"Are you all right, ma'am?" one of the protection officers asked.
"Yep, all fine." Ellie rushed out of the shack, the smell of sweat and body odour was making the sinking feeling in her stomach all the more worse. She hated feeling this way, half a dozen of her idols descending on her house should make her feel excited, not cause her to be anxiously looking for an escape. She had to speak to Mum about this.
Ellie came back into the house and pushed through the door to the kitchen before she could be blocked from entering once again. Her uncle James stood at the counter, putting the finishing touches on a magnificent three-tiered birthday cake. He turned to her as she entered, an icing covered knife in one hand and a small bowl of cherries in the other.
"Morning birthday girl." He said, licking clean one of his fingers and moving to block her view of the cake. "You're not supposed to be seeing this."
"It's all right, Alex already let slip how big the cake was." Ellie said, distracted. "Have you seen Mum?"
James looked a bit disappointed. "She's just next door, looking after your brother."
"Oh, did something happen?" Ellie asked. Only an emergency would get her mother out of the kitchen before a birthday party, she always loved baking alongside her brother.
"He slipped and knocked over some cups, he's alright. Just a bit worked up."
Ellie nodded and headed through the kitchen. She could hear her little brother wailing on the other side of the door. "The cake looks amazing!" She remembered to say to her uncle before she left, bringing a smile to his face.
Slowly she opened the door into the living room, a huge ornately decorated space with bay windows and doors that opened into the sprawling back garden. Caterers and staff were rushing about outside, winding ribbons around the trees and putting the finishing touches in place. She couldn't hear over her brother's wailing, but it seemed like it was quite chaotic outside. Ellie searched around, finding her mother consoling her little brother, who was having one heck of a cry.
"It's all right Georgie, s'all right. Mummy didn't mean to yell at you, it's just a busy day today. All right?"
"I'm sorry Mummy, soooo sorry!" George was bawling into Kate's chest while she held him tight, desperate for him to calm down before the guests started arriving. No matter what she did, George refused to settle down. Ellie figured that Mum yelling at him must have been quite a shock, she was always very calm when it came to parenting, so much so that Ellie barely remembered being yelled at when she was younger.
Maybe royal children were never born to be wild, or growing up among all the rigid traditions and pageantry makes them instinctively well behaved. In Ellie's case, she'd always been conscious of the public eye and was therefore desperate to avoid making a tit of herself in front of everyone, but that was only once she understood what the public eye was. Maybe this age was just the worst age, where kids are independent enough to do things on their own, but still so attached to their parents that any mistake they make causes them to cry for days.
Whatever it was, she could tell that her mother was feeling a bit overwhelmed. George's twin sister Charlotte skipped joyfully into the room and started winding pink ribbons around Ellie and her mother, only to get her legs muddled up in them as she tried to complete a figure of eight. Charlotte stumbled up to her feet and tugged frustratedly on the ribbon when it wouldn't go any further, jerking Ellie and her mother around each time she pulled.
"Ellie, darling, could you take your baby sister outside?" Kate asked her. She was trying to remain level headed but it was easy to see that she was on the edge. She didn't want to yell at her kids again and Ellie wanted to help her out. She thought for a flittering moment about her anxiety, the building sense of doom she felt before a public engagement and why on earth she had to feel that way on her birthday. She wanted to ask her mum where her friends were and who all these strangers are, but now wasn't the time.
Ellie gathered up the ribbon and started wrapping it around her little sister, pulling her closer. "Do you want to go on an adventure?" she asked her with all the magic and fantasy in her voice that she could muster.
Charlotte nodded at her excitedly, holding up her arms to be picked up. "Let's go!" she demanded, and Ellie obeyed. Kate gave her a thankful look, mouthing the words "Love you" as she continued to cuddle George close to her chest. Ellie slid open the doors to the garden and lifted her sister onto her hip, then stepped out into the sunshine to escape George's crying.
"Why's Georgie so sad Elleeeeen?" her sister asked in such a cute sing song voice that it was hard for Ellie to correct her.
"Georgie's sad because Mummy yelled at him really bad, but Mummy's really sorry." Ellie answered, bopping her sister's nose as she carried her around the garden. The staff worked around her and bowed every so often, but she just waved them off and whispered for them to ignore her.
"Mummy yells a lot recently, Daddy too. They get really upset sometimes." Charlotte prodded at her chest as she spoke.
"That's not true is it Lottie? It's not nice to make stuff up." Ellie told her. The idea of her parents shouting seemed so absurd, but why would her sister lie? Did Charlotte even know what lying was?
"It is true!" Charlotte said indignantly.
"When was this?" Ellie asked.
"All the time shout shout shout, it's really loud."
Ellie carried this new information around the garden, along with Charlotte. She wanted to head back inside and ask her Mum about it, but the guests were starting to amble into the garden to join her. She greeted some of her family, including her cousins the Yorks as well as her aunt Pippa, who kissed her on the cheeks and wished her a happy birthday. Charlotte said hello to some, with others she shyly hid away and buried her face in Ellie's shoulder.
The staff started serving small chocolate treats, carrying them through the crowds on small plates. All the while the guests kept pouring in, all coming to greet her. It felt too strange to hide away at her own birthday party, yet that was what she wanted to do. As more and more new, unfamiliar faces came up to her, all smiles, all filled with birthday praise, the idea of a private family birthday party quickly vanished. All she wanted was the find a nice little rabbit hole and slide down it, or at least for Charlotte to wet herself so that she'd have a reason to go inside again.
"How're you feeling Lotts? Need to pee pee?" Ellie asked, inwardly cringing at herself. She never expected to be feeling her sister's nappy and hoping it was wet. It wasn't.
"Noooope! Get more cake please!" Charlotte was reaching for a dish of chocolate rice crispie cakes. Ellie obliged, grabbing a dozen for her to nibble on.
Maybe if she was crying, people would want to give us some space? Make her cry? How evil are you?
"Your Highness, you're such a good big sister." A voice came from behind her. She span around, causing Charlotte to fumble a rice crispie treat. Ellie caught it before it hit the floor and gave it back to her sister. The treat seemed to be working as well as any standard pacifier.
"Oh, thanks." Ellie answered, blushing. Now it was her turn to hide her face.
Taylor Swift stood before her, glowing in the summer sun as if she was there to film a new music video. Ellie was struggling to maintain her inner fangirl, she was practically bouncing on her heels wanting to leap into Taylor's arms, but she couldn't. Not with everyone around, staring at her and expecting a certain level of decorum. It was clear to her that Taylor was expecting that as well. She was always excitable around fans, but here she was calm, tranquil, even a bit reserved.
"She's sweet." Taylor noted, eyeing Charlotte who was nervously watching her while eating.
"You know Taylor don't you Lottie?" Ellie glanced up at Taylor. "I sing all her songs in the bath, don't I?"
Ellie wanted to inject some fun into the conversation, loosen things up and make it feel like a party again. Taylor snickered at her, appearing somewhat surprised. Charlotte nodded eagerly and started listing off all the songs that Ellie sung around the house while Taylor listened, amazed. More guests started to gather around, drawn to the laughter.
Ellie was loving it, it seemed like the best way to show how much she loved Taylor that didn't include running upstairs to change into her favourite glitter skirt, T-Swift shirt, deep red lipstick and then singing Wildest Dreams.
She had just told Taylor to call her Ellie, thinking to herself that she didn't want to be referred to as Your Highness on her birthday, when suddenly the crowd grew quiet. Every guests head was turning to an archway in the hedge, which had been covered in fairy lights and rows of flowers. Through the archway walked her great grandmother Elizabeth, flanked by Philip close behind her.
Immediately Ellie could feel the maturity of the party rise, yet bitterly she thought it was a party no more. It was more like a family 'function'. She loved them dearly, but when her great grandparents arrived, both of them now over a hundred and still somehow going strong, all unrestrained joy seemed to become tightly buckled down, replaced with admiration and respect.
None of these were bad things, but at a birthday party she didn't want to feel restrained. Normally it would just be family, and when her great grandparents arrived things would quieten down for a time, only to pick back up again later. Yet with all the guests, all the unfamiliar faces, all the formality – her party had now become a royal engagement, and that meant everyone had to put their royal faces on.