Heaven.... That's how I felt when waking up to be wrapped in silk, cotton, and a large arms that held me close to a larger body. Monogamous relationship; dinners, late-night deep talks, joking, laughing at everything and anything, hand holding, light kisses, innocent sleepovers, and sinful sleepovers. The thought of it warmed my insides, making me excited and giddy, those butterflies and flames danced with one another- causing my heart to beat fast, lips stretched into a bright smile, my body felt numb and hot; I never wanted to let go of this sweet feeling.
The tips of my fingers glide against his rough large hand, against his knuckles that held tiny scars- a fighter. Samuel told me of his rough patch in high school, the fact he was small, defenseless, his brothers were already off in college or starting their careers; he was alone, not yet capable to stand up to bullies without getting the crap beat out of them. So, behind his mother's back, he went into fighting with his father's permission. Apparently he knows five styles of fighting, learned during the years; boxing- his first ever learned of fighting, jiu-jitsu, kick-boxing, sword fighting- he said that was just for fun, and Judo. Clearly I only knew three of those five things.
I glide my light touch up his arms before carefully turning over to face him. He looked so peaceful, calm- well, almost calm, being that his eyebrows seem to push together as if having bad dreams all the time. Ever so gently, I tugged back the thick strains of hair out of his face before caressing his cheek. You can say I was being creepy and absolutely rude to be disturbing his sleep like this, but he was starting to have another nightmare: he groaned, body jerking violently several time, head moving side to side as if he were trying to wake himself up, and he even grasped for air a few times. "Samuel, baby, wake up." I said softly while running my thumb along his cheek bone.
His brows furrowed once again before finally jerking awake, he turned to his back before sitting up on his elbows to take in his surroundings- to make sure he wasn't stuck in his bad dream. I sat up as well, band on his chest above his fast beating heart, I kissed his shoulder blade to prove he was in the real world.
"Shit," He groaned while rubbing his eyes and falling back into the bed, sighing heavily before uncovering one of the main aspects of his physical characteristics that made him handsome.
"You were having a nightmare," I stated the obvious while placing my legs under me to sit up even more. I combed my my hair with the same fingers that touched him, to look a little decent in the morning. "What was it about?"
"A fire."
"Fire?"
"Yeah." His own fingers glided against my arm. "What does that mean, doc?"
I chuckled softly and shrugged my shoulders, "I don't have my psychology degree yet, but I think you're conflicted and have anger. I could be wrong."
"Maybe so. Let's get breakfast." Indicating the shirt conversation was over, Samuel rushed out of bed- butt cheeks clear as day, along with the side shot of his dock when walking into the bathroom.
"Where are you thinking?"
"Well, I'm thinking we should go to your place so you can change. Then find something quick. What are you going to do today?"
I blew raspberries and shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know, job search. Twiddle my thumbs as I wait by my mail box for the letters. What does an unemployed chick like myself do?"
"Relax, a little."
"Rent is due, phone bill is due, Health Insurance...Oh my god." I mumbled to myself. "Fourteen hundred dollars to my name, I can work that out- just have to eat Roman noodles for every meal until I can get a job."
"Are you talking to yourself?" Samuel stuck his head out from the bathroom, toothbrush dangling in between his lips, brows raised in question.
"No,"
"Uh-huh:" he wasn't convinced, but didn't comment on my delusional acts anymore. "Are you going to that gig tonight?" He was referring to my last escort job.
"No, because we made a promise." I decided to get myself ready so I wouldn't make him late for work. Tip toeing my half naked body to the bathroom, I walked past Samuel to the second unused sink; easily retrieving my toothbrush and stealing the toothpaste from him. I looked refreshed, as if someone finally gave me that can of sunshine I've been asking for, I guess that's what happiness look like; the relief set inside your stomach and the calm state of mind.
He gave off a harsh shirt cackle before turning serious. "You're not fucking the guy. Just go to dinner, give him a pat on the shoulder, and come back to me so we can knock boots."
I chuckled softly, "Okay, fine. Since I basically have your permission, I'll go on this date-"
"Dinner, not a date."
"Apologies, dinner. I'll go on the dinner, make some quick cash and quit. That means I'm completely jobless."
Samuel opened the glass door of the shower before stepping completely in to turn it on. The room quickly filled with steam after I closed the bathroom door to reserve that warm temperature. "How about I hook you up with a job at the law firm?"
"Hell no," I scoffed with a short chuckle before stuffing the toothbrush into my mouth. "You're my boyfriend, I can't work in my boyfriend's office."
"Fine, how about you work with Fiona? She's looking for a youth mentor for a program she made a year ago."
"Shouldn't that be volunteer?"
"Kinda, the mentors gets a five hundred dollar check at the end of the month, it's not much but at least it'll be good on your college application. It's better than nothing, right?"
"Yeah."
"I'll give her a call today."
*****
M say in front of me behind her glass desk, shocked but also calm as if my news were like the rest. I don't doubt that a few of the girls quit because they have a monogamous relationship, but at least they gave this gig a few months before actually quitting. It was a lame thing to do, end this job after a week of trying; but it wasn't for me and I can admit when my actions our shitty. "You two are serious?" She asked.
I nod my head yes, "I knew we just started out relationship..." Just last night we called each other boyfriend and girlfriend.... "But we are starting to become serious."
M could only do one thing: accept another ones happiness and try to get another girl to take my place. "Hopefully it works out."
"Yeah, me too. I'm still going to that dinner tonight, I'm not going to ruin the company's reputation. I just want to inform you this is my last job."
"Very well,"
"Thank you for the opportunity." I stood to my feet and extended out my hand as a professional gesture goodbye.
The corner of M's lips curled into a tiny smile as she gave that hand a firm shake, "Thank you for the journey."
I walked out the building with a small smile upon my face, it never felt so good to quit a job; I mean, the freedom you have, the feeling of satisfaction now that I can pursue whatever career or job I want. I had so much free time, not knowing where to start or end. However, I did get on the train to go back to manhattan for a college store. Pace University, it has a very high acceptance rate, a little cheaper than the other schools, and I can take a few classes online.
I took several pictures when in front of the main building, it wasn't exactly a campus, more like scattered buildings in a five block radius, but that's fine with me. I sent the photo to Samuel and Ronny (separately), with a small message:
Joy: Third tour, wish me luck...
Ronny: I see you sis!!
Samuel: You want me to tag along? It's not that far from the office.
I responded to Samuel first, I already know he'll drive all the way over here and skip a meeting. He always wanted a reason to skip out on work.
Joy: No, I think I can handle it. Get some work done.
Samuel: I'll try.
Then I went to Ronny's message, smiling to myself from his goofy behavior.
Joy: Hey Ronster!
Ronny: Are you seriously starting that up again?
Joy: Sure am. You know you love it.
Ronny: Whatever.
I went inside to sign myself in, the tour consisted of a lot of walking; so I brought myself a water bottle and light snack while waiting for the guides to gather everyone around. As I waited by the sitting chairs, leaning on a banister and eyeing the black marble scenery; I couldn't help but feel excited for going back to school.
"Are you a first time student?" A tour guide wearing a forest green shirt stepped to me, a smile plastered upon her face, making her naturally tan cheeks red.
"Yes, technically. Joy."
She pointed to her name tag, "Gretchen. What made you choose Pace?"
"Truthfully? Or you want the eager student answer?"
"I would prefer the truth, but the eager student would be helpful."
"Well, it's cheaper than the other colleges I picked, and it's close to home."
"Okay. Is this your first time going to college?"
I shook my head no, "I took a few classes, but dropped out. Cambridge."
Her light brown eyes widened in shock and disbelief. "Cambridge, that's fantastic. Hopefully Pace is good enough for you."
Hopefully I get accepted... "Yeah, I'm sure it will."
Like the other two colleges I toured, I adored Pace- even though it's a a lot of walking and you have to go two blocks to get to your class. It was in the heart of Manhattan, not too far from Harlem nor Samuel's office; it was perfect, maybe too perfect. Now I have two more universities to check out to help make a decision, I'll be glad if one of them accepts me; they most likely ask why I dropped out and I can't say I became a stripper to make ends meet. Well, I can, it would make my sob story a little deep and inappropriate- but hey.
It became around that time to meet my last customer, his name was Arnold Bridges- a former market sells men who wife divorced him for a younger and efficient police officer in Texas. He was the silent type, not very talkative, a little ODD as he straightened and moved everything in his path. We met in a small restaurant that wasn't quite prestigious, but I didn't care- I don't want it be anymore romantic. "M said this is your last time. Is it true?" He spoke in a timid, yet strong voice.
I nod my head in confirmation, "Yes and I'm glad you are to be my last."
"Are you sure? I'm not that excited like I use to be."
"I'm so sure, Arnold. Excitement is not everything you know, besides, I always favored the quiet homebodies." I grabbed his hand with both of mine while giving him a gentle smile. "Can you do my a favor?"
He licked his lips and sat up straight in his chair, "Anything."
"Change for yourself, no one else. Can you do that for me? Can you change when you want to?"
"Yes, of course."
"Great, thank you." The dinner went like I planned, Arnold and I talked for a while before it was time to go (basically before the waitress could give the table to someone else), we walked around the block for a little while until we were upon an underground entrance to the subway. Arnold slipped four hundred dollars in my pocket before giving an innocent kiss upon the corner of my mouth. "You're so sweet Arnold." I comment in pure honesty. The man has given his all in the marriage, but she still left him; it's funny how an ounce of passion can change everything in a relationship, when you have the same amount of passion for another and lose all the love you have with the person that gave you everything- their heart and time. However, that's how the cruel world is, or at least it's apart of it.
I did what Samuel suggested, after the date I went back to his apartment so we can spend as much time together before both of us get busy with work and/or school. When reaching his floor, the elevator doors opened to show the tall slim woman that I never would of saw again- but here she is in a short sundress and sly smirk upon her face that turned into a pissed off frown. "I guess it is true." She stepped inside the elevator while I stepped out. We still faced each other with the rage and jealousy in our eyes that indicating one thing that I didn't want to go through in the beginning- war. "Samuel is fucking a whore." The elevator closed to give out the dramatic exit,meeting me from defending my honor.
I stormed inside the apartment, clocking the door behind me before walking around the corner to find Samuel rubbing up and down his face as if he were exhausted, while leaning on the armrest in his slacks and button up. "What was Diana doing here?" I didn't yell nor held a stern gone that showed my anger, I only shared my concerned side.
Samuel took a sharp intake of breath while removing his hands from his face. "When you were doing your escort job, did they take inappropriate pictures of you? Nudes?"
I opened my mouth to speak but words did not form. "They cropped out my face."
"Apparently they save copies of your entire body, and guess what. Now Diana is blackmailing us, threatening to expose your nudes to everyone."
"I don't know how she got those, M... M would never do that." The photographer on the other hand, he doesn't exactly fall in the same guidelines as the company. "I'm sorry, Samuel. What can I do?"
"Nothing."
"What does she want? Us to break up or something? Something stupid? Money? We can figure something out right, I can do something to stop it from spreading." Now panic was coursing through my veins, I knew it was too easy, how can I ever think Diana wouldn't find out? How the hell did she get those photos? Found the photographer? "I'm so sorry-"
Cutting me off, Samuel kissed me gently, slowly; both hands were caressing my cheeks and kept me still as he took my breath away. "It's not your fault." He said against my lips before continuing to kiss me to keep me quiet and calm.
"It is and we both know it. What if she show your parents? Your father will be so pissed, and he'll disapprove of our relationship. Then other people will find out, your co-workers, my college admissions-"
"Joy, I already took care of it."
"What? How? By doing what exactly?"
Samuel took a deep breath, jaws ticked in frustration as he tries to confess. "I didn't do anything sexual."
"Just say it, Samuel."
"I told her the truth, about us, how we met. I gave her everything she wanted to know and I saw her delete the photos on her phone and burned the paper copies."
I took a step back, still skeptical on the entire thing. "And you believe her? There's still copies out there."
"And I'll find them, okay. I already have the name of the photographer. Call the boss, inform her of the betrayal. I don't need you to do anything because everything is fine, no one will know."
I still couldn't believe that it would all go away just like that, but I forced myself to agree. "Okay." No longer in that happy mood, I walked straight into the bedroom to take a shower and change into a burrowed shirt and shorts so I can go to sleep. When stepping out of that needed shower, I wrapped the towel tight around my body and walked out into the bedroom to see Samuel sitting on they'd he of the bed with a thin write unopened envelope in between his fingertips. "What is it this time?" I grumbled.
"Fordham University." He stood to his feet, dangling the thin envelope in the air as if teasing me.
I rushed towards him with a giddy smile and took it out of his hands so I can rip it open. The skimmed the paper twice,mother more I read the first line, the more I frown and all hope and happiness drains. "I didn't get in." I mumbled before crumbling up into a little ball, but before I could toss it in the garbage Samuel stopped me by taking it out of my hands.
"The first letter isn't alway going to have good news." He stated while opening the letter back up. "Don't throw it away, you keep it in some shoebox or something."
"Sure, I guess."
Samuel tried his best to get all the wrinkles before placing the paper on his dresser, his arms caged me in place when I applied lotion to my dry skin. His lips planted kisses along my shoulders and neck, making me smile without even actually touching me. "Let's go dancing." He suggested.
"It's pretty late, and I'm not feeling the club right now."
"We won't go to the club, and it's still early. You don't have to dress up or anything. Please." He kissed my neck twice, I felt him pouting on my skin.
Even though I was tired, I couldn't help but give in. "Okay, only if we get frozen yogurt."
"Deal."
*****
Samuel did his end of the bargain by buying us frozen yogurt, however, my end was a little skeptical when we walked into a elderly home on salsa night. The Spaniard music played in the background while the residents tried to keep up with the music, but failed miserably- still they laughed and kept going. Even though Sam said he wanted to go dancing, his intentions wasn't to dance around the elders (well, I hoped not). He was more in the lines of introducing me to one of the residents, his grandmother.
Her name was Ruth Diaz, an eighty-one year old woman who suffered from kidney failure and beginning stages of Alzheimer's. The family couldn't properly take care of her all the way in Maine, and every nurse she had was either too rude and negligent or she didn't look them. So they moved her to the upper east side, still they rarely visit; Samuel tried his best to be around.
"I visit every Thursday night." He explained. "On salsa night, dance with her a little while and let her brag about how great I am to her bingo buddies."
I wrapped my arms around the one and placed a light kiss upon his shoulder, "I was totally not prepared for this, but I'm glad you dragged me along."
Ruth shuffled back from dancing with her next door neighbor, fanning herself to cool down while flipping down into the light blue furniture. "How come you two aren't dancing?"
"You know I'm not much of a dancer, Nana."
"And what of you? Do you feel the same as my pointy ears grandson?"
I chuckled and shook my head no, "I love dancing, but I never did salsa before."
"Neither did I. I'll let you burrow Harry for this one dance, but don't steal him away- he just starting to like me." She teased with a wink. "Harry, come meet my grandson. He's a lawyer."
"We shouldn't stay that long," Samuel sighed. "It's getting passed your bedtime and I know you have that yoga class in the morning."
"I can stay up a little bit more. Go on sweetheart, let's see your moves."
I took a deep breath before taking Harry's steady hand and walked into the dance floor, I started to giggle- mainly because I'm embarrassing myself and not able to be serious for more that five seconds. Harry was quick on his feet for a eighty year old man; twirling me around, and lifting me off my feet a couple of times. I was actually glad Samuel dragged me out, I needed to be cheered up and stop worrying about the potential ruining of our future- it could all wait till another day.