Ellie couldn't remember a worse night's sleep. She lay awake, staring at the dark ceiling and listening to the noises coming from the other rooms, the footsteps from the corridors, the muffled voices from across the palace. Everyone was restless, tense, anxious, so much so that she could feel it in the air. Nobody was sleeping, at the most they were lying there with their eyes closed, waiting to drift off.
Alex was shifting about in her bed constantly, never finding a comfortable position. Ellie could hear their parents in the room next door too, getting up constantly and walking around. Every now and then one of them would peak into Ellie and Alex's room, checking if they were asleep. Ellie pretended she was, but her parents could likely tell that she wasn't. It wasn't worth having a conversation over anyway, they all knew why they couldn't sleep and she had decided that talking wasn't going to help.
They were all waiting, hoping to hear something good. Nobody cared how early in the morning it was, they all knew that as soon as they heard anything, the whole house would jump out of bed. The only thing that they could do was try and sleep, hoping that they would be able to make a few more hours vanish.
It was hopeless, Ellie thought. Staff rushed hurriedly down the corridors, people were talking in the other rooms, cars were arriving throughout the night with their headlights strafing the walls of the palace and lighting up each room. It was as though night had never actually come, as if Sandringham still thought it was daytime and was acting appropriately.
Ellie gave up, she'd gotten a couple of hours, nothing more, and even that was separated into short fifteen-minute stretches. She decided to climb out of bed and go for a walk, copying her parents. They hadn't made a noise for at least half an hour, so she figured a walk must have helped.
Her suitcase sat against a chair beside her bed, still mostly packed up. Struggling to see in the darkness, she knocked it on its side as she was trying to find some slippers and a nightgown, causing her neatly folded clothes to fall out in a mess and her sister to wake up.
"Walk much?" Alex groaned.
"Snore much?" Ellie retorted.
Alex wrinkled up her face and sneered at her before burying her head in the pillow. "Don't get lost."
Ellie roughly shoved her clothes back into the suit case, but her eyes were drawn to a black dress that had been on the bottom of the pile. Even in the dark of the room, the black fabric of the dress seemed to stand out and yell at her.
Every royal is supposed to always have something black to wear, just in case a family member died unexpectedly. Ellie hated seeing it in her suitcase. It always made her depressed when she saw it, especially over the last few years and seeing her great grandmother slowly pulling away from public life. She had never paid much attention to it, but recently she always seemed to be there in the exact moment Anna packed it into her suitcase.
Ellie picked it up daintily, avoiding touching it as much as possible, and then shoved it back into her suitcase and covered it with a pile of clothes. She didn't want to see it just yet, she told herself, tying the sash of her nightgown with a determined forcefulness.
The corridor outside wasn't as busy as she expected, since it was the Queen's apartments after all. The staff all seemed to recognise that the family needed their rest, and the few courtiers that did walk the corridors made sure to be as quiet as possible.
Ellie watched them as they moved around her, all of them bowing to her and leaving her to roam the palace. They were all looking gloomy, already seemingly in mourning. She could see it in their faces, a distracted, distant sort of look, and in the way they looked at her, pitying, worried, looking after her. In that moment Ellie felt like everyone was her parent, all of them waiting to see what she would do, whether she would burst out in tears or be crushed by the responsibility.
It wasn't just her though, she could see the same looks being given to her dad and grandfather. Even though everyone in the palace was contemplating the loss of the Queen, special attention seemed to be being given to those closest to her in the line of succession. Charles and Camilla had arrived not long after Ellie's family, still wearing what they had worn to the party hours before, yet the staff seemed to bow even deeper than normal, be even more gracious than usual, as if he was already the King.
Ellie was less worried about her grandfather. As long as she'd known him he had always appeared ready to be King, by the time she was born Charles had been a king in waiting for sixty-four years. He was so kingly that Ellie had spent much of her early life thinking the country had two monarchs. It wasn't until later in her life when her father had explained the royal ranking system and the line of succession that she'd actually understood Charles' place in all of it, as well as her own.
Of course he's worried, he seemed a bit shaky when he arrived, and quieter than usual. But everyone knows that over the last few years he's been King in everything but name.
Everyone had been doing more work. Her mother definitely hadn't been lying. The whole family had prepared for a surprise death years ago, stepping up engagements, taking over patronages and official duties. Ellie had been at school for most of it, but she still ended up being pulled into events with her parents more often than she was used to.
But her great grandmother had thankfully kept going. She heavily reduced her work schedule, but her family schedule had never changed. The past few years had included Sandringham Christmases, summers in Balmoral, Trooping the Colour all as usual. There was never a time where Ellie felt like Elizabeth had become isolated from the family, and this meant they had all grown used to her being around.
Ellie wasn't the only one in the family who thought the Queen had planned it this way, allowing her family and country to get used to her not being around in an official capacity, but not leaving them shell shocked by passing away suddenly.
She was always super crafty.
Ellie crept silent across the palace, avoiding the staff where she could. She watched from a distance as doctors quietly entered and exited the Queen's bedchamber, constantly checking up on her. There was no obvious looks on their faces, no frenzied chatter, so Ellie assumed that her great grandmother was still asleep. Philip would probably be annoyed with the constant coming and goings of the doctors, but he wouldn't be anywhere else.
She hadn't heard a word from her great grandfather all day, only briefly greeting him at her birthday party hours ago. As far as she could tell, Philip hadn't left his wife's side.
I wonder if I'll meet someone like that. No, no, don't think about that just yet.
Despite the massive changes in her family, in her country, that were happening all around her, Ellie had convinced herself not to think about them. The chat with her mother had decided one thing, that all thoughts of her royal destiny were being put on hold. Yes the succession would change. Yes they might all be getting new titles. Yes she may soon no longer be third in line to the throne, but all this was secondary to her family. She was about to lose someone who had played a huge role in her life, that was it.
She wanted time to deal with that and then to just be herself. It would be a lifetime before she would ever become Queen, and as far as she was concerned she wasn't going to think about it until the time came.
It's not just about you though, is it? What about Dad? What's gonna happen to the family when Dad becomes Prince of Wales?
She was more worried about her father. Mum was looking after him, keeping a close guard on his feelings, always staying close to him. Emma was doing the same with Harry. As much as she loved her great grandmother, it was her father and uncle who had a much stronger emotional bond with her. They were probably about to lose their grandmother, but Ellie couldn't really tell how they were feeling. Her parents, along with her aunt and uncle, were so focused on how their children were doing that it was hard to get a word in and ask them.
By the time she had decided to head back to her room the sun was starting to rise. She hadn't really kept track of where she was walking, but with all the corridors looking roughly the same she knew it didn't matter. Getting lost would just be a nice distraction from everything that was going on. She could pretend to be a kid again, playing hide and seek and running between the portraits of people she didn't know. It was nice to stare up at one of the old paintings that hung from the wall, run her fingers along the gilded golden frame and remember a time where everything felt new and nothing felt like it was coming to an end.
"Eleanor, Eleanor, come here darling." Her mother had said years and years ago. She pulled Ellie back by the hand and knelt beside her, then pointed up at the painting.
"And who's this one?" Kate spoke closely into her ear.
Ellie could remember shaking her head and pretending not to know. If she said the right answer she knew her mother would just want her to get all the others right as well. Ellie always wanted to play instead.
"Come on, I know you know this one honey."
"Nope, who is it?" Ellie had asked innocently.
She remembered her mother's stern look, right down her nose. "I promise you can go play if you get this one right."
"Promise?"
Kate nodded at her, smiling expectantly.
"It's Edward the third Mummy." Ellie told her. "He became king when he was fourteen and ruled for fifty years. Can I go now?"
"Yes you can poppet, good girl." She earned a massive engulfing hug from her mother who wouldn't let go until Ellie eventually wriggled away.
Of course now it wasn't as exhilarating, she knew who was in every painting and wanted nothing more than to go back to bed. The early morning stroll through the palace had worked and she was now more tired than ever, but the sounds of running footsteps echoing towards her pushed the thoughts of sleeping far away.
Alex span around the corner, her exhausted face lit up by the sun that was starting to streak through the tall palace windows. She slid to a halt in front of Ellie and bent over, hands on her thighs and taking deep breaths. Ellie helped Alex up and made her stand up straight.
"Better?" Ellie asked.
"She's awake." Alex said between breathes. "Granny's awake."
Ellie stood frozen in shock. Alex grabbed her hand and started sprinting, speeding past the portrait of Edward III on their way. Gradually her feet started to work again, keeping pace with her sister. All thoughts of tiredness and sleeping were gone, she had never felt wider awake.
Ellie had grown comfortable thinking she'd never speak to her granny again, but her reaction told her she was completely wrong. If she hadn't woken up, Ellie would have regretted not spending more time with her, she would have regretted running away at the party when those could have been her great grandmother's last hours.
She had to see her.
Together they charged across the grand ball room, their footsteps echoing on the marble floor and reverberating all around them. Through the large towering windows they could see more cars arriving outside, as well as people running through the corridors. They sped past footmen and courtiers alike, everyone converging on the same spot.
In a frenzied mess, the entire family crowded together outside the Queen's bedroom. Some were in their pyjamas, others in hastily put together outfits. Pretty much anyone who had come to her birthday the day before was still wearing party clothes, those who had turned back half way through their journeys home and had no time to get changed. Even the staff gathered in close, ignoring all sorts of rules and protocols about distance and privacy, but nobody cared. Everyone gathered around the closed door, struggling to see, all wanting to know how the Queen was doing.
The doctor came out just as Ellie felt her parents shuffle in behind her. He was immediately uncomfortable in front of what appeared to be the entire family and house staff, his voice so quiet that everyone strained to hear.
"The Queen is awake. She is weak, but she is awake and speaking."
He looked straight to her grandfather Charles, who made his way to the front of the group with Camilla beside him. The doctor deferred to Charles and opened the door, allowing her grandparents to quietly slide into the room with nobody else being allowed to follow.
She could feel everyone around her deflate as soon as the door closed, all of them expecting a long wait before they could see her, but instead they heard a chirpy, lively voice chuckling from inside the room.
"Is the whole family out there?" Elizabeth said.
There was a pause and some quiet murmuring.
"Well bring them in then!"
Everyone burst into laughter as the door clicked open once again and they all started to flood inside. Very quickly the gloomy mood had lifted, replaced by a light and airy atmosphere that none of them ever wanted to leave.
Ellie could feel her nerves rattling as she went inside, with George and Charlotte weaving around her legs and tripping everyone up. She was expecting to see her granny hooked up to all sorts of machines, more robot than woman, hanging onto life by a single thread, but that was far from the case.
Elizabeth sat upright in bed, supported by dozens of cushions and looking incredibly cosy with a sleepy looking Duke beside her. She beamed a massive smile at all of them, her arms open wide and welcoming.
Ellie found herself at the front of the group. She gave her granny a quick and shaky curtsey, just about remembering to do so and holding up the entire crowd behind her.
Elizabeth waved her hand dismissively. "Just this once, enough of that. Come on, I want to see everyone."
Ellie rushed forward and thankfully kissed her on both cheeks. She debated whether she should hug her, but her granny pulled her in for one anyway. She didn't seem ill at all.
"And take those grim looks off your faces, I'm not dead yet."
"Sorry Gran." Harry said. Ellie noticed everyone smile at the same moment, quickly hiding their confusion. Everyone was so unsure. It was hard to believe that the woman sitting in the bed was a hundred and four years old and had a stroke only a few hours before.
Elizabeth rubbed Ellie's back and waved at everyone to come forward. "Come on, everyone inside, children up on the bed now, pip pip!"
The younger royals cheered and flooded forward, climbing and pushing their way through the adults, stepping over their feet and climbing up onto the Queen's bed. Ellie helped George and Charlotte up as well and soon the bed was packed with as many kids as a grand queen size would fit. They nestled themselves between the cushions, between Elizabeth and Philip, making themselves at home. She even moved to give Ellie space to climb onto the bed beside her.
"That's it. There you go, get comfy." Elizabeth put one arm around Ellie and the other around Isla, who had found herself in the most prominent position between the Queen and the Duke. "Sydney, bring in more chairs please."
"Right away your Majesty." Sydney disappeared out of the room along with a dozen footmen.
"What's going on Gran?" Harry asked as the adults gathered around the edges of the bed.
"I'm in the mood for some family time, that's all."
Amazing, this is all I was hoping for.
The family bundled around, confused. Her dad and uncle competed over a chair that eventually William won. He placed it down beside Ellie and sat down, with Kate sitting on his lap. More chairs were brought in, along with a projector and screen that was set up at the foot of the bed. The whole family cheered as some old home movies started playing on the screen. A young Elizabeth was feeding a giraffe from some sort of enclosure and laughing at the camera when the giraffe licked her hand.
"Ah, now this is from Kenya In 1952. We stayed in this lovely treetop hotel and could film all the animals down below."
Soon everyone was completely distracted, smiling and laughing as they watched some of the Queen's earliest home videos. Ellie spotted a few yawns every now and then, but for the most part everyone had forgotten how badly they had all slept and how early in the morning it really was. Elizabeth had energised them, but in the back of everyone's minds was the fact that she had never been this casual, even in private. Her bedroom had never been so busy, and to set aside the bowing and curtseying? They were all so used to doing it that the idea of not doing it was completely unheard of. Even the youngest of them were already getting used to doing it.
It was clear that, as well as she looked, Elizabeth was anticipating not being able to do anything like this ever again.
The thought brought a tear to Ellie's eye, which she wiped away with the sleeve of her nightgown.
"Eleanor." Elizabeth patted her arm, speaking quietly so that nobody else would hear her.
Ellie pretended she hadn't cried and instead smiled at a hippopotamus on the screen. "Yes granny?"
"I want to give you something." Elizabeth reached over Ellie and grabbed a small red and gold box from the bedside table. She flipped open the lid to reveal a golden 'E', the Queen's monogram, attached to a thin golden chain. It was sitting snugly in its original box and was clearly something that her great grandmother had planned to give her.
"Oh Granny." Ellie said, covering her mouth.
"I don't wear it as much as I used to, but it's yours now." Elizabeth said, taking it out of the box and placing it around Ellie's neck.
"Granny you don't need to..." Ellie told her as she helped move her hair out of the way.
"I don't need to, no, but I can remember my name well enough by now. It can represent Eleanor just as well as it represented Elizabeth."
Ellie stared at the necklace, admiring it, affectionately rubbing the E with her thumb. Elizabeth adjusted it for her and positioned it so that it was perfectly square on her chest. "My father gave it to me when I was a young girl. It's been with me ever since."
Ellie could see tears building in her great grandmother's eyes as she stared at the necklace. She could tell how much it meant to her and what a big deal it was to be handing it over. Ellie hugged her again, burying her head in Elizabeth's fuzzy dressing gown.
"Thank you, Granny, I love it." Ellie whispered. The rest of the family didn't notice, their attention was still focused on Elizabeth and Philip in what looked like Balmoral thirty years before.
"I want you to keep hold of it, treasure it, so I'll always be with you."
"I will, I promise."
Elizabeth directed her attention to William and then to Charles, then whispered in Ellie's ear. "You'll have to wait a while, let the boys have the crown back for a bit. Us women will have it back eventually and I'm glad it'll be you, you'll do splendidly." She patted Ellie's arm once again.
She looked so proud of her. So expectant of her greatness. Ellie didn't want to tell her about all the doubts she had, all the things she'd been thinking. She just wanted to live up to that hype.
"I'll try granny, I will. I don't think I could do it without you there." She said.
"That'll give you enough time to find something you're passionate about and stick with it." Elizabeth nodded knowingly at her.
Had she been talking to my teachers as well?
"Always be a leader Eleanor, be compassionate. Don't just hold the power, but use it to do good everywhere you go, in everything you do."
Ellie didn't want to say anything, just in case her worries started flooding out. It was clear that Granny was getting her last words in, so she just wanted to sit with her and listen to her. One last time.
"You can be great. I know it." Elizabeth reassured her as Ellie lay against her, feeling like a little girl once again. They both laughed at what came on screen next, a more recent video of her and Alex riding horses at Windsor with her cousins Mia and Lena.
"And for goodness sake!" Elizabeth suddenly spoke much louder so that everyone could hear, all of their eyes turning worriedly towards Granny. "Get these girls back in the saddle, it's been too long since I last saw Eleanor riding."
The whole room erupted into laughter, even the footmen were chuckling.
Over the next few hours Elizabeth would cycle through everyone in the family as they all took turns in different chairs. When Ellie left briefly to go to the toilet, she found her cousins James and Isla had stolen her spot beside Granny, so she sat in Kate's lap instead, sharing a small ornate lounging chair with both her parents. She listened as Elizabeth gave advice and told stories to everyone, and lowered her voice to speak more privately just as she'd done with Ellie.
The whole family could tell what was going on, but they didn't let that ruin the mood. They had food brought in, bowls of cereal, plates of toast and fruit. Somehow so much time had passed that they were eventually having lunch, all in the Queen's bedchamber. It was completely unheard of, but it was truly a family gathering. All protocols had gone out the window, they could just relax and enjoy each other's company, laughing at old home movies together and covering the carpet in breadcrumbs.
Every now and then something would appear on the screen that would remind Elizabeth of something, and she would talk over the footage like a commentator. Ellie always disliked when her parents would talk over a film, preferring to immerse herself in the story. Today she was all ears, savouring every word her great grandmother spoke.
"Charles, I know you've been waiting around for a long time, but always be on your toes, always be ready."
Charles, who was sitting on the sofa beside Camilla, nodded thoughtfully. "Yes Mummy."
"I expect by now." Elizabeth let out a short giggle. "You're quite prepared."
"Yes indeed, you've raised me very well Mummy." He took Camilla's hand in his and squeezed it gently. Ellie watched them as they left the room together, whispering quietly.
They probably have all sorts of plans for when they become the new heads of the family. Camilla will be in charge of all the ladies, oh lord.
"And William, be patient, follow in your fathers footsteps. Catherine, you look after him."
"Definitely Gran" Kate said, affectionately touching Wills arm.
"And Harry, Emma, make sure this family doesn't stay too old fashioned. We must keep up with the times. I don't want to find out later that you're all living on the streets."
"On it, granny." Harry came up and patted her hand before making his way out. Savannah immediately stole his spot beside Emma.
"And kids, you all need to stay together, stay connected. You're our next generation." Elizabeth stared at each of the kids. Alex, James, Mia, Lena and all the younger royals. Her gaze was particularly piercing when she lingered on the teens, those who would one day be the leaders.
"Could be our best yet." Philip laughed. The older royals around the room all collectively frowned.
"Now now." Elizabeth swatted Philips arm.
More hours passed, or what felt like hours. The films they watched were so out of order that Ellie quickly lost track of time. One minute they were watching Elizabeth and Philip in India and the next they were watching Emma and Harry in Florida at the Invictus Games. Food was constantly being brought in, along with drinks and milkshakes. One after another they worked their way through the royal collection of home movies, picking at random or voting together on what they wanted to watch. When a recording of James' christening finished, Harry went up to the collection of discs and started searching.
"Next one Gran?" he asked.
No response came, the laughter and joy in the room faded quickly. Everyone looked towards the bed still expecting an answer, but as the silence continued they all began to realise what was happening.
Elizabeth was lying back, her eyes closed, her body still.
"Granny?" Ellie asked, her voice breaking.
The tears started to break out all around her. The whole room stood up, surrounding the bed. James and Isla who were lying next to Elizabeth gently shook her, trying to wake her up and failing. They moved out of the way when Philip leaned over and kissed his wife's head, staying in the bed beside her whilst everyone else got off. Charles rushed back into the room after sensing the change in mood, hearing the crying. He knelt by the Queen's bedside and kissed her hand, tears rolling down his cheeks as he felt her pulse at the wrist. Ellie leaned in close to see what he was doing.
If the Queen's still body wasn't enough, Charles' defeated look definitely was. One of the footmen sprinted out of the room as soon as he saw Charles' face.
She must have passed quietly when we were all laughing, it couldn't have been painful, or we would have noticed. At least there's that.
Nobody knew what to do. They had all grown so used to Elizabeth being around for so long. Even with all the preparation for her eventual death, it didn't stop Ellie from feeling completely empty inside. All they could do was huddle around the bed, sniffling as they watched Philip make sure his wife looked comfortable.
"Ah, Archbishop, thank you for coming so soon." Charles announced. His voice felt so loud and disturbing, but only because they had all been so quiet.
"Of course, sir. Such a sad day." The Archbishop of Canterbury spoke solemnly as he made his way to the front of the bed. Harry helped move the children away to make space.
It was all moving so fast. The Archbishop lead the whole family in prayer and gave Elizabeth her last rites while Ellie watched, teary eyed and holding her sisters hand. Just like that the greatest Queen her country had ever had was gone, reigning for so long that most of them had lost count of how long it had been. A world without Elizabeth had always felt so far away, almost impossible to imagine, but it was here now.
The Archbishop looked to Charles, everyone looked to Charles. She could tell that all he wanted to do was cry, to mourn his mother, but in that moment, he had to be strong, his grief had to be put on hold.
"Long live the King." Philip said, still holding his wife's hand. Despite the sadness, he still sounded a bit proud.
Charles was momentarily speechless. Ellie grabbed his hand and held it tight, wanting to let him know that they were all there with him. He looked down at her with his other hand on his heart, then looked around the room, puffed up his chest and spoke with as much determination as he could manage.
"I'll make her proud. We all will."
The End
For now!