"Why are you under the table?" He asked and I momentarily lost speech capability.
"I-I was afraid someone would come back," I murmured and felt my abdomen clench in anxiety. Beth had no idea what was going on, and she was terrified of him.
"Don't worry, they've been given orders not to harm you," Lux nodded and stretched his hand out to me, I hesitantly took it with one last glance at Beth. She looked betrayed, by me.
Then I realized what this must look like to her.
I shot her a pleading glance, but wasn't sure of it got through. One could hope.
"Orders... from who?" I asked in confusion as he pulled me up.
"From me," he stated, and my stomach dropped even further. "Let's go."
For the second time he tried to drag me out of the ballroom. And for the second time, I resisted.
"W-wait, Lux, I can't go with you," I sighed, he looked unfazed. "I'm sorry."
"Why not?" He murmured, he was expressionless.
"I'm so sorry, I never thought I'd find you," I lamented, I had taken something away from him that he could never have again. His mate. "I already have a mate."
"Excuse me?" Lux narrowed his amber eyes and stepped closer to me.
"I-I thought I didn't have a mate! I'm sorry," I pleaded but I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. He just looked at me, tracing the curves of my face with his eyes.
"That doesn't matter now," he hissed and squeezed my wrist, "you have me. Forget him."
"I can't! I'm already marked, Lux!" I yelped, it wasn't getting through to him. He didn't care.
"I don't mind," he murmured and pushed me along. My heart thumped against my ribcage almost painfully.
"Please, I love him," I begged but there was no winning this fight.
"I won't discuss this anymore," Lux stated and I felt his hand rest on my hip. "You are my mate. You are mine."
"P-please, I'm scared," it was all I could say, because I was. I was terrified. I wanted Cassius. I wanted him to save me.
"Don't be, I will take care of you," he assured me and brushed his lips over my cheek.
"I'm so sorry, Lux."
-
I didn't know where I was, or what time. Even what dimension. But Lux had taken me here, and it felt like hours had passed. I wanted Cassius. He would hold me, he would comfort me. My lip quivered, would I ever see him again?
I laid on my side. Lux had taken me to a room, his, I assumed. I laid on a bed. In the dark. Waiting for him.
Maybe I could convince him to take me back. I could explain that I was in love with Cassius. And it hurt to think about it. Lux hadn't done anything wrong, and I had hurt him. So badly, without even knowing it. I thought I didn't have a mate. Maybe I would have thought more of marking Cassius if I knew I did. Because now, now I may never see him again.
I slid my hand down my leg, resting over the mark he had given me. It felt as though I could feel him, his heart pulsing a million miles away. Just through the mark. It connected us.
Could you even remove marks? Was it possible? The thought horrified me. It was the last thing I had of Cassius. And for that to be ripped away from me... I couldn't stand it.
I sighed and buried my head in the pillows, they smelled like Lux. It was comforting to feel his scent wash over me and I hated it. Cassius was my mate. He always would be. But the bond... it was strong, how long could I resist it?
A hand swept over my back and I jolted in surprise.
"Shh, it's just me," Lux. I felt my muscles relax in his presence. I sat up and turned in the direction if his voice.
"Lux, I have to go back," I murmured, "I have to-"
The vampire pressed his hand over my mouth and stopped some from continuing.
"I told you I would not discuss that subject," his tone was calm and soothing, if he was angry, he didn't show it. "Do not speak of him."
I wrapped my arms protectively around my body and gave a slow nod. After a moment, he leaned over me, I could feel the weight on either side of my thighs where his hands were. His hot breath hovered over my shoulder.
I almost jumped in surprise when he rested his face in my neck, inhaling my scent. Impulsively, I relaxed my body into his and felt my fingers itch to touch him. But I had to resist.
I had to.
For Cassius.
"I looked for you for so long," he murmured and I could hear the raw emotion in his voice. He sounded almost heartbroken. I felt immediately terrible. It was all my fault. "I was so lost."
Lux pressed his chest to mine as I laid my back on the mattress. His body was wedged between my legs. It felt wrong to hold him like this. But I was compelled to comfort him. It was so hard.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whimpered and wrapped my arms around his torso, "I didn't know."
"If only I'd found you sooner," he lamented like it was his fault and I felt anger boil inside of me. If it weren't for me. If I wasn't so stupid he wouldn't feel like this.
I wish I had never met either of them.
I wish things could go back to how they were. With Jamie and Impulse. All I wanted was to be happy. It was all I ever wanted.
We sat in the darkness. Wrapped around each other. I felt his hot breath covering my neck and it warmed my entire body. My soul.
"Lux?" I called and pet his hair gently. Maybe I could gain his trust. I immediately dismissed the thought. I wouldn't betray him. I would help him realize that I was meant to be with Cassius. He didn't deserve anymore pain.
"Mm?" He hummed and it sent vibrations throughout my whole body.
"I'm sorry," it was all I could say to him because I was so sorry. I had taken his mate away.
"Then don't leave," he murmured, the words were muffled but sincere. It tore me to pieces.
I held my breath for a moment.
"Okay," it hurt knowing that I had lied. But I knew it was the right answer when he let out something like a purr of satisfaction. My heart beat faster than normal, I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins. It was so surreal to be holding him like this.
Lux brushed his fingers over my jugular.
"Are you scared?" He asked, his voice was back to how it had been. Completely emotionless. "Of me?"
"No, I'm just..." I gulped and held him tighter, "I'm confused. And worried."
"I understand, but I can't let you go," his grip tightened on my body, "not again."
We were in silence again. The only sound was my quickly beating heart and our breathing.
"You can see your family when the war is over, if you'd like," he finally murmured and I felt my blood run cold. Lux was not going to let me off the hook easily. The war had been alive for centuries. Who knew how long it would last?
"Thank you, Lux," I choked out anyways and I knew he liked that I had used his name. It was subtle. In the way his breath caught ever so slightly, and how he hugged me just a little bit closer. I felt his hand slide down my thigh and inhaled sharply.
"I won't touch you if you don't want me to," he sighed and pressed his thumb down softly.
"I-I'm sorry, I just can't right now, I'm sorry," sooner or later, I would need energy anyways. And he wasn't going to let anyone else touch me. But how could I betray Cassius like that?
"That's alright," Lux breathed and kissed my neck in the place where my collar bone dipped. "Are you tired?"
I opened my mouth to say no, but I couldn't fight the wave of exhaustion that washed over me with his words.
"Kind of," I muttered and blinked slowly.
"You can sleep, no one will disturb you," Lux replied, he sounded tired himself.
"Okay," I sighed and twisted my fingers in his dark hair, letting sleep wash over me in his arms.
How long could I resist this?
MY BABY LUX, I'M SO SORRY.
July 2018