What can I say about Samuel Isiah Jones? For one, he's an asshole with a past, my bad boy with a fast car and rebel ways. Samuel Jones is not a guy that wraps himself in money or status, he doesn't care what the people around him thinks of his ways, nor does he take the subject of his father likely. This is a man with many truthful words and many secrets, this is a man of honor and danger, this is a man that I want to spend he rest of my life with. I love Samuel Isiah Jones, and he loves me too.
Love is nothing to toss around with, you can't throw the world at anyone and expect to take it back. For my entire life, as far as I can remember, I always wanted this feeling. The feeling of wanting to strangle him and also wanting to kiss all over his face, the need to cry and also smile while doing so, the thought of hugging his muscular body and also pushing him away. It was a whirlwind of emotions, a nonstop roller coaster with no lever to just stop.
I imagined myself to have this moment, to hear those three words coming out of my partners mouth and me returning them. However, I never fathom us having a huge fight and me saying the opposite response. I don't hate Samuel, at least not after we became serious, it was the first thing that came to mind.
I looked up at him after crying my eyes out, he still held me close, eyes full of worry as if he were the one to make me cry. Technically, no, it wasn't him- even though he lied about the timing of the relationship, I'm not upset with him. "I look terrible, don't I?" I couldn't help but ask, I tend to have an ugly aftermath face when having a breakdown.
Samuel chuckled lightly, "You look great."
"You're a terrible liar."
He leaned down to capture my lips, but before we can even brush them against each other; the annoying buzzer and loud banging ruined the moment. Samuel painfully peeled away to see who's throwing a fit at his door, I can only pray it's not Diana; I won't be able to control myself if it is. Fortunately it's not, it was someone far worse.
"Have you lost your fucking mind!?" The deep voice filled the quiet large space, the air shifted from happy to rage, and the room turned dark when he stormed further into the apartment. Samuel's father stepped into the living room, face twisted up in anger and disgust when he noticed my presence. I knew why he was so angry and disgusted, the evidence was balled up in his hand- suffering from his iron grip.
"Leave now. We're not doing this." Samuel tried his best to make his father leave, even stepped in between us to shield me from his wrath.
"Your mother have to find this photo, this disgusting trash in our mailbox. For fuck sake, I thought you crossed the line at drugged up models, now you have to fuck pros-"
"Fuck off!" Samuel finally cracked, face twisted up with the same amount of anger, fingers balled up into fist, eyes dark. "Refer to Joy as a prostitute again, I will-"
"You will what, huh? Hit your own father for a slut."
"Samuel," I called out, immediately getting in between them both so the problem doesn't escalate. "Don't, not for me." I urged out, both of my hands on his chest that fell hard every time he exhaled. That raging beast was clawing it's way out again, there's a matter of time before he would act on its desire. Even though his father's a total dick that needs to be punched in the face a few times, I can't allow Samuel to do it. He can ruin the relationship he has with his entire family- specifically his mother, I know he loves her more than anyone else.
"This could of gone out to everyone, our family would be the laughing stock, our name would of been ruined."
"Fuck our name!" He took that threatening step forward, but I used all my strength to hold him back. "Fuck those people! Fuck you!"
His father gave off a short cackle, one that showed his villainess side that I knew was there, but I had to see it for myself. "You fucking idiot. You really think this is going to last, that she's the one to save you from your miserable fucking life. I knew something was screwed up in your head after that night, I should of sent you away! Now look at you- you're nothing, fucking a whore, and what? To make your mother and I suffer? To have this whole family looked down upon because you want easy pussy? Let me tell you this boy, if you have much sense in that Fucking head of your, leave her before you actually lose the little respect I have for you."
Samuel's body grew stiff, eyes grew wide in shock and lips formed into a thin line. He was expecting a lot of things from his father that proved his arrogance and awful behavior, but not this. Not the fact his own father saw him as a burden to the family after that one tragic night Samuel didn't even cause. At that very moment, Samuel no longer saw this man as family. He pushed me to the side as if I were a pillow, grabbed his father by the jacket and basically dragged him all the way to the door to throw him out as if he were a pillow as well. Just like that, just by the slam of the heavy door; their connection to each other disappeared into nothing.
He stormed back to take me into his arms and claim my lips with so much force, I gasped in shock. "You aren't nothing, he's nothing. You're everything I wish for and you're the only family I would ever want."
I nod my head, accepting the fact I would probably be the only family he'll have if his brothers doesn't rebel on their father wishing; I doubt they'll listen to the man and turn their back on Sam. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, this time it wasn't with force nor were we interrupted. Samuel decided to take things to the next level, to block out the anger and the fact he allowed his father to disown him just because of me. I couldn't help but feel guilty, but I pushed it down when he grabbed the back of my thighs and picked me up with ease.
"Samuel," I pulled away. "Having sex doesn't change the fa-"
"Joy, be quiet for once and stop worrying about everyone else and start worrying about what you want. What do you want?"
"I-I want you to make me feel good."
"Then let me do that, no matter if I'm upset or if the timing could be right or wrong. That's one of the reasons why I'm here, to make you feel good." Samuel carried me into the bedroom to do the one thing I wanted... that we both wanted.
******
There's a few things that I hate to step in between of: fate, and a fat boy who sees cake- I learned my lesson on that once. However, when it comes to other people's family's, I tend to intervene on that a lot. Mainly because I didn't have my family for long and there's a few things I wanted to say to my parents that I never gotten the chance to even whisper in their ear before they died. It wasn't hard finding out where Samuel's parents lived, with a little research that took five minutes- I found out they had a nice townhouse in Staten Island, very large and modern.
I knocked on the door four times and took a deep breath, I didn't know who's going to answer that door, it could be Isaac, Carol, or even a housekeeping; I had to prepare myself for the worse. After a short period of time, the door opened to reveal whoever was home. I felt relieved that it wasn't Isaac, but still nervous it was Carol.
She peeked under the door to see it was me before showing her entire body. "Joy, what are you doing here? Is Samuel with you?" A form of hope and fear covered her voice.
"No, he would of never agree to this." I said in a timid tone. "I guess you know."
"Of course, I found the photo."
"Right, I have to apologize for everything that I might have cause to your family. I didn't mean to... I didn't want this to happen, I never wanted anything of this to happen."
Carol sighed heavily to push the fact no matter how hard she tried to be disgusted and upset, she couldn't. "Why are you here Joy?"
"I wanted to apologize, for what I caused and brought up. The photos were before Samuel and I were serious, before you and I met. If I were to go back into the past and take it back, I would. The last thing I wanted was for Samuel and his father to get into a fight, I don't want him to disconnect from his family."
Carol's features softened, her stance was no longer angry and protective, but more calm and sincere. "Why are you telling me this? Why not let it go?"
I sighed softly, my lips curled up into a small smile when the thought crossed my mind. "Because.... I love your son, and I don't want him making the wrong decisions. He loves you too, he would regret not having you apart of his life, and I can't see myself just standing by. I thought I'll do something, speak the truth and hope you two can at least stay in contact."
"Do you want to come inside? I just made iced tea."
"Oh I shouldn't."
"It's fine, Joy. Isaac won't be home until late."
On that note I stepped into the lovely home. Rows and rows of family pictures first greet you t show how wonderful their life are- basically a facade to cover up the mess. The color theme was simple; nude painted walls and brown furniture with a speck of orange and green that seemed to make me want to cuddle around the fire and wait for the first sign of fall. She lead me to the kitchen where she apparently spent her morning making tea and preparing for dinner.
I settled on the bar stool, immediately drumming my fingers on the white marble surface. Carol poured me a fresh full glass of iced tea and even offered a recently baked chocolate chip cookie. "Thank you." I took a bite of the cookie to raise my blood sugar levels, considering I haven't ate anything since breakfast.
"What can I say about this entire situation?" She stood on the other side of the kitchen bar, kneading the dough she was working on before I arrived. "The fact that it's going on still amazes me."
"How did it start?"
Carol sighed heavily once again, obviously distress on the topic. "Honestly, I don't know. You just think of me as a bad mother, I do."
"No, I wasn't-"
"No need, Joy. Did Samuel tell you about the... incident?"
"The fire?"
"No, before that."
"Before the fire? No."
Carol wipes the flour from her palms by smacking her palms together, she grabbed herself a cookie and took a huge bite out of it for motivation. "I suspect this was when Samuel and Isaac had their huge falling out. It was the day of the fire, I was out of town. Isaac and Samuel got into a fight, which pushed him to drag his friends to that party and then.... you know. Ever since that day, nothings been the same between them. You could of stepped in between or even tried everything, but it just never occurred because Isaac is a huge dick to everyone and everything. Then Samuel never really spent time at home and became a dick himself."
I chuckled lightly to myself and nod my head in agreement, "Right. Did you know it took him so long to get therapy?"
"No, I don't quite believe in that stuff."
It's not what you believe or don't believe, it's about your son's well-being.... I wanted to scream at her, make her realize Samuel needed her to interfere all this time. I locked my lips to keep the comment to myself, to make sure I don't get on her bad side too. Before I could open my mouth and say anything to change the topic, my satchel started to vibrate at my side. I gave her an apologetic smile while reaching in the main pocket to take out my phone. "Speaking of the Devil." I voiced while sliding out of the stool to create some distance between Carol and I. "Samuel, hey."
"Uh, where are you?"
"I'm at the center, with Fiona." I quickly answered, obviously not thinking of a better excuse than that.
"Really? Because I'm here to take you out on a surprise date and Fiona just told me you weren't scheduled for today. You're lying, I thought we weren't going to do that anymore."
I squeezed my eyes shut in guilt, "I'm in Staten Island, at your parents place. Hear me out before you get upset." I whispered, hoping Carol wouldn't hear my plea.
"Oh no, of course I wouldn't get upset at the fact my girlfriend went behind my back to go to my parents house, who disowned me."
"Not your mother." The line became silent for, what it felt like, a long period of time. "We can argue about it later." I voiced.
"Stay put, I'm coming to get you."
"Sa-" The line went dead before I could say his whole name. I sighed heavily while putting the phone back into my purse and placing a fake smile upon my face before turning back to Carol who was currently putting the dough into a large bowl. "Samuel is coming over to pick me up. Maybe that can be the perfect chance to talk to him." I suggested.
Carol only glanced up at me before truly focusing on his task. "I know my sons, I know when they don't want to see me."
"Then force them to see you, there's your sons- you make the rules, you have the upper hand." I spoke rather bluntly, not caring rather she likes me or not after this. "I'm going to force Samuel to step in here, it's up to you rather you want to talk or not."
Her eyes lowered in shame as she nod her head in agreement, "Okay."
Under thirty minutes, I heard the loud engine of Samuel's brand new car directly on the curb of the townhouse, along with the loud slamming of his door, and the heavy footsteps on the pavement as he takes two steps at a time. I was already opening the door before he can raise his fist to knock, his highly irritated formed in confusion on why I was here in the first place.
"You ready to go?" He asked, obviously uncomfortable in being here in the first place. His dark brown eyes wandered around the home, waiting for his father to jump out with an axe or gun.
"No, come in side." I stepped back, patiently waiting for him to step in. In which he did with hesitation and caution. I locked the only way out other than the back patio door in the kitchen, where Carol was drinking her ice tea and waiting. Along with nudging Samuel into the kitchen, I stripped him from his hoodie so he can be more comfortable; it's best to be comfortable when entering a deep conversation.
"What's going on here?" Samuel finally asked when seeing his mother. He looked between us, obviously feeling cornered and outnumbered.
"Sammy, I'm going to be outside. Talk to your mother." I basically ordered while taking the keys out of his hand. "Be nice." I added before actually leaving him to fend for himself. I can only hope they have a decent conversation. It felt like forever since I've been outside; seconds, minutes, hours? All I know is when Samuel stepped out that door, he wasn't pleased nor angry, in fact, there were no emotion on his face when coming close to the car.
Just before he grabbed the keys from my hand, he stopped directly in front of me with slumped shoulders. "Next time you want to go behind my back and lay this on me, ask first, okay?" His voice was calm and also stern. I didn't know if he was pleased with me or disappointed, maybe a little both.
"I knew you'll freak out." I said when settled into the passenger seat, easily buckling myself in without tearing my gaze away from the side of his face. "Did she say anything? Did you say anything?"
Samuel pressed the button to turn on the engine before speeding off to the main road. "There was nothing to say. I made my decision, she made her decision."
"So, just like that, you're disconnecting yourself from your parents. All because of what, exactly?"
"Joy-"
"Their your parents, Samuel. I know y'all didn't have the best relationship, but you can't just cut them out of your life like that; especially your mother."
"Enough already. Jesus, you think everyone family is perfect, they're not Joy. I'm sorry that you didn't get a chance to spend more time with your parents, I truly am, but trying to fix this already broken relationship between my own isn't going to change anything."
I furrowed my brows as all these mix emotions came over me, who's to say I wasn't trying to fix that last strain of connection between him and his mother. Maybe I was, but to remind me of my lost chance with both of my parents wasn't necessary. "I was just trying to help." I said instead of arguing over it anymore.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it-"
"No, you did. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't."
"Joy-"
"It's over with, Sammy, I don't want to talk about it anymore."