WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK AMAZINGLY WRITTEN FANFICS MAKE MY CHEST HURT DAMMIT FUCKKKK I CANT
I seem to always start out with swearing and describing my feelings oops 😂 but yay update!!! :D I just wanted to say that u guys are amazing and ur comments are very motivating for me to continue with this story so thank u guys for being awesome :3
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"When salted tears won't dry
I'll wipe my shirtsleeves
Under your eyes
These hearts will be flooded tonight
I'll wipe my shirtsleeves
Under your eyes
Your eyes."
~ Shirtsleeves by Ed Sheeran (aka Ginger Jesus)
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Luke's POV
I woke up alone.
Ashton stayed the night again yesterday, so I expected to feel the warmth of his body cuddled up to mine.
I shot up from my bed, anxiety creeping up on me. What if something bad happened to him?
A small part of me thought I was being irrational and overprotective, but there were so many factors of Ashton's life that could hurt him if I wasn't there to stop it.
Shaking off my sleepiness, I began to search around the apartment to see if Ashton was still here. I checked the bathroom, the kitchen, and I was about to give up until I saw a note on the couch.
I was intrigued and very, very desperate so I didn't hesitate as I snatched the piece of paper, knowing it was probably from Ashton.
Dear Luke,
By the time you're reading this, I'm probably back home. I'm going to attempt to gather my things when my uncle isn't around after work. I hope I didn't scare you by not staying until you woke up-
I paused, my heart skipping a beat because Ashton will never, ever know how much he fucking scared me, and the fact that I have put so much of my emotions into one person is so fucking scary.
-but I didn't want to wake you because you looked really peaceful and I didn't want to ruin that. Sorry.
Love,
Ashton xx
A smile fought its way onto my earlier frown at how Ashton was even adorable through his writing, and everything about him drove me absolutely crazy and I knew I was disgustingly in love with him.
Before I could put the note down, I flipped it over and saw he wrote his phone number on the back.
I quickly reached for my phone from where it sat on a table, checking the time and seeing I had an hour until I had to go to work.
But then I noticed I had received multiple texts and missed calls from a random number. My phone must've been on vibrate.
Oh, fuck.
My stomach squeezed in on itself as I realized the random number was Ashton.
In a frenzy of shaky hands and rapid heart beats, I made Ashton a contact and immediately called him, just praying to god that he was okay, I was so damn worried and my breaths were quickening every second he didn't pick up the phone.
I nearly collapsed when the call went to his voice mail, but I tried again and called him, and I was so distracted by how loud my heart was thumping that I hadn't realized that the ringing stopped and-
Ashton picked up.
"Luke?" his voice was barely above a whisper and he sounded so, so frightened and I was ready to kill anyone or anything that made Ashton scared. Starting with his uncle.
"I'm here sweetheart, I'm so sorry I didn't see your calls before. Are you okay?"
I could hear how heavily Ashton was breathing over the phone as he continued to quietly speak,
"Oh, oh god Luke, I'm so scared I-I should be at work but my uncle was going to-he was so fucking drunk and he pushed me against a wall I-he-"
"Ashton, breathe." I instructed, jumping up and slipping on my shoes incase he wanted me to go over.
"Luke, h-he didn't hit me this time, but it was so much worse-he started to touch me but I kicked him and ran into my room and I think he passed out somewhere, but I feel so disgusting, I can't-" Ashton's voice cracked and he sounded like he was about to burst into tears, and my chest burned because no one fucking deserved that, no one. I've had enough, I was going to call the cops on his uncle if this didn't stop.
"Do you want me to come over there?" I choked out, running a distressed hand through my hair.
"Please do, I need you."
That was all I needed as I began to rush over to the address Ashton gave me, leaving my apartment in a burst of heartache and concern for the shorter boy.
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I skidded to a stop in front of a old, one story house surrounded by overgrown plants and the fence was falling apart, so I easily slipped past that.
I decided it would be stupid to go to the front door, so I went to the back of the house and called Ashton.
"H-hello?"
"Ashton, I'm in your backyard and um-look out your window."
I looked up and saw Ashton peeking out of the window in front of me, and he opened it so I could climb in. Luckily, his house wasn't tall so the window was pretty close to the ground.
Ashton grabbed my arm, pulling me inside, and quickly shut the window afterward.
We both awkwardly stood there, and I wasn't sure if hugging him would make him uncomfortable but I didn't miss as Ashton's lip quivered sadly.
"Oh, Ashton." I surged forward, wrapping him into a hug as he began to cry. I could feel my shirt getting wet where he laid his head, but I didn't mind as I rubbed his back.
I began asking him questions after he calmed down a bit, still holding him,
"Did you-y'know, do anything?" Ashton knew I was referring to his self harm, and he tensed up but he shook his head.
I cradled his head into my chest, running my fingers through his hair as I whispered,
"You're not lying to me, right? I care about you so much, I need to know when you're not okay."
"I'm not lying, Luke, I promise. I'll...I'll prove it." He rolled up his sleeves, and I was only a little bit satisfied when I saw no new cuts on his arms.
"Do you...do it anywhere else?" That's when Ashton looked guilty, and my heart sank as Ashton looked down at the floor sadly.
"I-I'm sorry, I couldn't help it-" Ashton seemed almost scared of me as he began to shake in my arms, but I quickly pressed a reassuring kiss to his forehead,
"I'm not mad, I just want you to call me or text me or anything if you ever feel like you need to do it again, please Ashton." He nodded, and we finally pulled away from the hug.
Ashton began to pout, breaking the serious mood as he whined and tugged on my shirt,
"I'm in need of a cuddle, I'm desperate." I chuckled as he laid down on his bed and patted the spot next to him. I complied, laying down with Ashton and wrapping my arms around his middle, pulling him into my chest.
He snuggled his face into my neck, pressing a kiss on the skin, making my heart speed up.
"Maybe you should get some rest, babe." Ashton's eyes were droopy as he nodded, sighing contentedly.
I thought he was asleep as I felt myself grow tired, but I smiled when I heard him mumble,
"What would I do without you?" My fingers traced patterns on his back as I whispered back,
"You're so lost without me," I joked, and Ashton's giggle was soft and pretty and the last thought that plagued my mind before we drifted off was-
What was I going to tell Calum?
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Lol I hope that chapter was worth the wait! Don't hesitate to vote and comment haha see u guys next timeee ~Hannah