagalit ang mommy mo sayo."
"I won't marry Marcus, 'Ya." Buo ang boses na saad ko bago tumalikod. I will accept my mom's anger. Ang hindi ko lang matanggap ay ang pamimilit niyang ipakasal ako kay Marcus.
Umiling lang ang matanda at tumalikod na pagkatapos magpaalam. Naiwan akong naiiyak na naman. I pity myself more than those who live in the streets. I feel worst than them. I have everything life can offer but I feel so lost. I'm totally unhappy. I feel incomplete. I just want my mom and dad. I don't need those riches. I just want a happy and complete family.
Kaya buo ang loob, hinugot ko ang bag mula sa ilalim ng aking kama. I checked if everything I need is still there. Intact pa naman yun at mukhang walang nangialam. I changed my night dress into comfy clothes. I wore a black shirt and paired it with jeans and my favorite keds shoes. I ponytailed my hair in an unfashionable way. I don't care anymore how I looked. Ang importante lang naman ay makatakas ako bago pa mahuli ang lahat.
Isinuot ko ang bag sa aking likod. Dahan-dahan kong pinihit ang seradura pabukas. I grinned when it opens. Mukhang hindi rin nakatiis si Ines at tinulungan na ako. I tiptoed on my way out by I halted when I saw how wide awake the guards are.
Shit! Ilang kape ba ang nilaklak nila at nananatili silang gising?
I counted their number. Nasa anim sila lahat na nakatayo sa hallway. Napailing ako at napaatras. I think I can't just escape yet. Maybe I should wait for the morning to come. Two in the morning? Pwede na siguro yun.
Bagsak ang balikat na bumalik ako sa loob ng aking kwarto. I glanced through the window. Walang kailaw-ilaw ang kabilang bahay. Asan kaya si Brandon? Is he not home yet?
I pouted. I'm worried about Brandon. Paano kung may masamang nangyari sa kaniya? What if Marcus did something bad to him? Huwag naman sana. I can't bear another heartache after what happened today. I'm too heartbroken because of what my mom did.
"Miranda?"
Napabalikwas ako ng bangon nang marinig ang boses ni Ines mula sa labas ng pintuan ng aking kwarto.
"Gising ka pa ba, Miranda?"
Dahan-dahan kong tinungo ang pinto at binuksan. Napangiwi ako nang bumaba ang tingin niya sa aking kasuotan.
"Bakit, 'Ya?"
Itinulak niya ang pinto pabukas at agad rin siyang pumasok. I saw concern and pity in her eyes. Napangiti ako ng mapait. I'm hopeless. Alam ko. But I can't just give up without doing anything.
"Tatakas ka talaga, Miranda?" Anas niya sa mahinang boses.
Tumango ako. "I don't have a choice. I wont marry Marcus, 'Ya."
"Dahil ba sa kapitbahay natin?"
Napakurap ako at namutla. She knows?
"H-how?"
"Seryoso ba siya sayo, Miranda?" Aniya imbes na sagutin ang itinanong ko. "Mahal mo ba siya?"
Hindi ako nakasagot. Nanatili akong nakatunganga sa kaniyang harapan. Nahuli ba kami? Paano? Masyado ba kaming maingay? Masyado ba akong maingay?
"Sana pareho kayo ng nararamdaman, Miranda. Halos ako na ang nagpalaki sayo. Ayokong masaktan ka dahil parang anak na ang turing ko sayo."
I bit my lower lip while staring at Ines. Ngayon ko lang talaga napagtanto kung gaano kalaki ang naging parte ni Ines sa buhay ko. Mula pagkabata ay siya na ang kasa-kasama ko. She's strict too like mom. Maybe it's her way of showing how she cares.
"I- I'm sorry." Yun lang ang tangi kong nasabi. I've been a very bad girl. Ang dami kong naging kasalanan kay Ines. Kung isa-isahin ko ay baka abutin pa kami ng ilang buwan. "I'm really sorry, 'Ya."
For the first time, a smile curved on Ines' lips. Niyakap niya ako at wala akong nagawa kundi yumakap pabalik. Napangiti narin ako. I feel that I'm not alone in this fight anymore. I just need a perfect time. Makakatakas din ako. Makakatakas din ako sa rehas na kinalalagyan ko.