*Trigger Warning*
I smile as I look out to the club from the bar. The club feels a lot more livelier than it has in the past week. I don't know if it is because of the time passing and people are already moving past the shooting, the drug overdoses are starting to be forgotten, or because Brock is back, but the customers have seemed a bit happier. Or maybe it's the new faces. We had to speed through training Ze and Scotty to get them on the floor, and the guys have definitely taken a liking to them. One thing we feel blessed about was Scotty popping off some amazing bartending skills out of nowhere. It may not feel the same without Smitty, but it's good to see that we have one area recovered. As for Ze, I was definitely right after pushing for Panda to hire him. His more average body type has captured a few guys' attention, and his more shy personality has made him a little more sought after. He may not be ready for the pole, but that's nothing a little more training won't fix. However, for now, he's stuck serving with me. Which he doesn't mind, and Mike seems to like.
As Ze and I talk, I keep my eyes open to watch the floor as the men watch GaLm spin around on the pole. I see Mini, Chilled, and a few other dancers giving lap dances, and a few of the other servers moving from table to table, trying a little too hard to get a bigger tip from their guys.
"Why don't you do what they do," Ze asks me, regarding the other servers.
"Because, you don't need to have your head up their ass to get a tip. If you're their type, that's already a guaranteed tip. If you smile and be nice, higher chance of a good tip. If you leave them be and keep an eye on them, only going up when you see a sign that they are going to need another drink, another good chance. If you go up to them every five minutes asking if they need something, you won't get much from them. These guys just want to watch the dancers, watch you walk by, and get their rocks off to the idea of fucking us. So leave them be."
Ze and I laugh as the last part of my advise, but we stop when we hear someone clear their throat. He and I then turn towards the person that wanted our attention, and we see Panda leaning against the bar. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything important."
"No sir," I say with my usual smile. "Is there something you need from us?"
"Good; so you won't mind me stealing Ze from you."
Ze and I look at each other before he nods and walks over to Panda. I stay by the bar and watch as Panda pats Ze's shoulder a couple times as he leads him to the back. I gulp, feeling my stomach twist a bit. He didn't find out about Mike, did he?
"Why do you look so worried," I hear someone ask.
I turn around again and the knot in my stomach gets tighter. "I'm not worried," I lie.
"Don't lie to me," Brock tells me as he leans up against the bar next to me.
"I'm not," I say, looking away from him. "I'm just, nervous."
"About what?"
"Well, Jonathan is coming back today, and I haven't told him about the shooting yet."
"Why don't you just, you know, not tell him about it?"
"What," I almost yell as I look back over to him.
"Well, he's only going to worry about you if you tell him, and it could push him to try to make you quit before you're-"
"Brock, seriously, what is wrong with you?!"
"Noth-"
"No, do not tell me that it's nothing!"
I take another look out to the floor and see a few customers look over from the corners of their eyes. Snapping my head back to Brock, I grab his wrist and pull him with me, dragging him to the hallway in the back, taking us away from prying eyes. After I shut the door, I turn to him and glare into his eyes.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"There's nothing wrong with me, Evan."
"Stop lying! You spent two years trying to get me out of here, but when I come to you, saying I'm planning on leaving sooner than we had agreed to, you want me to stay. I told you everything that Jon has ever said and done, and he even wants me to leave the club too, and now you're telling me to keep quiet about something that will scare the shit out of him. He's friends with Tyler! Do you think Tyler is going to keep quiet about the shooting when he was shaking from it the next day?!" He looks away from me. "Exactly! So why are you telling me to keep this a secret?! Why are you telling me to stay?! What's wrong with you?!"
He stares down at the ground and stays quiet for a minute. This quickly annoys me and I yell, "Answer me!"
This causes him to flinch before he shakes his head. "Nothing, Evan... It's just... What happened to me made me realize something." He then looks back to me. "None of us are ever going to be able to move pass the club. This has stained our lives."
"What?"
"Evan, within the first three hours of waking up in the hospital, I had three men come into my room, recognizing me and calling me by my stage name. Even if we leave, the club is going to follow us and loom over us like a dark cloud. Even if we never talk about it, we can get recognized."
"But, that's something we already knew. We've always had those creeps that stare at us if they recognize us at the store or something."
"Yeah, but at least at the store, we could think of them as some unemployed chumps with nothing better to do than to drool over a couple guys taking their clothes off on a pole. But I got recognized by a doctor and two male nurses. One of them told me he didn't know for sure if it was really me until he saw my eyes. The other even had the nerve to wait for me to get discharged before coming back into my room and asking me to give him a private show before I left."
He shakes his head again before be continues. "I know that the bastard that stalked Bryce was a business man, but he was different from these guys. He was flashing his money, and I figured all rich men would do that. But no." He then leads back and pushes his back against the wall. "Doctors, lawyers... Anyone can come here and see us. Come around enough and they'll learn our faces. And who wants to hire a stripper."
"That's-"
"Not fair? Discrimination? Take you're pick, we can come complain that it is, but it won't change a thing. A employer can just tell us that there was someone more suited for the job. They don't need to say it was because we sent however many years dancing on strangers, dancing around a pole, all while taking our clothes off. And if by the grace of god, they do give us a chance, now we have to worry about a coworker recognizing us. Then it leads to harassment, and-" he stops and hides his face behind his hands as he let's out a muffled scream. "We're fucked, Evan... I'm fucked."
"Don't think like that," I tell him, trying to hold back my tears. "What about your daughter! You were doing all of this for her; so you could see her again!"
"Yeah, well that was before I got a bill for almost two hundred thousand dollars from the hospital! That was before I lost almost all of my money from this stupid drug habit! That was before I had to... I need to go to rehab."
"What?"
"A doctor at the hospital helped me get in contact with a rehab center, and they're going to try to help me while working with my schedule. But, I have to pay for this... I have to pay a lot. And if they find out that I fucked up again..." He sighs. "If there's anything I could do for my daughter, it will be for me to get clean. That way, if she ever finds me, I'm not too much of a disappointment to her."
"She wouldn't though," I try to reassure him.
"Save it, Evan. Saying things may make it easier for you to sleep at night, but it will do nothing for me. I've seen the light. I've seen the shadows... This job is a stain on our futures. A stain that will never go away and a stain that will keep us here forever. So you're better off getting use to it."
All words are caught in the base of my throat. Staring at the man in front of me, it's like someone had flipped a light switch. The annoyingly caring man turned into a man that doesn't want the future to happen anymore. A man that has given up everything he was working so hard for.
Shaking my head, I start backing away from him, until I turn around completely and leave him in the hallway. Neither of us say another word to each other.
I walk back to the bar and grab my notepad before I go back onto the floor, checking in with each of the customers at my tables, taking everyone's orders. By the time I get back to the bar, Ze finally comes back and he does the same thing I had done. Once all of our customers are taken care of, we meet back at the bar.
"So, what did Panda want to talk to you about," I ask him, wanting so badly to take my mind off of Brock right now.
"Oh, uh, he was just asking me how I'm liking this here, letting me know how I'm doing, and he was telling me he wants me to start looking up tricks for the pole or for me to find someone to teach me how it work it."
"Oh, that's really cool." I jump a little when I then feel my pocket vibrate, but quickly relax.
I then pull out my phone and unlock it, seeing that I got a text from Jon. Just seeing his name on my screen alone is enough to make me smile. He and I didn't really text while he was seeing his family last week, mostly because I wanted him to just spend time with them, so seeing this is telling me something really important before I even open it. It's telling me that he's back.
When I open the text, I lean against the bar and read, "Hey, babe; I just got back to my apartment. You working tonight, or can I see you?"
I quickly write back to him. "Welcome home, babe! Yeah, I'm at work right now, but I get off at my usual time. Want to meet up and tell me how everything went?"
After sending the text, I look up and see Ze smirking at me. "I know that smile," he says with a playful tone. "Is he home?"
I roll my eyes and laugh. "Yeah, he just got home. I'm trying to see if he and I can meet up after we get off work."
"Wait until tomorrow."
"What?"
"Meet up with him tomorrow. Mike will finally be able to meet up with me tomorrow, and we were going to the diner. You and Jon should come join us."
"You just want to do another double date," I say, laughing.
"Well, all my friends are single and a lot of them a man whores."
"What about his friends?"
"His friends are the man whores."
I laugh again and pull my phone out once I feel it vibrate in my pocket. I then open the text and quickly read it. "Not tonight. I'm tired as hell. Maybe tomorrow night?"
"We could make that work, if you don't mind doing a double date again."
After I send my reply, I look back to Ze and open my mouth to say something, but I freeze when I feel a hand land on my shoulder. "You should know better than to be on your phone at work, Vanoss."
Tilting my head all the way back, I look up and see Panda looking down at me. I smile and laugh a bit. "Sorry, sir. It won't happen again."
He smiles back to me before he pats my shoulders and starts walking around me. I bring my head back down and watch as he walks around to Ze. "I would expect nothing less from you." He then turns back to me, placing his arm behind Ze. "Now, I need to go check in with some possible partners. Do me a favor and keep an eye on the place while I'm gone."
"In other words, make sure the place doesn't burn down," I laugh. "You got it, sir."
Panda nods and laughs before he turns away and starts walking off. I wait until he leaves the club before I pull my phone back out, feeling it vibrate while he was talking to me.
"How about you come over instead? I haven't seen you in a week, and I want to see you and soak up as much of you as I can."
I smile down at the text, feeling my face heat up a bit. "I guess I could make that happen. I'll see you tomorrow night, Del."
"Looks like it's a no on the double date this time," I tell Ze, putting my phone back in my pocket.
"Figured when you left it up to him," he laughs.
I look out to the floor, checking to see if anyone needed a refill on their drinks. "What do you mean?"
"Most of the time, guys aren't into double dates. You got to tell them that you want to do it, and stand your ground about it."
I look over to Ze and see him scanning the floor as well. "You make it sound like you have to actually fight for something like that."
"Well, Mike and I have argued before because I was pushing for our friends to date, just so I could go on a double date with them. They're a lot of fun, but, I'll admit, I was being a bit ridiculous, now that I think about it."
He turns his head and looks back to me. "Have you and Jon gotten into your first fight yet?"
"No; you make that sound like it's a requirement."
He laughs, "Well, for a good, healthy relationship, it kind of is."
I shake my head, "I don't want to fight with Jon."
Ze started laughing even more. "No one ever wants to fight. It just happens. After all, you two will be spending a lot of time together. You'll meet his friends, he'll meet yours. You'll share your hopes and dreams, and he will do the same. Then, worry will sink in, or jealousy will slide in, and boom. You two will fight. Or maybe there's a habit that one of you two have that the other doesn't like, and you hold in instead of talking it out. There are plenty of things that can cause a fight. It's normal. All that matters is how you two handle the aftermath."
I lean in close as if he's telling me the secret to conquering the world. "How did you handle your first fight?"
He looks down, his eyes focusing on something that isn't there, as if he was trying to remember something from so long ago. "Well, I doubt you'll have the same experience from my first fight and yours. Mike and I got in a fight because I started hating who he was becoming. While he was at the academy, he started hanging out with these douche bags that acted like they were above not only the law, but all of mankind. They were the type of police officers that everyone hated, let's just say that, and Mike was slowly starting to turn into them.
When I called him out for changing, we got into a huge fight. He and I went back and forth for hours, yelling, screaming, saying everything from the truth to lies. When it ended, we just went to bed. I was tired, and he had class in the morning. When the fight was somewhat over, we didn't talk to each other. Went to bed pissed off, and I'm not going to lie, the bed never felt colder.
The next morning, I felt like a dick, but so did he. He apologized to me, admitted that he had been changing, and he hadn't thought about who he was turning into and how it would effect me. I then apologized for a lot of the things I yelled at him. We made up and he stopped hanging out with those assholes."
I stare at him as if there was meant to me more to the story, but jump back when I feel my phone vibrate again. I pull it out and see that it was only a text from Jon. I open it to see that he started the text with me giving him a nickname based off of a nickname I don't even refer to him as, and ended it with a "I can't wait to see you," and a "I love you."
I smile as I look over the text. It may be healthy for him and I to have to fight at some point, but I hope that some point isn't soon.
The hours track on, and before we know it, we're down to the last hour. Tyler and David start pushing out the more "rowdy" customers out to make closing easier for us. I look down at my phone and start tapping my foot, nervously. Mini sees me and he walks over to me, leaning against the bar before asking, "What's wrong?"
"Panda isn't back yet," I tell him as I stare at my phone. He took off earlier, saying he needed to meet up with potential partners for the club, but he still hasn't come back yet."
"Maybe the meeting is taking longer than he thought it would."
"But he has the keys to lock the front door. I don't want to make Tyler and David stand outside, waiting for Panda to get back."
"Well, there's nothing we can really do," he tells me before he stands up. I look over to him and see him stretch his arms up, popping some of his joints. "Just get started on your closing duties. Collect glasses, drop off and pick up checks, and-"
Before he could finish his sentence, he and I both jump and feel our hearts stop at the sound of front door being kicked open. When I look over, I swear I can see the walls still shaking from how hard the door hit them. My heart starts beating harder... The banging... The shaking... The hiding... The yelling... The crying...
Don't cry!
"Where's Brock," I hear someone yell as I hold onto the bar to keep me from falling over.
Don't cry!
"He's in the back," I hear someone else yell back. "What's wrong?"
Don't cry!
"Vanoss?"
Don't cry!
My body starts to shake and my knees give out. I can barely hear anyone around me. "There was an accident at the hospital! They're going to call him about Marcel!"
Don't cry!
My breathing gets shaky, and I can't breathe. I'm fighting to get air in my chest, but nothing is working. It's like my lungs are being crushed.
There's a loud scream from the back. It's heart breaking, and it's the last thing I hear before my heart starts pounding so hard that it blocks out my hearing. I feel like my throat it closing up! I can't breathe! Tears are filling my eyes! I can't see!
Don't cry! You're not a little bitch! He didn't raise you to be a little bitch! Don't cry! Don't cry! Don't cry!