Tap...Tap....Tap....Click....Swoosh.
Ali tears the page from the type writer and glances over the words one more time before stamping it heavily with the badge of the Home Office. She added the letter to the gathering pile beside her and sighed. The stack of letters beside her would, by tomorrow morning, be informing families all across Britain that their son was either killed or missing. As she lay the new letter on top of the pile her heart sank for the strangers family she was writing to. Sergent Edwinstowe had been killed several days ago following the retreat in France. The letters on the page were black, cold and to the point. Ali tried to imagine the face of his wife as she read the letter and wondered whether Sergent Edwinstowe had left behind any children. The thought horrified her and Ali instinctively cradled her bump beneath her dress. It doesn't bear thinking about.
Ali shook the thought from her mind and gathered the papers in her hands as she rose from her chair. The office was busy today, the tapping of type writer keys was brittle in the air and the click clack of shoes along the wooden floor echoed off the white wash walls. Ali weaved between the desks and people towards her supervisors office. The letters on John Steelman's desk were already piled high, awaiting his signature before being sealed in an envelope and sent.
Ali hovered reluctanty at the door before entering.
"Miss Dawes," Mr Steelman peered over his large broadsheet newspaper.
Ali's mouth twitched uncomfortably "It's been Mrs Harrington for several months now Sir," Ali uttered.
Mr Steelman rolled his eyes playfully as he folded the newspaper in half and stood up from his desk.
"Come here my girl," he beckoned her in as he perched on the edge of his desk.
John Steelman was a man in his mid to late thirties. A middle class man, he'd somehow avoided conscription and found himself in a senior position at the home office. Steelman was brash and arrogant and considered himself a ladies man. His dark hair was slick and oiled and pushed back from his face. His face was angular and sharp and his features held a certain cruelty to them. He wore an ill fitting three piece suit, one in which the trousers were too tight and left very little to the imagination. He made Ali uncomfortable, there was little else to it.
"Sorry Sir I must be getting back to my desk-" Ali started as she backed away towards the door.
Suddenly she came to a halt as her back collided with another person entering the office.
"Umfft..." Ali huffed as the person behind her dropped a pile of papers onto the floor.
The papers splayed out around their feet and fluttered across the floor.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," Ali flusters as she crouches down and scoops up letter after letter.
"Don't worry about it," the lady smiles as she too bends down to pick up the fallen papers.
"Thanks," the lady smiles as Ali hands her back the papers.
"Oh wait there's one more," Ali reaches for the last page. Her delicate fingers grasp the edge of the paper and turn the page towards her.
Suddenly her eyes go wide. The world around her fogs and her ears become muffled to the voices around her.
His name... Its his name.
The lady reaches out for the paper, blissfully unaware of Ali's world shattering around her.
Ali grips the page tight as her glossy eyes tear over the writings.
'We regretfully inform you that on this day, Aircraftman Jack Collins is missing in action; presumed dead...'
Ali read on but the words left her mind as soon as she'd finished them.
Presumed dead.
"Ali," a sound from somewhere deep in the haziness of her mind.
Presumed dead.
"Ali," the voice is muffled and slow as though the words were travelling through thick treacle.
A hand reaches for her shoulder, it's John. He shakes her from her trance and slowly his face comes into her vision.
"Are you alright?" his usually cool and cocky voice is laced with concern.
Her eyes are fixed and unmoving and a slow tear rolls down her cheek as she nods her head.
"I need to go," Ali clears her throat and wipes her eyes, smearing her tears across her face "I need to go," she says more hastily now.
John nods "Okay Ali, alright," he had barely finished his sentence before Ali spun on her heels and hurried out of the office. Her mind was racing with a million thoughts as she grabbed her long brown coat from the coat hooks and shrugged it on.
Jack was gone... Really gone this time. She squeezed her eyes shut willing the terrible thought from her mind.
Missing.
The letter said missing but it was hard to avoid imaging the worst. As Ali rode the elevator down to the lobby she mentally cursed everybody getting in and out at other floors.
Dead.
Her mind quickly reverted back to Jack. Even if he was 'just missing' this didn't actually make it any better. He was gone somewhere, but where? How long had he been gone? Was he alone? Why was he out there? The very questions themselves troubled Ali and the uncertainty of everything sent a cold sweat tingling down her spine. Missing? Dead? What did it matter, either way she needed answers and she needed them fast.
Ali paced back and forth in James' office. Her heeled shoes clicking along the dark mahogany wood. The office was a grand affair, much like their house. The high walls were lined with heavyset floor to ceiling bookcases. Books from across the years were piled high, medical books, research books- some of which had been published by James himself. A matching dark wooden desk took centre position in the room, there was an emerald green and gold lamp resting on the desk and underneath it was a gold framed photograph of Ali on the steps of their London home. Another photo in a matching gold frame was beside it. It was Ali and James on their wedding day, the black and white photograph showed them facing each other, with Ali's hands resting in James'. He was staring adoringly into her eyes as she smiled back up at him. Ali walked behind the desk and stared out the large airy window to the city streets below. People were hurrying to and fro, all were unaware of the current turmoil unravelling in her life right now.
The door creaked open and a smartly dressed James walked in. His crisp white shirt contrasted with the dark grey of his waistcoat and suit pants. Around his neck was a maroon stethoscope and draped over his right arm was a long white lab coat. His dark hair was neat and pushed back from his face, revealing the deep set crinkles on his forehead as he furrowed his brown in concern at Ali.
"Darling," he hooked the lab coat behind the door before hurrying towards her with arms out stretched "Is everything alright?" he takes her hands in his and leans down to kiss her cheek gently.
Ali starts to cry then, soft sobs escape her and she falls against James' chest, her head against his shoulder as she tries to find her words.
"Is it the baby?" a rise in panic is heard in his voice as he holds Ali at arms length and searches her eyes.
Ali sniffles but shakes her head "No my love, the baby is fine," she says relieved, reassuringly squeezing his arm.
James visibly relaxes but instantly his face worriedly knits back together "What it is my love, tell me?"
Ali nods and wipes the tears from her face. She steps away from James and he takes a seat on the large emerald green velvet armchair behind his desk. Ali rampantly expels all of the information, she recalls the days events with waving arms and raised voices. James says nothing but watches as she paces around the room, stopping frequently to check he is still paying attention.
Finally she comes to a halt and with tears pooling in her eyes she inhales deeply and turns back to James "I need to go to Uxbridge, I need to know everything, I need to know more,"
Ali hesitates before walking up to the desk. She plants her hands down on the cool wooden surface and leans across the James.
"I know it isn't proper of me to ask you to let me do this. To ask you to let me go back and find out more about what's going on with Jack...but I have to know James, I have to. Please," their eyes meet.
James who had been silently taking it all in sat back in his chair, his hands together lightly touching the skin of his lips. He cleared his throat before standing and walking around the desk to be next to Ali. The two of them perched on the edge of the desk and for a brief moment there was silence.
"We haven't known each other for very long Ali, but in the relatively short time that we've had together, I have fallen completely in love with you-"
Ali lowers her head but James reaches out to touch her cheek gently, making her turn back to face him.
He continues "And whilst I know that you love me too, I know the love you hold for me is but a fraction of what you ever felt for him," his voice is soft and calm and holds no malice or anger. "But you are my wife Ali...and what is marriage if not a test of love?"
Ali waits for him to continue, she watches his beautiful face as he smiles weakly at her before leaning down to kiss her forehead.
"Go to Uxbridge my love, you needn't ask my permission. I hope you find the answers you are looking for and that whatever happens you find peace in moving on with your life, with our lives together," he adds.
Ali inhales in relief and brings James's hands to her lips, kissing them feverishly "Thank you James," she kisses them again "I'll be back in a few short days," she hurries towards the door and opens it swiftly.
Before she exits, she hovers in the doorway and turns back towards her her husband who is looking forlorn "I really do love you James, please don't forget that," she blows him a kiss and hurries out of the office.
James reaches up into the air and catches Ali's kiss, he then presses his clasped hand against his heart and smiles at the empty doorway...
A/N: Hello everyone, please let me apologise for my abysmal efforts in updating this story. I have been crazy busy since graduating, starting my new job and moving to the City etc...BUT I finally feel I am getting there now and, sidenote...this adulting malarkey is a whole new ball game... aaaaannnyyy way I will be updating this story and I have the next chapters until the end of the book all squared away, so rest assured you won't be waiting months for an update!! Thank you all for your lovely reads, vote ups and comments...it's still amazing to know how many of you are enjoying this story! R.