WARNING: MAJOR TRIGGERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY UPSET. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
Mark's P.O.V
Today is the day of the wedding. Jack and I are finally making it official. I stand waiting for the love of my life to join me, but when the wedding anthem starts, Jack doesn't emerge. I hear whispers.
"I knew he wasn't going to go through with it."
"Mark wasn't good enough for him. Good for him for not doing this."
"He probably wasn't gay, he just pitied Mark."
All of these people, talking about how Jack never loved me. How I wasn't good enough for him. And they're right. I looked back at Dan, who I had met a few months ago and had easily become my best friend. But to my surprise, Felix was there.
"Nobody likes you, Mark. You're so ugly, fat, worthless... I'm not surprised he left. I'm just glad I didn't get this far with you," he said. He's right. I need to be somewhere. Anywhere. Not here.
I run to the woods where I used to go to think. But now it's corrupted. I ruin everything I touch.
I find a sturdy vine. I make the very thing that will take my last breath. I hear someone calling for me. I don't care who it is.
"Do it," the voices in my head say. As I climb up the tree to jump off of it with that rope tied around my neck and end my life, I hear the voice coming closer and closer. I need to end this. As I take my final breath, I jolt up. It was a dream? It wasn't real? I feel tears fresh on my face and hot in my eyes. I look around frantically to see Jack, kneeling next to me, pleading for me to wake up.
"Mark... What happened?" Jack pleaded. He was crying too.
"It was a dream. It was our wedding. You left me. You're going to leave me. I'm not good enough for you. I can't do this," I said as I was bawling my eyes out. I ran out as Jack screamed my name. I can't go through with this. I'll just end up hurting Jack.
No matter what, I hurt Jack.
No matter what, I'll always be worthless.
No matter what, no one will love me.
And maybe that's how it's meant to be.
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Hey, sorry for the short-lived hiatus. I'm in a mental state in which I don't want to break down and die every day anymore, so I decided to come back. See how writing feels. It's not like it used to be, but I'll keep writing. I still moderately enjoy it, so here I am.
Stay strong, and remember, you are loved