Leah POV
Falling into the couch, I let out a cry of frustration. Anger spiking my soul as I held my head into my hands.
16 nights and 15 days later, I was still no further ahead!
"Come on! You have to do this! You have to.." I trailed off looking at my stomach, as if it had a beacon of both warmth and danger.
I had been to the clinic every day, I had walked into the clean environment, slumped on the seats, held my breath.... and then tore out of there. With my mind muddled with Zak and a future.
It wasn't fair to allow my brain to think like that, to give me any inclination of hope when I knew there couldn't be any, but I was. I knew I needed to do this, to go through with my decision, but the idea of upsetting Zak tore a wound deep in my flesh. After all, this was his baby too.
This morning, I hadn't even left my home, dressed and armed with everything I will need, I got as far as the door before my head threw up Zak's face and because of that? I crumbled into the nearest seat, where I'm still holed up now.
He wasn't here in person, but he was definitely here in spirit.
Glancing at my phone, abandoned on the coffee table, I wondered how many times he had tried calling. The first day it has been at least 30 times, but the number was dwindling, and I knew eventually, they would stop and I would be replaced.
But I don't want to be replaced.
We can't have everything in life. Grabbing my phone, I pulled myself out the seat and set a determined look in my eye. Today was the day. Today I was ending it all....
...............................
The same potted plants laid either side of the doors, the same colours still adorned the walls, the same posters, the same seats, the same well thumbed magazines still laid on the small table in the middle of the room, awaiting a saliva slick finger to dog the corner of the pages.
Pushing my way to the desk, I laid my hand on the same cool blue work desk.
Then it came again...
The cobra that coiled itself around my vocal cords, the puncture in my lungs, the bees inside my skull, the extreme increase in heat, the shaking knees, sweaty palms and the thudding heart that quickened.
The receptionist waited, looking at me as I experienced my melt down, completely unaware of what was happening before her. Patience filled her eyes, but so did understanding.
"I--.." I struggled.
A tear built in the corner of my eye.
Then it all changed again. The scent of lemon coiled under my nose. My stomach flapped and my throat decided to join the clusterfuck and urge.
Clamping my hand over my mouth, I flew from the desk and into the restroom, falling into a cubicle, I emptied my stomach.
The offending smell came again, making my eyes scan the area and find the freshener. Seeing it sat on the wall, spraying its essence, I glared at it.
"Screw yo–"
Choking and spluttering, I threw breakfast up into the toilet bowl and snagged toilet roll to wipe my mouth.
Lemon. You don't like lemon..
I crumbled this time, crying.
Holding my stomach, I let the tears roll down my face.
You don't like lemon.. You are growing.
I wasn't a complete idiot to think that this would stop, that because I didn't want a baby, that it would disappear. That because I didn't want to become a mother that the baby inside my stomach would stop growing.
And yes, I've had time to grasp the face that there is a baby now. Not a thing. Not an It. A baby.
The air freshener hissed for good measure making me pull myself off the ground and flush the toilet before escaping the cubicle. Standing at the wash basin, I scrubbed my hands and rinsed my mouth before looking at myself in the mirror. My eyes slowly travelling to my stomach.
A lot can change in a couple weeks...
For example, morning sickness, that doesn't stick to the damn morning, growth in the boob department and a rounded tummy. That bump..
No.
I wiped the tears that were coming back.
I had to do this. Pushing my shoulders back, I nodded to myself. Just do it!
Rushing out, I flew to the desk and rambled my name quickly. The receptionist smiled understandingly and then offered me a seat.
My hand laid onto my small stomach. I'm so sorry.
•••••••••••••••••••••••
Zak POV.
My phone broke my sleep, which was odd considering I didn't feel like I had slept at all since Leah left.
Rolling over and grabbed it and answered it without a single glance.
"This better be good." I grunted tiredly.
"Z-Zak."
My tired eyes shot open and I bolted up right at the small timid voice. "Leah?"
"C-can you come please?"
Come where? Where was she?
"Uh. Yeah. Yeah uhh... Where are you?" I asked flipping the sheets off my legs.
"The clinic... in Henderson. I'll text you the address. I-it hurts. Please hurry."
My heart hit my stomach, and I wanted to tell her no instantly, but I was dying to see her face. Which is why I said okay and scrambled out of bed and got myself dressed.
I rubbed at the wound in my heart, feeling it's burn at every beat. Not believing that the dream I had, had now taken.
The drive felt longer, the road just kept growing before me and I checked the address twice to make sure I was going to the right place when I spotted the building. The small figure cramped over outside holding herself with pain on her face.
What have you done to yourself?
Pulling in, I turned off the car and got out, ignoring the darkened sky and wind as I looked at Leah's pale face.
Her eyes met mine with upset "I-I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I replied, saying it, but not feeling it. How could I be okay with it? It wasn't what I wanted. Not at all.
"I-" She hissed and leant forward before picking her bag off the floor. Taking a few pants, she stood up and slowly made her way towards me.
When a hard gust of wind decided to slap me in the face, both literally and figuratively, as her baggy t-shirt whipped in the air and pressed against her skin.
A bump.
I choked on my own breath and coughed hard before turning away and going back towards the car. Without a word shared, we both got inside and sat staring at the building.
"You should have called. I would have came with you.." I muttered. I would have said goodbye too.
"I needed to do this on my own."
I scoffed and kept quiet.
"I know you didn't agree with it Zak. I'm sorry I've put you through all this and more."
Silence.
Her hand came over and touched mine, but I wanted to recoil and snatch it away. But being a sucker for her small fingers and soft voice, I stayed, I allowed her to hold my hand.
And I allowed her to put my hand on the bump which was soon to leave me. Leave us....
"Which is why you need to know, our baby doesn't like Lemon. So for Christ sake remove everything with lemon out of your house. Otherwise I'm going to be throwing up everywhere."
My eyes shot off the building to hers, instantly.
"You mean...."
"Once bitten and twice is shy, but I have you. I have us. We can do this, can't we?"
She didn't... But—
"I tried, I've tried. But today..." A tear rolled down her cheeks as she pulled a picture from her bag. "Meet our little Strawberry... Our Strawberry Daiquiri."
My eyes moved to the sonogram in front of her as a cry left her lips.
"Y-you mean..."
She nodded as a hiccup escaped her. "I'm ten weeks."
Her brown eyes looked at mine, bringing my loneliness and hate to an instant stop as I looked at her.
"We're having a baby."
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Thank you for your patience!! Turns out I was coming down w an illness that sparked my anxiety off. -- Brilliant.
Hopefully get more updates going now I have a week off my crazy work schedule.
Hope you all have a good week! X