It's been two days since I got rescued. I was in my room next at Roman's pack house. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I needed my space. Everyone seemed to get the idea and gave me my space.
My mom would come in everyday to check up on me or bring me food since I wouldn't leave my room. During those moment that she would be in my room she would tell me that Alaric is wanting to see me or that Roman is wanting go see me aswell.
"Come on girl. You can't be here cooped up in your room." Says John walking inside. "You need to get out."
"What I need to do is go home." I say.
All I've been think about is about everything that's been going on in my life. Including my father that passed. Did I do the right thing in not forgiving him yet in the same way I felt like I did right thing. I needed anwsers as to why my family treated me the way they did. I just can't seem to understand why?
I need the ultimate closure. I need to really close this chapter in my life once I leave.
I need closure.
"So you are really not going to talk to Alaric anymore." Says John.
His name seemed to bring hurt to my heart. Why is everyone keep bringing him up. It's not like he cared about me. He even said it himself.
It's just hurts me so much to know that he never really loved me. Sometimes I just lay in bed crying because even though he hates me... I love him and I wish I could just stop. It's not so easy. And him wanting to see me is not making it any better.
Hasn't he caused enough pain. Or he wants to rub in his new relationship with Natasha.
"No... It's for the best." I say.
"Wait I think you need to hea-"
I cut off John.
"I have some place I need to be. I'll see you later." I say getting up. I had no makeup on or anything. I was natural. In a way I liked it.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
I signed.
"To get some real closure." I say.
I found myself knocking on Sandra's door. When she opened it. Her eyes were puffy...she looked sickly. When she saw me. She smiled in relief and had more tears in her eyes.
"Channel I didn't think you'd ever come again." She says. "I've so happy to see you are safe and sound. I went to go see you but nobody was letting me in. So I left you a sandwich just in case you wanted a snack."
I don't know why that clenched my heart.
"I need to talk to you." I said.
Here we both sat at the table. This is it. My closure as to why they hated me.
"Why did you and west hate me so much?" I asked. Surprised crossed her face.
She sighed tears started to come out her eyes.
"We didn't hate you." She says. "It hurts because everyone got to carried away always blaming you for everything. I never wanted you to think that I or your father hated you."
"Then why treat me like trash?" I ask. "I did everything to try and you proud yet it wasn't enough."
Sandra had more tears running down her face.
"I am proud." She says.
"Why because of who I am?" I say. "What if i was still that same girl that you broke. You would you still be proud of me."
All this anger coming out of me that I've been storing in for years are now finally being released.
"Yes." She says. "You don't understand how worried I was looking for you trying to see if you were safe. It was eye opening."
"Why would you do that?" I say now tears falling down my face. "You don't know how much you broke my heart when everyone was bullying due to my inability to shift or just on my looks. I would see you join them. I would hear you complaining to West about me and how I was even when I didn't even mess with any of you. I had to deal with constant beating. So much that one time you left me in hospital and just dropped me off. You turned your back on me when I needed you the most. You broke my heart mom."
I couldn't stop myself. My families betrayal was my biggest and it hurt the most. Because family was always suppose to be there.
"I'm so sorry." She says holding her heart.
"Why would you treat me like that." I asked wipping my tears.
"When you were small lile three or so. You were playing around. Your dad and I were busy cooking barbeque outside. You were just three when your ball went into the middle of the street... you went after it. There was a car coming fast towards you. When your grandpa ended up pushing you out of the way and he ended up being hit and killed by the car. We all loved grandpa very much... three days later after his death... grandma took her life. We just all blamed you for it. That was the biggest mistakes of out lives."
My grandpa gave up his life for me. That's why they act the way they acted. I never knew this.
Yet it doesn't excuse what they did but it does give to the backstory.
"We should have never blamed you." She says.
"I forgive you but I'll never forget." I says. Which Sandra stood up and hugged me.
"I'm so sorry about everything that i did. My sweet girl. My baby." She says crying.
"I have to go and I wish you the best Sandra." I say. That's all I wanted to know and I think I got my closure.
I can learn to forgive but never forget.
I stood in from of West's grace holding a rose in my hand.
"Hey dad." I say. "I know... I never through I would be here. But I think it's needed for my sake and I guess yours if you are even listening but I wanted to say that I know things between us hasn't been the best. But I wanted to say is that I forgive you even though I couldn't do that when you were living... but I forgive you and I hope you are resting in peace."
I couldn't hold in my tears. Here I was letting all the hurt caused by my parents. I was blamed for a death that I didn't even know about.
Every memories was coming back to me. All that inner pain. I feel like that chapter in that part of my life was closing. And in a way it was relieving.
I needed this.
I walked over to Roman who was sitting down by the table. He looked at me as I sat next to him. Here goes another chapter that I also had to close.
"Hi Roman." I say.
"Channel... hello?" He says astonished that I even sat next to him.
"Can we talk?" I asked.
"Yes of course we can." He says.
I have so many questions. I just needed to anwsers to.
"Why did you reject me?" I asked.
He face fell. Shame could be seen in his eyes.
"At the time that I met you I wanted to be the greatest Alpha of all time. I knew all Alpha's had strong Lunas at their sides. I was so fucking stupid and blinded by appearances." He says my hearts was hurting. "When I met you and realised you were my mate. I saw you as weak and not as beautiful. I was so dissapointed."
He shook his head. Tears started to fill up his eyes. I already had tears falling down mine.
"I was afraid of what neighboring packs had to say about you. First you were a whole kid and second you couldn't shift." He says. "So I took your sister to be my Luna. She was the most beautiful she wolf of the pack. I took her instead not knowing how much I was killing you inside.... I hate myself everyday for how I was to you. I hate myself for always joining the pack in humiliating, constantly bringing you down and rubbing the relationship with your sister in your face."
All those memories came back to me. Everything I went to.
"Then out of no where you left. That was a slap in the face." He says. "I didn't realise you being gone would leave a big hole in my heart and soul. I couldn't find you. I was so worried. I couldn't focus because you were always on my mind. It wasn't until you started to become known that I knew you were okay."
Roman grabbed my hand. This is as close as we are going to get really feeling the mate bond.
"My god how you blossomed into such a strong and independent woman. It made me proud to see you succeed in life more than you." He says. "I became your biggest fan."
I laughed a little as tears kept falling down my face.
"You Channel are so strong. You proved everyone wrong about you. That's makes me so proud." I can tell he really meant it. "I have many mistakes Channel but my biggest are never appreciating and cherishing you." He says. "I'm so sorry for hurting you. My moon's gift."
"And I forgive you." That made his shocked. "But I want you to know that I wish you the best. I want you find someone to love and appreciate Roman. You can't dwell on the past. I want you to blossom and become the Alpha you are meant to be."
With that we both hugged and cried. This is finally letting go and moving forward.
My closure.
Finally I felt light and all the grudges that I held finally left. The pack was having a little bond fire. It was an emotional day for me. My eyes were puffy from all the crying that I did with Roman Earlier.
"This is beautiful isn't." Says Mom looking at all the kids and families together being loving with eachother.
"Yes mom." I say sitting in the log. I laid my head on her shoulder.
"I'm so proud of what you did today." She says. "I'm so proud of you for being forgiving."
"It was hard." I say.
"It always is." She says stroking my hair. "But it makes you a bigger person and really move on."
"Yeah."
"Look who just showed up." I look up it was Alaric. My heart beat went up. I instantly stood up.
"I need to go."
I wanted to cry. He's probably with his new found love. With that I walked away and inside the pack house. I went to the library.
I didn't want to see Alaric. It was just to much.
"Why did you walk away."
I turned. There he was. I needed to get away.
"I have to go excuse me." I say so formal. He got in my way.
"We need to talk." He says.
I shook my head.
"No we don't. I really need to pack for tommorow." I say.
"I love you." He says.
"Yeah sure." I say still trying to leave.
"That's all you have to say?" He says. Connering me into a bookcase. "You are not leaving."
That's fucking it!
"What the hell is your problem. You tell me that you never loved me, cared and in fact you hated me. Now all of a sudden you want to come back to be acting as if that never happened. Then you accuse me if something I never did. And to top if all off I see your ex sitting on your lap and that you still have a thing for her." I say pushing him away. "I'm so done with that type of shit."
"For that I'm sorry." He says. "But I never said I didn't love you nor did I say I hated you. Can't you see when you asked me that I couldn't look at you. I couldn't lie." He says. "Do you know how many times I told you I love you and still after I didn't awnser you that question you instantly assumed I didn't."
I didn't want to cry but I was crying right now. I was breaking down because he hurt my feelings and my heart.
"Channel you are the love of my life." He says. "Believe it or not I have some insecurities. I never knew what you saw in me. How can such a woman like you want a bastard like me?"
My heart was beating fast. He was so close to me.
"I feel into a trap which was stupid of me."
I looked away then looked back at him.
"What about Natasha?"
"Oh her. She's dead. I killed her." He says.
Oh shit.
"Oh." I say. "Were you with her after we broke up?"
"No." He says.
"I need to leave." I say not knowing what to do.
I tried to walk away when he grabbed my hand and kissed me. The kiss was hungry on both parties. We've been away for too long.
"Your mine princess." He says. "I fucking love you and never doubt it."
With that kissed my neck. That's when I felt his fangs bite into it. He marked me.
I was too far gone.
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Here we layed naked. Together in the library. Alaric explained everything that happened to make him think that I cheated on him.
He explained everything to me. And in a way in understood him. He marked me as his.
Yet we still have a long way to go.
"I love you princess." He says.
"I love you my hybrid." I say.
I love him and I didn't fucking care what people thought.
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